This is the 9th letter out of ten so only one left and then everything is finished.

I own nothing at all. Everything is just a figment of my imagination and I make no profit whatsoever.

July 6th 1996

Dear Sirius

I never really paid the attention to you when you were alive that you deserved. I took it for granted that you would be here whenever I needed you, whenever Harry needed you. I worry about him. He is taking your death very hard. In fact sometimes I think he is refusing to accept you are really gone. Sometimes I find it hard to accept you are really gone.

I didn't always agree with your opinions. I thought some of your ideas were rash and illogical but the idea that we will never get another note or fire call from you again is very hurtful. It hurts all the time. I'm grieving for you Sirius and sometimes it feels like I hardly knew you, and that just makes it all hurt more. It's not the way things are meant to be. Even if I thought you're stay in prison meant you never really grew up, doesn't mean you didn't deserve to live.

You're life has been snatched from you twice now and both times it hurts Harry more than people really know. He needs to talk about it but he wont and I can't understand why! Unfortunately he has dealt with death before so he must realise that bottling everything up inside won't help him! I want to help him more than anything, because I know you would want him to go on, but I can't if he refuses to help himself!

Death makes you think Sirius. I never really faced it before, not a person I know, not someone who was in the prime of their life, not someone who wasn't ready to go. It makes me think about the world I was dragged into when I turned eleven years old. Where was the advice and guidance that I needed? I still find things in homes, shops, streets and even at Hogwarts that confuse me because I am Muggleborn and what seems natural to a pureblood, to the point they don't bother explaining it in a book, boggles me!

Our world is polluted. I think I always knew that but your passing made it so much clearer. It's polluted with prejudice and hatred. It's polluted by people from old pureblood families that think they know better but are twisted by years of incest to the point where logic alludes them and they can't see magic will die out if people don't mix with other 'blood groups'. It makes me wonder why you are not like that? Why you were able to break away from one of the ,most deluded families of all. I have read all about your family and the things they have done. Seems to me you were meant to be different, meant to be on our side, to show people you didn't have to be that way. Yet now you are dead, thought a murderer and the very thing you never wanted to be. It's wrong, like so many things in this world, it's wrong. You deserve better.

My magic works just like everyone else's. My grades are in fact, better than a lot of purebloods in my year but yet I am considered unworthy and incapable of dealing with magic. The government is riddled with purebloods or half bloods who hate to admit what they are. Muggleborns struggle through life in this world and many end up leaving this world all together, hiding who they are and trying to forget it happened until their child gets their letter. They become a list of statistics and it astounds me that people can think that is ok. Would they rather we were untrained and hurt people, possibly exposing what they see as 'their' world in the process? I hope it is not always this way, because I don't know if it's worth it if it is.

This whole war is a swirling pot of irony. A war fought by death eaters to rid the world of muggleborns, yet in this second round of conflict, a pureblood of one of the oldest and most respected pureblood families, if one of the first to die. It hardly seems right, though I would like to think, that that sort of twisted humour would amuse you. Things like that always seemed to cause a rare smile when you were with us.

Everything is escalating now Sirius. I can feel it. I would like to think that you are watching us, guiding us, though I don't know if I believe that's at all possible. People are disappearing now. It's more obvious than before and Fudge has been removed as Minister. An ex-Auror takes his place and I hope this means we can move forward and make your death mean something. They saw the Dark Lord that night, in what's left of his flesh. I can only hope this means they will actively try to fight against him now. To save people while they still live to be saved.

I only hope it all ends swiftly like some sort of twisted blitzkrieg. You were killed by Bella, your own cousin. The Dark Lord has polluted this world to the point where family strikes family down as if they are strangers. I wasn't there, but surely that says enough.

We want to win this war Sirius. We want to win for everyone who isn't here to fight for the future themselves. For you, Mr and Mrs Potter, Bertha, Cedric, the Longbottoms, the Prewitt brothers and everyone else who has fallen to the Dark Lord and his terror. It doesn't even matter anymore that the Longbottoms are alive, because the way they are now, well, you can hardly call that living.

That might seem like a horrible thing to say but Sirius when I joined this world, I never thought I would be a solider in a war to survive at 16 years old. I guess the pollution of the wizarding world is starting to taint me too. Maybe that is why I have to stop it, before it consumes me and I'm just another Muggleborn statistic.

Sincerely and with love,

Hermione Granger

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Comments are love. I'd love to hear what you think before the last letter