Hey guys!
I'm back with the fourth chapter of Reluctant Hearts!
By the way, thanks to this people that inspired me to write this chapter:
enemrizza, kisa-bun, Ninjah Keewi, Nils, Dark-Lady-Hel…
So now, here's the story. Enjoy and don't forget to review, okay?
Standard disclaimers apply, as usual…
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Chapter 4: Trepidation
Hotaru's POV
A blinding light seared my eyes as I opened them. Huh? Where am I? The last thing I can remember was the cold water filling my lungs. And speaking of lungs, ugh… it hurts. It feels so hollow. I tried to touch my chest, to see if it's still there, but soft warm hands prevented me to do so. That was when I became aware of my surroundings. The undisguised gasps, the humming noises, the bright, different shades of questioning eyes, all boring into mine, as my eyes adjusted to see their faces. It felt very uncomfortable. It's like I'm a science experiment gone wrong, or something that merits a strict examination under a microscope.
Uneasy feeling, I don't like it.
"Hotaru…" a sweet voice interrupted my stupor as I looked at her, chocolate brown eyes, full of questions and worry.
"Mi-ikan…" I said. Wrong move. Not only did my voice sounded so hoarse, my lungs contracted painfully in my chest.
"Hotaru, thank goodness, you're alive! Don't do that to me again… it shortened my lifespan. I thought I was walking through a real horror story. I was only brave and worried enough to take a closer look. Why did you do that anyway?" She said, not even giving any consideration that I just woke up, and probably didn't understand half of what she was saying and that my body feels so heavy and sore and... what is she talking about?
"What are you talking about?" I voiced out, ignoring the ugly hoarseness and painful contraction.
Her already questioning face turned into a more clueless one.
"You mean… you don't know what happened?" She said, uncertainty lacing her tone.
"Would I ask you if I did?" Duh?! I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, though that would be the least excruciating thing to do, as I heard someone snort. Mikan seemed to ignore it since she never took her eyes from me.
"Hotaru, I don't know how to say this…but, you're here because we found you drowning in your tub, yesterday afternoon." She said seriously. I blinked.
Why would I drown myself? I'm not a lunatic to do that…I'm not crazy…I…shrugged those thoughts away mentally (it hurts to do it physically, every inch of my body feels really, really sore.) Unable to comprehend, I asked her.
"Drowning? Why would I drown myself?" Now it really hurts to talk.
"You don't remember anything? Anything before that?" she asked.
"I- I think I know what you're talking about…" Then the events of last night came flooding back to my mind, overwhelming me.
"I was only taking a shower." Or at least that's what I intended to do. "I'm not planning on drowning, much more in killing myself, if that's what you're thinking." I said, fully remembering everything, even the events that happened before that which caused my heart to skip a beat, in a bad way.
Then, I felt angry. This is HIS entire fault. If he hadn't let me fall for him this hard, I wouldn't be in here, lying in this sickening white hospital bed, trying to explain to this stupid people that I didn't drown myself out of something so crazy. Heck, I wouldn't feel so depressed in the first place!Suddenly, I felt the impulse to shoot him with my BAKA gun endlessly, but my body refused and withdrawn in agony. I must have whimpered in this for Mikan slightly tightened her hold on my hand.
"Are you alright, Hotaru?" she asked, so concerned. I took this as an opportunity to gain an excuse.
"Yes, Mikan, it's just that…I want to rest. Can you please ask the others to leave?" I said all complete with the tired, weary eyes and now rasping voice.
She smiled. "Of course Hotaru, that's the least we could do." She said, then kissed my forehead and gave my hand a little squeeze. "Rest well." She whispered before turning back and grabbed Natsume's hand while talking to the others. Slowly, after they said their 'Get well soon' remarks, with an exception of Natsume who just nodded, they dispersed, and I was left again, in this deserted room with white washed walls, with no other sound beside my obvious struggle to breathe properly.
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Normal POV
"Doctor, what happened to Hotaru?" Mikan asked as she was walking down the hospital hallway with Natsume and Hotaru's attending physician.
"Ah…Ms. Sakura, I believe that your friend momentarily suffered GAD-General Anxiety Disorder. Though, in her case, it's not really clear as to what caused her to experience this since she didn't manifest the symptoms of the said disorder." He said.
"An anxiety disorder with an unknown cause? Can't you think of any? At least give us some explanation." Mikan insisted.
"There are different factors affecting the psychological being of a person, but, I think in Ms. Imai's case, it may be caused by too much thinking. She must be pressured and stressed because of all the work she has to do, although that's only a probability. You also said that she's a very private person. She doesn't have an outlet, where she can vent out all her frustrations or other things that's bothering her." The doctor explained.
"But what about her inventions, aren't those good enough to be her outlet?" It was Natsume who asked the question.
"That can be a good outlet, but that doesn't always give us the comfort that we people generally need. We need a person, someone that would listen to us and sympathize with us. Those machines-whether they can talk or do chores, are still machines and mere objects. This problem, may not just be psychological, but as well as emotional. Keep in mind though; this is all just probability, since we never really know what happened to her." He said, having put his diagnosis board down.
"Well, that's all we want to know, thank you doctor." Natsume said at the same time grabbed Mikan's hand and pulling her.
"Thank you, doctor. Please take care of Hotaru." Mikan said, looking back to the kind man.
"I most certainly will, Ms. Sakura."
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"Hey, Polka" Natsume started.
"Don't call me that." Mikan pouted, and crossed her arms in her chest.
Natsume ignored her retort and continued. "I don't think what happened to Imai is because of the pressure. I mean, she's been doing this for almost six years, and we haven't seen her breakdown or go through any sickness." He looked at her.
"Are you trying to say that there's something more?" she asked.
"Yeah, I believe so. She can always cope up with strenuous jobs, but this is really unusual for her. If it is so, then why only now?" he pointed out.
"I can see your point, but what might the reason be?"
"That, Polka, still remains to be a mystery."
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Wow!
I'm fishing this fic as soon as I could since I won't be visible for the coming months because I'm entering college! Yipee!
Two more chapters and it will be the end…
Anxious to find out what happens next, well, that depends on your reviews!
Anyway, stay safe guys! Please review!
Till next chapter,
Spring Emerald