A few minutes after Ben was done checking his email, he felt he needed a break to get the thoughts filling his head out. He pulled out his IPod with slow, steady movements. The small white device smiled up at him. Several thousand songs was on it. Ones he had heard since he was little. Ones he had only heard once, but fallen in love with. If he would ever find himself stranded on an Island all alone, all he could imagine taking was this one thing. This small and insignificant machine. It had everything he needed on it. Music that moved him. Music that invigorated him. Music the pass the time and music to fill the dark void. AC/DC's Highway to Hell flashed on the display and he took a second to appreciate the intro. Now that is a damn good song, he thought to himself as he laid back down on his bed. He quickly switched away from the song and found another better suited for his mood. Despite his desperate desire to stop the thoughts fluttering in his head, he began to think.

'Take a walk, you can hardly breathe the air. Look around, it's a hard life everywhere.'

'People talk, but they never really care. On the street, there's a feeling of despair. But every day, there's a brand new baby born.'

'And every day, there's the sun to keep you warm. And it's alright. Yeah, it's alright'

The song triggered thoughts he didn't know he was struggling with. Sometimes Ben thought to hard on things and sometimes he didn't think at all. Sometimes he just let go and followed his instincts. Reflecting over the habit, he found that the times he followed his instincts was probably the times he was most successful with what he did. The song rambled on softly in has ears and his mind soared further away. Ben was definitely not the kind of person to give up on things he wanted. Kate. He really liked her but he never told anyone. Anyone but Keo of course. He didn't really trust anyone but Keo, he thought with deep sadness. His mom would just open her big mouth and tell Kate's mom and he definitely didn't want that. He knew the people he surrounded himself with. He knew his friends. His family. His mother was pretty much the only family he had and he didn't trust her as much as he did some friend?

'Every night, on the streets of Hollywood. Pretty girls want to give you something good.'

'Love for sale, it's a lonely town at night. Therapy for a heart misunderstood.'

'But look around, there's a flower on every street. And look around, and it's growing at your feet. And everyday, you can hear me say….'

He sometimes wished he could just tell Kate. Tell her about how he felt about her without stuttering and making a fool of himself. He also sometimes wondered what Kate would say or think of him if he told her he liked her. It was odd, really. Kate was the only girl he had ever really liked. There had been plenty of dates. Girls who were fun to hang out with, but none of them right. He knew who the right one was, but couldn't find the courage to just tell her. He wished he could runaway with her. Take them both someplace far away. Just get in a car and drive. His rational mind knew that was just a fantasy. All though… a part of him remembered two people he had once met. Dean and Sam…. They had lived like that. Lived on the road. Always moving, never standing still. No routines, no rules to hold them back. They were free. But he knew that was just a really dumb fantasy.

'I'm alive. I wanna take all that life has got to give.'

'All I need is someone to share it with. I got love and love is all I really need to live.'

'I'm alive I'm alive!'

His mind took him back. Back to when things were simpler. He remembered all the times he got picked on. Kate had always been there for him. She had always known that he would do the same for her too. In a heartbeat.

Keo had always insisted that the two friends were soul mates. Especially after the kidnapping where the three friends had become so much closer than they ever were before. Keo still insisted that Ben and Kate were meant for each other. Ben knew Keo wanted to tell her that Ben liked her. The very thought of her knowing gave Ben chills up and down his body. Ben would have to slap him around a little bit if that ever slipped out. The thought of Ben and Keo fighting caused a flashing smile to appear on his face for a second. Ben slapping Keo upside the head.

'And every day, there's a brand new baby born. In every way, there's enough to keep you warm.'

'And it's okay. And I'm glad to say, I'm alive. And I don't care much for words of doom.'

'If it's love you got, well I got the room. It's a simple thing that came to me when I found you.'

His mind wandered back to the previous thought; if Kate liked him too. Every cell in his body hoped she did. Kate was pretty, smart, funny and popular. Everybody knew and loved her and how could Ben blame them. She was special. A hundred times better than Ben. He didn't deserve her, he knew. But they had something together. Something no one could duplicate or imitate. He knew her essence. Knew her very soul, like they had spent a lifetime together. The realistic part of his brain knew there was no way the two could get together. No one really knew who he was and everyone knew her. It wouldn't fit. But the harsh reality was washed away at the mere thought of burying his fingers in her soft, dark hair. His lips gently caressing hers. Teasing kisses and shared looks. If I'm nobody it shouldn't matter to anyone that she's going out with me?... Right?

His idealistic and obscure thoughts were brutally interrupted when his cell phone rang. The song Paper Planes by M.I.A filled the room and drowned out his IPod. He didn't even know why he had that stupid song for a ringtone. What was so amazing about it when all the girl sang was 'all I wanna do is BANG! BANG! BANG!'.

But then he remembered that Keola picked it out. And that's why you never let him pick out your ringtones EVER!!! He picked up his Envy2 phone and looked at the caller ID with a light huff. It was Keo.

"Hey Keo…what's up…?" He said sighing tiredly.

"Hey dude. Are you going to that party tonight?" Keo asked in a happy voice.

Ben sighed again and punched his pillow into a more comfortable position. "I don't know man…I'm kind of tired." He lied.

"Aww come on, Ben. Let's go! Kate's gonna be there!" He said hoping that Ben would say yes.

Ben could easily hear the luring sing-song tone in his voice and couldn't help the little smile at his friend always trying to fix him and Kate up. "Yes Keo, I know." Be answered in a smart-alecky voice. "But what does that have to do with anything?" He asked, trying to fake indifference. Leave it up to Keo to bring something like that up. Ben already knew all his tricks. He always used the excuse 'Kate will be there' when he wanted Ben to go somewhere with him, and Ben really wished he didn't but somehow he always fell for it.

"I don't know…. Maybe you two can talk or dance together or something. I mean your gonna have to admit to her someday. You can't keep it in forever and, dude… neither can I."

Ben sighed again and started picking at a loose thread in his pillow. "I know I can't Keo. And I know you definitely can't either." Ben said, vaguely hoping that Keo would get mad and hang up so he wouldn't have to go. He knew it wouldn't work because it took A LOT to get Keo mad.

"Dude come on. Stop tryin to get me mad so you don't have to go." A brief second of silence filled the line and when Keo spoke up again, Ben could practically see the grin on his face through the wire. "I'm actually just on my way to see you anyway. Be there in a few."

Ben frowned in regret. "What? Keo…" He huffed. "Come on….really??" Once again he was dragged into something he didn't really want to do. And once again he really didn't like it. But couldn't say no to Keo once he showed up at Ben's front door. The guy had a look he could give you. That one look was one he used constantly when he needed to talk his friends into doing something.

Ben sighed and surrendered saying bye and see you in a sec. he hung up the phone and pulled himself out of bed. He dragged his feet downstairs and saw his mom on the couch with book. He smiled at the sight of her frown as she completely immersed herself in the novel and embrace whatever fantasy world it had to offer. He studied her for a second and wondered what is so amazing about books?

"Mom, I'm going out" He said in a complete lacklustre tone.

Lisa's eyes snapped away from the pages of the book study Ben. He was getting so tall. "With whom and where?" She eyed her son cautiously.

"To this party with Keola." Ben said hoping she wouldn't let him go.

She looked at him for another second and then turned back to the book. "Alright have fun." Apparently it was a really good book.

Ben sighed in disappointment. He was kind of hoping his mom wouldn't let him go but that didn't happen.

As Ben walked out the door, bright head lights of an 81 Honda Civic flashed his eyes blinding him for a split second. It was Keo. Who else?

Keola watched his friend jog over to the passenger side of the car, but was also lost in his own thoughts. He often wondered about Ben. There was something about his friend that was a mystery. But Ben was still, and would always be, his best friend. He felt kinda' bad for him. For the life he'd been dealt.

Ben opened the door to Keo's Honda and accidentally slammed the door.

"Hey!" Keo snapped.

"What?" Ben barked startled.

"This is an 81 Honda! How dare you!" He said offensively.

Ben rolled his eyes at his friend. "No, this is a banged up Civic…and a crappy one at that."

"Whatever dude. You're just jealous that I have the best car in the world." Keo smiled and petted the dash. "It all about the love, man. If you love it, it will last forever."

"I have absolutely no comment on what you just said." Ben said giving Keo his infamous bite me look.

"Oh I know that look." He eyed Ben and pointed an accusing finger. "That's your I love Kate and Keo more than anything-look!"

Ben sighed again. "Bite me…" Ben glared daggers at his smiling friend. God he's an ass sometimes! I know he's doing it on purpose just piss me off. Keo fired up the car and squealed towards Ryan Humphrey's house.

It seemed forever just to get to this damn party and Ben hated it. The actual amount of time that had passed was probably along the lines of ten minutes. He still hated it. He wondered what would happen when he got there. If Kate was even there? He knew there was a chance Keo was lying to get him to go, but he knew his friend well enough to know he wouldn't deliberately lie about something like that. It was Kate after all. He wondered what he would do if he saw her there. He would ask her to dance of course. Or maybe ask her if she wanted to go somewhere quieter and talk. Both scenarios looked great in his mind, but he had no idea of how to execute them in praxis. With all the thoughts fluttering in his mind, he was too busy to realize that Keola was talking to him.

"Hey, Ben? Did you hear what I said…?"

There was no answer.

"Ben…?"

Still no answer as Ben was completely lost staring out his window with dreams in his head.

"Ben!"

Not even a flicker of acknowledgement.

"BEN!!" Keola shouted starting to get annoyed.

Ben jumped in his seat. "What? What's wrong?" Ben ask completely clueless.

"What's wrong is that my best friend isn't listening to me. I called you like a million times." Keola said, rolling his eyes.

Ben frowned and decided to save grace by simply ignoring the moment of weakness. "Well…? What is it?"

Keo stared at him with a dark and sardonic look. "Were here… dumbass."

Ben frowned again and shrunk out of his seat belt. "Alright... well whatta ya waiting for?" He hurried out of the car, into the dark night. He was assaulted by a wall of music streaming from the house.

Ben and Keo walked together towards the house with slow steps. The drive way was ridiculously large. "I think it's time for you to tell Katie how you feel about her…" Keola said pensively like he had pondered the conundrum for years.

Ben stopped in surprise. "Where in the hell did you get the idea that I'm going to tell Kate anything?" Ben asked in a sharp voice.

Keo stumbled over how to respond. "Well… I'm… I don't know, man…! Why don't you just tell her? An' maybe…. ask her out?" He asked tentatively.

Ben huffed in rising frustration. "I'm not ready to tell her yet that's why…" Ben said and stomped towards the house. He couldn't help but think the night would have been better had it just been left run its course without Ben going looking for trouble. Parties were never fun. Too many people and bad music. A smart man would have just decided to ignore Keo, but nooooo. I have to go and answer the phone! Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! He didn't look back as he pushed the front door open and entered the house.

Keo followed still ready to fight for what he thought was right. "You can't keep it in forever, Ben. You need to tell her someday!" Their shouts were drowned out by the pounding music and their angry stances were cloaked by the teens moving around the house in their own drunken hazes. Only a few people noticed Keo shouting and turned to look at him like he was insane.

"I don't really give a fuck, Keo." Ben said eerily calm. "I'm going to find Kate. See you around." He turned and walked away without looking back. As he walked through the house, he recognized few people he knew and a lot of strangers he didn't.

Lil' Wayne's Lollipop blasted from the stereo and four feet tall speakers. A foul smell reached his nose and made him frown. Great….vomit… and it's only nine pm.This was one of the reasons why he just didn't do parties. His dark thoughts were interrupted when he heard someone calling his name through the loud and annoying music.

"Ben? Ben!" He looked around the room for the voice that was calling him. A face came into view and he immediately recognized the sweet honey voice. Kate…

SnSnSnSnSnSnSn

Sam sat patiently in the car. His brother's baby. He was waiting for Dean to hurry up and return to the car. Dean had drunken almost a gallon of caffeine and suddenly "out of nowhere" had to pee. So now Dean was in the bathroom, busy relieving himself. His big bother always took too long in the bathroom, but Dean insisted that he needed to work on his perfection. What perfection? Sam thought dryly. He didn't even hear his brother return until the familiar screech from the car door shook Sam from his thoughts. They were heading to Cicero and about an hour or two away. Dean was getting quieter the closer they got to Lisa, but Sam didn't want to say anything. His brother was struggling enough. The car pulled away from the gas station and back on the dark highway.

SnSnSnSnSnSnSnSn

Ben froze when Kate came into view. His anger with Keo wasn't forgotten, but pushed aside at the sight of her round, blue eyes. Keo can be such an ass sometimes and he does it on purpose just piss me off. The final annoying thought tickled his brain. He made a mental note to go find his friend and apologize for acting up. But later. Now all he had to focus on was getting through a normal conversation with Kate.

SnSnSnSnSnSnSn

"Sam… Sam…? Sammy? Samantha…? HEY GEEKBOY!" Dean yelled tired of Sam of ignoring him.

Sam flinched as his brother shocked him out his bleak thoughts. "What?!" Sam barked back a little shocked.

"I'm bored. Entertain me." Dean glanced over expectantly. When Sam did nothing but stare back Dean shrugged. "Plus you were ignoring me."

Sam sighed softly. "I wasn't ignoring you, Dean. I was just thinking."

"Well stop thinking, and listen to me a sec…." Dean left the sentence hanging in the air.

"What?" Sam prompted.

"What?"

"You wanted me to listen to you?" Sam guided.

Dean frowned and glanced over at his brother. Then his face smoother out as curiosity took over. "What were you thinking about? A girl?" Dean asked with a smirk on his face.

"No… About how self-centred you are actually." Sam smirked back.

"I'm not self-centred." Dean blanched and shied away with a disbelieving look.

Sam huffed stiffly. "Oh really? Then what's this?" Sam asked holding up his cell phone.

Dean huffed. "Yes, Sam. Your phone will surely prove your point." Dean glanced over with scepticism in his eyes. "Sometimes I think you were adopted."

Sam smiled. "Bite me." He pressed a few buttons and played a voice recording left by Dean. It started innocently enough with Dean talking softly to himself in, what Sam guessed, was in one of the hundreds bathrooms they had frequented over the years. The recording soon turned into a glorification of how Dean was the sexiest man on earth. His brother's deep voice was clearly visible through the speakers of the phone. Sam's smiled widened as Dean went completely still.

Dean's face paled and his breath caught in his throat. "How the hell did you get your hands on that?!"

"Oh it's easy to spy on someone as self-centred as you." Sam said with a smile and packed the phone away.

Dean growled and refocused on the road in front of the windshield. "If I ever see that on YouTube you're dead." He hissed.

Sam laughed at the look on his brother's face. The dark and serious look which made him clamp up after only a few seconds. That look reminded Sam so much of their father. Of how serious he had always been. Sam had only seen him smile a handful of times. Only on pictures did he look truly happy. Sam remembered a picture of Dean and his dad taken when Dean was just three and Mary was still alive. He remembered how happy his father looked in that picture. How happy Dean looked and he found himself wishing his dad had laughed more in his life before he died. He wished Dean would laugh more while he was still alive. Not that Sam expected either of them to drop in the next few minutes, but sometimes time just melted away. Sometimes the job just came too close to comfort. Those moments of sheer panic and fear over his brother's life were what had aged Sam.

Sam then looked at Dean deep in thought. Dean should have a family. His brother should be living the life Sam knew he wanted deep down. He felt so bad for Dean because he didn't have someone who truly loved him. Neither of the two brothers did, but no one had ever been more deserving than Dean. He wanted Dean to have a real family and to know how it felt to be a father. But Dean insisted he didn't want that. Dean kept his game face on and denied having dreams of family and safety.

But his brother knew he did. Sam's entire being was filled with the overwhelming confidence that what Dean wanted most of all was to love and be loved.