CHAPTER 6
Emily sat at the kitchen table drinking her coffee while she waited for her husband to come home. She was thankful the girls were at a friend's house for a sleepover. She had sat watching the news reports about the accident. The footage showed Hank and his crew in the heart of it. Years of being married to a firefighter taught her a lot about dealing with her husband after bad calls. He would be moody, loving, caring or sink himself into working on the lawn. She was never quite sure what his reaction would be.
In the years since joining Station 51 he and his crew had seen their share of tragedy. As she thought back through the years she remembered other calls. She remembered the injuries the crew had suffered and how Hank had suffered along with them.
Emily heard the truck pull up and quickly turned off the tv. She watched as Hank exited the truck and walked into the back yard. She noticed his defeated look, the sagging of his shoulders and the fact his head was lowered to the ground. He sat on the back porch with his head in his hands. She quickly made a cup of coffee for both of them and joined him. Something was different, something was wrong. Something beyond the call must be affecting his mood.
"Hank, honey, are you alright?" She handed him the coffee and sat next to him. Hank didn't reply but accepted the coffee. "If you want to talk, I'm here for you?"
Hank looked up into the caring eyes of his wife. They had been together for years. She knew him better than anyone else and until today he had always been able to confide in her. But today was different. Today he was filled with doubt. In a time of tragedy when his crew needed him, he had turned his back on his crew. The doubt continued. He had never thought he would do such a thing. Now looking at Emily he wondered if he was strong enough to stand by Emily if they were faced with a tragedy? "Not now dear. Em…please…not now."
51
Marco stood in front of his mother's home. He thought about all of the good things that had happened to him and his family through the years. It wasn't that they hadn't seen tragedy. The loss of his father and his cousin had been sudden and hurt them all a lot. But it was the strength of the family that always brought them through, a little stronger and able to see the good in the world.
As he walked into his mother's house he knew everything would be alright. He was immediately enveloped in a hug. Surrounded by the love of his mother he felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders. "Momma, I'm okay. I love you. I just need to lay down for a while. It was a long night. I just need a little sleep."
Momma Lopez couldn't say anything. She was afraid she would cry. She could see the pain on her beloved son's face. She needed to be there for him. She nodded her head and watched as he walked away without another word.
51
Chet Kelly had a similar experience at his own mother's home. He sat down and had a big breakfast with his mother. He wished his father were still around. His father had been a firefighter and had died in a fire. Chet knew he would have understood. His father was someone he had always been able to talk to when he needed help.
The only other person he knew he could call was his brother, Danny. He may not have been a firefighter but as a police officer he would understand. He had run on many similar calls. He would be able to talk with Danny and maybe together they would be able to make some sense of this horrible situation. He prayed this would help him.
The luck of the Irish was with him. Danny was off duty and would be able to meet him that afternoon. Chet went to shower and get ready. Danny was older than him and had looked out for him since his father died. He needed a little of that strength now.
His mother understood there were things her sons could not tell her. There were things she couldn't make better. She lit a candle and prayed Danny would be able to help her youngest son. They had all been through a lot since she lost her husband. Danny, Sr. was a proud man and often had shared firehouse stories with the boys. When Chet entered the service she wished her husband had shared some of the other stories. Chet didn't enter with his eyes closed. He understood what could happen. He understood the dangers first hand. But he wanted to make his father proud and he wanted to help people as his father had when he was alive.
51
Mike was considered to be the most stoic amongst the crew. He was soft spoken and mostly kept his nose in a book. He knew no one on the crew would believe it but he was a lot like Johnny in certain respects. He enjoyed life and being around people. He too had had a rough childhood which followed him into his adult years.
His father had been a strict disciplinarian and Mike learned early on how to avoid his father's wrath, avoid eye contact and do not be around as much as possible. He didn't want to be anything like his father when he grew up. He took great pride in making himself the success he was today despite his father. Butting head with his became common place as Mike had gotten older. No longer willing to sit back in fear of his father he started fighting against him. He choose a career his father completely disapproved of and as a result his father had disowned him. His mother was a meek women who believed she was to do as told by her husband. She hadn't spoken to her son since he was 22 years old and had entered the academy. He had no one but he figured in a way he never did.
He sat alone in his apartment and drank his coffee. Packing his bag, he headed to the beach. He loved surfing. It gave him a sense of freedom and peace. The crashing of the waves against the beach were soothing to his ears. The feel of the sand running through his toes always seemed to center and ground him. This was his way of becoming one with nature. With a smile on his face he headed to the beach.
51
Roy tried to get his emotions under control. When he arrived home he sought solace in his family. He was grateful to have a loving, happy, healthy family. He counted himself fortunate for his ability to come home to such a great family. When things got tough at work he would call Joanne and the kids. They always had a way of putting a smile on his face and dampen the hardships he had had to face.
Walking into the house he found his wife and kids in the kitchen. The sound of his son's laughter struck the first cord of his heart. The second was from the squeal of his daughter.
Joanne knew not to mention what she had seen on tv. That would be for a different time. A time when the children weren't around. Roy never spoke of such things in front of the kids. He thought they were too young to understand about the cruelty and injustice he saw in the world.
"Gooood morning!" The kids jumped for joy at hearing their father come home. Roy hugged his wife and kids and felt renewed.
"Do you want to get cleaned up before breakfast? I just put the biscuits in the over."
"Mommy let me help make the biscuits!" Jennifer was beaming with excitement.
"Mom watched her real close so it's safe to eat." Christopher rolled his eyes at his sister's accomplishment.
"Be nice Chris. Honey I think that's great. I can't wait to eat your biscuits. I'm going to clean up and I'll be right back down. What do you guys say to going to the zoo today?"
Chris and Jennifer started jumping up and down howling with joy. They had been wanting to go for a couple of weeks but their parents never seemed to have the time to take them.
"Joanne, I hope that doesn't mess up anything you had planned."
Joanne smiled as she looked over her shoulder. What was she going to say 'no we have other plans today'. That would break the kids hearts. It looked as if Roy needed this as much as the kids. "No, I didn't have anything planned for today that we can't do tomorrow."
Roy reached over and placed a kiss on her cheek. He was glad they were going. He wanted to create a special memory for his kids and himself. With their plans for the day made, he headed off to the shower. He reminded himself he should probably call the guys later to see how they are doing. But for now he needed to take care of himself and his family.
CHAPTER 7
Hank and Emily had sat on the porch for nearly an hour before the phone rang. Emily went to answer it while Hank continued to stair into the backyard. Hank hadn't said anything and she didn't want to upset him.
"Stanley residence." Emily watched Hank through the window. He didn't even seem to notice her absence.
"Hello Mrs. Stanley, may I speak to Hank?"
Emily recognized the Chief's voice. She wasn't sure what was going on but thought this might clear some things up for her. "Sure Pat, hold on just a minute while I get him."
"Emily," Chief McConnike stopped at the familiarity in her voice. "How's Hank doing this morning?"
"I wish I could tell you. He hasn't come in from outside. He just sits there and isn't saying anything. Pat, I've known you for years. How bad was it?"
Chief let out a sigh. "It was bad. As bad as it gets."
"Thanks Pat. I'll get Hank for you." The sound of Pat McConnike's voice spoke volumes.
Emily walked out onto the porch and tapped Hank on the shoulder. "Hank, Chief McConnike is on the phone for you."
Han startled at her touch. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he hadn't realixed he was still sitting on the porch. "Thank Em. I'll take it in the den." He got up and slowly made his way to the den. Emily listened until he picked up and then hung up the phone.
"Chief, good morning." He tried to sound normal but Pat McConnike had known him for too long. As his former Captain, McConnike and Hank's family had been close. Time and distance had caused them to separate.
"Off the record Hank, how are you doing this morning?"
"Sir…"
Before he could say anything else McConnike interrupted him. "Hank, it's Pat. Talk to me as your old friend."
"Pat…" Hank smiled at the old feelings that serviced. "I don't really know. I…keep thinking about the call and…how I reacted. Pat…you were always there for us. I wasn't there for them. I let them down."
"No, you didn't let them down. Do you remember about 10 years ago we ran a little one that drowned in the bath tub. We were all pretty shook up. You didn't react any different yesterday, than I did after that call. I closed myself up in the office and didn't speak to any of you until the next shift. You probably didn't even realize it because you were off doing something or another."
"I often think back to that call. I questioned everything from my abilities as a Captain to being a good husband and father. It was you that settled me down. It was about three shift later. I believe that is when you burned my hat. I was mad but not at you as much as with myself. I had taken out all of my anger on you for three shifts. You had finally had enough and struck back."
Chief chuckled at the memory. "God, you were angry. It was then that I realized you were my wake up call. I started to act like myself again. I don't think I ever thanked you for that. Maybe I should have before now. You are one hell of a Captain. I would hate for you to doubt yourself after this call."
"Thank you sir. I guess you really do know me. I think we are all going to be alright. Thanks to you. Bringing Dr. Brackett and Dixie last night opened up all of us. It got me out of the office and made me see my men, see what was happening to them. I think I am going to call the guys and have them over tomorrow. Make sure everyone is doing alright before we go back to work nest shift."
"Sounds like a good idea. Let me know if you need anything. You're a good man Hank. Take care of your family and your men."