Deidara fainted. Suddenly Kisame came outside. "Itachi---? OMG!" Kisame stood, jaw open with a WTF face at what was happening.
Sasori looked at Kisame. "Kakuzu made us do t--oh he fainted." Sasori said, retrieving his weird cord thing but Deidara's dress was lifted anyhow. Sasori fainte.d Fangirls took shots. Sasuke suddenly walked in "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"
Itachi's ear twitched. He got up quickly and looked around. "FOOLISH BROTHER, YOU WILL NOT TAKE THE COOKIES!"
"No the cookies!" Sasuke said, curling up on the floor and broke out crying. "Aww, you made Sas-gay sad, Itachi-san" Tobi said. "...A BILLION TO SEE THEM MAKE OUT!"
"I don't want to make out" Itachi sobbed, and rolled on the floor. Suddenly Pein came walking out the door. "What the hell, everyone come inside NOW!"
"Seriously!" Konan said, putting on her Akatsuki robe. "What were you doing, Leader-sama and Konan-san?" "nothing." "I heard noises from Leader-sama's bedroom!" "...We were palying a game." "Can Tobi paly too?!" "No." "Aww...but Tobi's a good boy. Leader-sama, whose going to carry the fainted people?" Tobi said, pointing to Hidan, Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, and wth Zetsu?
"You pick them up Tobi. If you need help I bet the fangirls will if you... uh... show them your face!" Pein said with a :D Face.
"Okay!" Tobi said, taking off his mask. The fangirls screamed, pciked them up and started all running up the stairs. He had his back to Konan and Pein and put his mask back on. "There!"
Pein had an OMG face. "Hey Tobi, what do you look like? I WANNA SEE DAMNIT!" Pein yelled angerly.
"Then tou have to let me play the game you and Konan were playing!" Tobi said. Konan blushed slightly, only slightly.
"Uh fine. We were playing.. Guitar Hero! yeah.... so, show us your face and you can play too" Pein said.
"Okay!" Tobi said, starting to pull of his mask, but Sasuke woke up and ran up the stairs, with Tobi, and was gone.
NOOOOOOOOO, WHY! WHYYYY!" Pein yelled, pounding his fist on the ground.
"Because you tend to lose things when you ask for them." Konan murmured. "But I've got a headache now from you."
"I have medicines! They're bubblegum flavoured~! It'll make your headache go away, do you want some?" Pein said holding a bottle of... medicine in front of Konan
Konan blinked at it and stared at it then took the bottle and drank it. "IT'S A LOVE POTION!" Some old granny shouted. Konan, having swallowed the entire contents of the bottle already, threw the bottle at the granny
Suddenly Itachi got up and started dancing around the granny. "THE WITCH IS DEAD~!" He began singing, then fell over on the granny. "WEASEL DIED TOO" He shouted, then passed out.
"Dot. Dot. Dot." Konan said outloud, then dragged Pein to the stairs. "C'mon, we're going climbing again."
"Climbing, climbing, up the hotel stairs~ When days are hot, when days are cool, climbing the staircase!" Pein began singing as Konan dragged him.
Konan dropped him for that, going on an origami bird and flew up the stairs, leaving Pein there to WALK his way up. Meanwhile, Sasori decided that he was awake and looked around. "..." Then he looked down. Sasori grabbed his cloak and put it on quickly
"Hehehe, silly woman" Pein said to himself as he got up and... took the elevator. Deidara was still fainted on the ground when Sasori got up.
One of the elevadors came down as it opened, rvealing Zetsu eating someone as he looked at Leader-sama. "OCCUPIED." Zetsu said, probably the first thing he said through this rp as the elevador door shut on him. The other elevador was broken and the last elevador said 'floor 9001'
Pein sweatdropped. Suddenly Itachi appeared out of no where. "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!" Pein sweatdropped again. "Gyahh, I'm not climbing... TIME TO SEND IN THE PEIN RANGERS!" He took out his cell phone, it had an 'intresting' picture of Konan on it. He dialed 1-666-PEIN-RNGS.
Sasori sighed, grabbed Deidara and dragged him next to Pein, waiting for en elevador as well.
Suddenly the wall broke down and there stood Pein's other bodies wearing Power Ranger suits. "THE PEIN RANGERS ARE HERE!" "Whooo!" Pein yelled. "Can you guys make a new elevator?" He asked. "YES WE SHALL!" The larger Pein, wearing pink went up to one of the elevators and started sucking it in like Kirby. He then turned into an elevator.
"Can I come with her, Leader-Sama?" Sasori said, wondeirng why the other elevador hasn't even MOVED yet. "And Deidara? ...I'll rip off Tobi's mask for you. In front of you."
"HELL YES!" Pein yelled, dragging the both of them into the elevator. "THE PEIN RANGERS SAVE THE DAY AGAIN!"
'I think this is why Konan quits the Akatsuki in the manga.' Sasori thought. SPOILER ALERT! SPOIDLER ALERT! "damn you spoiler alerts! You're just as bad as the Neighborhood watch!"
"Oh yeah... well you die!" Pein yelled at Sasori, crossing his arms.
"So do you!" Sasori said. "And Deidara gets himself blown up, Hidan gets buried under the ground...and...Zetsu splits in half. But does anyone seem to care? Nooooo." Sasori yelled back.
"Zetsu looks like sticky cheese when he splits.." Pein said, licking his lips.
"...Leader-sama, I am not mentally scarred and Deidara pulled off a leotard with his mouth. I think I had enoguh brain rapage for today."
Pein looked down at Deidara. "It looks like you're carrying your girlfriend" he giggled.
"...It's called /Sasodei/ for a reason, Leader-sama." Sasori said. Meanwhile, Konon already arrived at the top with Tobi holding on the open buttom in the last elevador. "So /that's/ why." She said to herself, walking into her room.
Suddenly Pein took out five big bottles of 40s and started chugging one down. "W-want some?" He said to Sasori, holding out a bottle.
"...Deidara wants some." Sasori said. "Besides, I think /Tobi/ wants to see Deidara act like a chick. And also make him take his mask off." You evil, evil puppet. "Did you hear that?"
"The walls they speak to us... Too bad I don't understand wall" Pein said, rubbing his hands on the elevator. Deidara started to open his eyes. "Ugh, I feel like I got attacked by a stallion duck, un.."
"No. You just opened your eyes at the wrong time, brat." Sasori said, unceremoniously dropping DEidara on the floor. "Okay, now chug the damn thing down his throat."
Pein opened a bottle and shoved it in Deidara's mouth, holding down his arms with his other hand and sitting on him so he couldn't move his leg. Deidara was mumbling, and trying to get free, but ended up drinking more. "DRINK IT! IT'S FOURTY OUNCES OF PURE HEA-VUN!" Pein shouted to Deidara.
'This should be good.' Sasori thought. 'Deidara drunk? That's...' I THINK IT'S FUNNIER IF SASORI WAS DRUNK. "...I think the walls are speaking again."
Pein stood up. Deidara had his eyes half closed, but he was still awake. He stumbled upwards, falling over and grabbing the side of the elevator. "B-BLAST OFF, UN!" he shouted.
"...Team Rocket much, brat? I tihnk he;s watching pokemon to prove that Sasuke indeed does NOT know pokemon. Electricity is horribly conducted by ground."
"NO UN I-ITS AN EPIC SONG, UN! E-E-EVER-Y-BODY GOIN TO T-THE PARTY H-HAVING A R-REAL GOOD T-TIME!" Deidara started singing randomly again.
". . . I think Deidara's /too/ drunk." Sasori said 'as-a-matter-of-fact'. "...Or he needs to drink more. He;d be scarier if he started to sing 'I'm so pretty' or 'bang bang bang.'
Deidara grabbed another 40 off of Pein and chugged it. "NO THIS SONG IS EPIC IT'S CALLED B.Y.O.B., UN!"
"...Wait Pein how did yu get alcohol in this place anyhow?" Sasori asked, curiously. "...And why hasn't this elevador moved yet?" WE ARE THE TALKING WALLS, B***H. "...I don't speak wall or stupid." You're mean!
"I got them from this odd guy with a lightning scar on his head...." Pein mumbled. "I think I know why we havn't moved." BANG BANG BANG! Pein kicked the elevator wall and it started moving "He fell asleep".
"Oh." Sasori said. "...I think Deidara is going to die of alcohol poisoning if he gets one more of those. I'm getting him a virgin drink next time." ...NO SASORI! DONT' DO IT! "...I said virgin /drink/! ...God dammit I understand wall and stupid."
Ping. The elevator finally reached the top, and really quickly too somehow. Pein headed to his room. "Well, i'll leave you two lovebirds alone" He said, grinning.
"...What the hell Pein." Sasori said. He growled as he dragged Deidara and some how got a bttle of Advil and put one in his mouth. "Advil: It kills the pain." (Get it got it? Good.)
"B-but I did-ent know-uh poopehts got sick" Deidara asked, sitting on the floor.
"Deidara just shut your mouths. /All/ of them. And stop wearing that damn maid outfit!" Sasori said. Tobi finally came out of the elevador and snatched the Advil. "NO! NOW I'LL HAVE TO BE LEADER OF THE AKATSUKI!"
"Y-you, leader?" Deidara giggled at Tobi. "But your just an orange flavoured lollipop!" Deidara said, pointing to a plant.
"I can assure you, my dear, that I am not orange flavored." Tobi cooed. "...I've been mind raped MORE than enough for today! When will this vacation END?" He said, running with Deidara and slamming them both in his room as Sasori went to rummage in his own suitcase to get decent clothes for Deidara to wear.
"BUT I WANT A LOLLIPOP!" Deidara screamed, rolling on the floor. BANG BANG BANG "Hey keep it down with your Sasodeiness! I'm counting my moneys!" Kakuzu, who was now in his room yelled at them in the room.
"Hey! I didn't complain when you tied Hidan with your tentacles! And Deidara jsut keeps hitting your wall because he's more drunk than that last time Itachi went to the bar and made out with that pink haired freak and my grandmother!" Sasori snapped back.
"THEY ARN'T TENTACLES, THEY'RE THREADS!" Kakuzu sobbed, you could clearly hear him crying. "Awww, Mr. Spotted Octopus! Dun cry, un!" Deidara said while hugging a lamp.
"...Your money is getting wet." Sasori said harshly. "Deidara do you know how to take off your clothes?" Sasori said. "And put on clothes? Even when you're drunk I still think i don't ahve to dress and undress you like some Barbie doll."
Suddenly, Deidara jumped up with the lamp, using it as a microphone. "I'M A BARBIE GIRL IN A---" He sang horribly while skipping out of Sasori's room.
"............." Sasori chased after Deidara, grabbed him, dragged him back to his room. "You're NOT goign out like that anymore!" He said. He gave him an Akatsuki robe to Deidara. But due to magically god-mode powers, they suddenly turned into... "What the hell is that?" ...something called a G-String.
"Omg DANNA, UN! THE PENGUINS WANT TO GO BACK HOME, THEY'RE ON YOUR HAIR, EATING YOUR CHILDREN, UN!" Deidara screamed, grabbing the gstring and hopping on Sasori's head.
Sasori did the inevitable, fall. "That's IT someone else but your danna is going to take care of you! But everyone else would sell you off the street or rape you!" Sasori groaned. "...Get off my face!"
"But your face is like sticky cheese, un!...." Deidara began licking his lips. "STICKY CHEESE!"
"Deidara!" Sasori said, trying to pry the other man off of him. "What have you been eating Deidara?!"
"I HAD TWO FOURTIES, UN!" Deidara shouted. "GIVE ME MY DAMN STICKY CHEESE, UN!"
"...Are you drunk, compeltely sane, or both?!" Sasori groaned. "I don't have sticky cheese!" "He does. You'd just have to work for it!" Tobi yelled from outside of his room. "...I need to find out how to make myself more puppet by not having a brain. Cant' rape a brain that's not there."
"I'm the fourth option, un!" Deidara said angerly, crossing his arms. "B-but what do I has to do for teh sticky cheese, un?
"Well first--~" "Tobi. NO! No sticky cheese! "It's in his pants. Which he doens't have on." Sasori just remember thatall he had one was cat ears, a tail, and a zipped up Akatsuki Cloak.
"THE STICKY CHEESE IN IN YOUR PANTS, UN?!" Deidara shouted, pointing at Sasori with a bit 'OBJECTION' in the back. Deidara then ran full force at Sasori, his eyes turning read and pouncing on him. "GIMME CHEESE DAMNIT, UN!"
"NO! GET OFF OF ME!" Sasori said, keeping Deidara off him using his legs on his stomach and swatting his hands away with his own hands. 'Thank god Deidara's not the tallest male.' He thought.
"NO GIVE ME CHEESE OR BE PREPARED, UN...." Deidara then suddenly grabbed a fly swatter (Out of no where o-o) And began swatting the air around him. "OH NOES WE GOTTA GO, THIS IS BAT COUNTRY, UN!"
"...Hey Kakuzu!" Sasori yelled so the other can hear him. "Find a way for Deidara to NOT be durnk and I'll pay you!" "I'll pay more if you stay there!" Tobi said from outside the door.
Deidara had mad fear in his eyes. He rolled into the ball on the ground sobbing. "NO WE CAN'T GET OUT OF THE BAT COUNTRY! WHY, UN!"
"..." Sasori glared at the wall. "Kakuzu if you don't make Deidara undrunk, I'm /burning/ through the wall and all your money with it!"
"Oh no, these walls are fire proof, water proof, electric proof, rat proof, the king from burger king proof and Hidan proof. You can't touch my money!" Then suddenly 'Can't touch this!' started playing.
"Well...I'm pretty sure it's not Chuck Norris proof!" Sasori growled. "Or Tobi proof!" Tobi said, bouncing on Kakuzu's bed (How did he get there so fast?)
"OH NO IT'S NOT CHUCK NORRIS PROOF I MUST FIX IT!" Kakuzu then turned and faced Tobi. "TOBI GET THE HELL OUT OR I'LL TENTACLE'D YOUS"
"Okay! Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi said, running out. "...How can you?" Sasori said. "Let's see if it's Deidara proof too...hey Deidara." Sasori whispered to him. "You can get out of bat country /and/ get some sticky cheese - a lot of it - if you go through that wall."
"OKAY UN" Deidara ran through the wall, but not through Kakuzu's but Tobi's! (OHNOES)
"...Deidara! The other way!" Sasori called to him. "Oh and...you're supossed you change out of that maid costume!" He called
Deidara didn't hear Sasori but fell on the ground with his fly swatter. "HAH THE BATS WILL NEVER GET ME. I AM THE BAT SWATTING KING, UN".
"Deidara-Sempai~" Tobi said, running in his room. "WE HAVE JOINT ROOM!" He said. "Deidara! Ummm...there's an evil bat in the next room." Tobi said, pointing to Sasori's room. "Big evil bat! DEidara-Sempai can't fight it! Now Deidara-Sempai shall stay in Tobi's room! And I sell your stuff on ebay again!"
"OMG DANNA IS AN EVIL BAT?! KILL IT, KILL IT, KILL IT, UN!" Deidara screamed throwing his fly swatter at Sasori. "MR ORANGE LOLLIPOP PROTECT ME FROM BAT COUNTRY, UN!"
Sasori grabbed it. "...Deidara..." Sasori said, slapping the fly swatter on his hand and glared at him as he practically stomped into Tobi's room. "Kinky." Hidan said as he continued to watch Kakuzu count his money. "At least I'm not bleeding on your bed. Be f*cking happy, b*tch."
Deidara screamed and held Tobi in front of him. "BY THEM NAME OF ORANGE LOLLIPOPS I HEREBY DELETE YOU, UN!" Kakuzu who was in his room, counting money glared over at Hidan. "Why are you in here anyways?"
"No idea." Hidan said. Sasori started to hit Tobi with the fly swatter until Tobi ran and jumped outside his window. Sasori started to do the same for Deidara. "Bad brat bad down!" "'Sides, this is f*cking entertainment in the other room." Hidan pointed out.
"Hmmm, maybe we should sell some tickets to fan girls to come watch this" Kakuz said, stroking an invisable beard of his and looking all evilish. Deidara was screaming and flailing his arms untill one of his hands bit Sasori.
"...You know that doesn;t hurt! 'm a friggin' Puppet, Deidara!" He said, trying to get the handmouth off him. "...For minature mouths, these things don't let go." "Probably. They'd probably pay more if they were rolling around having hot sex or something." Hidan pointed out.
"Then go do something about it." Kakuzu growled, not taking his eyes of his money.
"Get your damn thread things to do it! Chugging 40s down Sasori's throat should do the trick. If Puppets can have nosebleeds, I'm pretty damn sure they can get drunk."
"I'm busy counting, you go do it." Meanwhile Pein was in his room, the pillow over his ears. "WE CAN'T STOP HERE THIS IS BAT COUNTRY!" he screamed. Still drunk.
Konan slammed his door open. She grabbed a case of 40 and closed the door and she knocked on Kakuzu's door. "What the f--oh." Hidan said, opening the door, to see Konan as she shoved the 40 pack on him and walked away. "...Sweet!" Hidan ran over to Tobi's room.
Deidara was still screaming, his hand mouthes attempting to bite Sasori. "GET OFF ME YOU EVIL BAT KING, UN!"
"What are you talking about!? Get off of ME!" He said. Hidan slammed opened the door. "Hey Deidara! Give this entire thing to the evil bat! It makes him go away! And if you drink some too, it...um...repels any more bats! So ahve some god damn hot sex so Kakuzu can make some money!" "...When did you become Kakuzu's b*tch?" Sasori said. "...F*ck you puppet."
Deidara took the bottle from Hidan. "Thank you Mr. non-spotted cow, un!" He popped open the bottle and leapt at Sasori. "TAKE THIS BAT KING, UN!"
Sasori fled from Deidara. "Spotted cow?! He's drunk." Hidan growled, going back into Kakuzu's room. "F*cking happy now?" Sasori leapt from Tobi's wall to his wall and broke through his door and fled down the stairs
"NOO THE BAT KING GOT AWAY, UN!" Deidara then looked at the bottle. "MR COW SAID IT'LL MAKE BATS GO BYEBYE IF I DRINK, UN!" Deidara then started to chug down the bottle.
Sasori stopped, remembering that...Deidara was more drunk now. Sasori ran back up the stairs, just in time to snatch the remaining bottles away. "No more for you!"
Deidara was seated on the floor hiccuping. "W-well, hellu thar, un. Me-ow!" Deidara said, grinning ear to ear.
Dot dot dot. "Okay, seriously, what was that?" Sasori said, slapping his face. "Deidara, I command you to go to sleep...Maid kitten thing."
"I-i'll go to sleep I-i guess, un" Deidara mummbled as he crawled into Tobi's bed and closed his eyes.
"...Now where to hide these ..." Hidan came back in the room and took them. "MINE." And then he escasped to his own room. "...Kakuzu, I'll pay you to stop Hidan from drinking that."
"How much?" Kakuzu called from his room, still counting his money(Where the heck does he get all this money? Does he keep winning the lottery? o-O)
(All the fangirl's money and Bill Gate's company)
"...Tobi's bank. You know he has a lot, have you seen his slash of chocolate that keeps growing?"
"Hmmm..." Suddenly threads went out from under is door and went across the hall and underneath Hidan's door...
"F*CK YOU KAKUZU!" Hidan said, hitting the threads with an empty 40 bottle. Wow that was fast. When the bottle finally broke, he started to hit the threads with full ones.
"HIDAN GIVE ME THE BOTTLES, NOW!" Kakuzu yelled from across the hall, still trying to grab at the bottles with his threads.
On of the threads managed to grab a bottle, but Hidan had more and whacked it hard against the thread as it broke. "F*CK YOU!" He yelled, which his yell echoed through the hall. Finally the threads somehow from Hidan's constant abuse, managed to grab a hold of his leg. "GET THE F*CK OFF!"
"NUUU GIMME BOTTLES NOW!" Kakuzu yelled back. Suddenly Kisame came up from the elevator holding Itachi, passing by everyone to the end of the hallway and going into his room... WITH ITACHI without even paying attention to what was going on.
"No get your own f*cking bottles!" He said, continuing his abuse to the threads. -Five minutes later- Hidan was sucessfully tied by by Kakuzu's thread but only one bottle was intact.
"I will get that bottle.." Kakuzu growled, coming into Hidans room now. Suddenly the music from those wild west movies came on when the two cowboy dudes have a showdown 8D
"HE'S GOING TO F*CKING RAPE ME!" Hidan shouted. "Good for you." Sasori murmured, going to his own bed and falling asleep. Konan was already asleep, zetsu was outside, poking Tobi's bloody and mangled body.
"I'll go if you give me the bottle..." Kakuzu said, glaring into Hidan's eyes. Pein, aswell as Konan finally fell asleep. Itachi and Kisame was doing who knows what...
They were playing strip poker. Anyhow..."You ahve to UNTIE MY HANDS FIRST YOU B*TCH!" Hidan howled as Zetsu somehow magically flew into Hidan's room and out his door. "...I'll pretend I didn't see tha.t"
"Fine..." Kakuzu let the threads holding onto Hidan let go and made them go back into his arms or whatever XD
Hidan murmured bloody murder as he stepped all over the glass and went to get the bottle and gave it to him. "If you wanted a f*cking dirnk you should've said somethign /earlier/. "
Kakuzu, with his threads now in him.. stood there. When the bottle broke earlier his threads got soaked in alcohol, but since he wasn't in the room he didn't know. Kakuzu got drunk real easily since he never drinked(Too expensive) and now with it circulating in him got all drunk and insane looking :D "Well hello there smexeh" He said, walking towards to Hidan.(osnap)
"...Holy...Sh*t." Hidan said, running for the window. "This is one of the times I'm glad I can't die! Running out of a window and flying off the building won't kill meeee!" Hidan said. But for some odd reason, the window was made of super saiyan glass so Hidan went SMACK instead of SMASH into the glass window and fell off the glass, cartoon style.
Kakuzu wrapped his threads around Hidan, aswell as closing and locking the door. "Hehehehe..."
"H-Hey Kakuzu." Hidan said nervously. "C-Can you let your partner go? Please? I promise not to f*cking swear...I'll pay you...uh...and...other sh*t?"
"But why should I do that?" Kakuzu whispered in Hidans ear. (omg now he's standing right next to him o: )
"..." Hidan was at a lost of words as to 'why'. "...You're drunk?" He said. (We should totally skip the rapage lol)
Okay so the people writing this popped out of no where and the screen stopped. "Okay so we'll be changing scenes now! Alright..." One of them took a remote out and clicked a button the scene changed to the outside. The moon was out and the stars shone since there were no clouds in the sky.
"sweet!" Said the other perosn. "We can do stuff like that!" Meanwhile, Zetsu decided that since it was night time he should sleep so buried half his body, and closing the venus fly trap. Tobi twitched on the ground
"OKAY SO. Everyone is asleep... except for a few maybe ;D So let's fast foward to morning!" The girl pushed a fast foward button on the remote and the moon began to set and the sun began to rise.
"Sweet we can do that!" She said. "Okay I think we should poof." she murmured to the other. "Hidan's going to have a pain in his ass." She said, giggling as she magically poofed. Sasori woke as the sun began to rise, goign to his window and looked down, seeing Zetsu bask in the sun's ray. Konan woke up and awned then fell back asleep. Hidan was in a corner. 'I have been violated.' He thought. -c Tobi twitched on the ground.
Deidara woke up, stretching. "Argh, my head hurts like hell, un." He looked around. "Hey this isn't my room, un! It's..." he spotted Tobi's laptop. "Tobi's room, un! What the hell!". Pein started to wake. "Ugh.. my head hurts. He then rolled over but fell out of his bed.