Ridiculous - Episode 16 - Sorry, bro
There were so many things about Scherbatsky that Barney didn't get.
How could she just lose a gun? You did not just accidentally leave a gun at some random hook-up's place. A tie, yes. A sock, maybe. But a gun? Guns were complicated and were really dangerous. The two guns he owned were kept in safe places, checked regularly and came with a surprising number of permits. You didn't jerk around with the Fed; at least, not without a very, very good reason. Robin was just so… irresponsible… sometimes. If she got arrested and deported back to Canada, he'd never forgive her.
And exactly how was a monkey in a tuxedo (even in two tuxes) funnier than Marshall forgetting his pants? To work? Then wearing shredded pants?
Barney had to take a deep breath and steady himself at the mere thought.
It was like he didn't know her at all sometimes.
He sighed heavily, letting himself back into his apartment. Ted had (drunkenly) tried to insist that he stayed with him, but spending more than five minutes alone with Karen in their living room had been enough to give Barney hives. Plus, Barney Stinson did not sleep on his Bro's couch and have to listen to his Bro's sex noises. No way, Jose.
So here he was, four thirty in the morning, too wired to sleep, too tired to work, too tired even jerk off. There was really only one option.
Shoes off, TV on.
Channel twelve, Come On, Get Up New York, here we come!
And that was another thing about Scherbatsky that Barney didn't get. How was it possible that, at four thirty in the morning, she still looked so goddamned beautiful?
He stared at the screen for long minutes (until his eyes began to water) before giving up and heading for the shower with a grunt. He recorded Robin's show every day on TIVO anyway. And he saw her practically every day in the flesh. Yet still she had the power to hypnotise him, to captivate him, to make him smile and sigh and lose himself in those deep blue eyes.
He loosened his tie, pulling it off and looping it over the hanger, his fingers tracing the nap of the silk. A memory popped into his head, of how her hair had felt beneath his hand when he'd held her close. If they could make ties out of Scherbatsky's hair, some dude would make a fortune.
When he'd held her close, he'd breathed her in and tried to crystallise that memory - to hold onto it - like a starving man savouring a tiny scrap of bread.
And that was the thing that he really didn't get about Robin Scherbatsky, the thing that definitely bugged him the most: How could it be that she was completely and utterly oblivious to how he really felt about her? After all the women he'd tricked into loving him, how ridiculously ironic was it that the one woman who he actually cared about was so utterly blind to the fact that he loved her?
Although given her inexplicable sense of humour, that was probably a good thing.