I know that a lot of people heading off the war in the old days used to write letters to themselves so that when they came back they could remember who they were and reflect on how they had changed as people so I thought it fitting to do a similar thing with Hermione. She seems like a very level headed person in the books but I am sure even she had her moments where it was almost too much. This is my take on how she coped with it. The prompt if you will, for this is 'reflection'

July 4th 1997

Dear Hermione

Firstly I suppose the question is, why am I writing a letter to myself? Many reasons I suppose. I was never a girl who wrote in a diary, certainly not after second year but I had always been that way. I saw no point in writing down what I thought when I could work it out rationally in my head. Yet you know that.

I hope that I survive what is to come and that many years from now I can read it and look back on everything that will happen with a smile on my face. Though I know it's not rational or realistic, I hope we all survive this war. Because that is what it is. War. There is nothing nice of forgiving about it. That becomes more obvious everyday. There is no right way to do this. Things like house points seem so irrelevant now. The sorting hat always said we had to get past house rivalries. It seems it was right. Evil doesn't care if you were a Puff or a Claw.

If I read this in ten years time I would be twenty seven years old. What will I have in life? Who will still stand beside me? What will I have lost by the time you, I, read this?

Was it worth it?

I look back on six years of school knowing that next year it may not open it's doors, that is could be destroyed as some sort of sick trophy for the Dark Lord. What will you look back on? Will there be anything left?

I remember the toll and the potions, the three headed dog and the giant chess set and at the time I thought it was awful, that nothing could ever be that bad again and then next year I was petrified and again Hogwarts nearly fell. Will you look back on my time now, at seventeen, and wonder why it can't be that simple again? Is it only going to get worse?

Is there anything to fight for?

Harry is falling apart. I know he pretends he is fine but he is not. I know he is not. I can see the pain in his eyes. It's always been there but now it never leaves and that breaks my heart because though he is in pain now, I know that even if I do everything in my power, he may not live to see you read this. I may not live long enough to re-discover it.

No one wants to say it but it's really only a matter of time before the ministry falls. It can't cope and everyone knows, they are just to afraid to admit it. It's funny, the things you take for granted. Yes, it was dysfunctional, and flawed, but it was still there. They still did something, they still tried to keep harmony over out world and now it teeters so close on disaster that I can hardly bear to read the newspaper anymore.

I'm going to alter my parents memories tomorrow. You must remember how hard it was, how guilty I feel. I wrote them a letter too. Do I find the courage to give it to them? I wonder if they will be safe. Thousands of miles away with no idea I exist. Is that enough to save them? I suppose if the Death Eaters really want them to use against me then they will find them. Do they make it? Do they ever forgive me for what I must do just to give them a chance to survive?

Even if we do survive, what waits for us? Does the wizarding world survive or will it crumble under the strain? Will people I know made it? The Weasleys, Padme and Parvati, Dean, Neville or Luna? Will we get out of it unscarred or will others suffer Bill's fate?

Looking back the arguments with Ron, the saga with Harry and Fudge, the endless worry over exam results. It all seems so trivial now. It's like you don't appreciate things properly until you lose something that really matters and we are just realising it. That scares me to because it makes me think of what I surely still have to lose. My prefect badge or near straight O's are not going to protect me from Death Eaters. That much, I can see.

Perhaps I will look back in ten years and think that this letter was trivial and pointless, chastise myself over having better things to do and honestly, I hope that day comes, because at least that means that there will be a future for me to feel that way.

Sincerely

Hermione Granger