Work or pleasure?

##Author's warning - part 3 is smutty.

##

1. Obvious

"Look at her! She's the greatest woman on the planet!"

Marshall frowned. For, like, the millionth time he couldn't believe that Barney was being quite that obvious. Occasionally he'd seen his friend slip, and it was easy to put it down to Barney being… well, Barney. The dude had developed enough ticks and weirdness this year that he could pretty much come out and say he loved Robin and no-one would even notice.

Come to think of it, he had. That time they'd been talking about Robin and Ted's "deal". It had been shortly after Lily had told him that Barney was in love with her.

Barney Stinson, in love…

It had been just before Christmas - when they'd all got into that Naked Man thing, when he'd Called Slut on Robin.

"I just don't get it." Marshall had ranted to Lily. "Robin's an attractive woman. Why doesn't she get herself a boyfriend?"

"Well sweetie, she's just not that into the whole monogamy thing right now. She wants to Woo. She wants to play the field, have a good time."

He'd scowled. "Jesus, she's gonna turn into Barney!"

Lily had giggled.

"What was that?" He'd asked her.

"What was what?"

"That giggle!"

"What giggle?" She giggled again.

"Lilypad… You're acting really we-"

"Barney's in love with Robin!"

His jaw had practically hit the floor.

And Marshall wasn't mad at his wife. He was actually kind of proud of her. She's kept Barney's secret for a whole two months (which was a record) and he'd never suspected.

Christmas was the hardest time. Lily had been terrified that she was going to blurt it out. At first, Marshall thought that might be a good thing. But then he saw Robin's reaction when Barney had been sleazing on Heather Mosby's Christmas card: Disgust, frustration and acceptance - certainly no jealousy. Perhaps Robin just wasn't that into him.

So he'd given Lily the instruction to just blurt out random secrets whenever she felt Barney's one rise up in her throat. And it had been really funny - especially when she'd told them all the awesome secret of their new mailman (...woman? It was so hard to tell these days).

But now, Marshall felt kind of sad for Barney, and he'd asked Lil if there wasn't some way they could help the whole thing along. The "sitting together on the other side of the booth" thing wasn't working, so what could they try?

"Oh, I don't know honey." Lily had said. "Maybe I'm the wrong person to be advising Barney. I don't speak dude."

Marshall had shrugged. "Well, I could help. If only he'd tell me?"

Lily had let out a long sigh. "He'd never tell you."

"He'd tell me if you went away for a while."

"Oh, Marshmallow!"

"Relax, babe. We just need to find a way for you not to talk to Barney for a while. I'm sure he'd break down and talk to me instead, soon as the next guy hits on Robin."

Lily had looked reluctant, but they'd hatched their plan.

Now all they had to do was wait.

"I'm in love with… TED… having sex with women! I'm a very dedicated wingman!"

The sweet thing was that Marshall could see how much Barney was flailing, how super-obvious he was being. But he played it gently. Barney would tell him eventually, Marshall just really hoped it was soon.

Cos Barney and Robin would make the cutest couple in history.

2. Magic Guy

"Hey Sport's Guy, Magic Guy!" Billson said as he poked his head into Marshall's office, where Marshall and Barney were watching the latest viral youtube video clip.

"Magic Guy?" Marshall mouthed, but Barney waved him away.

"Hey Billson, you seen this video of the really, really fat chick sitting on a pole?" Barney sniggered and Marshall rolled his eyes. He'd never met someone who was more easily pleased than Barney had the sense of humour of a nine-year-old kid.

"Yep, Youtube Guy showed it to us in the Kasaki meeting!" Billson said casually, dropping a pile of files into Marshall's in-tray.

"In the Kasaki meeting?" Marshall asked, a little outraged. "Dude, isn't that a little inappropriate?"

Barney rolled his eyes and punched Marshall in the shoulder. "Be fun!" He growled under his breath. "Remember, they're laying off peeps today!"

Marshall swallowed. "I mean… awesome… dude…" He said unenthusiastically. Billson flashed him a grin and left.

"You gotta stop doing that!" Barney said with an edge of annoyance in his voice.

"Doing what?"

"Being so judgemental."

Marshall was about to argue the point when he remembered something Billson had said. "Hold on - Magic Guy?"

Barney waved his hands in front of him in a faux-casual way. "Meh…"

"Barney!"

"Okay! Okay!" Barney replied. "Before I was Knows Too Many Secrets Guy, when I first started out here, I used to do magic tricks. You know. It was my Thing. Pretty successful it was, too! Survived a year of layoffs before I got the silver briefcase. Billson was a junior here then so he remembers."

Marshall sniggered. "Magic Guy? That's totally lame."

"Is not! It's awesome."

"Lame!"

"Awesome!"

Marshall just smirked.

Under his breath, Barney muttered. "Just don't tell Robin, okay?"

3. Submission

He buckled a collar around her throat, his blue eyes boring into hers. He pulled it just a little too tight, so that she could barely breathe. When she started to wheeze, he loosened it.

"I control… everything…" He whispered. "Everything you do… feel… Even when you take a breath."

She strained against the bonds that shackled her to the bed, glad he's left her in her bra and panties, even though the underwear felt like a flimsy defence against him. Sure enough, he soon had one hand inside the lace of her bra, tweaking a nipple into hardness, pinching it until she was writhing to his touch. She let out a moan.

"Do I have to gag you?" He asked, his voice taking on a hard edge.

She shook her head, mute for a moment. Jesus, he was so hot! Why had she never seen it before in him? Who knew that beneath the cologne and the Armani and the jokes beat the heart of a sadist?

He held his belt in his hands, fingers sliding along the leather, manicured nails picking irritably at the metal buckle.

"You've been a bad girl…"

She nodded.

He dangled the belt over her belly, letting the buckle run across her skin, down between her legs. She flinched as she felt the it move against her panties. She closed her eyes as he reached down and ripped them off.

The metal buckle felt cold. He jiggled it until she cried out, throbbing, burning hot as his fingers replaced the belt, probing her, brutally invasive.

Then he knelt between her legs.

She wanted him, so much. She wanted him but she couldn't move. He was in control. He could withhold her pleasure, deny it… or he could grant it. He could blow her mind with a whisper, with a word, with a touch, with a lash…

He brought the belt down, viciously hard, against her torso and she screamed…

Robin sat bold upright in bed, sweat beading her brow, her body pulsing and her heart pounding in the aftershock of the imaginary pain.

Shit…

She really had to go back to the doctor about those sleeping pills.