Ben was more than happy to be out of that damned hospital. He knew that Dean and Sam wouldn't take him home right away because it was too dangerous and he didn't really want to face his mother. But he also knew that Dean would call his mother and tell her everything that had happened. Ben figured he owed her that much.
'Do you think about
Everything you've been through
You've never thought you'd be so depressed
Are you wondering?
If it's life or death
Do you think that their's no one like you'
Three Days Grace's One X. Ben managed a small smile from the back seat, probably Sam's choice. He knew Dean was only interested in bands with enough guitar solos to make your ears bleed. He himself liked a wide variety of music, but mostly AC/DC and Zeppelin. 'Cause well, Zeppelin rules.
'The life I think about
Is so much better than this
Never thought I'd be stuck in this mess
Get's me wondering
Is this life and death
Did you figure out who's behind you'
He was now bored as hell of this song, but he didn't really want to ask to change it. He didn't want to make anyone else more mad than they already were with him. Although, Sam was asleep on the front seat and Dean didn't look to mad at all. Ah forget it, he'd just let it slide.
Thirty minutes later her was jolted awake by Dean's loud music and his ability to sing along to it.
"Communication breakdown, it's always the same, communication breakdown, driving me insane..!"
Ben stifled a chuckle. Dean probably thought he was still asleep so he decided to sing.
"Having fun there, Dean?" He asked instead.
Dean jumped, alarmed at Ben's voice, "What huh? How long have you been awake?" He glanced back in the rear view mirror.
"Long enough to hear the little concert you've got going on." Ben said slightly amused.
"Oh well. Whatever…" Dean mumbled, turning the radio off. "We're almost at the motel anyways, so we can have you lie down for a bit if you want?"
"Naw, I'll be okay." Ben started bobbing his head slowly along to the music.
"No, you still need to rest?" Dean said without looking back.
Ben let out a long sigh, "Fine" He knew Dean would still make him rest no matter what he did.
They pulled into a small parking lot and parked under a neon sign. It read The Snooze Motel. Ben saw Dean nudge Sam. "Were here."
"Uh, Dean?"
He turned in his seat. "Yeah?"
Ben felt embarrassed about the question he was about to ask, but he needed to get it out. "Um, would you mind helping me out of the car?" He couldn't get the slight tremor out of his voice, but knew it would be next to impossible to get out on his own. Every time he moved he could feel his stitches stretching. During the ride back to the motel his body had stiffened and he could barely shift his legs without wincing.
"No problem, kid." Dean got out of the driver's seat and headed to the side where Ben was at. He opened the door and held his hand out for Ben to grab it. Ben hesitated for a moment and grabbed it as he slowly started inching out of the low car. He grimaced when he made to stand up. Even though his cuts were shallow, it still hurt like hell.
He noticed Sam's concerned look as he got out of the car to help Ben, along with Dean. Ben couldn't help but think that Sam looked like a giant. He grabbed Ben's shoulder lightly and guided him to the room.
"I think I can walk by myself, Sam." He said with a light huff. He never noticed Dean's grim expression as the oldest hunter followed Sam and Ben to the room.
"Well, I'm not going to take any chances. If I did....I think Dean and your mother would kill me." Sam said with a nervous glance back. He remembered the promise he had made to Dean. And he intended to keep it.
"Fine." Ben muttered like a brat. He knew he was pushing it, but the help wasn't easy to accept. Especially when it felt forced.
~SN~
The phone rang only once before Lisa grabbed the mouthpiece. "Hello?" She could already feel her eyes burning.
"Hi. It's Dean." The familiar, gruff voice said on the other end of the line.
"Any n-news?" Her voice shook at his grim tone of voice.
"Yeah. We found him."
"Oh thank g-god…!" She whimpered and covered her mouth to conceal the sob threatening to burst out. "H-How is he?"
She heard Dean sigh and started to shake. "He's fine. We found him one state over in a town called Atalissa. He was trying to hunt the same thing as me an' Sam."
She drew a deep breath. "How. Is. He?"
Dean sighed again and she almost wanted to snap at him to stop. "He's fine." There was a slight hesitation in his voice and it made her heart rate double. "He's sleeping right now."
"Was he h-hurt?" Silent tears were rolling down her face as she tried desperately not to sob.
"Nothing serious."
That actually did force out the sob she'd so desperately tried to hide. She removed the phone from her mouth and covered it till she could get herself under control. "H-How bad?"
"A few cuts and scrapes." Dean sounded calm and she wanted to shout at him that there was no such thing. "Nothing serious."
"Bring him home." She steeled herself and tried to at least act composed.
"Lisa…-"
"Dean, I don't care. Bring him home. Right.. Now." She almost managed to choke the tremor as she said the words.
"That could be a problem."
"W-What?" She could feel her cheeks heating as anger rekindled.
"He doesn't wanna leave-"
"Then you make him!" She was shouting into the receiver and knew her neighbor probably heard it.
"It's not as simple as that-"
"Damn hell it's not!!" She started pacing. "You bring my son home, you understand me!?"
"He doesn't want to-"
"I don't care!"
"Lisa! Would you just stop and listen for a second!" His powerful voice boomed through the earpiece.
She stopped and could feel she was beginning to hyperventilate. She didn't answer, but just stood there, in the middle of her living room.
Dean sighed again and she actually ground her teeth together that time. "He wants to stay with us."
And that was it, wasn't it? That was what she had been so worried about all these years. That was what her real fear was. Her son leaving to become a hunter. As much as she loved the brothers for saving him years back, she never wanted her son to lead that life. She had only ever wanted to keep him safe.
"No…" Was all she could mutter.
"Lisa, I know-" Dean sounded regretful.
"No! You tell him I want him to come home first. I want to see him. Talk to him. Make sure that he's ok."
"I can't make him."
"Bullshit you can't! Throw him in the car and take him back here!" The tears were back and cursed her own weakness loudly.
"I can't make him, Lisa." He explained slowly.
In a rush she realized what he meant. He thought he didn't have a say in the boy's life. She had cursed him for thinking he did when he returned him the first night. She had made him think he couldn't have any influence. That he wasn't his father.
"If we throw him on a bus, he'll just come right back and go after it alone." Dean sighed over the phone again and Lisa could practically imagine him running a hand down his face. "He wants revenge over the thing that hurt his friends and he'll get with or without us here to stop him."
"Then-n explain to h-"
"You know I can't do that." He said full of regret.
She started crying again and collapsed on the couch. Her knees gave out as she sobbed brokenly into the phone. The very life she had tried to shield her son from, was the life he had chosen regardless. She had practically thrown him into it herself. She had slapped him the night he ran away. She had lied to him all the times he asked if she was sure Dean was his father. And now it was coming back to haunt her.
"Lisa…" She could have drowned in that voice. He sounded as heartbroken as she was.
"I-I n-never wanted t-this f-for him…" She cried. She curled her legs and tucked her knees up to her chin.
"I know…" He said in that same, deep voice she loved so much. Then something stirred in the background. "Could you hang on for a second?" She could hear him waiting for her answer.
"Y-Yes…" She heard him cover the phone and allowed a few sobs to echo in the empty room.
-
Dean turned when he heard voice from inside the room.
"You need to talk to her, Ben." His brother was advocating for Lisa.
"No I don't." Ben maintained stubbornly.
Dean opened the door into the room with his hand over the phone. Without a word he handed the phone to Sam and marched over to the young man. Ben was standing and Dean grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed him into the wall. Not hard enough to make him wince, but Dean saw the shocked expression that flashed over Ben's face.
"Dean!" His brother barked.
"Now you listen to me. That is your mother on the phone and she wants to talk to you." He thumped him into the wall once for emphasis and ignored Sam. "And you're gonna stop acting like a spoiled child and talk to her, understand?" His voice was low and deadly.
Ben squared his jaw and tried not to swallow. He looked Dean straight in the eye and glanced over to Sam who was covering the mouthpiece with his hand. Ben could feel his composure slipping. He wanted to talk to his mom and beg for forgiveness, but knew he didn't deserve it.
In a twist of events Ben never had imagined, Dean's face softened and he released his death grip. Dean must have recognized the look of guilt and quiet suffering on the young man's face because his own softened with understanding. "She's not mad at you." Ben snapped his eyes to the strong hunter. "She blames herself."
Ben's confused frown almost made Dean's heart break. The kid thought it was his fault. "Why?"
"For hitting you, Ben. For trying to keep you from doing what you had it in you to do all along."
Ben swallowed convulsively and squirmed under Dean's strong grip. Dean immediately released him with a sad expression. "She loves you, Ben. She only ever wanted the best for you."
"I can't talk to her."
Dean could see tears forming on the young man's face. "Why not?" He asked in that endlessly patient voice.
"Because it's my fault s-she's sad.." Dean ignored the shiver in the young boy's voice and the way Ben kept swiping a hand over his face.
"Because you ran away?" Dean leaned down to be more at eyelevel.
Ben nodded jerkily.
"She thinks it was her fault you ran."
Ben's eyes widened. "What?"
"She just wants to talk to you, Ben." Sam said softly from his bed. He reached the phone out with his hand over the mouthpiece.
"Talk to her." Dean said and nudged the young man over.
Ben slowly took the cell phone and bowed his head. "Hello?" His voice was low.
"Ben"
"Hi, mom."
Sam and Dean both looked down in awkwardness. They felt like they were eavesdropping. Ben looked at Sam and nodded to the door. Sam nodded back and glanced up at his big brother. Dean and Sam both stayed like statues in the middle of the room as Ben left and closed the door half way behind him.
"B-Ben?" He could hear the tears in his mother's voice and felt them burning behind his own eyes as well.
"Yeah."
"I'm s-so glad to hear from you, honey!" She said.
Ben felt a cold tear drip down his face and quickly brushed it off. He had his back to the door and the brothers, but felt them listening. "I'm-m glad to hear from you too." He sighed deeply and tried not to sob openly.
"I was s-so worried, Benjamin!" Despite the angry words he could hear the relief in his mother's voice.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't wanna hurt you."
He heard her sob and felt his own breath hitch. "You didn't hurt me, honey."
"I-I'm really sorry, mom…" His voice shivered and tears ran slowly down his face.
"I know. Me too."
Ben sighed in relief and ran a hand over his eyes.
"Please come home, sweety." He could imagine, clear as day, the look in her eyes at that moment. He could imagine the hurt when he told her what he needed to say-
"I can't." He heard her sob. "Not yet."
"Ben this isn't-"
"I know you don't want me to get hurt and I love you, but I can't." He sighed and glanced back. Sam and Dean were slowly unpacking their things and appeared to not be listening, but Ben knew better. "I need to make sure it never hurts anyone again." He steeled his voice and awaited the explosion he knew would come.
"No. No, I want you to come home. Stop this silly hunt you think you need to do-"
"It's not silly, mom!" He shouted and knew Dean and Sam had both heard. "I HAVE to do this! It feels right when I'm hunting. Like I matter. And when I'm not, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't sit by and watch monsters ravage my world!" He pointed animatedly at his chest.
-
Lisa fell quiet.
She knew she had lost. She realized it had never been her choice to make. It was never in her power to stop him from becoming what was in his blood. Ben was a hunter. Just like his father.
She sighed and wiped away the last of her tears with a new resolve. "I want to see you again." She said in a strong voice. "When this hunt is done you come home so I can see for myself that you're alright." She inhaled. "Alright?"
"Yeah…." He said hesitantly.
She exhaled and stood up from her crouched position on the couch. "Alright." She knew he wasn't a little boy any more. Knew he hadn't been in a long time. She cleared her throat. "We have a lot to talk about, young man."
He huffed over the phone and made her smile for a second. "I know, mom."
She sat down at her kitchen table and ran her nails over the linoleum. "I need to see you back here when Dean and Sam have killed it."
"Alright."
"Promise me that."
"I promise you, mom."
At his earnest tone of voice she felt her chest unclench. "I know that the vacation is coming up, but I want you back when it's over. You're not dropping out of school…!" She said strongly and heard him huff again.
"I promise. I love you, mom."
"I love you…"
"Talk to you soon."
"Bye…"
The line went dead and Lisa felt tears burning in her eyes all over again.
~SN~
Dean looked up when Ben came back inside and saw him sit down at the table, "Ben, don't, you lie down." He vacated the bed furthest from the door and motioned for Ben to take it.
"What? I can't sit down?" The young man asked tiredly.
"Well....fine, just don't move too much okay?" Dean looked at him closely until he answered.
"Deal."
"Um, Dean?" Sam cut in.
"What?"
"We still need to do some research on our trickster."
"Don't we have enough?" Ben asked. Dean could see his eyes were drooping and rolled his at the stubbornness he saw in the young man.
"No. Not all of it." Sam sighed. "We still need the spell to trap the trickster if we wanna have any luck killing it."
"Damn…" Ben grumbled tiredly.
"Fine." Dean said and grabbed one of the library books sitting on the table.
*four hours later*
"Dean. I have something." Sam called from the bedroom.
Dean washed his hands and turned off the light to the bathroom. "Don't wake him up."
He glanced over at Ben, sleeping on top of the covers. "What do you got?"
"Well, looks like the trickster is still at the high school"
"Atalissa?" Dean sat down at the small dinner table and arched an eyebrow. "Why would it still be hanging around?"
Sam shrugged. "It might not be done yet."
"How do you know it's still there?"
"Found some lore that says a trickster of this kind always stays at the same place for seven moons after its first kill."
"Seven moons, that's….?"
"Seven days." Sam flipped open a book that showed a picture of a trickster standing under seven moon depictions. "It always lingers for seven days before it moves on."
"Great. Well then let's go kill it." Outside the sun was slowly rising.
"What do we do about him?" Sam gestured over to the dormant teen.
Dean growled and ran a hand over his face. "Leave him here. I'm not risking his life for this."
"What if he follows us?" Sam said nervously.
"He can try. I'll tie him to the freakin bed if he does." Dean growled and cracked his neck.
"Looks like you get to tell him that yourself." Sam said and nodded over. Ben was slowly waking and moving around on the bed. He was on his stomach and Dean knew he would start to feel the sting from his wounds as soon as he became a little more lucid. He walked over and gently turned him on his back.
"Dude." Ben said slowly and looked up at Dean who was standing uncomfortably close to his face.
"What?" Dean made no move to give the teen some space so Ben frowned at him. Figured that would do the trick. It didn't and when Dean gestured to Ben's tee shirt he had a moment to get weirded out. "I need to see the stitches." Dean said and ran a hand over his tired face.
"Oh." Ben sat up straighter and winced when the stitches pulled. "They feel fine."
"Yeah and I still need to check them. Doctor's orders." Dean said in the same tired voice. Ben hiked down his tee shirt and winced again when it touched one of the wounds. Dean's expression sobered when he was reintroduced with the grim cuts on the young man's chest.
"They don't even hurt that much." Ben said at the sad expression on Dean's face.
"You slept on them so I need to check if they're still intact."
"How do you feel, Ben?" Sam asked from the other bed. He looked as tired as Dean.
"Better than you I guess."
Sam frowned, but it was Dean who reacted. "Are you talking smack?" He narrowed his eyes and nodded that the stitches were ok.
Ben huffed. "No you just look like you haven't slept in three weeks."
Dean growled and shooed Sam off the other bed. "We haven't." He let himself fall down with a huff, face first.. "But we will before we do anything."
"What time is it?" Ben asked and ran a hand through his tussled hair.
"About five thirty." Sam said and closed his computer. He then shooed Ben off the second bed and fell down too. "We did all the research we need and now we need some rest. We'll hunt the trickster tonight. Still have five more days before it leaves." He said drunkenly into his pillow.
"Uh hey, Sam?" Ben stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"What?" He asked with his face still buried in his pillow, just like his brother's.
"You think I could borrow you computer while you guys sleep? I'm not really that tired and I wanted to check some things."
"Yea sure."
Ben could already hear sleep pulling the brothers under, but wasn't quite finished. "Hey you guys know how to kill one of those things, right?"
Dean growled in a warning for the kid to shut up. It didn't work. "Yeah we do, Ben."
"Stake dipped in lamb's blood?"
"Yes." Sam said grumpily.
"Because our research showed that the trickster wasn't like others. It's called a
Hagondes."
"We know, Ben." Both brothers growled simultaneously.
"Okay, then." He sat down at the dinner table. "So you know about the starvation-"
"Yes, Ben!" They said at the simultaneously again.
"Alright. So we'll just talk when you guys wake up-"
"Yeah…"
"Whatever…" They each grumbled. Ben grinned and sat down in front of the computer. He hadn't checked any accounts for a while and wondered if he had missed anything. Opening his e-mail he saw one unread waiting for him. It was from Kate.
~SN~
The light sliced through the curtains and crept across the floor like a knife. Dean was still on his stomach and Sam had rolled to his back. Both brothers were resting easily. Ben had spent the better part of the morning checking accounts and scouring the web for more facts about the trickster. So far he hadn't found anything he and his friends hadn't covered. He heard Dean stirring and glanced over.
"Hi, Ben." He rubbed his eyes slowly and sat up. He cast a glance at his brother and back at the teen, hunched in front of the computer.
"Morning."
"What time is it?"
"About ten am." Ben said without looking up.
"Learn anything?" Dean smirked and pointed to the computer.
Ben rubbed his spiky hair and frowned. "Nothing I didn't already know."
Dean's smirk grew. "Then you didn't check out ."
Ben frowned and huffed. "Not porn, Dean. The trickster." He tapped the screen.
Dean rolled his eyes. "God you're as boring as Sammy." He sighed and rolled out of the warm bed. "Well alright. Why don't tell me you've got so far?" He took a seat next to the boy.
"Well, it doesn't really like light as you probably know. And you can kill it by starvation."
"Yeah, we already knew that." Dean sighed and glanced over at his brother. "I need coffee before I do anything." He looked back at Ben. "C'mon. Let's go get some brew." He clapped his hands together and got his coat.
Ben followed with a glance back at Sam, still sleeping. Dean and Ben found a nice diner and ordered a full breakfast. Dean had a slice of pie while they waited. Ben growled low in his throat at the sticky, greasy slice of pie. "How can you eat that now?"
Dean barely glanced up with jam all over his face. "There's always room for pie."
Ben huffed and Dean returned to his vigorous eating.
Their meal arrived and they returned to the motel. Sam was already up and showered when they returned. Sam sauntered out of the bathroom with a towel around his hips and nodded when Ben and Dean entered.
Get it while the gettin's good." Dean announced and plopped down on a chair. He wasted no time in digging out a bunch of hash browns, bacon and pancakes.
"You didn't have enough at the diner?" Ben widened his eyes and glanced up at Sam's mirthful smirk.
"Lemme guess. Apple pie?" Sam arched a brow.
"Blueberry." Ben said with a smile.
Dean shrugged and frowned at both of them. "I'm not completely uncivilized! No one eats apple pie before eleven am." He sent both Sam and Ben very obvious glares. Duh!
Sam just huffed and took his coffee before it was absorbed in the human vortex he usually referred to as his brother.
"So we're gonna hunt the trickster tonight?" Ben asked out of the blue.
Sam glanced at his brother, who had suddenly stopped eating. "Yeah."
"That's the plan anyway." Dean said between two mouthfuls of bacon.
"Did you find anything on the computer?" Sam looked over at the young man.
Ben frowned and shook his head. "No. Nothing I didn't know." He looked up at the brothers. "How do you intend to kill it?"
Sam sighed and put his coffee down. "I think it's safest if we trap it first. That way we at least make sure that it can't escape and that it can't hurt us."
"And just how the hell are we supposed to do that?" Dean looked at his brother. "Tie a steak to a piece of string and hope it bites? Or maybe dig a big hole and cover it up?"
"We have the spell-"
"That's a binding spell and a damn unsure one at that." Dean looked at his brother seriously.
"Uh, guys?" Ben asked softly.
"We could starve it? Might weaken its defences." Sam said.
"Oh and how do you see that going?" Dean widened his eyes at his brother.. "By killing every single person in the world so it has no one to feed on? OR we could of course just use the big hole to hide everybody in until it surrenders and dies-"
"Guys!" Ben tried a little louder.
"What!" Both brothers asked simultaneously.
"What if we just cut its head off?"
"And how do you plan on doing that, Ben?" Dean asked in a surprisingly patient voice.
"Well we could sneak up behind it or lure it into the trap?"
"Awesome job Ben! Let's go!" Dean's voice was brimming with sarcasm and made Ben scowl.
"How do you expect us to lure it anywhere?" Sam asked empathetically. "It might just run when it sees us. Might recognize us?" He leaned slightly over the table and looked Ben deep in the eye.
Ben swallowed once. When it didn't remove the clog in his throat, he did it again and again. "We could use a lure?" He tried not to seem too gung ho about it. He knew that he had to play it cool to get his plan to even be considered by the brothers. Sam and Dean were both watching him expectantly. "We could use me as bait." Ben said finally and awaited the shitstorm he knew would happen.
"No way!" Dean announced.
Ben rolled his eyes and tried not to act juvenile about it.. "You need me." He said quietly.
"Ben, no." Sam looked at him with deep eyes and Ben knew it was concern more than anything shining through.
"It's seen me. It knows me." Ben swallowed and tried to swallow down the passion in his voice as well.
"All the more reason NOT to use you." Dean said.
Ben could see the anger flashing in the emerald depths. "I know what it looks like. I know what to look for. It's the best plan we have." He said calmly and leaned back. He knew he wouldn't get his way by stomping in the floor and crying. So instead he tried a different approach. The adult approach. "You need me in on this." He looked confidently at each brother.
"No."
"Dean." Sam said slowly.
"Sam, no!" Dean was getting angry at Sam too. No WAY was a kid going on the hunt with them. A kid Dean kinda cared for as well. Not going to happen.
"You can't lock me in here." Ben's voice rose slightly with anger and he had to force himself to calm back down. "If you do I'll follow behind and probably be at more risk."
He could see Sam was already worried. He knew that the youngest brother worried, not because Ben wanted to come, but because he knew Ben was telling the truth. He knew Ben would follow. The teen knew, looking into the eyes of the younger brother. he knew Sam was caving.
"Dean…" Sam tried again.
Dean growled deep in his throat. A warning for them not to keep pushing. "Sam…"
"You know him better than me." Sam said instead. "Would he do it?" His voice held a challenge in it.
Dean glared at his brother and back at the teen. "You WANT him to get killed, is that it?!"
"Dean, why can't you-"
"Hang on for a second, Ben." Sam waved at him to quiet down. "No, Dean. Of course not. But I believe him when he says he'll follow if we leave him here-"
"Not if I hog-tie him to the chair." Dean growled.
"You were the one who wanted him to stay." Sam said with his harsh eyes glued to his big brother.
Dean's head suddenly dropped and he wouldn't look in Ben's direction. Ben's face fell. "I thought you…-" Dean glanced up and scrubbed a hand over his face.
Sam knew he had convinced his brother. He knew the kid had manipulated them, but Dean wanted him to come. He said it was to scare the crap so far out of him he'd never want to leave his mom's side again. But Sam knew better. He knew his brother. He remembered the dream walk into his brother's mind all those years ago. He remembered what his brother dreamed about.
"So?" Ben asked slowly. "What so you say?" He held his head low and looked at each man through his lashes.
Dean wouldn't look at any of them. His face slowly split in a sneer. "He's your responsibility." He growled and left the room.
Sam looked at Ben whose face had fallen and sobered. He never wanted the brothers to fight. "One condition." Sam said in a steely voice. "You stay with me. You do as I say. If I tell you to drop you do it." Ben nodded. "No questions asked." Ben nodded and swallowed down the new lump the was forming.
Sam grabbed is gear and threw Ben a shotgun. "How good's your aim?"
Ben cocked the gun and smirked at the tall hunter. "Pretty good."
The trio left the motel room to finish the hunt they had started.