-1I don't Hate You
ItaNaru
Yippee! Christmas update! I didn't get to use the 'do you like cheese' quote last time, so it's in this one. I was talking to Marc about the last chapter, and when I read 'Like you haven't done that in your pathetic life time' he said 'Kudos on insulting your audience.' I didn't think I was insulting you. Itachi was just talking to himself. Sorry if you took offence. .
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I don't own the Christmas song.
Snow is falling, all around me
Children playing, having fun
'Tis the season, for love and understanding!
- I can not get these damn Christmas songs out of my friggen head! Fuck that freaking shark! We are members of the Akatsuki, mass murderers, A rank criminals! - we are not the friggen Gospel Choir!
"Cheer up Itachi-chan!" shouts my new best friend (I really cant get rid of him, no matter how hard I try)
"Fuck off Tobi"
"But Ita-chan!" cut's in Deidara.
I silence him with a glare. Why do people think they can talk to me that way? Whatever happened to striking fear into people hearts with just a look? Whatever happened to my pride? Actually, I know exactly what happened. My forbidden relationship with Naru happened. Seriously, what are we? In a relationship? Does that make us boyfriends? Lovers? Mates? Or are we just two guys who like to flirt? And hug? And kiss sometimes? Since the beginning I have been very open and welcoming of this, and Naru's even suggested dating - sort of. But this relationship is forbidden on so many levels. Such as the fact that we're both guys. Naru's also only 13, giving us an eight year age gap, Naru's a Konoha ninja, I'm an Akatsuki member - which is a little like Romeo and Juliet, except they only had a one year age gap and if they weren't from rival families there relationship would be completely accepted. How do I know so much about Romeo and Juliet anyway? To be honest, I think its high time I was allowed to just scream!
AAARRRGGHHHH!!! I'm not GAY! I'm not a paedophile! I'm not a 13 year old girl! And I don't like 13 year old guys! Jeez!
Everyone's staring at me. Dammit! I REALLY need to work on the whole 'don't say things out loud' thing.
"Hey Ita-chan?"
Glare.
"Maybe you should get away for Christmas? Get away from it all?"
I'm not a stressed mother, but that does sound like a tempting idea.
"Here." Dei hands me two tickets, then leans in to whisper. "Tobi and I were gunna go, but we really wan to spend Christmas here, with our Akatsuki Family." ha! "So why don't you make good use of the opportunity with your blonde?"
I gape. Does everyone just know? First Kisame, then Zetsu, then Deidara and Tobi? Can't a guy get some privacy?!? I look down at the tickers anyway… Oh. My. God. How much of a pervert does Deidara think I am? Damn blonde winks. Well, I'm out of here and- BANG!
Ouch! Who the fuck… OHMYGODNARUTO! What the hell is he doing outside our lair? I should probably move him to a safer place. The trees. God, I love my trees.
"What the hell Itachi-chan! I'm kind of on a mission here!"
"You stay down there and you'll be in danger." - see, now that was smooth. Well done Uchiha! Naru is… on the hugging thing again. Does he ever stop hugging me?
"YOU DO CARE!"
… no shit Sherlock. Wait… I DO care. Ah, shit…
"Lets go away for Christmas." I can't believe I'm actually going to suggest this. "Just us, no stress, no Konoha, no Akatsuki." he looks like he's about to cry. Jesus Christ, what did I say now?
"THAT'S SO ROMANTIC!"
Fuck, I am going soft… damn Deidara! -ngh.
This place is huge! Gigantic! Wow!
"Look, look, Itachi-chan!" - and Naru actually can't shut up. "There's only one bed!"
I blanch. Fuck Deidara, that pervert.
"I'll sleep on the floor."
…
"That's no fun…"
When I said no stress I didn't think of the fact I'd be spending Christmas with Naruto did I? I'm going to get frown lines. And I'm torn between laughing and crying.
"Then you sleep on the floor."
He pouts.
"You're so old Itachi-chan!" what the- that little- I'm only 21! I could murder him sometimes! Like I'm supposed to… yeah okay, we've already gone through the fact that I cant kill him, so just fuck off will ya? Anyway, I need to protest? So what should I do? Yes, that's right, whack him round the head with a pillow! Yeah! -URGH! DAMN DEIDARA! Anyway, he hits back, and thus starts the pillow fight to end all pillow fights. Call me old now you fool!
"Ouch! Ow, ow, ow! Jesus Naru!" he stops hitting me - thank god! - but he's smirking, which is NEVER a good sign.
"Naru?" he says.
Fuck, I forgot your not supposed to just randomly give nicknames. "err…"
"That's cute. Your cute."
Mass murderer! I'm not cute! . he does realise we're technically enemies right? He flops down on the bed and looks at me innocently. Well, as innocently as you can get when your flopped on a double bed with your hair ruffled and your cheeks flushed (from the pillow fight!) and legs spread apart slightly. Damn bastard. - damn sexy bastard.
"Done your Christmas shopping yet?" asks the blonde. I shake my head, who would I have to buy for? "I've got gifts for everyone but you and ero-sennin" if I holding something I would have dropped it. That pervert teacher? He's still around?
"You don't need to get anything for me" I haven't received a Christmas present in years, I wouldn't know what to do with it! Heh! Naru stands up and leaps on me, wrapping his arms around my neck.
Close… contact… shit!
"Itachi-sama?"
Sama? Oh he is so doing this on purpose. MANIPULATIVE WIFE!!!! God, stop it with the pressing of your body up against mine thing will you Naru!? Its really… distracting. Fuck.
"Itachi-sama?" he pouts. "I if don't get you a present, then what do you want?"
I push him off me roughly.
"So no funny."
"But you could have anything you wanted."
"Stop it!"
"You're so cold!"
"I'm being responsible!"
"Well let loose! I know what I'm doing!"
"You're 13!"
Do we ever stop fighting? I glare at him, and he glares right back.
"Where are you going?"
"Out." I'm going Christmas shopping, if it means that much to him. I don't know what I'm getting myself into, but that damn blonde bastard has me wrapped round his little finger.
When I get back Naruto isn't here, so I wrap up the gift I got in the wrapping paper I got. Because I'm thoughtful like that! I don't know why everyone gets so worked up over Christmas anyway. The door opens and Naru enters. He glares at me.
I got Ero-sennin's present."
I glare at the table. Good for that bloody pervert.
"Hmmm…"
"It's only two days 'till Christmas, so I'll have to go home to give it to him."
My head snaps up so fast I heard the clicks loud and clear. Ouch. He's not even teasing! That bastard said he'd stay with me over Christmas! Meaning he doesn't go home until Christmas day had passed. Besides, if he goes home now that pervert might kidnap him. No…
"Make it a belated gift, he's old, he wont care."
"No."
That's it? No? "You don't need to go all the way back just for him"
"Do you know why we fight so much?"
Should I care? I know, it's my fault right?
"It's because you're so damn in denial of any feelings you have for me, yet you get so damn jealous!"
I'm not in denial, I know I like him more then I should do. But I am not jealous. This is simply a matter of pride.
"Fine. Merry Christmas. Go home if you wish." freaking bastard.
"You don't care?"
Okay, this is the point at which I snap inside.
OF COURSE I FRIGGEN CARE! We're supposed to spend all of Christmas together! I hate that you want you to go back to see that pervert. I hate that you spend so much time around my manipulative little brother, I hate that pink bitch you had a crush on, I hate the fact you have me wrapped round your little finger! And I hate the fact that I don't really care that much, because I don't hate you! In fact, I friggen love you.
Naruto jumps on me and I fall over. What the hell? He sits up and grins.
"I love you too you bastard."
… I really need to work on the saying things aloud thing. Although, I guess it's not ALL bad. Sometimes it's okay.
"Hey Itachi?" bliss!
"hmmm?"
"Itachi the cannibal! Do you like cheese?" cannibal? WHAT THE FUCK? CANNIBAL? Way to ruin the moment Naru!
"I, err… I guess?"
"Good! Because I brought cheesecake!"
And so we have cake - Yes!! CAKE! And Naru loves me - which SHOULD be slightly disturbing… but on the other hand YES!!! WAHEYY!!!
And we had a very good two days 'till Christmas!
Christmas:
"Merry Christmas Itachi-chan!"
Err…
"Open it!"
Rips open present… Oh. My. God. What the fuck? How does he think he'll get away with this…. Probably because he will.
"It'll be great!" no…
"I'm not doing it!" no…
"I'll do it!" no way! Has he never heard of pride? "Come on!"
Crap, this is going to hurt. "No, that's okay."
"Wimp."
I AM NO WIMP! - "Fine then! Just do it!" What am I DOING? "Get on with it!"
Ow. It freaking burns! Ow.
"You are such a wimp!"
Sigh - and now I have my ears pierced. All thanks to Naruto I look even more like a girl. Fucking bastard.
"Here." I shove the box unceremoniously into his hands. Serves him right since my ears feel like they're on fire! You cant just DO that to my EARS!
"OHMYGODITACH-CHANIT'SSOCUTE!!!"
Thank you shop lady…
Naru jumps on me, it's a habit of his, and hugs me. Mind the ears you bastard! But all is calm, Naru still hugging me, sitting on my lap. I lean down and kiss his forehead without really thinking about it.
"Hey Itachi-chan?"
Crap, was that not allowed?
"Hmmm…?"
"Are we together now? Like Boyfriends?"
I smile.
"Yeah, I guess we are."
- shit, I'm gunna die young.
Okay, simple cute fluffiness for Christmas, not as funny as it could be. I know. But I wrote, and typed this in A DAY. It kinda all sort of just spilled out in a great GUSH. Hope you enjoyed it! I really can't tell you when I'll next update, cuz I don't know. - ha 'I Don't Know' XD but yeah, so, it'll be sometime before 2010. ^^ - Od23