Chapter 12: Not The Way That It's Supposed To Be

Alice

It is very difficult to let someone you love go; Edward left me almost the minute we disembarked, leaving me to explain to the others what had transpired in Italy. I also knew that the Volturi would not give him up that easily, and though they would bide their time eventually they would find a way to try to lure him back to their ranks.

When the Denali clan informed us of Edward's whereabouts I was relieved, because I had been unable to find him. He had made no decisions, which meant that there was nothing in his future but a blank slate, until just a few hours ago when out of the blue it came flashing at me.

"What is he doing now?" I asked aloud, though Jasper would not be able to answer me.

"You tell me." Jasper sent me a bemused look.

"It looks like…he's coming home?"

"You sound unsure." Carlisle studied me.

"I think he's decided to come back, but it's not clear why or when. Besides, it was a very quick vision."

"Nice excuse." Emmett laughed. I shot him a glare.

"It is not an excuse."

"You've never used it before, I'll give." Emmett shrugged. "But there is a first time for everything, right?"

I did not deign to give him an answer, instead turning to Jazz. "Come hunting with me."

"You're not that thirsty." He remarked.

"I'm thirsty enough." I replied. He looked at me quizzically but shrugged and took my hand as I walked away.

Once we were far enough away from the house that the others would be unable to listen in he pulled me to a stop and kissed me. I could feel little waves of pleasure wash over me as we made out, but I cannot say if it was him doing it or if I really felt that way. Giving me one last lingering kiss Jasper pulled away and held me at arms length.

"What did you really see, Alice?"

I sighed. "Wait a few minutes and your answer will arrive."

"He's coming here?" Jasper looked a little surprised as he surveyed our surroundings.

"If I am correct he did not want to come to close to the house and has decided to stop here for a little bit. I'm sure he realised I would see this and be here, so I am."

"I see."

"Ah, you got my message." Edward's voice was soft as he stepped out of the trees. "I figured you'd come."

"Are you really coming back to stay?" I asked.

"For now." He nodded.

"And…and Bella?"

"Will always be in my heart."

I narrowed my eyes. That was not an answer. Jasper was frowning and kept giving little shakes of his head.

"Edward, if you're going to be so sad I hope you don't take it offensively if I avoid you. Yours is a mood I cannot fix."

"I am sorry, Jasper. It will take time." Edward turned back to me and eyed me perceptively. "I know you probably cannot see Bella easily but please keep an eye out for Victoria. She is still hunting, I overheard her thoughts on the matter, but she managed to escape me."

"Oh, of course." I promised. "But what are you going to do if I see something?"

"Be her knight in shining armour." He gave me a lopsided smile that disappeared as swiftly as it had arrived. "In secret, of course. I promised her I would not interfere in her happiness, and she is happy."

I looked at him, mystified. How exactly would he be her knight if it was all in secret, and how was my watching her not interfering? After all, if I saw something he would not stop to think it through but go haring off to save the day, which would anger the Quileutes, no doubt.

"I can handle them." He scowled at me. "And I do not just go off without thinking."

"Really." Jasper said dryly. "So then you thought long and hard about spending a week in the snow? And before that you thought long and hard about seeing if Bella was happy."

I shot Jasper a glare; he was not helping the situation any. My glare was nothing, though, compared to Edward's. He was eyeing Jasper with a terrifying look, his eyes dark with thirst. The malice coming off of him just then was so thick I could feel it, and that is not my specialty. It made me wonder how Jasper felt, especially since it was directed at him.

"Don't be that way, Edward; you know what I say is the truth. You don't think things through, not where Bella is concerned. Just stay away from her, stay away from everything to do with her, including tracking Victoria." I stared at Jasper. He was usually the calm one, unless the blood lust got to be too much.

"I love her." Edward sounded pained.

"So do I." I said softly. "She and I, we were going to be great friends."

"How can I just forget her like that?" He begged Jasper for an answer.

"I wish I knew. But we gave up a life for you, Edward. We willingly left Forks so that you would not leave us. Is it so much for us to ask that you do the same? Do this for us, your family."

Edward lowered his head in defeat, and then flung his head back, his face locked in a horrific grimace. I could see the veins in his neck standing out and doubtless had he been human his face would have been red with whatever suppressed emotion he was feeling. As it was I could hear the low keen that escaped his lips; it made me wince. I glanced at Jasper who had backed away, his own expression that of pain as he felt everything Edward did.

"Leave me." Edward fell to his knees and cradled his head in his hands. "Just go away Alice. Let me be."

I frowned and concentrated on him. After a minute I was satisfied he would do nothing stupid that night and I backed off a few steps before whirling around and, grabbing Jasper's outstretched hand, ran off. Before we got to the house I veered off. I did not want to face the others just then; there was too much I had to think about before I explained.

Eventually I took down a small deer that quenched my minor thirst, and then Jasper and I headed back home. I avoided the little clearing we had left Edward in, going in an almost straight line back to the house. When we arrived Edward was not there, but Carlisle and Esme were standing by the glass wall staring out into the night.

"Please tell me he's okay." Esme glanced at me.

"He's fine for now." I shrugged. "He'll return here in due time, right now he'd trying to work through a few upsetting emotions and decisions."

"But he is returning?" Carlisle clarified.

"For certain."

"Is there anything we ought to know before he arrives?"

"I asked him to try, for us, to forget her." Jasper whispered. "I got a little angry with him and spoke out of turn, but I don't regret it. We gave up so much for him, the least he can do is to return the favour."

"Jasper," Esme looked at him with a glance that held both disapproval and understanding.

"I know, I know." Jasper sighed. "It was amazing that he had finally found love, and so on, but think about it, Esme; he is dragging us down with him because he cannot face his own decision. I simply requested of him to understand a few ideas."

"Still," Esme trailed off. She turned back to the window quickly, peering out.

"Edward comes." Carlisle remarked as a dark figure walked slowly out of the trees and just as slowly approached the house. Even without the bright moonlight reflecting off his face we would have easily seen him.

The four of us just watched him as he came closer, his face a mask set into an expression of indifference, though I knew he was simply trying to keep Esme from worrying more than she already did. We all did that; Esme is so tender-hearted we cannot bear to distress her at times. Jasper made a small noise and then retreated upstairs to our room, leaving Carlisle, Esme, and me to face Edward alone.