So I finally felt like ending this. About time since I started in right before season 2, and that's a year ago! Sorry, it isn't any longer but as earlier mentioned I find it hard to write this because it's set before season 2. And I really like the way Rufus and Lily ended up together in season 2. Wasn't the engagement just the cutest?

Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any of the characters.

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She was so confused. Lily knew that this might not agree with Serena's ideas but she felt like it would be the right thing to choose Rufus this time. She had chosen Keith van der Woodsen over him 20 years ago because of her mother. Then she chose Bart Bass over him six months ago because of Serena. Maybe it was time to choose for herself. Lily felt like no matter what, fade would always bring them toward each other, and she always thought they would eventually come together. But she was a married woman. She had made a commitment, she thought. But then again, she did that four times. And she already cheated twice, while Bart had most likely cheated a much larger number of times. She didn't even want to think about that. Rufus and Lily had spent the most amazing night together and now it was time for her to make a choice.

"Serena?" she called down the stairs.

"What mom?" Serena yelled back. She was clearly busy with Dan. Lily went to look down the stairs.

"Could I talk to you in my room for a moment?" Lily, halfway down the stairs, politely asked.

"Sure." the teenager sighed and got up. "Be right back." she told Dan. Both of the van der Woodsen's went upstairs and Lily closed the door behind them after entering the room.

"So..." Lily began, as Serena interrupted.

"What is so important that you had to cut into my date?" she asked, sounding pissed.

"I wanted to ask you something quite simple."

"Go ahead."

"What was the worst thing that could happen if Rufus and I were... a couple?"

"Worst? Um, Dan and I could become siblings?" Serena pointed out quite upset. "Are you seriously considering that mom? You just got married three months ago! God, for once in your life please make up you mind."

"I did."

"Huh?"

"I want to be with Rufus."

"Oh my God, mom."

"Look at it this way: Assuming you love Dan as much as I love Rufus. What if you had to break up with him because of me?" Lily began.

"I kind of do." Serena cut in.

"No you don't, let me finish. Then you live the next 20 years of your life still equally as in love with him as always. You meet him again realizing just how big of a mistake it was for you to leave him. You don't work it out this time either because your daughter begged you not to. Then you get a third shot. Would you take it?"

"I couldn't even imagine living my next 20 years in such unhappiness..." Serena stated, then realizing something. "Wait, that's what you did? Mom are you crazy?"

"Serena, sometimes we need to make some choices for ourselves out of consideration for our family. I did that a couple of times now, and you know what? It didn't work for me. Look who I've become. I was just like you when I was young – what a difference. And I have become this person because of those choices. For once in my life I think maybe I should make a choice that also serves to my own happiness." Lily went on. "But of course I don't want to do it if it destroys your happiness."

"Mom. I had no idea you felt that way. I wouldn't want to live the rest of my life knowing that I was the one keeping you from being happy. Even if it might put my own relationship on stake. But I think Dan and I will work it out, we've been through worse." Serena told her.

"To say the least." Lily agreed, laughing. "So does that mean..? Are you saying that I can give this a shot?"

"Yes, I'm giving you my blessing." Serena grinned. "You act like some kind of teenager, you do know you are the mother, right?"

"Serena, I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that. Thank you so much. And to tell you the truth, sometimes I'm not sure." she joked. Lily pulled Serena into a hug.

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As happy and relieved Lily felt, at the same time she felt oh so guilty. She would actually have to break up her fourth marriage. And she cheated twice already. Who had she become? Was she even sure Bart was cheating on her? She needed to talk to someone about this.

"Lily?"

"Hi Rufus." she replied walking into his apartment.

"What's up?" Rufus asked, and suddenly Lily couldn't hold it in any longer. A tear ran down her cheek. He pulled her into a warm embrace. "It will be okay, Lil." he comforted, caressing her hair. They went to the couch and sat there for a while in silence, his arms around her.

"Rufus, I just feel so guilty. Especially after I talked to Serena. After I explained how I wanted to be with you –"

"Wait, you want to be with me?" Rufus interrupted, smiling. She punched him playfully on the shoulder and kept on talking.

"...she was really understanding. She was so unselfish as to give me her blessing! I feel like I'm so selfish destroying the happiness of my daughter and my husband just to gain my own."

"Lily, you owe it to yourself. And to Bart. Do you think he deserves to be married to someone who doesn't love him? And even worse – loves someone else?" he asked.

"Of course not, I really care about Bart." Lily stated, still crying softly.

"I know it's hard ending your marriage like that, but sometimes it just doesn't work out." Rufus said, stroking her hair.

"But I mean, we barely gave it a chance. Bart did business most of our honeymoon." she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Neither of you gave it a chance. But it is what it is." he said kissing her on top of her head.

"It's all my fault." Lily cried. Rufus kissed the tears away from her cheeks. "And I do want to be with you. I always did." she continued, still sobbing. Their lips met in a soft but meaningful kiss that told her everything would be okay. He would always be there for her.

"I love you, Lil." he said as they looked each other deep in the eyes, their foreheads touching, their lips only inches from each other.