Chapter 3

The once great machine city stood desolately, its remaining towers looming over the cliff casting a poignant shadow across it. The setting sun streaming through the cracks, struggling to reach its way to the cliff as a means of warmth. Breath-taking, but eerily so. A once sparkling metropolis, reduced to ruins as an unforgettable reminder of the omen of devastation that they had set out so long ago to destroy. No-one could deny it was beautiful sight, but it was sinister and intimidating. It was always there to remind them of their objective and it only ever grew closer, causing nerves and dread to increase to dangerously high levels. The whole group was on edge.

They were finally here.

Zanarkand.

The day was finally drawing to a close, and the group decided to make camp in a small cavern located on the cliff. Everyone was long since asleep, exhausted from the endless trek. He, on the other hand, was restless. His mind was elsewhere and it had kept him endless awake for nights on end.

Alone, sat on the edge of the cliff, with his legs dangling over the edge was a man, who had now truly classified himself as an emotional wreck. A frown was clearly prominent on his face, as he tried to comprehend his imminent future. Arm muscles tensed as he clenched the dirt beneath him. The only sign of vulnerability from him was the occasional shudder, as he watched the sun be slowly dragged down into the horizon. It no longer seemed to be the striking view that he had loved in his Zanarkand. It no longer made his spine tingle in wonder, but now in helplessness.

The silence was the worst. It seemed unbreakable. It was never ending, and no-one wanted to break it more than him. But when he spoke, he almost felt as though he was committing sin. Almost as though he shouldn't ruin the over-hanging silence. He hated how the landscape could have such effects on the dynamics of the group.

Night time had given him a lot of time to think. To think about the journey they had come on, the people he had met and how much everyone seemed to have changed. But nobody had changed more than him. That is what he was most thankful for.

It was an epiphany really, he suddenly realised, that back in Zanarkand, he was exactly what he never wanted to be. His father. Always lapping up the attention and charming the ladies, leaving behind everyone who ever cared for him. Everything he had despised in his father was exactly what he was becoming. Or at least it would have been, if it wasn't for Auron and sin, for giving him the second chance he was so openly thankful for. He wondered, if maybe, his father wanted to save him from himself. He was no longer a testosterone controlled youth, selfish in his needs and overly indulgent in his wants.

This were where she came in, and oh how just the though of her made him smile. Even in such desolate times, worn with fatigue and despair, the image of her could make his face light up with joy and his eyes sparkle with adoration. Never mind Spira, she was his ray of light. She – without meaning to – had turned him from a lustful teenager into a man. It all began with a theory Auron liked to call 'the hunter and gatherer'. Ever since the youthful blitzer had seen her trip down those ancient stone steps in Besaid temple, tears ever so slowly trailing down her cheek and her skin glowing from the dancing candlelight, he had wanted to be the one who could catch her. He wanted to chase her. He wanted to protect her.

At first he thought it was just by means of being a guardian. By defeating fiends and such. He'd laugh at how ironic it was really. It was a good job he was Yuna's guardian, or his feelings would have been easily revealed. He couldn't exactly remember when, but all of sudden he wasn't just protecting her because of her importance to Spira. There was suddenly so much more heart in his actions, so much more passion and need. He finally realised he was protecting her, because, well – he loved her.

The anonymous feeling first approached him when a certain cobalt haired maester threatened to take her for his own. He had never warmed to this mans peculiar character and it seemed Tidus was the only one who could instantly see past his courteous demeanour. First impressions were not positive, and Tidus knew as soon as they had been beckoned to Guadosalam that things were certainly not going to go in his favour.

Back in Zanarkand – he admitted – he could get whatever he wanted, because of his recognition. He admitted he was not used to jealousy and couldn't control it well. Trying to convince everyone that Yuna was going to marry for the wrong reasons was his way in trying to show he was only saying it for her benefit. In reality, he just wanted someone to come out and tell him:

"Of course she isn't going to marry Maester Seymour, she loves you."

Of course Yuna could never be so blunt, but Tidus didn't really understand just how focused she was on her pilgrimage until she said she would marry this Seymour simply because 'it would benefit Spira'. The thought made him sick. Not marry for love? Didn't she deserve to be happy?

He couldn't believe Seymour was going to get his way, he was overcome with this feeling that made him want to wrap his hands around Seymour's neck until he face went blue and he collapsed to the floor. He had no idea what was becoming of him, and the only one who seemed to be on his side was the one he least expected – Lulu. It was hard hiding blinding rage, when the man creating it was so unnaturally calm.

He could see it; see the scene over and over again. He felt like he was drowning, going deeper and deeper until he felt he had to take a deep breath to bring him back to reality. Each time it would take him longer to reach the surface. Each time it would get more and more intense, more real until it made him –

"Want to scream?"

He could see him stride towards her, playing his spindly hands on her smooth shoulders.

He could see him lying her down onto their bed, poisoning her lips with his thin, grey ones.

He could hear her gasp as he made her his.

He could hear her whimper as she was worshipped on her wedding night.

He could practically taste the bile that would churn uncontrollably in his stomach until it raced to his throat, his feelings of jealousy feeding his imagination. He didn't understand why this man should get hold of this untainted, beautiful woman. As immature as it sounded – it just was not fair.

Looking back, he could laugh at himself now. Sure, a merciless, possessed tyrant of a maester was rampaging around Spira, but he had got the girl. And what a wonderful girl to behold.

That night in the Calm Lands had changed his thoughts on her a lot. He had always seen her as careful, cautious and in control of her emotions. But he was so, so wrong. Turns out she was worse at controlling herself than he was – he could hardly believe it himself. That cold night on the Calm Lands allowed them to reveal themselves much more to each other, the first time they were together without hesitance or caution. You had to be gentle with Yuna, he had always thought – take your time. To be brutally honest, he never really thought she would ever be so courageous as to turn their frantic kissing that night to the next level, heightening their desires to unbearable new levels.

From then on, he knew he would have to keep an eye on her. He had to make sure that they weren't going to get caught in the act – not now they had come this far. Their meetings had become fewer and further in between. They unhappily agreed it was for the best, nothing good could come out of it.

But an arctic night at the base of Mt Gagazet soon changed his mind.

It had all happened within a matter of minutes. The group had finally settled to make camp and no sooner had the guardians placed down their packs in relief then Lulu had begun to assign them all tasks to ensure them a more successful dinner then the previous night. Several groans of frustration could be heard as one by one, the guardians left the makeshift campsite to complete their task – such as collecting firewood or checking the surrounding area for fiends.

Tidus was pleasantly surprised to find that he had not yet been allocated a task to complete, and revelled in his new found freedom by leaning against a fallen, barren log to rest his tired body. He could hear the all too familiar clanging as Lulu rummaged in her pack for the pots needed for the evening's meal, and Yuna not too far behind him searching her pack for the flint needed to start the fire.

His mind began to wander, as he felt himself almost drifing away to sleep, only to jolt upright at the sound of Wakka clumsily dropping a few small logs onto the ground before him. Wakka rubbed his hands together, praising himself at his speed in completing his task and allowed himself to take a seat next to an agitated Tidus, before hearing Lulu calling for his help. A curse came from his lips and he turned around once again, ignoring Tidus's laughter as he trudged towards the busy black mage.

Tidus closed his eyes once again, desperate to be given just a few minutes of peace.

His wish of course, wasn't granted, and soon enough he heard the shuffling of hurried feet and someone sitting down beside him.

He huffed in annoyance as the blitzballer shuffled ever closer to him' "What now Wak-"

A finger pressed against his lip. A soft, surprisingly warm, delicate finger that caused his lips to instantaneously purse. He opened his eyes and responded at the sight before him with a doting smile as she agonizingly, slowly dragged her finger down her lips, down his chin until she let her hand return to her lap with a quiet sigh.

"What's the matter Yu-"

He was silenced again, his arms instantaneously reaching to wrap around the warm figure that was leaning into him. All worried words, were fought away, or lost between them as his lips were caught by hers. Movements were frantic, senses heightened. An all too familiar aching heat, swirling in the pit of his stomach against his will…

Nevertheless, as soon as feeling came, it soon departed, leaving an unwanted feeling of emptiness as he felt Yuna's lips hurriedly pull away from his own. Feeling slightly dazed as Yuna's face became stricken with worry as Rikku walked back into the camp. Her hands literally clasped together in prayer, hoping that the young al-bhed hadn't spotted them.

Oh thank Yevon, she hadn't seen. The pair of them quietly sighed with relief, knowing that they had had far too much luck bestowed upon them. They hardly had time to be thankful however, as the Al Bhed began repeatedly asking for the summoner's help, completely unaware of their recent interaction. Yuna replied immediately with hasty nod of the head, trying to prove that both she and Tidus were innocent and merely partaking in conversation. Yet as soon as Rikku's back was turned she leaned forward and whispered heatedly in his ear:

"I'm ready…"

Furrowed eyebrows faced raised ones, and still the young blitzballer did not comprehend the summoner's words. Yuna ignored his questioning and soon left him, scratching the back of his head in confusion. Completely baffled.

Ready? Ready for what?

So deep in thought was he that he didn't even become aware of the return of the agitated guardians, or the sudden darkness that swept over them.

"What the hell did she mean exactly…?" he muttered, utterly unaware of Wakka flapping his hand wilding in front of him to try and bring him out of his state of bewilderment.

First thoughts were certainly not welcomed. Ready for death? Why would she suddenly be so blunt about such a taboo subject?

A light flickering was the first thing that caught his attention, and then the increase of commotion as the Guardians began to hover around Lulu in anticipation of the coming meal. Trying to bring himself from his spell, he focused on the fire. How long had he been gone for?

"You alright man? You've been in a daze, ya'?"

There was a hint of humour in the Blitzballer's voice, but Tidus's only response a harsh nod – focusing all his attention on to figuring out Yuna's impulsive words. Couldn't she at least have given him a clue? What was the point in her telling him something when he couldn't understand? Why so cryptic? Why did she have to be so quiet and secretive about it, it wasn't like was anything to do with just them-

"Holy Shit!"

All eyes on him. Worried, shocked, concerned. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, noticing a slight flush on Yuna's cheek.

"Er, no worries! Just…" He turned his back from the huddle of Guardians from shame, "…forget it…" he muttered to himself, tossing another log into the fire.

He tried to act natural; he really did, with the guardians around him, caught in conversation. But he couldn't. How could he? What with Yuna sending him longing glances over the flickering fire and his over energized heart that he wished would return to normal.

Now he knew. He knew what they were going to do, what was going to happen… He reached out for Auron's jug of sake and gulped nervously, ignoring the look of confusion on both Yuna and Auron's faces.

The though of it made him shudder with nerves, worse than the first time.

That was just over a week ago. He couldn't really believe his naivety. Just a few weeks ago, his main worry [along with saving Yuna] was the sudden nervousness of a possible intimate encounter. Now, he didn't know whether those feelings were a priority. Whether he was even real.

He felt guilty; as he let the days almost pass by in a blur, hoping it would cause them to pass quicker. He had finally realised it hadn't. It only made it worse. Worse by seeing her broken smile as she tried to hide her own worries. He tried to hide it from his mind, but it always seemed in his eyeline, flashing before his eyes. There wasn't a single time where he didn't grimace at the sight.

Mere days they had. A couple of weeks, if he was being optimistic. Just two weeks left of being with her. Of his life being complete, of being with the only woman he had ever loved…It made him want to sob.

That's right Tidus, crying to yourself in the night is very heroic…

And as he sat near the cliff edge, torn between sobbing or shouting, feeling suddenly very alone and surrounded by the bleak setting, a certain summoner seemed to sense that her recently-very-mysterious lover was no longer in his sleeping bag.

He didn't really know how or when it happened, but one minute he was alone and crying miserably to himself and the next he felt an unrecognisable but welcoming fragile body shyly clamber onto his lap. There was only one person who had hands soft as silk to gracefully wipe away his tears. It looked like she had some of her own too.

Time passed, with little words in between. There was nothing left to say, both felt awful guilt at showing such raw emotions, when they should have acted optimistic. Yet both felt comfortable enough with each other to be honest. They were near the end. Both had secrets they wouldn't reveal. It was almost humiliating and yet welcoming. It was far beyond what either of them could bare, or what they should have to endure, and the only person who would truly help, was the other.

There was the warmth of skin, the intimate embrace. Lips clumsily caressing, encouraged by soft sighs. It should have been perfect; their united bodies basked in the moons glow.

But it was a broken picture. An intimate embrace, on the brink of desperation. The need for the others frantic touch. A grasp from one, causing almost a sigh of pain from the other. Only tearing away from each others lips when he sobbed quietly, receiving a comforting 'shh' in return. His hands caressed her face, again and again. Diminishing those tears that he saw all too often. It was exactly what both of them had craved, yet it was dissatisfying. It was all in the wrong circumstances, and with a heavy burden weighing on their shoulders, and their emotions. He didn't want her to cry, hell - he didn't want to cry.

And she didn't want him to hold her like it was the last time. Didn't know how or why, but his arms were too tight. Like a prison. Not in the sense that she was trapped – that simply wasn't possible, it wasn't the right word to describe it. It felt like he was, well, scared. Aqua eyes open wide in a frenzied, almost manic manner. Trying to show words that he couldn't, or wouldn't form. Words that were too sudden, or almost forbidden to be said.

'I'm sorry'''…

…"I love you"…

…"Goodbye?"

Heavy, broken breaths. The rustle of hair, by his rough fingers. It didn't seem enough, yet almost overpowering.

Then, everything went quiet, except for her shuddering breath. His eyes fell on rosy cheeks, swollen and pursed lips and autumn hair swept around her flustered face. Eyes, red from emotion. She barely had time to notice his longing eyes, before she felt herself arms around her back and herself being tilted ever so slowly to the floor. Lips were soon to find hers; it was soft, hesitant as always.

But, she knew something was different. Something that made her arms shake slightly when she reached behind his neck to pull him ever closer. Something that made her more aware of everything: the cold and unbearably uncomfortable ground she was laying on, the feathered hair that tickled her cheeks and the warm embraced lips that seemed unable to leave hers.

A touch, a mere touch, causing her legs to bend, her body to tense and her breath to hitch. It was just a kiss; if you could call it that…all he did was let his upper lip curl, a lingering caress on her perfectly arched neck. His soft lips going to unchartered, untouched territory.

It felt like a bolt of lightening. She didn't know where it had started, but it rushed down her body and made her back arch slightly. She admitted, she couldn't warm to all these involuntary actions that he caused. But if was worth a mere touch from him, to fill his swollen, pursed lips mere millimetres from her neck, hearing him pant quietly, his warm breath sending a flood of passion through her yet shudders down at the same time, she was more than willing to put up with the side effects.

It was leading to a sensory phenomena and she knew, this was only the beginning. She hated to admit that she had been shielded from this part of growing up, but he was stirring things in her she didn't know, or barely recognise.

She could still feel the dew on his eyelashes, even the occasional tear as it trickled down her neck- leaving a trail which his lips eagerly followed. Lips lazily placed on her skin, hands entwined with hers.

It grew quiet. Still. Her eyes bean to close, a soft sigh escaping her lips.

What if she ran now? Whether for one night, or forever, was that so wrong? Was it really such a sin to want the one you loved? Surely, she of all people – was entitled?

"T-Tidus?" She barely whispered, a hint of nerves in her words. Almost wishing she hadn't broke the pristine silence.

Soft, supple lips left her neck reluctantly, lingering on the white silk on her skin for as long as he dared possible, before slowly lifting his head up to meet her adoring, yet nervous gaze. His eyes, glassy and her eyes searching, for the right words to say.

"A-Are you okay?" he asked against her blushing cheek, his lips pursed as he began kissing the rosy skin.

Her eyes dropped, but the grip she had on his arms seemed to tighten, anxiously clinging onto his embrace.

The Blitzer tucked stray auburn hair behind her ears, running his thumbs across her smooth cheeks. "Yuna…?"

Barely a whisper, spoken with such concern that is made her body quiver. "Do…you trust me?" he continued, placing an innocent kiss on her forehead.

"Yes…" She whispered breathlessly in response, as he removed his lips and leant his head against her forehead.

After a few indulgent minutes of silence, tender lips pressed lightly against her forehead once again, before the young man slowly began to raise himself, offering his hand out to the vulnerable looking summoner as they both reluctantly rose to their feet. Instantaneously she felt the tug of his hand, the corner of his lips forming his boyish smirk.

She hadn't seen in it in so long…

"Tidus what're you do-"

In true Tidus-like fashion, he cut off his lover's apprehensive words, enveloping her with her strong arms and disallowing her from causing herself only more hassle. And although, his lips did allow Yuna's concerns to waver, she was becoming all too aware of his almost death like grip on her waist – pushing all of the last remaining air out of her lungs.

Then there were cold hands on his chest. Unbearably cold. Her fingertips dancing delicately on his surprisingly warm skin. Teasing by twiddling with the corners of his shirt. She smirked and he groaned lightly, his grip tightening to dangerous levels. It was unbearably intense, it ached and it was making the pair horrendously hot and bothered.

But it seemed reflex actions were against them, as the pair was forced apart by their body's need for air, with burning throats as a consequence. The pair leaned into one another, catching their breath.

The taller of the two, chucked slightly, calming the intense atmosphere and slowly-almost agonisingly-pulled away from Yuna's embrace, before leading her back into the depths of the cave.

The summoner grimaced as the boy stumbled over the drowsy guardians, not taking any particular care in his route and still tugging eagerly on her hand, "Tidus! What are you d-", the summoner whispered sharply, stumbling over Rikku's expertly placed pack, which was crammed with Lightening marbles, bomb fragments and other deadly items.

She tutted to herself quietly before carefully steeping over the equipment and ridding herself of Tidus hand, to prevent any more near-death experiences as he sneaked through the cavern in a hap hazard method.

And so, the summoner stood in the middle of a snoring Wakka, a drooling Kimahri and a fidgety Rikku, watching her closest guardian tip toe cautiously amongst the group with expertise, biting back her tongue to prevent her from bursting into a fit of giggles.

It didn't last however, as the blitzer seemed to quite literally fall at the last hurdle, tripping not so gracefully over Auron's bracer, sending him head first over Auron, with a 'woah!' of surprise and onto the hard stone floor and causing Yuna to literally snort in surprise.

This is course, did not help the situation one bit, as one teenager –squirming on the floor, with his hand clamped over his mouth to stop his hysterical barks of laughter and pointing at the other teen in amusement- and the summoner- falling to her knees, laughing so intensely is was beginning to hurt, wheezing in an attempt to gain oxygen as tears pricked the corner of her eyes tried urgently to gain composure for fear of waking the other guardians, yet secretly indulging in the first real laughter they'd heard in what felt like a long time.

Between the outbursts of giggles, she pressed a finger firmly against her lips as sign for the blitzer for quieten down, although the act itself was meaningless as she once again began to feel the laughter rising up her throat and causing her to bit her lip to stop it passing her lips.

The boy ignored the sign completely and instead replied with a breathlessly comical "You shut up!" holding his stomach as the two attempted to gain self control. And then…

…A soft sigh, and the rustling of clothes coming from the other end of the cavern.

Lulu.

Their heads shot up, like rabbits in the headlights, their breath shallow and barely audible. A panicky cloud of condensation coming from each breath, the only sign giving them away. The pair kneeling like they had both succumbed to a basilisk's stone gaze.

Please, please, don't wake up!

Seconds, minutes, hours it felt like, as neither of them dared to move in case it awoke the irritable black mage – who was known for having a sharper sense of hearing than that of a behemoth. Minutes seemed to go by until Tidus – sometimes known for his overconfidence- made a 'phew' of relief, dramatically wiping the 'sweat' of his forehead, bringing a hesitant smile to his summoner's lips, though he could tell she was still on edge.

After the exaggerated sigh of being in limbo, the blizter slowly rose to his feet and lightly patted the dust of his shorts and nodded eagerly to the entrance of the cave.

As she gradually rose to her feet too, Tidus reached behind him and picked up his pack and slung it over his back, wincing at the sudden weight. She chuckled lightly before reaching her hand out for Tidus to hold. He grasped onto it tightly and –being much more cautious than before- stepped lightly over Auron (and his deadly bracer) and found himself pressed tightly against Yuna, clinging to her waist to prevent her from toppling backwards onto a certain purring guardian and both of them laughing hesitantly.

With some effort, the two of them finally stumbled out of the cave, finding them selves once again at the place where the whole clandestine exercise had begun, still holding onto each other. One of them, puzzled about the whole disguise and the other, suddenly nervous at his initial plan and that his summoner would consider him very reckless indeed.

"So…" She began cheerily, trying to contend with an abruptly tense Tidus, "…Where exactly is so far away or important, that you should need to take your pack with you, hm?"

His eyes were focused on her once more, although his concentration was more fixed on her lips, grazing the cool skin along his collarbone as she stood on her tip toes, and not to replying her query.

"A relaxing week in Besaid?" …

…"A cruise along the Moonflow?"…

…"A romantic weekend in Bevelle?"

He couldn't help but laugh at the last suggestion, "Sure thing Yuna, if a romantic weekend to you means running from a group of old, grumpy, not to mention dead Maesters"

"Well, I'm used to a life full of drama and adventure!" She exclaimed happily, throwing herself into his arms and laughing softly. He laughed softly too, she sounded just like back in the spring, when they were talking about going to his Zanarkand, so free, so happy.

"Well," he suggested softly, kissing her hair, "Maybe that's the problem Yuna." The summoner raised her head slightly, resting it on his chest and allowing him to continue. "Maybe…you spend too much time caught in all this chaos, right? And, maybe you just need to…"

"Need to, what?" she murmured sincerely, watching his serious features change to that of the typical Tidus she knew, with a beaming smile and sparkling eyes.

"Spend more time with the wonderful me, okay?" He beamed cheerfully.

"Okay.", she replied, with a hasty nod of the head and the beginnings of a smile. "I want to spend more time with this Tidus though." she began, poking his chest teasingly, "Not the one who had been putting on a façade these past few days. I know, it's hard for you, but it's hard for me too and seeing you so upset doesn't make this any easier…" she began, going off at a tangent and sending her into hysterics.

"Yuna, stop working yourself up again, kay?"

"I'm trying! You don't think I've been trying? I have barely talked to anyone in days! Nobody should ever expect me to be able to handle this on my own-"

"-Yuna?-"

"-I'm sacrificing myself for the rest of Spira; don't I deserve just the tiniest bit of happiness-"

"-Sure you do Yuna-"

"I have barely come to terms with it yet. I'm going to die. I'm actually going to die-"

"-Yuna stop it, you aren't gonna die, okay?-"

"I'm just so scared that I'll never see anyone again, I won't ever see your face again-"

"YUNA!"

She physically winced at his words, taken aback by his tone, a haze of desperation and demand. By this point, the helpless young woman had gotten herself into quite a state. Small streams of tears now ran down her smooth cheeks, her eyes looking vulnerably through him. Her body, frail and shaken, heavily supported by the strong hands grasping her shoulders to bring her from her daze. She was tense, stunned, with hardly any response to Tidus's actions at all. Damp hair was moved tenderly from in front of her swollen eyes, and the trails of wetness kissed away.

"I'm gonna' make it all go away Yuna." He pleaded, shaking her slightly to try and get some response.

Yuna felt the all too similar prickling at the corner of her eyes, and her eyes involuntarily squinting, forcing out more tears to cascade down her face. And with her arms raised outwards to him like that of an upset, weeping child to a parent, she reached out to the only person who would ever truly understand. He took her in his arms and rocked her gently, kissed her forehead, ran his hands through her hair, held her hand. Anything, anything at all which could help relieve her of the pain.

"I'll make it go away Yuna", he sobbed repeatedly, almost like a prayer, as if each time he said it, it became more and more believable. "I'm gonna make it go away, I promise."

And with a dangerously high level of hopelessness, fear and desperation, he took her by the hand and pulled her back the way they had come. Through the steep, sloping paths, leading to the caverns that connected Mt. Gagazet and the Zanarkand Ruins. The place where there journey had changed for both of them.