"Shhhh!"
"What?!"
"You're parents will hear us!" you whisper scandalised
"Oh Ernst you needn't let a little thing like that bother you-"
You bite your lip, trying not to giggle, "oh yes, I'm sure that would go down well, hello Mr Rillow, Mrs Rillow I was just accompanying your son home to-"
"Study?" I tease, putting on my father's brash abrasive voice "You bloody boys spend too much time together!" you start to laugh, mimicking the high, anxious voice of your own father:
"Why are you always in the bedroom with the door locked?"
I put on your soft stutter, "n-n-nothing father, just ummm top secret…Sunday school exercises" (one of your more ridiculous excuses,)
"Wait, I don't really sound like that do I?"
"Come on!" I tease, pulling you further down the dark corridor leading to the servant's staircase we can use to creep up to my bedroom, you stumble and I trip and we both burst out laughing.
I grab you by your tie, pulling you towards me and pressing our lips together,
"Oh god-"
"Shhhh" Its my turn to be cautious now, as I slowly inch the door closed behind us, leaving us alone in my bedroom, your face is inches from my own,
"I love you"
"I love you too"
SPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENINGSPRINGAWAKENING
Midnight, and your pale skin is lit vivid by the lightening, you lie there breathing softly like a patient under ether. I write this by the light of a single candle, nearly at its end. The melted wax swells at the rim, ready to dribble down and burn my fingers. I don't know why I lit so many candles in the first place when I knew yours was the only one I'd keep alight.
As I sit on the seat by the window I pull the curtain slightly, a sudden shift in the moonlight draws my eye to your shadow on my bare wall. What would they say if they knew? It's so dark I can just make out the edge of the trees against the night sky. It's a strange colour blue, unlike anything I can put into words. And that's not like me. It almost matches the very centre of the brief candle, the colour of the flame.
Another four hours drifted away with you today, under the shadow of a willow tree.
I reach across to the bed and brush away the tousled dark hair that's fallen across your forehead, you're skin is cool to the touch. Our old house, usually so silent, creaks from deep within; the foreboding sense of an oncoming storm.
As I get up my shadow moves to match yours, you turn over in your sleep and snuggle into my chest as I climb back into bed. The rosy light of the single candle throws everything into a soft glow. I think this is the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.