Chapter 2

The Vanishing Aquarium

Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys woke up with little Naruto on their doorsteps. Time kept on passing by and things changed very quickly.

It was Kisame's birthday, Naruto's cousin.

They were no longer babies but young boys.

"Get up, Naruto! Don't be a fat ass like your uncle!"

Naruto woke up the instant he heard that screeching, annoying voice. His aunt was rapping on the door again.

"Are you up yet?!" she asked.

"Like I wouldn't be able to get up with that voice."

"Well, if you're awake now, look after the ramen by the stove! Don't over cook the noodles. I want everything perfect on Kisame's birthday."

"Someday, I will become hokage of this village and you and uncle and Kisame shall bow down to me! Believe it!"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing, nothing…"

Naruto got up, careful not to bump his head on the low roof of his room—well it wasn't a room, as we all know. The cupboard under the stairs was where he slept. He got dressed and did what his aunt asked him to do.

Naruto and Kisame weren't really in good terms. Kisame was a really large green kid who liked violence and lots and lots and lots of gore. He and his friends, Hidan and Kakuzu used him as a punching bag whenever they would see him but of course, they couldn't catch Naruto because he was fast.

Mr. Dursley and Kisame went down now. They ate their breakfast then Kisame started counting his presents. He complained that he got less presents this year and started throwing a tantrum.

"Thirty-six?! That's two presents less than last year!" he screamed.

"Don't forget your aunt's present, Kisame-kun." Mrs. Dursley said.

"Alright, thirty-seven. But that's—"

"We'll buy you two more, honey."

"But—"

"And we'll go to sea world and see shamu."

"But—"

Then Naruto said, "I have a present for you, Kisame!"

"Oh, yeah? What is it?"

"Here," Naruto said, handing him a DVD copy of Finding Nemo.

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

"You'll find the shark's pledge really handy in sea world, you know." Then Naruto grinned inside. "Fish are friends, not food."

Then Kisame turned red with anger and started chasing Naruto away with the new weapon he got as a present.

"DAMN YOU, NARUTOOOOOO!!!!" he screamed.

o-o-o-o-o-o

A little later, everyone was seated in the car. They were on their way to sea world. When they were there and everyone was out of the car, Mr. Dursley went to Naruto and said,

"Any stupid thing you do—remember that! Don't get yourself into trouble, Naruto!"

"Yeah, whatever. The only trouble we could do here is if Kisame does something really stupid like sticking his butt to a water tank and farts. Then the fish will die."

"Shut up!"

"Ok."

After lunch, they went to the place where the penguins were kept.

"This is boring" Kisame said as he loaded his air gun and shot a helpless penguin.

"Let's go to the dolphins."

"And shoot more dolphins? Ok."

Naruto and Kisame went to the dolphin's aquarium together then Kisame started reloading his air gun again.

"I hate dolphins." Kisame muttered. "Sharks and dolphins are mortal enemies. Dolphins should die."

"So you like sharks?"

"Yeah." He said as he stood on top of the glass aquarium.

"Is that why you look like a shark."

"shut up." He said. Apparently, he was too busy shooting dolphins to get mad with what Naruto said.

A swift dolphin passed by beside Naruto behind the transparent glass wall that was still part of the dolphin aquarium. And Naruto saw it's eyes—it was talking to him!

"He's annoying, I know." Naruto told the dolphin, not sure if it could hear him or not. The dolphin was under Kisame, by the way. "Where are you from?" Naruto asked.

The dolphin used its tail to point at a sign.

"So you came from the pacific ocean?"

The dolphin gave him a nod.

"You must miss your friends there." Naruto said.

The dolphin nodded again.

But then suddenly, Kisame saw the dolphin below him. He was about to shoot it then Naruto said, "NOOOOOOO!!!" in slow mo.

And suddenly, the whole aquarium was gone and water gushed out everywhere. Kisame fell down since he was standing on the aquarium. A big dolphin swallowed him whole—and that was the end of him.

That night at Kisame's funeral, Mr. and Mrs. Dursley cried and cried. They approached Naruto and gave him an envelope.

"Here, take this." Mr. Dursley said.

"What's this?" Naruto asked.

"It's a letter from Hogwarts. You killed my son, you bastard! Go and live in that Hogwarts school of hell and get away from this house. Don't you ever return!"

"But I thought that you're not supposed to give me that letter yet. It's in the script, remember?"

"I don't care. We're jumping the script now that Kisame's dead!"

"So we're just going to skip chapters 3 and 4?"

"YES!!"

"But in the original story, we're supposed to get far away and hide. Aren't you even reading your scripts? Why are you even in this story? You're not even actors!"

"Shut up, someone named Kakashi is going to get you later at midnight. Now pack!"

Later that midnight…

"Where's Kakashi?"

"I don't know."

"Isn't he supposed to be here right now?"

"I don't know."

"What does he look like?"

"I don't know."

"Do you see him?"

"I don't know."

"Can't you answer anything but I don't know?"

"Know don't I."

5 hours later…

"It's a bird!"

"It's a plane!"

"No! It's a…a broom stick!"

Naruto took his bag and approached the landing man on the broom stick.

"Well you look like a ninja wizard…are you Kakashi?"

"Yes, I am Kakashi. Are you Naruto?"

"Uhu."

"Hmmnn…" Kakashi pondered aloud. "Prove it!"

"Well I have this mark—"

"On your forehead? I don't see a scar! You're not Harry Potter!"

"Well duh! I'm Naruto playing as Harry Potter."

"Oh, right…so how can you prove that you're Naruto?"

Naruto thought hard until he said, "Look at my belly." Then he started pulling up his shirt.

"H-hey!" Kakashi stopped him. "I'm not in to you!" he said. "I'm no pedophile!"

"I'm not going to strip in front of you, idiot." Then he pointed at the chakra seal on his belly. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Believe it!"

"Yeah, yeah. And I'm the sexiest man alive, believe it."

"And you're super late! We're supposed to meet five hours ago!"

"I saw a black cat today and I was afraid to cross it—because it's bad luck. so I went the other way."

"Really? Is that really bad luck?"

"Nah, not really. It's just my excuse for being late."

Then Naruto asked, "Mr. Kakashi…do you know my parents?"

"Oh, them? Yeah, yeah. I did."

"So…where are they?"

Kakashi looked at Naruto with heavy eyes and said, "I hate to tell you this but they're dead."

"They're dead?!"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. They got killed."

"By who?"

"By You-Know-Who. Didn't those muggles tell you anything about it?"

"Who is You-Know-Who? And what is a muggle?"

"Muggles are ordinary ninjas who don't have magic…Ninja Wizards like us are more special than just ninjas."

"But who is You-Know-Who?" Naruto asked again.

"Alright, I'll say his name. But don't make me say it again. He's Volde…Volde…shit, his name is so long I can't remember it."

"Voldemort? Is that his name?"

"No! It's something more worse. Fouler than Voldemort…it's at the tip of my tongue. Ah, yes! Voldemorochimaru!"

"Voldemoro…what?"

"Voldemorochimaru!"

"Ahhhh! You said his name twice."

"NOOOOOOO!!! I'm DOOOOOMED!!!"

"What's his name again?"

Kakashi said no more as he hailed a cab.

"Hey, don't you have a broom stick? Aren't we gonna use it?"

"Yeah, we are going to use it, silly." He said. "But your luggage is too heavy for the broom. We have to send it to the air port."

"Oh, okay."

So after putting address marks and names on Naruto's luggage, the bag was sent to the air port.

"Okay, C'mon. Let's go shopping!"

Naruto looked at him suspiciously.

"Shopping for your school supplies, I mean…hey, I'm not gay!"

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o