Author's Note – Hey there guys. Long time no see. I've missed writing this so much and I've missed of you all too. Thank you so much to everyone for the get well messages. You are all so sweet.

I've had a hell of a few weeks. I spent my 21st birthday in the hospital. Which wasn't how I had planned on spending it but hey. I will be making up for that one when I've fully recovered.

So this update is a little shorter than normal. Manly because I changed the story layout slightly after a brain wave. And also because presently I can only type with one hand and typing this out took long enough. Haha. It's all good. But I really want to update this week as I'm back at uni as of next Monday.

This chapter is dedicated to my very own idea-sparring partner Mel and to all you wonderful readers out there.

Nobody's Fault but Mine

Chapter 19 – Bullet Proof....I Wish I Was

At the sound of the elevator's doors pinging open Lucas stepped out into the corridor clutching at Peyton's hand. His heart hammered and his mind dizzied. He scanned his eyes over the hospital's cardiac ward. Doctors, nurses and visitors milled around at an almost exaggerated speed. He caught sight of his brother and Nathan soon enveloped him into a hug.

"I'm so glad you came," Nathan offered feebly, he was clearly struggling to hold himself together.

Haley placed a hand on her husband's arm before turning her attentions to her best friend. "The doctors are in with Dan now," she told him in a soft hushed tone. "He arrested again."

With a nod of acknowledgement of what Haley had said Lucas sank down onto one of the waiting room's grey chairs. He was grateful to be sitting down as he didn't think his weak legs would hold him any longer.

"Did you know he was sick?" Lucas asked out loud.

Nathan shook his head. "No but I spoke to the prison guard who brought him in earlier. Dad's been complaining of pains in his chest for the past few days. They thought he was putting it on. He'd just got a new cell mate and they didn't get on too well. They thought he was complaining of being ill because of that." When Nathan had heard that news he had felt torn. Even though his father had done bad things in the past the thought that he wasn't being treated and cared for properly created a bad taste in his mouth.

Lucas frowned, he knew all too well from experience in the police force that Dan wouldn't get on too well in the prison system. Dan Scott back in his day he been a well to do business man and not a hardened criminal. He would have stuck out as being different from the outset.

After what seemed like an eternity of sitting restlessly and staring at the unmoving hands of the clock on the wall Dan's doctor approached them.

Lucas listened as the doctor relayed the state of their father's condition. Words like coma, degenerative heart condition and stable were the only ones that truly stuck in his dazed mind. Dan was unconscious they were told and all anyone could do now was to wait for him to wake up.

"Can we see him?" Haley had asked then.

"His condition is still weak," the man in the blue scrubs said. "It's just immediate family for now."

With the doctor's ok Nathan and Lucas moved to the side room where Dan was.

Lucas stood frozen to the spot as he took in the sight before him. From a very early age he had demonised Dan Scott. The man he had grown up seeing through his innocent eyes was so big, strong, volatile and cruel. The man that lay connected to the heart monitor and breathing equipment was almost unrecognisable to him. His face held an unhealthy tinge of grey in contrast to the stark white tape that held the tubes in place to his nose and mouth.

Lucas hadn't seen him in the last eight years and was taken aback at the shell of man his father was now. His frame was noticeably thinner and weathered, his hair was long, shaggy and striped with grey. Dan could only be described as unkempt rather than the image of power and sophistication he had always worked so hard to uphold.

-- --

Haley stared up once again at the hospital's clock. It was way past 3am and there was still no news on Dan. She tossed the dog eared magazine she'd thumbed through for the second time back on to the table in front of her.

"Hey," Peyton said as she sank back down beside her. She passed her a coffee and an assortment of candy bars. "I figured we could use the pick me up."

"Thanks," the petite blonde took a grateful gulp of the beverage.

"No problem."

Haley turned to her then. "No, I mean thank you for convincing Lucas to come. He's pretty closed off when it comes to his father. No one has ever been able to get through to him about Dan. So thank you."

"He would have come eventually," Peyton replied with a little smile. "It's who he is."

Haley returned the smile. She hadn't really known what to think about the girl who had so quickly become such a significant part of Lucas's life. She knew how much he obviously cared for her and also that Nathan too was beginning to accept Peyton. "Look I know I probably haven't been as welcoming as I should have been. It's just Lucas and Nathan have been through so much and I can't help but feel protective over them. But it's obvious you care about him. And I know he cares about you. I had you wrong Peyton and I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I'd have been the same way if it was my best friend." She turned her attentions to the Styrofoam cup in her hands. "It's like I've been running all my life. I mean I never let anyone in, never trust anybody. And then Lucas comes along. I was in a pretty bad place and he cared enough to help me. It's like with Lucas I finally want to stand still."

Haley was touched by her honesty. She knew all too well what it was like to need Lucas Scott in her life. She had remember those days back in Kindergarten when she had been relentlessly teased for not having the right lunchbox or wearing her hair in the right way. And Lucas had defended her. He'd sat with her at lunch so she wouldn't be alone. They had become friends instantly and had stayed that way. Lucas would always look out for people.

-- --

Nathan and Lucas sat in silence at the bedside. A nurse had said that it would be good for the brothers to talk to their father, that studies had shown that that aided in quicker healing. But in all actuality neither of them truly knew what to say.

At some point during the hushed quiet Nathan had moved to the window and stared out at the dark cityscape. "You remember my eighth birthday? Dad had surprised us with tickets to the Charlotte Bobcats vs. Washington game?"

Lucas grinned. The Charlotte Bobcats had been Nathan's favourite team when growing up. He recalled how Nathan had whooped and shrieked when he had opened the envelope and discovered the tickets inside. "I remember."

"And then me, you, mom and dad drove down. It was cool you know. The road trip. It was the best birthday ever and we were a real family." Nathan turned to Lucas then and pressed his back up to the window sill. "And the drive back. Dad stopped off at that lake and we went swimming."

The older brother let himself be caught up in the treasured memory. "I remember that mom nearly had a fit when you decided to dive off those rocks." Nathan had always been the more adventurous and reckless on growing up.

"Yeah." Nathan paused then and looked down at the shiny floor. "But what I'll never forget is the look on mom's face afterwards when we crossed back into Tree Hill. I think that was when I realised who my dad was. I mean we'd had this great weekend. Dad was back from his business trip. And she was just..." he voice trailed as he searched for the right words. "Broken."

Lucas was at a loss of what to say once again that day. "He wasn't back from a business trip Nate."

Nathan nodded harshly, "I know. He was back from rehab right? And mom was worried that everything was going to be just like it was before. Just like the last time."

"Yeah," Lucas admitted. He'd always suspected Nathan knew the truth. He and his mother had chosen to protect the youngest from the truth and Nathan had happily gone along with the pretence of denial.

"God," the dark haired brother cursed outwardly. "Why's our god damned family so messed up?"

-- --

After a couple of hours Nathan had fallen asleep in the chair by their father's bedside. Lucas was still wide awake and restless. His eyelids weren't functioning the way they should despite the stinging sensation of tiredness located behind his eye sockets. He was too wired to sleep. He pushed himself up wearily from the plastic chair and left the room wanting to stretch his legs.

The hospital corridors were mostly empty and he made for the waiting area. He knew that Haley had gone home to relive Brooke from taking care of Jamie. He found Peyton curled up on one of the uncomfortably small and scratchy grey couches. A smile played at the corners of his mouth as he brushed the stray locks that were fanned across her face. His motion had been featherlike but it was enough to stir her awake.

"Hey," her voice was groggy as she came to. She moved slowly and pulled herself into a cross legged position. Her eyes were slightly hazy as she focused on him now. "You ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine," he shrugged off the concern all too quickly and sat down beside her. "You want me to take you home? The hospital couches aren't too comfortable and you don't have to stay."

To Peyton he looked anything but fine. He looked exhausted, worried and confused. "No, it's ok. I want to stay." She wanted to be there for him. She knew all too well he'd want to be strong for his brother and figured he needed someone to be strong for him."How's Nathan doing?"

"He's doing better now that Dan's more stable. We've just got to wait for him to wake up."

"Well that's good right."

"Yeah. You want to get some air?" Lucas asked after a few moments. He needed to try and clear some of the cobwebs in his mind. She nodded pulling herself up from the couch.

They walked hand in hand down the city streets after leaving the hospital. Lucas kept his stance strong and protective and his step was always just slightly ahead of her own. He was always a little on edge when she was out in public, though he didn't think anything would actually happen he never let the possibility out of his mind.

"So how about you Lucas Scott?" she probed now. "How are you holding up?"

The blonde stopped hesitantly in his tracks. "Honestly I don't know. I'm still trying to process everything." It had been a long and trying day and Lucas at that present moment in time felt numb to the entire situation.

"Yeah. I guess it's just going to take time."

"Yeah. Thank you though," he added as an afterthought. "I guess I needed to come tonight."

Peyton smiled gently and moved in to hug him then. She knew that for him to admit that would have taken a lot. "I'm always here for you Luke," she muffled into his shirt.

Lucas buried his face into the crown of her soft curls inhaling the sweet scent and finding that feeling of calm sweep over him once again. He didn't know how she managed to have that effect but right now he was truly glad of it. Becoming a little conscious of the fact that he was perhaps holding her for too long Lucas reluctantly pulled away.

Peyton's emerald eyes locked with his crystal blues. She smiled sweetly as Lucas tucked her curls behind her ear. With everything that was going on in his life, with all the uncertainty in both his family and professional lives only one thing seemed clear to him. One constant and driving force within him was his feelings for the girl that stood before him. The girl that he now moved in to kiss.

He was tentative. His mind swimming with all the reasons why giving in to need and want was a bad idea. The timing was off. He had no idea how she would react.

His kiss was soft and brief but also full of a hidden promise.

She didn't speak, she merely held on to a baited breath as she watched him move back.

"Peyt, I'm sorry," he stammered. "I didn't..."

Peyton did something then that he truly didn't expect her to do. She reached up and she kissed him back.

I hope that you enjoyed the new and long awaited chapter. I'll be seeing you. :)