Author's Note: I'm genuilly sorry for the very lack of updates. I know you'll think that I have always an excuse, but my life has been quite hectic and upside down lately. I can't make any promises and say that I'll update more frequently. I can only say that I'll try. I want to thank all the people who read it, reviewed it and put my story or me on alert, it means a lot me. You have no idea.

About this chapter, I really do hope that this make up for the time lost. I'm very nervous about because it deals with Mark childhood. So I hope you'll enjoy it.

Chapter 8

Lexie was doing some charts when she received Mark's message. She took her cell out her waist, checked it out and read the message.
She was perplexed because this morning Mark didn't want to talk to her and now he wants to meet her at the park.

Why does he want to meet me? Maybe he wants to talk about what's been bothering him or maybe he wants to end things off with me? No, he wouldn't do it, would he? Lexie stop torturing yourself like that, besides he said he missed you today so that counts for something?

Lexie shook her head and replied to his message before heading towards the locker room to get change.

Meanwhile, Mark was still sitting on the bench, pondering about the conversation he just had with Victor.
He still doesn't understand what got into him to talk about his childhood to a complete stranger.

Even Derek doesn't know about it. His mother abandonning him, Mark felt too ashamed to say it. So he decided to lie and say that his mother died of a rare disease. Even though that might not be true but to Mark, she was dead.
He buried all his feelings for her in the back of his heart, but now he doesn't understand why they're coming back.

He knows he has to open up to Lexie, that he has to believe that in the end she's gonna be there. But it's easier said than done.
Besides, there's a lot about his past that he has to talk about but he's so afraid that she'll run to the hills when she discover everything about it.

As he was thinking about Lexie, his cell phone beeped and it was Lexie's

"Hey, i'll be there, just give me a few minutes and i'll meet you there.

Ps I've missed you too

L"

Just reading the text brought a smile, on Mark's lips. He have to admit that, the smile is for the last part of the message
"i've missed you too". Just knowing that she has missed him today, was enough to make his heart warm.

She's the only one who has an effect on him. Usually, he doesn't get attached to women especially after what happened with his mother and Addison; but with Lexie it's different.
She managed to find her through his heart even though he doesn't want to really admit it but he knows it deep down.

Looking around the park, he can't help but to notice that is has a lot of similiraties with the one in New York, where his mother abandoned him.

It's really like he was in New York right now. But what really striked him was a little boy sitting on the bench all alone with his teddy bear in his arms. Even though he was very young, Mark could relate to that boy. Same night, sitting on a bench and probably waiting for his mother with his teddy bear in his hands.

Mark kept looking at the boy and decided to fo talk him.

"Hey little one what are you doing here? Does your mother know you're here" Mark asked to the little boy while sitting

" My mum taught me to never speak to stranger. And you're a stranger so i can't talk to you sir." the little boy responded.

"all right if you want i can stay out here with you, we don't need to talk you know" Mark suggested.

"You don't have to stay here with me, my mum is coming. She told me to stay here a little while and wait for her. She'll be back"

"How do you know she'll be back?"

"because she loves me and she promised" The boy replied with determination in his eyes.

Instead of answering Mark decided to stay quiet and stayed with the boy.

Minutes passed and the mother's boy wasn't there yet and Mark didn't want the child to go through what he's been through in his childhood. It's way to painful for a child.

"And what about your dad?"

"what about him?"

"well does he know that you're here?"

"I don't have a father. It's only me with my mum" the kid responded bluntly

"Well kid, I know the feeling."

"what do you mean that? You don't have a dad?"

That question triggered Mark, because he knows that he has a dad and that he's still alive but his dad spent more time with women and work than him.

"You can say that"

"you, grown ups are way too complicated'

"why is that smart guy?"

"Because i asked you a question, all you needed to was to answer yes or no. But no you always complicate things."

Before answering Mark smiled and then said " you are way too
smart"

''i know"

"You know?"

"my mother says that i'm very smart." the boy told Mark proudly.

Mark didn't have time to respond because, a woman came towards them and called Daniel

"Daniel sweetie i already told you to not talk to stranger."

"Mummy. I'm so happy to see you." Daniel said with so much happiness in his voice while hugging his mother.

Mark was happy to see boy with his mother, but he couldn't help to feel jealous over that, Because his mother didn't come back to him, she left him in the rain.
He would have given anything just to have his mother hugging him just the way that woman is embracing her son.
To have her came back to him, he would have done anything, but she didn't.

Just watching this intimate moment between mother and son saddened Mark's heart.

She loves her son. You can see that in her eyes. No neeed to say the words. Actions speak louder than words.
But my mother never loved me. If she did she would have stayed and not left.

Mark shook his head and then said to the woman" I'm sorry but blame me. I'm the one who came to him. He told me that he doesn;t talk to stranger but i saw him all alone on the bench and i don;t know i just wanted to stay with him until you came back that's all."

"That's ok , I'm Samantha, and i was just over there and doing something for Daniel but it took much longer than i thought. So thank you for staying with him" she said nicely while playing with her son hair.

"I'm Mark sloan and you have a very bright child. It was my pleasure."

"Well thank you again. All right honey we're going home now, it's getting late. Say good Night to Mr Sloan."

"all right mummy. Bye Mr Sloan. "

''Bye Daniel. "

And with that, they left and Mark found himself alone again.

A few minutes later, he checked his watch and started to wonder where was Lexie. Until he heard

"Waiting for me''

Mark turned and saw Lexie standing near him with her hands in her pockets and jacket on.

"You came?" Mark asked with doubt

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?" she replied while sitting next to him.

Mark didn't respond, he just stayed silent. He didn't really know how to answer to her question.

She came, because she wanted to. Well now what am I gonna do? I'm sure she wondered why I asked her to meet me in the park at this hour. It's definitely not to play in the sand.

Meanwhile, Lexie noticed Mark being ill at ease a little bit and that's why the least of her intention.

Several minutes flied until Mark talked "So how was your day at the hospital?''

"Good, mmm well you know the usual, the pit , writing charts, Dr Yang breathing down my neck, but I'm used to it."

"Yang needs to get laid."

"Maybe but she's still my resident, and well you've been through your residency without problem, so I can do it. Every doctors did, so I can do it too." She said

Lexie didn't dare to ask him about his day because she figured that he will talk to her in time even though she really wants to know. But she knows that Mark is a very complex man and that he doesn't let people in that easily. So she's gonna have to wait.

"By the way I saw you talking to a woman and a little boy before I arrived. Who were they?" Lexie asked.

Mark stayed silent before and pondered about Lexie's question. Who were they? Who were these people?

These people were the representation of a loving mother and her son. A mother who kept her promises and came back to her son like she said to him.

"33 years ago, my mother abandonned me at a park." Mark replied bluntly

Lexie was shocked to say the least, she didn't expect it, but still didn't understand what he meant by all this so instead of interrupting him, she decided to let him talk. Plus she noticed that he was struggling with himself, that it was a battle for him to talk about his childhood, so she took his hands in hers and squeezed it to give him some assurance.

"It was at a park in New York. I was 5 and my mother told me to wait for her and to not come after her, that she'll be back. So of course, I obeyed and waited for her." Mark added meanwhile Lexie was keep squeezing his hands.

"Hours and hours later I was still on the bench and the rain started. I didn't want to move because my mother promised me that she would be back. Then I've waited , I've waited long that I couldn't even feel my clothes on.

Minutes later, my nanny came by accident and wanted me to go with her. But I didn't because I didn't want my mother to not see me on the bench where she told me to wait for her. So she carried me against my will to the car and then brought me home.

At home, i started looking for my mother, I screamed put her name in the all house but I got nothing in response. My nanny got me dried up and then I started the search again. I looked for her in any areas in the house but I didn't find her. "

"But…. But, maybe she got a problem that day, maybe something happened to her that day, you don't know" Lexie said to Mark

"Lexie since that day in the park I've never seen her not even once. If something had happened to her, I'm sure it would havbe been all over the news or something. So please don't try to find excuses" Mark replied back with a cold voice while looking straight in Lexie's eyes.

Mark's eyes always amaze and intimidate Lexie. When they turn from a light blue to a steel blue grey eyes or only grey that amaze her, but when they turn to a cold blue that kind of intimidate her because with only his eyes Mark can express his feelings, and when they are colb blue you can tell that he's mad or angry.

"I'm sorry, she did that to you and I'm trying to defend her, I ---"Lexie tried to say but Mark cut her off before she could continue.

"No don't apologise, I should be the one. I should't respond to you the way I just. That was totally unfair. So I'm sorry" Mark said.

"No that's ok Mark, you don't have to, and you've been through something very traumatic. But mmm what about your dad? Didn't he try to find her or help you get you through this?"Lexie asked.

Mark giggled before answering. "The only thing my dad said to me was: Thank son, because you I got rid of your mother.

That was the only time he thanked me."

"Mark I'm so sorry. But did you have somebody to help you with all this?"

"My nanny and Ms Shepherd. They basically raised me. I'm really grateful for them."

"Well think in a positive way, you had two mothers to raise you."

"Yeah but I wanted my mother to raise me, not another person, I really wanted mine. I don't know if you can understand, but the fact that my mother left me just means that I was worthless, useless and that she didn't love me."

"Mark don't say that, you were not worthless or meaningless or anything in any way and you're still not and you'll never be" Lexie said with determination.

"Pfff anyway, my father told me that so many times that I believe it's true. She left because I wasn't enough for her; she left because I was worthless. Besides my father is right. I fail all the time. One day I'll fail you. I don't have the ability to love because if I do, my mother wouldn't have left me. If I had shown, proved her that I loved her she would have stayed. "

Lexie couldn't believe her ears. How a man as successful as Mark Sloan could think so low of himself.

"Mark, listen to me ok and look at me all right" Lexie told him strongly.

Mark didn't look at her and kept looking at the ground. So Lexie made him look at her by turning his head towards her.

"Listen to me Mark for once and for all. I can't tell you that I know what you've been through because it would be a lie, but I can tell that what your mother did to you wasn't your fault. She did what she did because she wanted to. It's her loss. Don't ever say that you're worthless or useless because that is a big lie.

I don't know how many times I'm going tell you this but you're more than worth it Mark. You are worth. And I'll tell you that every single day if you need me to.

And about your dad, he's a jerk. You know what I have a few questions for you?"

Mark remained silent and only nodded so she could continue.

"Have you ever lied to me, used me, and treated me like crap or garbage?" Lexie asked

"No never" Mark responded very surprised.

"Would you?"

"No of course not" He said with his eyebrows frowned.

"So what makes you think you could fail me?"

Mark remained quiet. He really didn't expect that kind of question, because of course he didn't have any answer for that but he decided to go with that.

"Because I have a self destructive pathology, I might not be normal"

"Mark tell me what is normal? Normal is way overrated. Let me tell you something. I don't even care what your ass of father says because when I look at you I do not see damaged of any kind. I see a beautiful man who's been through hell and who's trying get on with his life even though his own father didn't believe in him and mother abandoned him.

I know that we haven't been together that long and that neither of us is ready to say the big three words but your actions speak louder than your words.

I experienced your capacity of love every single day of my life, I saw it in your eyes and felt it in your touch.

So don't you dare talk to me about your father who doesn't know anything about you and keeps saying that you are incapable of loving because I know better." Lexie told me while taking his head in her hands and stroking his cheeks.

"So you're staying, you're not running away?" Mark asked

"Running away to go where? Mark. Your past doesn't scare me away. Nobody defines who you are, not your father not your mother and not your past. Only you can define yourself.

I don't know how many times you need me to say this to you" while saying that she smiled "I'm in this for the long road I'm not going anywhere."

"But what about my past you know all the woman that I have in my life what----?"

"Mark I already told you that your past doesn't define who you are. Nothing will change between us. We all make mistakes, nobody's perfect. You have to let of the past, to move on and finally find happiness, because Mark I know you don't believe it but you deserve to be happy." She said to him then took his hands in hers.

Mark looked at their hands entwined and then added "But I don't know how to let go of that night, the night my mother abandoned me."

"It'll take time; it won't go overnight you know." She replied.

"Lexie it's been 33 years, I think it was more than enough."

"It has been a long time, but you know now you have me. I'm here for you anytime. During these years, you didn't have anybody to talk to, to really help you through this hard time. You stuffed up everything in instead of talking, but now you found, I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere.

I also know that your mother is the first woman that you ever loved and that she betrayed you, so that's why you don't trust women that easily. But I want you to know that I might screw up, but I'll never let you down."

After hearing those words, the only thing that Mark could think of was kissing Lexie. But not those passionate kisses they usual have, No, that one was more like a tender slow kiss in motion. Both of them could felt what each other couldn't convey in words.

During the kiss, the rain started to pour down, so they stopped kissing due also to lack of oxygen and then Mark looked at the sky. It was exactly like the night in New York but the difference is that now he's not alone in this fight.

For the first time, Nark felt like he was finally letting go of that night. He knows that it's not going to be easy but as long as Lexie is beside him, he can do anything.

He took her hands and then said "Let's go it's getting late."

Lexie only nodded and then they walked together, heading to a new future and hopefully a better one.

Please review. I really want to know what you think of this story.