Part Two

When Robin awoke the next morning, at first she had the weirdest feeling, like she was in bed with Ted, that Ted was still her boyfriend… that her boyfriend was… cuddling her.

Someone was definitely cuddling her.

Brain fogged with sleep, she tried to work out what the hell she'd been drinking the night before that she'd fallen asleep with some random, cuddle-obsessive dude.

Not cool.

Now there was going to be awkwardness and hurriedly looking around for missing underwear and-

Hold on. She breathed in deep.

Only one person she knew smelled like that.

She opened one eye.

Crap.

Barney lay inches from her, fingers wrapped around hers as he slept. She lay there a long moment and just watched him. Should this be creepy? She just spent the night with Barney, and there was absolutely no sex involved.
Before she could stop herself, a little smile pressed against the corners of her lips. Then he cracked one eyelid open, and was subject to his slow, lazy grin and her smile faded.
Any moment now, he would make a sly sexual remark, and she would awkwardly run from the room. Except he didn't.
"How did you sleep?" he asked.

Robin blinked and stared at him, unable to keep the confusion she felt from crossing over her face. It was too early for Barney to be surprising her, she was too groggy to figure out if he was building up to a joke or just being...not Barney.
"What time is it?" she mumbled, rubbing a hand over her face and leaning up on her elbow, looking around at the rather depressing gray of his bedroom. She'd been too tired the night before to really take it in, but she was struck with how...empty it was.
She looked back over at Barney when he hadn't answered, and found that he was just watching her, an expression on his face that she had never seen before.
"Are you all right?" she asked, not really sure what else to say.

He did this strange half-shrug thing. "Fine." He sat up.
"So, um. Don't you have work today?" She still hadn't quite gotten over the weirdness of the situation, but maybe, if he left the apartment, she could go home, apologize to Ted, and forget this had ever happened.
Not that that had worked last time, but whatever. This was way weirder.
"It's Saturday, Scherbatsky," Barney said, sounding (almost) like his old self.
Damn it.
She remembered hearing that losing track of the days of the week was a sign of insanity.
That would almost be better.
Love?
He'd really said that?

They'd been cuddling. Actually cuddling.
Now that the moment was over and he was no longer distracted by the smell of her hair and the warmth of her body pressed against his, he just felt weird. Weird that he went against his own arbitrary code of living.
And she was looking at him, completely freaked, almost frightened of him. That was somehow worse than breaking the Code.
But he'd done the impossible. He'd slept in the same bed as a woman and not made a move on her (though, God, he'd wanted to).
Maybe there was hope for him yet.

"Want some coffee?" Robin looked back up; Barney was looking at her... weirdly.
"Huh?"
"Some coffee", he tried again, he seemed nervous, swallowing before continuing. "You know, it's morning, some people like to eat and drink – non alcoholic beverages." He managed to grin for a moment before Robin's questioning stare wore him down.
"Do you even have any food?" Robin asked with a raised eyebrow, her head was still resting on his chest. He thought about it, mouth open.
He didn't.
"We could go out?"
"We could..." The real question was: why did he want to?
"Come on, I insist."

Robin had been in a lot of... Weird scenarios with Barney before. She never thought 'Breakfast' would ever be one of them.
The clinking of forks, the blatant aversion of eye contact, it was driving her insane. She just wanted to stand up and yell, "What the hell, Barney?!"
No longer sleep-deprived, she was thinking clearly. And she still didn't understand it. "So..." She began.
"So I found another place for laser tag!" He sort of yelped, "But it's team battles. Don't they know teams are only fun when you make them yourself in the middle of a free for all?"

Barney dipped his toast into his egg yolk and continued to blather. "I mean I love laser tag, but this whole team thing is crap. Don't you think?"
There was that word again. Love. He was trying to throw it around casually, but she could see by the way he gripped his fork how much effort it took. Since when had she been able to read Barney by his use of silverware? No one should be able to do that. Her stomach warbled.
She set down her coffee with a determined thud. "Barney," she tried again, "what is going on?"

Barney gulped, swallowing down the figurative twenty-seven car pile-up that had gotten caught in his throat. He needed to push past this. He needed to be his old self. His bro self. Needed to go back to the guy who didn't use the word 'love' every sentence. That's the guy Robin wanted him to be.
"I told you what's going on. The sport of laser tag is ruined. I say we go TP the place."
Robin chuckled, wondering if maybe she should just let this go. It was pretty clear that pressing him on the subject wasn't getting them anywhere.

"You want to TP this place, too? Is that going to be your solution every time a new laser tag establishment does something you don't like?" Robin asked, deciding to humor Barney.
"No, Scherbatsky... only when it's justified," Barney replied, easily falling into step with her. He was somewhat surprised how effortlessly he was able to keep up his charade. "And I'd say this time it's well deserved."
Robin rolled her eyes at him. "With all the money you have I'm surprised you've not gone out and just bought your own laser tag place by now." She'd said it as a joke, but judging from the mischievous glint in Barney's eye, he'd taken it as anything but.

"You're right, Scherbatsky! I should buy a laser-tag place!"
"Barney, do you really think you can buy, manage and use your own laser-tag-- what do you call it anyway: place, joint, arena…?"
"Well, I managed to buy, manage and pay someone else to use South Korean military information last week… But I don't really wanna talk about work."
Robin shook off the latest weird allusion to Barney's job. She was just pleased that Barney finally seemed to be acting like himself again, though she felt like it was taking him more of an effort than normal to seem, well… normal.

While Barney blabbered on about his novel operational model for mega-multi-player laser tag arenas, Robin noticed that at least eight women of considerable attractiveness (and boobage) had walked past their table.
Barney hadn't so much as glanced at a single one.
His eyes moved only between her face and his gesticulating hands.
He had the most graceful hands… long, slender fingers. Her eyes caught the rippling of muscles in his forearms, his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The bass tones of his voice vibrated pleasantly in her ribcage and she suddenly realized she felt something more there.

"Sherbatsky!" He snapped his fingers at her and she jumped, blinked and looked up at him.
"What?"
"Have you been listening to a word I've been saying!?" He sounded frustrated, like he'd just told her his life's goals and dreams and she couldn't care less.
"Yes. Sorry! Just kinda zoned out there a sec. Continue..." she smiled apologetically, mentally scolding herself.
But what was it that she had felt a moment ago? She raised her eyes and for three painfully long seconds, he held her gaze. He was mid-sentence and suddenly he just stopped talking and stared back at her.

Three seconds was a long time. Certainly long enough for Strange Thoughts and a Minor Freak Out.

…oh my god, his eyes are so blue…

…do I have something on my chin?...

…why is he staring why is he staring…

…did I leave my cream pants in the dryer at Ted's?...

…he said he loves me…

…he loves me? What the hell?...

…he's doing that thing with his lips…

Then he grinned and broke the spell, causing Robin to flinch and knock the salt cellar with her hand. It skittered across the table, spilling its contents all over his food.

Had it been any other woman, it would have been a deal breaker. Ruined his eggs? Absolutely unacceptable. But when Robin looked up at him with horror and guilt in her eyes, he could only chuckle.
"No, honestly, it's fine." He attempted to scrape off the excess salt from his food, but it was stuck fast. And yet he didn't care. "Who needs eggs? We should go for a walk."
It was a spontaneous idea, spilling from his lips before he could stop it, but the idea of a morning walk with her sounded perfect. And maybe… courage would come.

Robin nodded. Objectively, she thought, she should probably go away and try and clear her head. If she could get this embarrassingly flustered by Barney Stinson, obviously there was something wrong and she needed to seek help immediately.
So he paid (he'd insisted), and they walked together, but not with the intimacy that implied. Barney didn't try and hold her hand, or anything like that - he walked with his hands in his pockets, his eyes on the sidewalk. Their only contact was when their arms bumped together accidentally.
"So, Scherbatsky," he said. "Given any more thought to your housing situation?"

"The what? Oh that, right..." She looked down to the sidewalk, watching her feet move. "I don't know."

"Well-"

"Oh don't worry, I won't bother your fortress of Barnitude for long."

"Please. You can stay as long as you need to." He kept his eye on the sidewalk as well; if he looked up he might do something stupid.

"Well it's kind of awkward, don't you think? I can't stay forever. I mean, what will the bimboes think", she said sarcastically; they both smiled. "Remember when you had Lily as a roommate?"

Barney's head shot up at the very thought.

"Heh. Yeah, Lily." He replied awkwardly, returning his gaze to the ever-fascinating ground. "But, you know, you and Lily are... Different. Lily's like a sister to me, and-"
Robin's head shot up, "And?"
"And... you are... Canadian. Heh." Maybe laughing awkwardly all the time wasn't a convincing strategy. Damn.
"Huh, so Lily's like a sister I'm a Canadian to you?" Robin replied, a skeptical brow arched.
"Obviously. There are two kinds of people in the world, Scherbatsky: Canadians and actual humans."
"Well, then... Alex Trebek is a better host than Bob Barker." Robin replied icily, no longer having the patience for his anti-Canadian attitude.

He took a deep breath, willfully ignoring her jab at Bob Barker. "Seriously, though. If you do want to stay, I think I can get you an awesome card."
"A what?" Why did she even ask?
"As you know, most women can only enter the Fortress of Barnitude on a short-term sex visa, but in very rare cases, a truly awesome woman might qualify for an open-ended awesome card. And since you're the second most awesome person I know …"
"I qualify."
"All you need is $250 and eight passport photos, clothing optional."
"Barney!" she scolded, laughter in her eyes.

Barney grinned, blue eyes twinkling with mischief. "You know you like it, Scherbatsky. If I wasn't a perv, you'd have moved on long ago."
Robin arched an eyebrow. "You think that's why I stay, Barney? Because you wax poetic about how awesome my boobs look today?"
In an instant, Barney's eyes drifted to her cleavage, drinking in the small dimples that marked her flesh. "There once were some boobs from New York. Who could make any man pop a cork. They were true things of beauty, paired up with a nice booty. And you can spoon her after you fork."

She couldn't contain the low chuckle that welled up within her, nor the pride she derived from Barney's dirty limerick about her.
About her, nobody else.
Because he loved her.
He loved her?
Maybe that wasn't so bad…if it meant more laughter, more lightness in her life.
But what if one day he realized he didn't?
What if she's completely wrong…that the limerick's not really about her, it's about any bimbo he's ever nailed?
What if, one day, she'd lose any hope of happiness with him?
He watched as her grin faded. The wind whipped up her hair and she shivered, ever so slightly.

Barney frowned. "Robin, are-"
"Just... listen, Barney. My point is, I stick around because - yes, partly because you make me laugh about things like my boobs. But it's also because I think you understand me better than any of our friends do - you've challenged me to make more of myself than I ever thought possible... You do more for your friends than anyone gives you credit for. There are so many other reasons that I want you in my life. It just… when you think about it, it makes a lot of sense..." Robin trailed off, remembering. She smiled slightly.