Never Turn My Back On You

(Episodes 6 and 7, Happily Ever After/Not A Father's Day)

Barney stumbled over the doorstep of the karaoke bar, his flailing hand catching a railing before he could lose his footing completely. Boy, he was way more drunk than he'd realised! The cold night air wasn't enough to sober him up (it just made his lips tingle) so he smacked himself sharply across the face. He knew what he had to do tonight and there was no point running away from it any longer.

His destination was a bar in the Bronx, only a block away from the Karaoke place. Normally Barney wouldn't have been caught dead pounding the streets in that neighbourhood at this time of night but tonight… Tonight was special.

Even though he only visited the place once a year, Barney nodded at the familiar faces and pushed straight through the crowd to the small, grimy-looking bar. He sat down next to a guy dressed in dockers and a cheap shirt. The man turn towards him and gave him a lopsided smile which mirrored his own.

"Hey, Barney!" The guy said, raising his empty beer bottle in salute.

Barney nodded at the white-haired bartender.

"Hey," he said, "how's it going? Give us a couple'll beers, would ya, Cecil?" He passed both bottles over to the man sitting beside him, his tongue feeling thick in his mouth.

"You keeping well, son?" The man asked him and Barney frowned, shifting uncomfortably in his seat at the word. He sat quietly for a moment while he considered the inquiry.

"Hmm, well, I haven't been arrested yet this year," he drawled.

"Me neither," the man next to him muttered.

Barney turned towards him in surprise. "That new program working out okay for you?" He said with a grin.

The man shrugged, suddenly taciturn, and took a long swig of his beer. Barney tried not to stare at the faded prison tattoo on his forearm, or the slight hunch of his shoulders, or the way he held his beer. It was too much like looking in one of those distorted funhouse mirrors - so like looking at himself in thirty years and yet... not... At least, he very much hoped not.

"You found a girlfriend yet?" The man asked him.

Barney snorted. Why did this question always come up?

The man laughed. "I don't know how you do it. Successful young man like you, good job, good prospects... and you've managed to avoid being tied down. That's quite a talent."

Barney smirked. "Must be in the genes." He said, ironically.

The man nodded, his head falling forward a little. Considering the line of empties set up on the bar in front of him, it was pretty damned impressive that he hadn't passed out already.

"You wanna get a cab home?" Barney asked him, seeing the signs even thought his brain felt like someone had boiled it in alcohol.

"You payin'?"

Barney laughed and helped the man to his feet, out of the bar and into a passing cab.

"Say hi to Patty for me," the man said, falling onto the back seat.

Barney stood and watched the cab pull away, its engine coughing and spluttering. He pulled his coat tightly across his chest, one hand delving into his pocket, fingers finding the tiny baby's sock he'd found on the table at McLaren's. With one last sad smile he turned around and headed back towards the city.

*--*--*

Robin woke up with the phone still propped against her ear, the dial-tone having long ago been replaced by an irritating, low-pitched whine that had given her a headache. She had tried, really tried to call her Father. After all, there was the pretext of Christmas that she could use and he was always complaining that she and Katie never visited any more.

Well, he didn't complain exactly so much as make snide remarks in his Christmas cards.

Robin rolled her eyes, feeling angry again despite herself. As many times as she'd told herself that her Dad was in the wrong, she somehow felt weird sometimes that she didn't care enough about him to try and make amends. It was something that annoyed the hell out of Katie.

Her hand reached for the phone again and she drew it back, gritting her teeth.

Trouble is, Lily and Marshall, no matter how much they tried, were bound to screw with their kids lives just like every parent had since the dawn of time. So what was the point in it all? What the hell kind of Mom would she make, anyway?

So it was just something she didn't like to talk about because, when she did, people thought she was odd, a freak or just plain weird. All girls wanted babies, didn't they? That's what society dictated. Even most men wanted babies. Certainly Ted and Marshall would have them if science found a way for them to get an artificial womb.

So, anyway, if her Father could disown her, Robin could damn well disown him right back. That was it! He was no longer a Father in her eyes…

Robin laughed suddenly, placing the phone receiver back in its cradle and getting out of bed. She had an idea for a perfect Christmas present for her Father.

No, that was too cruel…

But the idea was enough to cheer her up.

She got out her phone and texted Barney: "Those 'Not A Father's Day' tshirts? Where can I get one?"