La Enfermedad Mortal
Chapter 10: BEWARE: This is Graphic!
-------
PEOPLE LOVE ME!!! XD I THINK… WELL, STATISTICALLY, SOMEONE HAS TO, RIGHT? AND THAT CAN INCLUDE ME. ONLY ME. I'm watching the err… 'Top 100 music videos for 2006' on C4. It starts at 1pm and goes till 9pm. It's 1:47pm now and they've only done 10 videos. More time spent on pointless ads and poor jokes by the presenters! BLAH!!! I NEVER KNEW THE RACOUNTERS (SP?) DID 'STEADY AS SHE GOES'! I LOVE THAT SONG! YOU FING SODS! XD (err, the presenters, not them.)
-------
I don't own the Gorillaz. My crush/inspiration and his boyfriend do. OH! THE FEELERS! …ONLY AT 89??? Damn, this thing is messed up… I hope I come across El Manana… was Dirty Harry made in 2006 or 2005…? Meh, I'll find out soon, it was a bit of a hit here. I REMEMBER THAT DARE WAS NO. 1 FOR 2005!! MAN, I TURNED IT UP AND SUNG AND DANCED SO HARD!! Hehe… James Blunt was 99 before Rihanna… sucker! Anywho….
-------
23rd May 2006. 6:10am.
Noodle's eyes blinked open hastily as she made a dramatic escape from her nightmares just crawling with dark silhouettes and demonic creatures. She wiped the sleep out of her eyes and ruffled her untamed hair as her eyes darted around the room adjusting to the darkness. Her mind only throbbed lightly for now but she knew something much, much worse and unbearable would sneak up on her when her back was turned. The light was dying. The Japanese teen sobbed dryly and walked towards her window in her plain bedroom. She drew the curtains and stared out into the dark grey skies surrounding her in the early morning. Muggy, black clouds crowding over her giving off a gloomy depressing mood to match. But Noodle saw out beyond the horizon and the bright burning sun and promise of a new day. Tears stung her eyes as the sky lightened up with a warm glow to the earth. It was a beautiful sight. The only thing that could kill a magnificent dawn like this was when corpses stood up to compliment it.
She couldn't take it, she remembered hearing 2D's gentle sobbing and even the tearing of his heart. She should never have told him. Murdoc was right, she should have just lied and pushed him away. There was nothing to do. Nothing to get through and know there was something to look forward to at the end of the day. Her life was meaningless from now on and only the pain could turn agonizing. She would rather end it now and after a long ponder on it… she decided she would… today.
Noodle silently walked out of her bedroom and into her darkened kitchen. Wandering mindlessly and looking for a weapon of choice, whatever was available and quite… inconspicuous. She made her way to the sink and stared down into its deep black hole to the infinite drains. Her hand slowly found a drawer and she pulled it open carefully trying not to influence the contents to rattle. She peered inside and saw the silvery light reflecting off the cutlery. And she found just what she was searching for. A gleaming large meat knife. The perfect weapon.
A small psychotic smile tinged her face as she picked up the knife and examined it thoroughly in her trembling hands. She gripped the handle tightly in her right hand and took a finger from her left and gently stroked it across the tip of the knife, leaving a long red line of blood and a sharp piercing feeling that felt, strangely, relieving. Noodle tried to shake the feeling and wiped the fresh warm blood away from her finger. She opened up the curtains in the kitchen and stared out to a more distinct sunrise. She took in a deep breath and started her regrets.
"… I'm so sorry it had to come to this… I just… I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I can't bear to see my friends suffer… they love me so much… why? I was just the guitarist to them, a band mate, a backing vocal… the Japanese girl who looks like a boy. Well, that was depressing." Noodle sighed and shook her head miserably as more memories flooded her mind. "But I've had the time of my life. It's only a shame I didn't have enough time to fully enjoy it and truly appreciate what I had. I should've treasured every second I spent in Gorillaz…. It was paradise… pure paradise… the music, the fame, the money, the friends… I had it all… How could I have not seen that before it was too late…?"
"… Murdoc J. Niccals… the bassist. The man who started all this and opened my lid to my success as a guitarist in an astounding rock band. Without him, I would never have gotten this far. Still his ridiculous habits of constant womanizing and the large quantity of alcohol did actually put me off at times. Not to mention his daily abuse to 2D… but he wasn't so bad… He truly was my Uncle Murdoc… I'm so sorry… I did my best in your band and I hope I was the guitarist you had always dreamed of… May you find someone else as equivalent as I."
"… Russel Hobbs… the drummer. My father figure. I was like a daughter to him. We almost shared the same likings and hobbies. Like when we cooked, we made such mouth-watering delicious pies… I'll miss that… But he always looked out for me and took in consideration… that I was there. In interviews, Murdoc just sucked up the glory while 2D stared into space and Russel brought me back in. He knew me well and when I was feeling lonely… he always knew how to cheer me up… except this time… Take excellent care, Russ."
"… Stuart Pot. 2D… your sweet dreamy flow of vocals just melted my heart every time you sung. It suited the music just right. You were wonderful… I know we never actually communicated with one another that much… but I had always liked you… I even had a little bit of a crush on you. Your spiky azure blue hair was beautifully smooth and bright. Your hollow black orbs vacantly glared out in a… sentimental sort of way. Every time you walked past me, I would take a deep breath and inhale your pleasant butterscotch fragrance. You're near-toothless grin, undoubtedly, always made me smile. I'll miss you the most… you were the reason I left… but I did it to protect you and myself from this pain… It was the most difficult aspect for me to face… and I have a feeling that it was for you too… I'm sorry I'll never be there to defend you or keep you company any longer… It's the thing I'll regret the most. I regret never telling you how I feel about you… even though the age extent was nearly 13 years… I still loved you… and I still do… Goodbye 2D… See you on the side… I'll see you all on the other side… not too soon though. You will all lead great lives… and your success and fame will dramatically double with your future hits… it is what I would want for you… you know that…"
Noodle had crystal clear tears shinning in her eyes and down her face from her emotions colliding for a final stand and resolution. Her clammy hand clung to the knife with sweat. Her breathing was uneasy and deep mixed with sobs. And her life literally flashed before her eyes. She shut them closed and took the knife in both hands and adjusted her hold.
"I'm unimaginably sorry that it had to come to this… but there seems no other way… I can't live with that burden," she whispered hoarsely through quivering dry lips. She moved the knife's position so it pointed into the pit of her stomach. The splitting edge just held inches away from her skin at a threateningly dangerously angle. Just what she intended. She opened her pleading emerald green sparkling eyes and looked up through the ceiling and into the skies above. "Please forgive me…"
The Axe Princess soon regained her title as she gently pulled the knife towards her body. She let out a small gasp of surprise as its tip pierced her skin lightly with a sharp prick. She gulped hard and clenched her eyes shut as she reeled it back and then drove it into her stomach again rapidly. The knife broke the surface of her skin and sank down into her flesh as Noodle let out a sudden yelp of pure severe agony. She groaned and bent forward over the knife as blood gushed from the wound and soaked her hands and clothes. The red stains seeped down onto her pants and Noodle grasped the knife tightly and slowly pulled it out from her gut. She yelled out again as more blood spurted from the massive cut and streamed down her disintegrating figure. There was no going back now. Her warm essential liquid supply grew short and it flowed out her veins.
Noodle pulled the knife fully out of her flesh and looked down upon it gleaming with her own blood. She gaped for air and threw it away across the floor and she dropped to her knees. She tasted the blood in her mouth, rising from her throat and she spat it out fiercely. Her vision became slightly blurry and the unbelievable pain made it seem like frost was running through her shaking form repeatedly. She exhaled forcefully and her upper body came crashing down to the floor limply. She moaned and stirred on the floor completely helpless. Her body was lifeless and she felt so cold… all she could do now was wait… wait for her pulse to slow… her breathing stop… and all her pain to cease forever.
"… Sayonara… sayonara," she whispered slowly using up her last breath of life. She gently closed her eyes and breathed out all the carbon dioxide in her entire body and held it… her heart pumped no more… her mind totally shut down… all feeling in her limbs was lost… she didn't breathe in… only shed her last tear of defeat… She was gone.
-------
PSH! Now that's dramatic! Right, I wrote all that for you guys and I was like THIS CLOSE to giving up 'cos it seemed too difficult but you are SOOO lucky! So a few reviews, yeah? Man! How am I going to handle the last chapter!! I bet Valda didn't sit around watching Lost at 12am with her dictionary and substantial laptop. Or maybe that's just how every tragedy-fic writers function… I just hope it's not based on experience or anything like that… I DO NOT PROMOTE SUICIDE, I JUST WRITE THIS 'COS IT'S WHAT I DO BEST. Adios amigos! Ciao!
-------