A/N: Alright my readers, you wanted to Edward's explanation, here it is. Some of you could probably guess what it is, but if not, you'll read it here. Though, I must say I was a little disappointed from the lack of response from my last chapter. I thought you guys would have thoroughly enjoyed it, I did. But, oh well, we'll see how you guys like this one. I will warn you, there is some mild smut in this chapter, this will be also minor blood-play, but it is essential to Edward's explanation, and it is my first time writing such things, so bare with me here. again, I added in some new details here and there. My Beta Fate Lowe is one awesome individual!

Sorry about the long wait here people, I was in Washington State over the weekend, and was not able to get to a computer. AND, do you want to know where I went......hmmmm....that's right my lovely readers, I drove to FORKS!!!!!!! And they weren't kidding about it always raining there. Have any questions, feel free to review, and I will get back to each and every one of you!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, and the murderous side of Bella's personality!!

I ran into town, not caring where my feet were taking me; I only wanted to get away from everything at this exact moment.

'I can't believe he had the nerve to plead with me,' I thought angrily.

Slowing my pace to a casual "human" one, I scanned the area for a bar and located one not more than twenty feet from me. I opened the door and walked in, with my head hung low as to avoid any gawkers. Humans usually didn't like to be stared at by an unnaturally beautiful woman with black eyes. I carefully scanned the bar, only peaking up every now and then, and noticed a rather built young man sitting in the far corner of the bar, with his head hung over his drink. I took careful mental notes watching him nurse his drink, first noticing it was a clear liquid with ice and a lemon wedge, then the fact that he was sipping it through a straw. It had to have been water, and my mouth began to salivate.

'Hmmmm....lunch!' I thought as I made my way over, but stopped as I walked by a mirror and saw my reflection.

'Shit, my eyes are still black, need to change that.'

Turning my body back to the human male, I noticed he had food now laying in front of him, and he had already begun to dig in. Thinking that I should give him few moments to finish his meal, I retired myself to the ladies bathroom to gather my strength. Upon walking in, I noticed several females standing over a few of the sinks, checking their make-up and washing their hands. Wanting to seem as "human" as possible at this moment, I quickly made my way over to an empty sink and washed my hands, only glancing once to see my reflection. I heard their giggling die with the soft clicking of the bathroom door, so I shut off the water. I pulled some paper towels out of the dispenser and dried my hands.

I walked back over to the sink running my hands through my hair, before setting then down on the counter-top. I thought about how I looked at this precise moment and realized that anyone who saw the bandages on my wrists would think I was in fact a head case. I stared at the bandage on my left wrist and carefully pealed it back. All that was left was a shiny pink patch of skin that was now in place of the gaping wound that had once been there. I decided that I could take a chance with what it looked like and carefully unwound the bandage. After tossing it in the trash, I peeled the bandage on my right wrist back and noticed that this one had not healed quite as quickly.

'I guess I could pass it off as a tattoo, or something,' I thought and went back to the task at hand. Food.

I closed my eyes and lowered my head as I placed my hands palm down on the counter-top. Taking in slow deep breaths, I concentrated on willing myself into a stillness that only the undead can do. Once I felt my body fall into that stillness, I began to feel my hunger fade to a dull ache and my body temperature rise slightly. Still aware of my surroundings, I heard the bathroom door open, but kept my eyes closed and my head down. The stench of alcohol hit my nose and I had to control myself from recoiling from it. This woman had far too much to drink this evening, and it was truly sickening to smell it on her.

"Are you ok sugar?" a rather hoarse voice asked. I only nodded my head.

"Are you sure?" it asked again, and I felt a hand rest upon my shoulder. I opened my eyes and slowly raised my head to peak at myself in the mirror through my lashes.

'Good, brown is good,' I thought as I noticed the slight flush of pink that now covered my cheeks. Most humans had a slight pink flush totheir skin, and over the years I had learned how to pull my blood to my skin's surface to mock the color.

I looked at the woman in the mirror and said, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for asking." I stood up and ran my hands through my hair again as she stepped back with her mouth opened slightly.

I turned to her and asked, "Are you ok?"

She closed her mouth and nodded quickly. I stepped around her and made my way back to the door, only turning around to look at her one last time before I opened the door with a smirk on my face and walked out.

'Humans are too easy.'

I saw the human male still sitting in the same seat as before, but saw that his food had been cleared away and his water had been replenished. Either he wasn't that hungry, or he was a fast eater, didn't matter, I was only planning on snacking anyways. Humans tasted funny after they ate, that's why I usually tried to nab them as they were walking intoa bar, and not after.

His head was once again hung over his drink as I approached him. I stopped less than a foot away and asked, "Mind if I join you?" adding a soft smile to my face as he looked up from his water. His eyes widened as he took in my appearance. He stared at me for a minute before nodding his head quickly.

"Please," he croaked before taking a long pull from the glass in front of him.

I sat down gracefully and studied his face. Brown eyes, curly brown hair, a small clef in his chin, all around, not a bad looking human. Actually he sort of reminded me of Emmett, but an alive version of him, except that he wasn't nearly the size of Emmett, just some similar facial features.

"I'm Bella," I said softly.

"Ben," he whispered still staring at me. He looked awestruck, and it was actually kind of cute, but in a annoying way.

He blinked and cleared his throat. "Umm, I don't mean to be rude but, why did you want to join me?" His voice was a nice baritone, but sounded flat.

'Because you are the only one in here worth eating,' I thought.

I shrugged my shoulders, "You looked down and lonely, just thought I would come over to say hi. I could leave if you wanted me to." I made sure to turn my body away so it looked like I was getting up.

I felt his hand on my right forearm. "No, I...was just surprised, that's all," he said removing his hand.

I turned back to him. "It's not everyday a beautiful woman asks to sit with you," he said grinning sheepishly. I knew I had him then.

"And what if this beautiful woman asked you to go for a walk?" I asked. He coughed a little and took another sip from his water.

"Uh, yeah.....ok, yeah!" he said straightening up a bit smoothing some nonexistent wrinkles out of this shirt front. I moved to stand and watched as he stood up and tossed some money on the table.

I extended my right arm and asked, "Shall we?"

He hesitantly took my hand and I proceeded to exit the bar. My strength was beginning to wane, and I needed to feed.

"What's that?" he asked pointing with his free hand to the bandage on my wrist.

"New tattoo," I said nonchalantly.

"Oh, cool."

'Sucker.'

We stepped out into the cool night and I quickly pulled him along.

"Uh, where are we going?" he asked.

"Just around the block," I said casually.

As soon as we rounded the corner, I scanned the area for any signs of life.

'All clear, operation Feed Bella, can now commence,' I thought with a smirk as I stopped and looked at him.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," I breathed as I stepped closer to him and inhaled, closing my eyes in the process. He stiffened as I did this, and dropped my hand. I felt my mouth start to water as I breathed him in. His blood smelled different, clean, pure, innocent. I wasn't sure I could stop myself from snacking on him, he just smelled, too damn good.

"Bella, are you alright?" he asked tilting his head to the side and placing both hands on my shoulders.

"Mmhhmm," I mumbled stepping even closer to him. I opened my eyes and saw the jugular vein in the side of his (neck) straining slightly. I could hear his heart beating faster, and his breathing had become slightly erratic. My strength to hold my vampiric nature at bay was officially gone if Ben here was reacting like this, and I realized I didn't care.

'Fuck, I'm hungry!'

I licked my lips as I watched Ben swallow convulsively. I started raising my hand to the back of his neck when I heard someone growling behind me. I ignored them and continued until my hand grasped the back of Ben's head and tilited it slightly to the left. The growling grew louder as I reached up and placed a soft kiss to the pulse on Ben's neck. I felt his body relax against me as I parted my lips against his skin and sucked it in. I was so lost in the taste of his skin, that I didn't even realize it when he was suddenly pulled from me.

I blinked at the wall in front of me, which was now void of my snack.

'You have got to be kidding me?' I thought in frustration.

I turned around to find Ben nowherein sight, but found Edward there instead.

"Seriously?" I asked.

"Bella, we need to talk."

"Fuck talking. I'm hungry, and since you have robbed me of my snack, I need to go find another one," I said walking around him, but he caught my arm and slammed me against the wall causing the brick and mortar to crack slightly. He closed the gap in mere nanoseconds and placed both arms against the wall, one on either side of my head. I glared at him as he stared down at me.

"Bella, we need to talk," Edward said again.

"Yeah, heard that. Not interested in talking on an empty stomach," I said.

"You want blood? Fine," he said ripping at the collar of his shirt. The cloth peeled away to reveal more of Edward's body than I had ever seen, and my body reacted to it. The smooth hardness of his chest made my mouth water even more than Ben's scent did. The swell of his pecs as they rose and fell with each breath that he took had me completely captivated. Each ripple of his abs made things low in my body tighten even more.

'Umm....umm.......Uhhh?'

I tore my gaze away from the delicious flesh in front of me and looked up to see that Edward was smirking at me.

That kinda pissed me off.

"What now? Vampire blood won't sate my hunger," I snapped.

"No?" he asked moving closer, forcing me against the wall harder. "No" I breathed, because that was all my mind could come up withat this very second. He closed the gap between us and pressed every inch of his body into mine.

"There are other hungers, Bella," Edward said in a voice so husky, my lower body clenched in anticipation.

'Fuck, what is this?'

The feeling of his chest against mine made my nipples harden instantly and I felt his chest rumble in soft laughter. I glared up at him again and moved my hands between our bodies to push him away from me, but as soon as my hands touched the smooth hardness of his chest, electricity sang through my system and my breathing hitched.

When I looked up at him, I found his eyes boring into mine with an intensity I had never seen before and I was officially done trying to move away. He bent his head down as I angled mine toward his. My gaze flicked to his lips then back into his eyes, and I licked my lips. Edward's eyes followed the movement, I felt his hand weave through my hair, moving my head closer to his. His lips hovered over mine, and I felt his breath wash over me as he whispered, "Bella," then he gently pressed his lips to mine. Our lips moved slowly at first against one another, hesitantly. His lips were still just as full, soft and kissable as I remembered, and when he drew my lower lip in between his and swept his tongue across it, my walls crashed and I fell against his body. My hands moved slowly up his chest and encircled his neck as my lips drank in his taste.

'Oh God, help me!'

Edward pulled back slightly and whispered against my lips, "He's not here, I am," and pressed his lips to mine once more.

My lips became frantic against his as I clutched at his neck. His tongue swept my bottom lip once more and I moaned against him, parting my lips. Edward took the opportunity and dove in. His tongue met mine in a sensual dance, slow, as if he were savoring my taste. It was soft against mine and I moaned once more from the feeling of it. We had never kissed this way before, and I felt myself drunk from the sweet taste of his mouth, and his body pressing mine into the wall behind me. I felt his other arm snake around my waist and lift me slightly; so I took the opportunity and wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel the hardness of his body pressing into mine and it made me cry out, ripping my lips from his. We stared at each other for a handful of seconds before I looked down at his neck and licked my lips.

"Do it, " Edward said panting.

I hesitated at first looking from his neck to his eyes. They still held the same intensity, but suddenly I was unsure if I should did this. This was said to be an intimate act between mates of our kind, and Edward and I had never really been intimate with one another. Except for maybe ten seconds ago, and I was confused as to if we should be this way now. There was still too much that needed to be explained and worked through, and I wasn't sure if we were ready for this. Even though it felt natural to kiss him again, and be around him, there was still that tear in my heart that he had put there when he left. I wasn't about to let that hole get torn open again, not after everything I had been through, and everything Jasper had taught me.

Feeling my walls build back up, I shook my head. "I can't do this," I whispered dropping my hands away from his neck and letting them fall to my sides.

"Dammit Bella. Don't pull away from me. If you want to know what happened and what I felt then you'll do this."

I shook my head again. "It doesn't work that way. I can't get your memories Edward. Our blood reacts differently to our kind. I will only be able to recieve your abilities, nothing more."

"Only if I will them to you through my blood, that's how Aro was able to get yours. You willed him your power through your blood; the same can be done with memories," Edward said as he stared intently in my eyes. They were pleading with me to believe him.

"Ok," was all I said as I moved my arms once more around his neck and decended my lips to his skin..

At first contact, my lips stung. That same electricity was dancing between my lips and his skin. I parted my lips slightly against his neck and slowly licked the vein that was just below the surface. I felt Edward's arms tighten around my waist, letting a groan escape him. The taste of his skin was sinful to say the least and my mouth locked onto his neck pulling the skin in and sucking slightly. His grasp tightened even more at this and I grazed my teeth gently along the skin, licking his neck twice more before I bit down.

"Oh God," Edward moaned.

I pulled back slightly and whispered, "He's not here, I am," before moving back in and biting down hard.

Edward hissed as my teeth pierced his skin and at the first rush of his blood I moaned low in my throat. Each pull from my mouth brought more and more of Edward's blood into me, and after the third, his memories stared to surface behind my eyelids. The first thing I saw was the last day we had been together and at that I pulled back, letting his blood spill slightly out of my mouth before swallowing the last gulp. I felt my head hang back as my arms loosened slightly and then I felt my body starting to fall.

It was as if I was falling through clouds, soft and touchable, and each cloud I fell through held a different memory. The first of course had been the last day we had been together, but what was new was that I was seeing what happened after he had walked away. He raced off into the woods as soon as he cleared the tree line that lined the meadow, and after about five hundred yards he stopped.

EDWARD'S FIRST MEMORY

"You guys can come out now, she won't be able to hear you," Edward said bowing his head.

Two figures appeared from behind two trees and stepped forward as Edward lifted his head. There stood Jasper and Jacob.

"Why?" Jasper asked.

"What I am about to tell you can not be repeated to another being, alive or dead," Edward said looking at both men.

"Ok," Jasper and Jacob said in unison.

"No, promise me."

"I promise," Jasper said.

Edward looked at Jacob next. "Yeah, I promise, but you need to know, that what you are doing is going to destroy her," Jacob said crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know that mutt. But if I don't, I'll kill her, and we all know that's the last thing I want to do."

Edward sighed and leaned against the nearest tree. His face clearly showing signs of sadness.

"I found out recently that I have gained a new ability."

Jasper's eyebrows rose at Edward's comment. "And?" Jasper asked.

"I can erase people's memories," Edward said flatly.

"That's great! Erase Bella's memory of you, and then she and I can be together," Jacob said in excited tones.

"It's not that simple," Edward said.

"How so?" Jasper asked.

"You know I have never been capable of reading Bella's thoughts; I cannot breech her mind to do it. And I have tried with Fido here, but he seems immune to it. I also tried with Charlie once, but it didn't seem to work on him either. The only person that I was successful with, was Victoria."

"First off, I resent the Fido comment. Second, what the hell does that mean exactly?" Jacob asked.

"It means--" Edward started, but Jasper beat him to it. "It means, that he can only erase a vampire's mind, not a human's and obviously not a werevolves." Edward nodded at Jasper's statement.

"Ok, so where are you going with this?" Jacob asked.

Edward sighed again, and Jasper sent out a wave of calm towards him, and Edward visibly relaxed.

"Thanks. About a month after Bella's accident in Phoenix, Alice got a vision, a rather disturbing but fascinating one. In her vision, she saw a flash of what Bella would look like if she were to become one of us, and what her potential powers might be and there are several. One would be that she is a shield, which would make sense as to why I cannot read her thoughts. Another one, would be that she could combine her ability as a shield with another, by a simple touch, but that through that touch, she can gain the others' ability as well if she wants to. And lastly, and this is the one that scares me the most, is that she will gain the ability to practically shut off her basic vampiric nature, meaning she could shut down her blood lust and almost look human," Edward said.

"Whydoes that last one scare you?" Jasper asked.

"Because, that's all I have ever wanted, especially when it comes to Bella. And think of it this way, if this information were to ever fall into the Volturi's hands, Bella would be killed or worse, and that's not something I want. Aro would change her in a heartbeat if he knew that Bella could wield such power. She would be his ultimate weapon," Edward replied.

"But you tasted her blood in Pheonix, and you didn't seem to change at all. Who's to say it would happen?" Jasper asked.

"First off, I don't think it would have, because her blood was filled will James' venom, and then after that, it was tainted with morphine. It needs to be pure, and if I were to taste her now, I don't think I could stop myself."

"Why's that?" Jacob asked.

"She's his singer; her blood calls to him. To Edward, her blood is the sweetest thing he would ever taste, and he doesn't think he would be able to stop himself if he were to lose control. Think of Bella's blood as heroine, and it's Edward's exact brand. That's how we lost Emmett. He killed his singer, and then disappeared. We haven't seen him in quite some time now," Jasper answered.

"Oh," Jacob said unfolding his arms and sitting down on the ground. "So what do you want from us?"

Edward sank to the ground against the tree and looked at both Jasper and Jacob, despair was clearly shown.

"You need to promise me to take care of Bella while I am gone. When she does happen to be changed, and truthfully, it better be by someone she knows," looking at Jasper when he said this, "that you guys will protect her with your lives. Meaning, if the Volturi do catch wind of this, that you guys will move her to a safe location. I don't care how many times it takes, just keep her safe. And if she is changed, I will come back and explain everything to her. You two need to promise to me that you will never tell her of this."

Jasper and Jacob looked at each for a handful of seconds and then said, "I promise."

"Good, then Jacob, make sure Sam is the one that finds Bella," Edward said standing up, dusting off the back of this jeans.

"Why?" Jacob whined.

"Just do it," Edward growled.

"Fine," Jacob said getting up and walking off.

After Edward was sure Jacob was gone he turned to Jasper with a sad smile upon his face.

"What about me?" Jasper asked.

"You are going to show her that it's ok to love again. Give her time, but be there for her as a best friend. You will most likely be the one to change her, though I am not all that thrilled about the idea, but Alice will be there to help you."

"Speaking of Alice, where does she stand in all this?" Jasper asked.

"I have already taken care of that and wiped out any possibility to see that ever again. She will never know of Bella's powers, and you will never tell her either."

Edward started to walk away leaving Jasper behind.

"I know this is killing you, what you're doing. I can feel it Edward, the pain you are going through right now, it's terrible. How can you stand it?" Jasper asked.

"I have to," Edward said in a quiet voice as he started to walk away.

"Hey Edward?" Edward stopped and turned around.

"Are you sure you would kill her if you just had a taste? I mean, if her blood does hold the ability to shut off the blood lust and all that stuff, why wouldn't you be able to stop?"

"Because in the vision that Alice had of that, Bella doesn't want to me to." And with that Edward took off leaving Jasper behind.

A/N: So now, you know what happened that day in the meadow, if you want more of Edward's memories, I hate to say this, but I need some love here people. I need at least 7 reviews for this chapter. So, it's up to my readers if I should contiue or not.