A Week in the Life of the Smashers
Ron Host is pacing nervously outside the doctor's office. "Oh Nintendogeek01… what has come over you?" Ron Host asked to no one in particular. Suddenly the doctor came bursting out of the office.
"Mr. Host! We've found the cure!"
"Well perform it already! Nintendogeek01's got another chapter to write!" Ron Host demanded.
"Right! Bring in the patient!" The doctor yelled. A nurse then pushed me in to the room. I'm just standing there with a scary looking smile staring blankly in to space.
"Ron Host is the best… I love Bowser… I want to play Xbox or Playstation…" I mumble.
"What are you waiting for! Give him the cure!" Ron shouted.
"Right!" The doctor pulls out a fish and slaps me across the face with.
SMACK
"Huh? Where am I?" I ask. "Ron are you slacking off again! And where's Bowser? I need to drop something on his head! And somebody get me a hammer to smash an Xbox or Playstation with!" I start demanding.
"You're back!" Ron shouts. He runs over and hugs me.
"Uh… Ron…"
"Disclaimer: Nothing in this story is owned by the author except for the story itself and me itself." Ron Host said while hugging me. "Oh you're back!"
"Ron… let go." I say trying to suppress my annoyance.
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Day 4
Falco was in his bedroom lying down on his bed thinking to himself. He had a third floor room, the walls were a silver color, and the carpet was a basic blue in color. Their were numerous posters of himself and Arwings around the room, and their was only a single closet, and of course the balcony window. "Aw man… I'm going to have to tell Fox sooner or later. But man… he'd get reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally upset… I mean, he might start shooting at me. Wait… naaaaaahhh… Fox wouldn't do that. You know what I think I'll go tell him now." Falco said. Falco got himself up out of bed and walked toward his door. The second Falco opened it…
"FALCOOOOOOOOOOO!"
BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM
"HOLY SNOT!!!" Falco ducked back in to his room just in time to avoid a bunch of laser blasts. Falco peeked around the corner of his door frame and noticed that their were several sandbags at the other end of the hallway, where Fox's room was. "Fox?" Falco asked nervously.
"So it was you who blew up the Great Fox!" Fox shouted while pointing at Falco.
"Uh… what would give you that idea?" Falco asked getting a little sweaty.
"I hired a private detective! She traced the missile back to here, then dusted the panels for fingerprints and found yours!" Fox shouted.
"Who the hell did you hire?"
"I can't think of her name right now… she was some little girl that was as pale as a ghost." Fox said. "But that doesn't matter! Take this!" Fox then began firing off his blaster at Falco once again.
"Ah!" Falco ducked back in to his room. Then a wall of sandbags slid out of Falco's room and formed another barricade at the other end of the hallway. "Alright Fox… bring it on!" Falco shouted. Falco then pulled out his blaster and began firing away at Fox.
"For the Great Fox!" Fox shouted firing back.
After about a minute of blaster fire, everyone on that half of the second floor; which included Bowser, Mewtwo, Pit, and the Ice Climbers peeked out of their rooms to look out. "What the heck is going- GAAAAAAAAH!" Bowser was the only one who completely stepped out of his room; thus blaster fire from both ends blasted him. "Ugh…" Bowser fell on his back straight back in to his room. The others were thankfully smart enough not to get in the way.
"This can't be good." Pit said.
"How so?" Nana asked over the blaster fire.
Suddenly Kirby and Yoshi came towards that by taking the adjoining hallway. Kirby went to the left for the bathroom while Yoshi went right for the stairs.
"Oh so you're taking his side huh?" Fox and Falco said at the exact same time. Falco started aiming at Yoshi while Fox aimed for Kirby.
"PYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"YOOOOOOOSHIIIIIIIIIII!"
"Of course their rooms would be in front of the bathroom or the stairs." Mewtwo said with obvious annoyance.
"Eh… I'll just fly out the window." Pit said.
"We can climb down Nana, let's go." Popo said.
"Okay."
"How am I getting down?" Bowser asked. Suddenly he disappeared and reappeared in Mewtwo's room.
"I can teleport you down if you need it." Mewtwo offered.
"Okay! Do it!" Bowser said. Mewtwo pointed his hand on Bowser and made him disappear.
"Oops…" Mewtwo said with his eyes wide open.
"What's wrong?" Pit asked, flying in through Mewtwo's window.
"I teleported him to the wrong location." Mewtwo said embarrassingly.
"Where'd you send him?" Pit asked.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Bowser yelled as he fell down to the ground past Mewtwo's window, hitting the ground with a loud
THUD
"That could have been worse." Pit said. That's when a loud
KABOOOOOOOOOOOM
Sounded and smoke rose up from where Bowser landed. "Never mind…" Pit said.
"I need to help the others get downstairs." Mewtwo said in a rather blasé manner.
Meanwhile…
DK is lying in his bedroom on the third floor. Completely ignoring the blaster sounds coming from the other side of the floor. His room had wooden plank flooring and walls. His bed was a hammock, and his closet had a bunch of red ties. The only other furniture was several barrels.
Bowser then lumbered in to the room with smoke trailing from his body, and some fresh laser burns to go with it. "Oo?" DK was curious to the sudden entry.
"Listen, DK… the author clearly has it in for me." Bowser started.
"Yeah…" DK nodded in agreement.
"Hey! Anyways, I need a sucker… I mean… friend to be my bodyguard. So… would you be interested?" Bowser asked.
"Hmmmmm… Okay!" DK then ran in to his closet, shut the door, then jumped back out. He was now wearing a tux on the upper half of his body with his usual tie. He also had sunglasses and an earpiece on his head. DK gave a thumbs-up and a big toothy grin.
"Nice monkey suit." Bowser thought to himself.
Meanwhile…
Solid Snake, C. Falcon, and Marth were in the mansion's front garden. Snake was behind a bush hooking up wires and plugs from behind the bush while C. Falcon and Marth were passing stuff to him. "So… what's with this security system?" C. Falcon asked.
"It's to keep out intruders." Snake answered hastily.
"Has Master Hand seen the bill for this?" Marth asked.
"It's on my dime." Snake said back as he connected more wires.
"But aren't missile launchers, machine gun turrets, and automated laser guns a bit much?" C. Falcon asked as he picked up the blueprints and looked at them.
"Trust me, they're necessary." Snake answered.
"But what if this thing goes haywire or something?" C. Falcon asked.
"Ah! I've thought of that, and I'm going to distribute the password around the mansion." Snake said.
Suddenly Marth got a sly smile on his face. "Say… could you tell us the password?" Marth asked.
"Well… you guys helped me out, so I guess I can tell you now. It's…"
Meanwhile…
"Ha! I win!" Link said.
"Grrrrrrr… best 133 out of 265." Ganondorf dared.
"You're on!" Link said. Ganondorf put in another quarter in to the arcade machine and they went another round of Tekken 4
"Hey misters… we've been waiting to play for hours now." A random little kid complained.
"Ha! Take that Link!" Ganondorf jeered.
"Yeah, well I'm not done yet!" Link snapped back as they put yet another quarter in.
"Aw man…"
Suddenly the door to the arcade was kicked open as an angry Zelda came storming in. "Alright, I've been trying to keep my temper, but this has gone far enough." Zelda said. She walked over towards Ganondorf and Link, and grabbed them both by the ear. "Come on!" She demanded.
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!" They said.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" The kids cheered.
"We are going to watch Y. Link's baseball game. And you two are going to like it!" Zelda said.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Both Link and Ganondorf shouted.
Meanwhile…
Kirby and Yoshi looked around. Every restaurant they had been to the past few days had signs up with pictures of their faces circled in red with a dash through the circle. Indicating "NO KIRBYS OR YOSHIS"
"Yosh…" Yoshi sighed.
"Pyo…" Kirby sighed. Then as if to answer their desperate prayers, they saw a really large restaurant at the end of the street, and it was the only restaurant that didn't have a no Kirby or Yoshi sign.
"YOSHI!!!"
"PYO!!!" They both ran toward the restaurant, thus creating a two person stampede.
"Stop right there!" Meta-Knight shouted.
"Huh?" The two stopped short and found Meta-Knight standing in front of the door of the restaurant.
"You two have caused too much decline in the restaurants businesses in the Smash World. This is the only restaurant you two haven't hit, and you're not getting in on my watch." Meta-Knight said.
"Pyo?" Kirby asked making puppy dog eyes.
"Yoshi?" Doing the same thing.
"Awwwww… that's so cute… so…" Meta-Knight stepped to the side and as the two of them were about to walk through, he pulled out his sword and smacked them with the broadside of his sword. Thus he caused them go flying through the air. "Sorry, I'm immune to the puppy face." Meta-Knight said simply.
Meanwhile…
In the mansion's backyard, there was a crowd of various residents of the Smash World, mostly consisting of toads from the Mushroom Kingdom. In the middle of the crowd was Mario and Wario facing each other.
"Oh this is going to end badly…" Peach said.
"How can you tell?" Samus asked, completely disinterested.
"This is a humor story…" Peach said.
"True." Samus responded.
"Okay then! We'll do three contests and whoever wins two of them wins the challenge and the other shaves his mustache." Wario said.
"Okey-dokey." Mario agreed.
"I'll pick first. And my first choice… a Pie eating contest!"
"A what?" The two female smashers asked. Almost immediately, a large table was set in front of Mario and Wario with two gigantic stacks of pies next to both of them.
"Whoever eats the most in five minutes wins." Said some really fat guy. "Ready…." Mario and Wario tightened white napkins around their necks. "Go!" The two were off in a flash, each one stuffed a pie in to their mouths in one bite and then they threw away the pie tray in whatever direction.
"INCOMING!" Samus ducked behind her seat and grabbed Peach and got her out of the way just in time.
"Sheesh, they're eating awfully fast…" Peach said as several empty pie trays flew over the gate around the gardens. "Boy, I hope they don't hit anybody." Peach said.
Meanwhile…
Bowser and DK were walking down a street nearby with DK walking in front keeping an eye out. That's when all of a sudden, various pie trays started flying towards them.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Save me!" Bowser shouted as he ducked for his life.
"Okay!" DK ran for a street post and yanked it out of the ground. He began swinging it around wildly, knocking away the pie trays as they came along.
"Hey… this bodyguard may have been the best idea I had y…"
BAM
DK swung back too hard and hit Bowser in the face with the street post. "GAH!" Then DK swung back again and hit Bowser on the side of the head.
BWAM
"DOH!" Then DK hit Bowser again and again and again each time DK reeled back for a swing. "ARGH! OOF! BAH! DOOF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Finally Bowser got hit hard enough by the pole to go flying backward in to a nearby garden's thorn bush. "AAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!!!"
"Oh yeah!" DK was apparently oblivious to what he just did and he turned around to see Bowser not standing right behind him. "Huh? Eh…" DK grunted and hurled the post behind him.
"Ugggghhh… this could not hurt any worse…" Bowser said just before the street post landed on top of him.
Back to the challenge…
Five minutes were up and both Mario and Wario had really big pork bellies. "Ooooooohhhhh… man I ate a lot…" Wario said.
"Mama-mia… That-a was a bit-a much…" Mario said. Finally, two toads were done counting the pies the two had eaten.
"Okay, Mario has eaten 50 pies… and Wario has eaten 54 pies. Wario wins!" One of the toads shouted.
"WHAT!!!" Everyone was exasperated.
"Ha! In your face! And now… I need to uh… excuse me…" Wario gloated a bit before running toward the mansion as fast as he could with his bloated gut.
"I-a need to-a… well never mind-a…" Mario said as he ran toward the mansion as well.
"Looks like we'll be here a while…" Samus sighed. "Peach?" Peach turned to see Peach fainted at the sound of hearing Mario losing. "Oy… say I wonder how Luigi's doing." Samus said.
Meanwhile…
"But I-a don't want to-a play-a baseball…" Luigi whined as the two Ice Climbers dragged him to the park.
"Oh come on, it'll be fun." Nana said.
"We're here!" Popo said. The three had arrived at the baseball field in the park, where Ness, the three Pokemon, Pit, and Y. Link were waiting.
"Great! You're here!" Pit shouted.
"About time!" Came Pokey's voice. He and his team of very large professional baseball players were standing in wait for them. "I'm getting sick of waiting!"
"You wouldn't have to wait if you did this yesterday!" Ness shouted back.
"Enough talk! My team is first at bat! So let's go!" Pokey shouted.
"Let's go for it!" Y. Link shouted.
"You'll do great Y. Link!" Zelda shouted from some nearby seats, while Link and Ganondorf sat beside her, arms crossed and making pouting faces.
"This stinks…" Link said.
"I don't even like baseball…" Ganondorf complained.
"And the teams are setting up!" Ron Host's voice blared in the microphone.
"When did you get here?" Zelda asked.
"Just now, the author told me to come here to liven things up a little bit." Ron Host said.
"Okaaaaaayyyy…" Link said a little disturbed by what Ron could have possibly meant.
Meanwhile…
"Now zen… I vant you to say cat vith your lips." The Swedish instructor said.
"But I…" Mewtwo started to say telepathically.
"Vhat vas zat?"
"Uh…" Mewtwo opened his mouth again and said… "…meep…" with the usual dried up high-pitched squeaky voice.
"Now just say cat."
"meep… meeeeeeeep…" Mewtwo struggled desperately to say cat. We'll just check back later.
Meanwhile…
"Gasp… wheeze…" C. Falcon was breathing heavily as he ducked around to the other side of the third floor hallway. "Geez, those guys are insane now…" C. Falcon said.
"Oh so you decided to take Falco's side huh?" Fox shouted.
"You aren't getting anywhere near this side for siding with that Fox!" Falco shouted.
"Man… Wario's taken the bathroom on the second floor, Mario, Snake, and Marth have taken the bathrooms on the first floor, and now I can't get to this bathroom…" C. Falcon whined. "Alright, I'm going to have to take a chance…" C. Falcon gulped. Then he ran back in to that part of the hallway.
"How dare you take his side!"
"Don't you dare come over here!" More blaster fire results from this.
Meanwhile…
Meta-Knight is still standing at the door to the restaurant, letting people in if they weren't Kirby or Yoshi. "This is working out better than I thought it would…" Meta-Knight thought to himself. That's when a fairly tall guy in a long coat and hat came walking by a little unsteadily. "Good afternoon sir." Meta-Knight said cordially.
"Pyo…"
"What was that?"
"…"
"Hmmmm… eh, go on through." Meta-Knight finally said. As the guy walked by, Meta-Knight deliberately stepped on the guy's coat, causing him to trip. As it turns out, Kirby was standing on Yoshi's head underneath the coat for a cheesy disguise. "Nice try."
"Yoshi…"
"Pyo?"
"Yes I am." Meta-Knight once again slammed the two of them with the broadside of his sword and sent them both flying through the air.
"Pyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"
"Yooooooooooooooooooooooshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!"
Meanwhile…
"Pokey's team has made two runs, and they have received two outs, the bases are loaded, Pokey Minch is at bat, and Ness is preparing the pitch." Ron Host announced.
"I'm going to smack this right out of the park!" Pokey shouted.
"Whatever." Ness said. Ness reeled back and threw a fastball.
"Ha!" Pokey pushed a button on his bat, and the bat started vibrating, and it took a swing almost by itself. The bat struck the ball and sent it flying over the fence waaaaaaaaaay over it.
"Oh no! We'll never catch it now!" Pit shouted from the outfield.
"If only one of us could fly." Y. Link said.
"You morons! Pit! You can fly after the (censored) ball!" Ganondorf shouted.
"Oh yeah." Pit said and he began to fly toward the ball. It's at that time that Zelda smacks Ganondorf behind the head.
"Ganondorf! No need to use such language around the kids!" Zelda shouted.
"Heh heh heh… this is more entertaining than I thought it would be." Link said laughing at Ganondorf's pain.
"I got it!" Pit shouted.
"Ness' team is now at bat!" Ron Host shouted.
"Hey! You can't go over the fence to catch something!" Pokey shouted.
"Well, it never hit the ground." Ron Host said.
"Yes! Let's go!" Popo shouted.
"Pichu!"
"Jiggly!"
A few seconds later…
"Ness is first at bat for his team." Ron Host said. In Pokey's dugout, Pokey painted a bomb to where it looked exactly like a baseball.
"Here you go, just pitch this at Ness." Pokey said. "He he he he he!" Pokey laughed as little red horns came from his head. "Ah-hem." Pokey then instantly regained his composure. Pokey's pitcher reeled back and threw a real fastball.
"Here we go!" Ness swung his bat and sent it flying out of the park.
"That's odd, why didn't it explode?" Pokey asked.
Meanwhile…
Bowser and DK are walking up an uphill street, DK leading the way. "Wait!" DK stopped Bowser.
"Is something going to hit me?" Bowser asked looking around in a panicked fashion.
"Ice Cream!" DK then abandoned Bowser and ran over to a nearby ice cream truck.
"Figures." Bowser groaned. Bowser then looked up in to the sky and saw a small dot coming toward him. "Huh? Is that a baseball?" Bowser asked. Then…
KABOOM
"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!" Bowser got sent flying backward until he was several feet away from the ice cream truck. Speaking of which…
"I'm sorry sir, we don't have banana flavored ice cream." The ice cream man said.
"Awwwww…" DK whined.
"Now it's time for my lunch break." The ice cream man then exited the ice cream truck and left it alone.
"Hmph." DK was so frustrated that he gave the truck a light kick. However since this is DK we're talking about, a light kick by his standards is still pretty hard, thus the truck's brakes were destroyed and the truck started rolling downhill.
"Ugh… man, could this get any… GAH!" Before Bowser could finish that question, the ice cream truck rammed him and began carrying him along downhill picking up speed as it rolled on. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Finally the ice cream truck rammed in to the side of a really thick concrete wall.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy!" All of the ice cream spilled out of the ice cream truck and a bunch of little kids came and took all of the ice cream. DK then appeared and pushed the ice cream truck off of Bowser, sending it rolling backwards up the hill some ways.
"You know… you're a little late to help." Bowser gasped.
"Eh…" DK then walked off. It was then that the ice cream truck came back down the hill and rammed Bowser against the wall again.
"GAH!"
Meanwhile…
"Whew… mama-mia I ate-a too many-a pies." Mario said finally exiting the mansion.
"Okay! You're pick for a contest now." Wario said.
"I-a pick… an obstacle-a course." Mario said.
"Phew… I think Mario can handle this." Peach said. It was then that a bunch of toads took out some kind of inflatable like you see at carnivals. They turned on the air and in a few minutes, you had a large inflatable, two-person obstacle course, with a climbing wall, a slide, pillars, and several trampolines.
"First one to cut the ribbon wins." Said a toad with a mustache. "On your mark…" Mario and Wario crouched at the starting place. "Get set…" The two glared at each other. "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" Everyone then falls over collectively.
"TELL THEM TO GO ALREADY!" Everyone shouted.
"Oh! GO!" Mario and Wario are off like a rocket. Mario easily gets up the wall, while Wario is having a bit more trouble. Mario slides down the slide and pushes his way past all the inflatable pillars. Wario finally rolls down the slide and manages to get back up. Mario then jumps through all the trampolines.
"Hoo… hoo… oh man…" Wario then falls on his face and somehow blows a hole in a critical spot on the course. The course then went…
KABOOM
"WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Mario goes flying straight up in to the air until he does a face plant in to the ground right in front of the goal.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Wario on the other hand goes flying past through the goal posts.
"I guess Wario wins!" The ref announced.
"No!" Peach shouted before fainting.
"Ugh…" Samus sighed as she caught her. Mario then gets up, sways a little bit, and then collapses on top of the ribbon and tears it.
"Oh wait, no Mario wins since he broke the ribbon." The ref corrects.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!" Everyone shouts.
"Now let's prepare for the final… huh?" Wario had hit the Iron Gate fence and was now unconscious, while Mario was obviously unconscious after all of that. "Okay… I guess we'll need to wait for them to wake up." The ref said.
Meanwhile…
"Meep… meeeeeeeeeeeeep…" Mewtwo was still struggling desperately to say cat.
"Come come! You 'ave to say cat!" The Swedish instructor said.
"Meep…"
Meanwhile…
"Oh Roy, I'm glad we got to go on a date after all." Lilina said.
"Well, this was the only restaurant that had any food left, it wasn't any trouble getting in here." Roy said. They were in the restaurant that Meta-Knight was guarding from Kirby and Yoshi. Roy and Lilina were enjoying freshly cooked lobster, marinated in butter.
In the kitchen…
"Table ten needs some spaghetti and meatballs." A waiter called in to the kitchen.
"You've got it." The cook called back. The vent above the cook started to shake, and finally the vent door opened unnoticeably. Kirby and Yoshi then poked their heads out from the vent.
"Yoshi…" He said as his mouth began to water.
"Pyo…" Same as above.
"Ah-hah!" Came a familiar voice from behind them.
"Pyo!"
"Yoshi!" They were both grabbed roughly and pulled around the vents.
Back at the dinner…
CLANG BANG BOOM
"What is all that noise?" Lilina asked.
"Sounds like something in the vents." Roy said. "Oh well." The two then resumed eating.
Outside…
Meta-Knight pulled Kirby and Yoshi out from the vents on to the roof of the restaurant. "Now then, you two are going to go flying again. And don't come back!" Meta-Knight kicked them in to the air, pulled out his sword, "Tornado slash!" Meta-Knight swung his sword and sent a tornado flying toward the two heavy eaters and sent them flying through the air reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally far.
"PYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!"
Meanwhile…
"It is now Ness' team's second to last inning, with Ness' team leading with 5 runs to Pokey's team's 4 runs."
"Let's try to see them hit this." Pokey said as he watched Pichu drag his bat up to the plate. The pitcher reeled back and threw the ball.
"Piiiiiiichu…" Pichu had to struggle to lift the bat high enough to hit the ball, but he finally raised it high enough just in time to tap the ball and have it roll gently in front of him. "Pichu!" Pichu then ran like all get out toward first base.
"Throw it throw it throw it!!!" Pokey shouted. Too late, Pichu made it to first base.
A short time later…
"Wow! The Ice climbers both hit home runs and made three extra runs for the team. And Pikachu just now made it to first base."
"Darn it darn it darn it!" Pokey whined. However Pokey would get his wish to get his last bat since Y. Link struck out, Pit's ball was caught, and Luigi…
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! You can't-a make-a me bat against-a these guys-a!" Luigi cried.
"Fine, Jigglypuff, you go." Ness said. Jigglypuff struck out. "Darn it!"
"Pokey's team is now at bat!"
"Hmmmm… We're going to have to pass them in runs in this inning or it's all over." Pokey thought. Pokey then got an idea.
"We can win if we get them out!" Popo shouted as he and his sister walked toward the bases.
"Yeah! Nothing can stop us now!" Nana said. Pokey then pushed a button and some distant music started to play. "ICE CREAM!"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!" For some reason, Nana and Popo could not resist the sounds of the ice cream truck and abandoned the game.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! IT'S A TRAP!!!" Ness shouted.
"Hey! They're short players! They have to be disqualified!" Pokey shouted.
"What! They can't do that!" Zelda complained.
"Well, rules are rules." Ron Host said.
"You two! You need to volunteer right now!" Zelda shouted somewhat panicked.
"What! I'm not volunteering to replace members of a kid's team." Ganondorf argued back.
"I didn't even want to be here." Link whined. Thus the argument continued while Ness' time to find replacements was running thin.
"Are they disqualified yet?" Pokey asked.
"No not yet… 10, 9, 8…" Ron started counting.
"Oh no! Where are we going to find replacements?" Y. Link asked.
"Jiggly…" She sighed nervously.
"Oh Palutena, answer my prayers." Pit said praying.
"4…"
"Praying won't help!" Ness shouted. Then Yoshi and Kirby fell from the sky and face planted in to the field. "WE FOUND OUR REPLACEMENTS!!!" Ness shouted quickly.
"Wow, just in the nick of time." Ron Host said.
"What! They were out of time!" Pokey shouted at Ron.
"Not by my watch!" Ron Host said back to him.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Pokey shouted.
"Yoshi?"
"Pyo?"
Meanwhile…
"Yes, Snake would really like hearing that when you're coming up the gardens." Marth said in to his cell phone. "Alright, I'm sure he's looking forward to your visit tomorrow." Marth finished before hanging up snickering.
"Hey Marth." Snake said just walking in to the dining room.
"Oh hi Snake!" Marth said quickly. "Uh… well I've got to go." Marth said walking upstairs.
"Oh well…" Once Marth left. "Time to try my back-up hiding place." Snake said. He pulled out a cardboard box from under the table, sat it on top of the table, and climbed in from the top, he shut the lid once he squeezed himself in. Bowser and DK walk in a few seconds later.
"Hey… what's that package?" Bowser asked. He noticed that the box was labeled "To: Bowser" Bowser's eyes popped open with joy at seeing this. "Oh boy! A package for me! Wait a minute… DK, inspect the package." Bowser said.
"Okay…" DK ran over to the box, picked it up, and shook it violently. After he was done, DK handed to the package to Bowser and gave a thumbs-up.
"Eh… okay, you're excused." Bowser said.
"Ooooo!" DK then ran outside, and began scaling his way up to his room.
"Now I wonder what it is!" Bowser set the box down roughly and opened the top. Solid Snake then slowly rose up out of the box making a scowling face. "Uh…"
"So it was you who shook the box." Snake growled.
"No wait! I can explain!" Bowser said.
"Take this! Graaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" Snake lunged at Bowser and began beating the snot out of him.
POW
BOP
BIM
BANG
BIFF
BAM
BOOM
KONK
THUNK
CLANG
Meanwhile…
"Sheesh, what happened to you C. Falcon?" Samus asked while staring at C. Falcon, who had smoke coming from his body.
"Don't ask." C. Falcon said as he took a seat. "So who's winning?"
"They're both going to have one more contest to settle the winner." Peach said.
"And the audience decides what it is." Samus added.
Finally, the ref came away from the audience. "Alright! The audience agrees! We're going to have… a DANCE OFF!"
"Okay!" Wario and Mario agreed. The ref pulled out a boom box and two dance mats.
"You can start when the music starts." The ref pushed play.
The music started. "She says she's no good, at words but I'm worse…" Mario and Wario started bopping to the music and they slowly started mixing steps to the left, right, and all over the mat until… "Dance Dance! We're falling apart to half time! Dance Dance! These are the lives we'd love to lead! Dance! This is the way…" Mario got on his hands and started spinning around before getting lower and started swinging his legs around before ending in a head spin before resuming traditional dance steps. Wario was doing somersaults, back-flips, front-flips, and even more head spins. "Dance Dance! We're falling apart to half time!" both ended it with a high jump in to the air while doing back flips. "Dance Dance! Dance Dance! Dance Dance! Dance Dance!" Both landed perfectly and struck a dramatic pose.
"Woohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Everyone cheered.
"But who wins?" C. Falcon asked.
"And the winner is… WARIO!!!" The ref shouted.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!" Everyone shouted.
"NO! Ooooohhh…" Peach fainted at hearing this.
"Oh great…" Samus sighed.
"Wah ha! I win!" Wario shouted.
"Well, I-a am a man of-a my word-a. Go ahead-a…" Mario said. Wario pulled out a high powered electric shaver, turned it on. Wario pressed it against Mario's mustache and…
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTT
Sparks went flying and the razor started to shatter while Mario's mustache stayed perfectly in place. "What!" Wario gasped.
"Oh… well-a that-a explains why I-a never shaved-a this thing…" Mario said.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Wario shouted Darth-Vader style.
Meanwhile…
"Pokey's team now has six runs to Ness' teams seven runs, and with no outs! If Ness' team doesn't get them out soon, another inning will have to play. Pokey's team has all the bases loaded. Only Ness' fielders can decide the outcome of this.
"We can do it guys! Come on!" Ness encouraged. Ness pitched the ball, the batter hit it and sent it flying toward the outfield.
"Ha! Catch that!" Pokey taunted from his position on third base as he began to run. Before it even reached the outfield though, Kirby inhaled from somewhere next to second base and the ball went in to his mouth before he spit it back out on to his glove.
"Out!" Ron Host called.
"Aw man." Pokey said as he scrambled back to third base in time. The next batter's swing nearly went out of the field. But Yoshi jumped and used his tongue to catch it.
"Out!" Ron Host called.
"You better not get out!" Pokey called to the next batter. The batter hit the pitch and it went flying toward Luigi's position.
"Oh no! I don't-a think I can-a catch it… ooooohhh…" Luigi passed out from his nervousness with the open part of his glove facing up. The ball then landed perfectly in the mitt.
"Out! Ness' team wins!"
"What!" Pokey shouted. "Curse you Ness!" Pokey shouted.
"Yes! Way to go Y. Link!" Zelda cheered.
"But the author didn't describe anything he did." Link pointed out.
"Seriously." Ganondorf added.
"Shush! He's making the readers assume what has been going on." Zelda hissed.
"Oops…" They both said.
Later that night…
"Fox!!!"
"Falco!!!" The two of them were still firing lasers at each other across the hallway. Thankfully, everyone made it to their rooms safely. Well, almost everyone.
Bowser groaned as he collapsed in to his room. In case you're curious, his room has a gigantic bed, a television, and his black wall was covered with posters of him. The floor was black as well. "Ooooooohhhhh… where was Mewtwo when I needed him?"
Meanwhile…
"Meep…"
"Vhat! You spent a whole day trying to say cat and you still can't say it?"
"Meep… c… cat… cat! CAT!" Mewtwo screamed with a voice that sounded like a little boy on helium.
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"So you're saying I was so delirious that I was complimenting, you, Bowser, Playstation, and Xbox?" I ask.
"Yes." Ron Host said.
"Ron, don't be ridiculous."
"Huh? But… but…"
"Oh well, sorry for the wait guys, I was having trouble thinking about how to make this chapter funny, AND I recently got a Wii and have been playing Twilight Princess." I suddenly say to the audience. "Oh, and you guys might want to check my profile for some stuff regarding the website."
"Wait… you got a Wii? I want to play!"
"No way! I'm not sharing!"
"But…"
"No more buts for you!" I then slam Ron Host over the head.
"Glad to have you back Nintendogeek01…" Ron groaned.