Chapter 4

Author's Note: Warning! This chapter is a very lemony lemon! Don't read it if you shouldn't.

Oh yeah – and I don't own Twilight, Edward, Bella, or the rest of them. That privilege belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Although Edward can own me if he wants to.


BPOV

I had refused to speak to anyone after they told me. I had listened as they all explained what had happened; as Carlisle explained what I had become. I knew I was being very rude when I merely nodded, stood up, and walked at a human pace back to the bedroom and locked myself in. I figured that the door really wouldn't keep them out, but they seemed to understand that I just needed to be alone.

So I sat still as a statue in the middle of the bed staring at my reflection and determinedly ignoring my scorching thirst. It was quickly becoming nearly unbearable and I wondered vaguely if a vampire could starve to death. Vampire. I shuddered at the thought. I could hear them all throughout the house: shifting their weight, pacing back and forth, watching a Mariners game on TV…Vampires liked baseball? Which one of these was Edward?

Edward…He had tried to kill me. Not out of hatred, but out of bloodlust. Carlisle had explained to me that his family was "vegetarians" and that they didn't drink human blood, but that it was a constant exercise in self-control. Edward had merely lost control. He made it sound so simple – so matter of fact. I was torn – I wanted to hate him for what he had done, and at the same time, I didn't want to believe that this man that I had believed to be pure perfection in the first moment that I saw him could be such a vicious killer. I wanted to despise him for having taken advantage of me like that, but mostly I just felt embarrassed at what an idiot I had been. I had been a little trusting lamb – content to be led mindlessly – not knowing to fear the lion that led her straight into his den. I don't think I could have stayed away from him even if I had wanted to. It was as if he had some sort of magnetic pull over me. I am such a stupid lamb.

Or was I the lion now? Would I want to feed on human blood? Would I want to kill my family and friends? Charlie, Renee, Mike, Jessica, Lauren…Well maybe I'd be okay with killing Lauren…

The soft knock on the door probably would have been inaudible to human ears. As if someone had merely placed their hand against the door. I sighed, figuring I couldn't hide from them forever. Someone would surely need access to their bedroom at some point. I turned to the door.

"Come in."

The door opened and Edward shuffled in. He was looking at his feet, clearly concerned that I would just throw him back out. From what Carlisle had told me about my strength as a newborn vampire, I could have without breaking the proverbial, if only hypothetical, sweat. Even through my apprehension at my current confusion with him, I couldn't help but admire his beauty. He was truly magnificent. His bronze hair was an untidy mess and I wanted so badly to run my hand through it. His body, though tall and lanky, was decidedly muscular. But his face – that was where his perfection was most evident. His features were soft, but strong and markedly handsome. He was a statue of a Greek god come to life.

"Bella," the deep, rich tones of his voice were exquisite. "Bella, I'm so sorry." He looked up then and I was instantly lost in his eyes. They were gold – deep pools of liquid butterscotch. I racked my brain squinting through my dim human memories until I found the one I was looking for. The comparison between the Edward of my human memory and this Edward was startling. I knew my human memories were fallible, but I could have sworn his eyes had been black. He took a tentative step towards me and reached out to stroke the back of his hand against my cheek. Lust shot through me like wildfire and I staggered backwards from the shock of it.

"Please don't hate me." He took another step towards me and fell down on his knees taking my hands in his own. "I don't think I could stand it if you hated me." He turned those eyes on me again and that was all it took. I was on my own knees in front of him and had pressed my lips to his fervently. His eyes widened with shock, but it wasn't even a full second before he was kissing me back, his tongue seeking purchase against my lips, which I parted eagerly to allow him passage. His tongue massaged mine firmly, but gently. His hands crept up my back into my hair. He grabbed a handful and tugged my head back, giving him access to my throat and kissed his way down my jaw to the fine crescent shaped scars on my neck where my pulse would have been. He traced him with his tongue, sending shivers down my spine and coaxing a moan from my throat.

I pulled his face back up to my own greedily meeting his lips as my hands roamed over his shoulders and across his chest…I could feel his muscles ripple and tighten under the cotton of his shirt as my fingers grazed his stomach. When they reached the bottom of his shirt, they grabbed hold and yanked it upwards over his head. Tossing his shirt aside, I allowed my hands to begin their descent again – this time trailing my lips behind them. He gasped loudly and grabbed my head to stop me as I ran my tongue seductively over the skin between his navel and the waistband of his jeans. I just shook my head; I wasn't stopping. I pushed him backward onto the floor, but he propped himself up on his elbows to watch me as I peppered kisses over his stomach and chest while my hands deftly unfastened the button on his jeans. His unneeded breath was jagged now and I was definitely on a power trip for having the ability to do this to him.

I knew that my behavior was out of character; as a human I was extremely self conscious. In the back of my head, which had so much extra room to think, I was attributing my brazen behavior to suddenly finding myself to be non-human. I didn't really care. I figured since he had changed me, perhaps I could change in other ways as well. And besides, I was enjoying myself.

I locked my eyes with his as I dragged down the zipper of his jeans. His eyes widen and his breath caught when I slipped my tongue between his skin and the waistband of his boxer briefs.

"Bella," he moaned, "I can't…we can't…I've never…" Understanding washed over me and I wanted to laugh with relief. He was a virgin. I didn't stop touching him, but slowly moved my kisses back up his stomach and chest and nuzzled my body against the length of his, nuzzling the skin just below his earlobe.

"Me either," I breathed against him, "Shall we learn together?" He let out another low moan and without warning rolled us so that he was now pressed down on me.

He ground his hips against me as he sucked and licked on my collarbone, his hands moved slowly from my hips - up my sides, over the fabric of my shirt that concealed my breasts - to hold my face between them. He kissed my lips softly, "You do things to me that I don't understand." He pulled my shirt then, tearing it right down the center and sat up to stare unabashedly at my nearly naked chest. I was panting now with desire and if my heart would have been pounding out a frantic rhythm if it could have. He reached out tentatively to stroke a single finger along the lace at the top of my bra. I stopped breathing.

He grinned at me then and moved to replace his finger with his lips. He cupped the underside of both my breasts and pushed them slightly together to accentuate my cleavage, and dipped his tongue between them. I squirmed around and reached behind myself awkwardly, fumbling with the clasp. I growled slightly with frustration before just ripping it apart and shrugging it down my shoulders to bare my chest to him. I didn't stop there though; our impromptu make-out session had awoken desires within me that I had never known could be so powerful. I wanted him inside of me nearly as much as I had wanted him to notice me before. Edward…Edward…Edward! My body was screaming for him. Please just take me. Make me yours. I want you. I need you. Forever!

I sat up and switched our positions again, moving my body in between his legs, and tugged his jeans down and off of him. I grabbed the waistband of his jeans to follow suit. I noticed the panic in his eyes, and merely smiled reassuringly before sliding them off and tossing them away to join his jeans in a pile across the room. His manhood sprang up to stand proudly at attention, at the same time that he lowered his eyes from mine. He bit his lip, and I could swear that he would have blushed had he been able. I stood up then, and waited until he looked back up at me before hooking my thumbs in my own jeans and sliding them, and my panties with them, to my ankles. I kicked them across the room, smiling bashfully as his eyes raked over my now naked body.

He was on his feet in a flash, arms around me with our lips and bodies pressed together in absolutely delicious ways. I ran my fingers lightly down his back and reached between us to grasp his manhood. He gasped as I held on firm, walking backwards toward the bed, trailing him with me. When my legs hit the bed, I let him go as I scooted onto the bed, laying back against the pillows. Now it was my turn to feel self conscious as he watched me, not moving.

"Beautiful," he said so low he was nearly inaudible, even with vampire hearing. He began to crawl across the bed to me and my legs opened slightly of their own accord. I was soaking wet and aching for him. He didn't stop until he was completely over me and I could feel his manhood pressed against my center. My nipples hardened as he pressed our bodies tightly together and guided himself to my opening.

"Are you sure?" I didn't answer and instead, using my vampire strength, rolled us over so that I was on top and lowered myself swiftly onto him all in one motion.

He felt incredible inside of me. He fit perfectly, entirely, and I had never felt so complete in my life. For a full minute I didn't move. I only stared into his intense eyes with a small smile on my face. Then, as if the connection between our bodies had connected our minds as well, we both began to move together at the same time. I ground against him as he thrusted into me. I was leaning backwards with my hands on his thighs and he was reaching up and massaging my breasts tenderly, his thumbs flicking back and forth over my nipples.

I knew my climax was coming quickly and I fell forward, pushing my lips greedily to his. He responded in kind, his tongue pushing forcefully into my mouth as he thrust into me harder. I broke this kiss then, my head falling to the side, gasping out his name as my entirely being exploded in a fire completely the opposite of the one that had ravished me before. This fire was nothing but the purest kind of pleasure I had ever felt.

He thrust up into me one last time and moaned. "Bella!" And then he was still. My body lay limply across his as we both struggled to control our breathing. I don't know how much time passed with us laying like that, with him still inside of me, before I looked up to see him grinning at me.

"Does this mean you don't hate me?" He asked. I laughed and shook my head.

"I tried," I admitted, snuggling back against him, "but I couldn't do it. I just…never stood a chance."

Additional Author's Note: This was my first lemon, so if it was really awful, let me know in no uncertain terms how I can improve it because so far I've told everything from both Edward and Bella's POV and Edward wants some representation in the next chapter.