Fated to always borrow and never to own

Once they were back in the hotel room, Bobby called down for a snack from room service. "You want anything Eames?"

"No thanks, I scored some skittles from the vending machine in the hallway on the way in."

After Bobby ate his snack, he grabbed the extra pillow and blanket off the shelf and started spreading it out on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

"Making a bed on floor."

"Why?"

"There is only one bed, remember?" Bobby said as he gestured towards the bed.

"We shared it last night" Alex replied.

Bobby walked over and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. "Alex…last night you were already asleep and I was out the minute my head hit the pillow, but Honey…"

Wow, she thought, did he just call me honey? Not to mention actually using my first name twice in the same day? Maybe I'm not the only on thinking unprofessional thoughts about my partner. Bobby continued, "Honey, we are both wide awake right now and we've had a great day. If we share that bed tonight…I don't think either of us is ready for what could or rather would happen."

Alex reached her hand up and gently cupped his cheek. "OK, I know you're right. Thank you."

"For what" he murmured.

"For just being you." She moved her hand in a small light caress before she turned and moved away. "Good night Bobby"

"Good night Alex."

The nightmare came like every other night. Alex started to turn from side to side. "No… No… Bobby… NO"

The uniform next to her kicked the door open and she went in, her gun raised. One of the perps had his gun pointed at another mans head. It happened in slow motion. His arm swept around so that his gun was pointed at her. Her training took over and she felt her finger squeeze the trigger. 'Eames?' he cried out as he fell. 'NO' she screamed as she saw what she had done. 'No…Bobby…NO' her gun fell to the floor and she ran to him but it was too late. She had got him right in the heart. She picked up his head and rocked his lifeless body, tears and screams racked her body. His eyes popped open (that's never happened before) 'Alex, Alex, I'm here, its ok. Come on Honey wake up now'

Alex jerked awake, the scream trapped in her throat, her face wet from tears. Bobby had her wrapped in his arms. She clung on to him and cried. He let her cry without giving her all the meaningless platitudes people tend to say like; don't cry, it will be alright. He didn't know if it would be alright. Her nightmares were obviously far worse than he imagined. When her screams woke him up it sounded like she was in excruciating pain. He wondered again if this was what it was like for her when Joe died, but she said there was no similarity between then and now. If that was the case, he couldn't even start to imagine the kind of pain she was in then. He felt ripped to shreds inside to hear her emotional pain now and know that he was the cause of it. Alex's grip loosened and he thought she was starting to calm down, when she started pounding on his chest.

"Damn You! Damn you! Damn you!"

Bobby just laid there and took it, he knew there was no defending himself. When she finally did calm down, Alex fell back to sleep, his arms wrapped around her.

When Alex woke again, the sun was shining in through the gap in the curtain. Bobby was gone. Her first thought was that she had driven him away last night, then she saw his overnight bag on the dresser and knew he was coming back. Alex was embarrassed by her breakdown during the night. Alexandra Eames, NYPD Major Case Detective does not cry. At least not when someone is around to witness it. She pulled herself together and went into the shower.

When she came back out, he was back. Bobby was setting out cups of coffee and Danishes. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. The jeans he had picked up at the store yesterday when they had bought their park attire, and the t-shirt was one he had bought at Cedar Pointe. "Morning," he said. "Been up long?"

"No, just long enough to shower. Bobby about last night." He didn't let her finish, instead he picked up a Danish and put it in her mouth.

"Eames look, you're going to say you're sorry for waking me and that you're sorry for crying and that you're sorry for hitting me." Bobby absently rubbed at his chest as he said the last part. "But you know what partner? There is nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad I was here for you and I wish I had been there for you before. Now let's eat."

Damn, she thought, he knows me so well, even Joe never understood me this well. Alex nodded her head and sat down to enjoy breakfast.

Between bites Bobby said, "There is one last thing I want to say about last night."

"OK, what?"

"Tomorrow I am calling Dr Olivet and scheduling us an appointment."

"I told you, I already saw her and I told you what she said."

He reached across and took her hand. "Alex, I said, for US, not just you. I really think that this is something that we are going to have to workout together."

"You may be right, I haven't done so well at handling it on my own have I?"

"No!"

Next chapter-keeping the nightmares at bay