A/N: Wow, I didn't expect that many reviews on the first chapter. Sweet. I know you all are very curious how I'm going to get it back, but I will, fear not. It will be some kind of a rollercoaster, but I never said it would be an easy trip.
Disclaimer: The title is a song by Headlights, and I think if I made the title 'Take Us Apart and Put Us Back Together Right' it'd make more sense for this story, but that's way too long of a title, so it's just what it is. The title of this chapter is from the song 'Not Falling Apart' by Maroon 5. And no, I still don't own Grey's Anatomy.
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Addison stepped under the neon lights of the bar sign. She sighed, looking up at the bartender. She wasn't at Joe's; that was to be sure. Derek was probably there, and if not Derek than any number of Meredith's insipid friends.
"What would you like, ma'am?"
"Just…white wine, please."
The bartender nodded and got out a long-stemmed glass. Addison watched as he filled it. There had been white wine at her wedding. She remembered. She wondered if Derek did anymore.
She took a sip of the wine and looked down at her hands. Her wedding rings still adorned her fingers. She couldn't bring herself to take them off. Not yet, anyway. She would have to soon. She just wouldn't take the wedding rings off on her wedding day. It seemed wrong. Just about as wrong as divorcing on your anniversary.
A man sat down next to her, and ordered a beer. He watched Addison sit there. Addison knew he wanted her to talk, but Addison hadn't come to the bar to talk. She had come to the bar to think. To think about her failed marriage.
"Someone as gorgeous as you shouldn't be sitting alone." The man's voice was musky and reminded her of Mark's. She shouldn't be thinking about Mark, especially now, but memory was a funny thing.
Addison squirmed. "Yeah, well, I've made it this far."
"I'm Parker. Parker Dawson." He stuck out a sturdy hand, rough with age. He looked around forty, with light green eyes and brown hair. He wasn't the kind of breathtaking 'Prince Charming' Derek was, or the sexy, almost god-like man Mark was. But he was decent looking. Good looking, even. Just so different from what Addison knew.
"I'm Addison. Addison Shep-Montgomery." Addison corrected herself quickly.
"Shep-Montgomery?"
"Just Montgomery."
Parker looked at Addison curiously. She shrugged, casting her eyes downward.
"I'm a chemist."
"I'm a doctor."
Parker nodded. Addison sat nervously. She should've gone to the hotel; there she could've had her drink alone and been in the perfect position for crying. But maybe this was good. Getting out, forgetting for a while. Just adopting a new policy of rules.
He seemed to sense she didn't want to talk and left her alone for a while. Addison ordered another glass of wine and after that one Parker looked a hell of a lot more interesting.
"So you're a chemist?"
Parker nodded. "I work with polymers in tires and such."
"That's exciting. I was always good at chemistry in high school."
"But you took the high road and became a doctor."
Addison laughed. "Not really. Everyone dreams of becoming a doctor. I bet your career was more unique."
"Lots of Star Trek fans."
"Are you one of them?"
Parker laughed. "Me? God, I sure hope not. Why? Are you?"
Addison smiled. "No. But if I said 'yes' would you say 'yes' too?"
"Am I that obvious?"
"A little bit. But we're in a bar, so it's forgivable."
"So, what brings you to this bar?"
Addison wasn't sure if she was talking now or if it was the third glass of wine. "My husband, well, ex-husband and I got divorced today."
Parker touched Addison's arm. She didn't move it away. "I'm so sorry."
"It's also our twelfth wedding anniversary. But I guess not anymore."
"That's probably the most sad reason to be in a bar, ever."
"Yeah, well. It was all my fault. I slept with his best friend last year."
"I'm sure it wasn't all your fault."
Addison sighed. "No, it wasn't. But I was the one who actually cheated. Derek was just…gone. And then his best friend's there and I just…I wanted something. And then Derek finds us and runs to this place, this town, from New York and 'falls in love' with an intern. I followed him out here, and he only chose me out of obligation. He still 'loved' her." Addison fiddled with her rings. "Who, by the way, he slept with last night at the hospital's prom. With me simply yards away."
Parker didn't know what to say. "I'm so sorry."
"I'm sorry, you probably don't care. Why are you here?"
"Just a long day at work."
"I know those."
Parker nodded. "I bet you know them a lot better then I do. My version of long day is having to work until ten. I'd be willing to bet your version of a long day involves working two days straight."
"Something like that."
After making chatter for an hour, Addison stood up. She tossed a few folded bills on the table and half-expected Parker to stand up and follow her. He didn't.
He did, however, turn to speak to her. "When I came into this bar and saw you, I thought, 'God, I really want to bring her home with me.' And it's not that I still don't, because you're so beautiful and you have the personality to go with your beauty, but you're far too hurt and I am not a jackass. So, Addison Montgomery, I just had a conversation with a brilliant woman. My night was pretty damn good, I'd say. Better than most nights I come to bars."
Addison gave a weak smile. "Thanks."
"Not a problem. If I ever see your husband on the street, I'll kick him or something. Make it look like an accident."
"Good."
Addison walked back outside and hailed a taxi. She almost wished Parker would've taken advantage of her and taken her back to his house. She admired Parker's integrity and respect, and knew she'd have regretted it if she did end up doing something, but Addison just didn't want to sleep alone tonight. Especially on her anniversary.
Because she was the farthest thing from being over with Derek. She still loved him desperately and deeply. He said he didn't love her. Addison wondered if that was true. He said he hadn't forgiven her. Addison wondered if that was true as well.
But it didn't even matter anymore. Because Derek was with Meredith and Meredith was all he cared about now. Addison was just an afterthought.
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Derek smiled at Meredith from across the table in the restaurant. He smiled his trademarked grin at her and she smiled back.
"This is nice, Derek."
"Yeah, Meredith, this is wonderful. Almost like no time has really passed and that Addison coming to Seattle was just a bad dream."
Meredith felt guilty. She had slept with Derek, causing the ultimate end of their marriage, watched Derek sign the divorce papers, and now she was out on a date with him. All in less than a day.
"What's wrong, Meredith?"
"I just…isn't this moving too fast?"
"What?"
"You got divorced less than twelve hours ago and now we are on a date."
Derek shook his head. "Meredith, Addison and I getting divorced today was just a technicality. Signing the papers just made something official that had been unofficial for a long time."
"I don't think Addison was divorced from you before today."
"She divorced me when she slept with Mark."
"But Derek…"
"Listen, Meredith, I was married to her for almost 12 years. So yes, I did love her once. But we haven't been in love for a long time. And now she and I don't even have to try. We don't have to pretend there's still something there anymore. So can you and I just enjoy this dinner? Please?"
Meredith poked at her steak. "Sure."
"Because I love you, Meredith."
"Fine."
"Meredith, please don't get mad. Don't you get it? You're not the bad guy here. Just don't worry about it. Addison'll be fine."
"Okay."
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Addison crawled into the large hotel bed, hating every moment of it. She would give anything to be completely drunk right now, having sex with Parker. Almost anything. Because the silence folded around her and she had never felt worse. This day had been horrible. It had been one day of shit. She didn't want to remember this.
Her phone rang again, and she knew it was Savvy, or Nancy, or Naomi. They were calling her on her anniversary. They didn't know about the divorce yet, and Addison wasn't going to tell them. She threw the phone across the room and heard it crack as it hit the wall. It stopped mid-ring and died out.
She wrapped her arms around a pillow. It was too quiet. There was nothing. And it was even more quiet that usual. Derek hadn't been home, or to the trailer, plenty of nights. But it was different kind of quiet. It's as if the quiet knew that there wouldn't even be the slightest chance of anything.
Addison stared at the ceiling. Now she was going crazy, assuming something as inanimate as quiet could know something. She turned to her side and tried to fall asleep, but this position didn't change anything.
She didn't bother wiping away the tears from her eyes, no one could see them. They dripped over the bridge of her nose and onto the pillow. Eventually they grew and matted her hair. She wasn't asleep, it couldn't even constitute as crying herself to sleep. Her marriage was over. This was worse than when he left. At least then she thought they still had a chance. They didn't. Her husband fell in some kind of puppy-dog 'love' with an intern. Addison refused to believe it was real love. Real love was something that started and took time and even when it was real you were afraid to call it that for a long, long time because it might disappear as quickly as it came.
At least that's how Addison saw it.
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Derek lay next to Meredith, breathing heavily. The sheets were sticky with sweat.
"That was…"
"Yeah."
Derek could still smell Addison. Her perfume. Why did it smell so much like her perfume? She had been here only just last night, but then it hadn't smelled like her. Or maybe Derek just didn't notice.
"Mere."
"Mm."
"Can we go to your house?"
Meredith sat up. "Now?"
"Yeah."
Meredith looked at Derek. "Why?"
"Because I keep remembering last night in this trailer and it's not something I want to remember. I want to remember you."
"But Izzie's a wreck."
"Meredith…"
Meredith sighed. "Fine. I'll be closer to work anyway."
Derek kissed her gently on the lips. "Thank you."
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It was early. It was late. Addison didn't know what to call it. She had just been up for a long time. Too long. She had gotten to sleep for a few moments but had woken up in tears not an hour later.
She didn't want to be this woman. The last time she had been this woman, she had ended up staying with Mark for two months because he brought her back up. He made her feel complete again even if everything was screwed up. So what would happen this time?
She could call Mark. She could call Mark and he'd come and they'd have some kind of sex and she'd try to forget about the pain that was ripping her apart. And then he'd leave, or maybe he'd stay. Addison didn't think it was fair to do that to Mark again. She didn't love him like he deserved. She couldn't. Because to her, Mark would always signify the end of her marriage. And he didn't deserve that.
She could find Parker's name in the phonebook and ask him to come over. He could just be a rebound. But he didn't deserve that either. He had been nothing but nice tonight. Nothing but charming and friendly and-oh God-that would make her some kind of whore. And maybe he wouldn't even do anything. Maybe he was that nice. That considerate.
Addison stood up. She would just go back to work. She could focus there. It was also early, so Derek and that intern wouldn't be there yet. She slipped into the shower. Her first shower as a single woman in over fourteen years. It was a stupid, a small landmark, but it was something. She dressed quickly, attempting to get out of the hotel as soon as she could. It was choking her. It was showing the world that her marriage hadn't worked out and she had lost. Because it was all a game. Regardless of what anyone said.
She slipped in the hospital doors and changed right as an ambulance came in. She sent a silent prayer of thanks to whoever was listening. This would be a wonderful distraction. Horribly wonderful. People were dead, but Addison didn't have to think about Derek for a good three hours.
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Richard watched as Addison strolled in the hospital, high heels and all, at four in the morning. He knew she hated pity, but he pitied her right now. He pitied the fact that Derek had left her so readily. He pitied the fact that her marriage hadn't worked out, even though she had been trying so hard. He pitied the fact that she had probably spent her anniversary all alone, reminiscing about a man she still loved. Richard pitied the fact that she was too proud to admit defeat and accept help. Richard pitied her and couldn't change that.
He met her in the lobby four hours later.
"Addison."
"Richard. Fancy seeing you here. Shouldn't you be with Adele?"
He looked at her, and was only met with unresponsive eyes. "How are you?"
"I'm doing just fine. I saved a mother and her baby. I found out I have surgery today. I'm happy."
Richard took a glance at her left hand, confirming what he already suspected. Her rings were still there.
"So, Richard, I hear Izzie Stevens is going through quite an ordeal."
Amazed at how quickly she could change the subject, he nodded. "Denny Duquette has died, and we believe it is a result of Dr. Stevens, or possibly Dr. O'Malley, Dr. Yang, or," Richard paused, afraid of the name he was about to speak. "Or Dr. Grey."
For the briefest of seconds, Richard caught a distraught look from Addison. She composed herself instantly, though, and smiled. "These interns are giving you a run for your money. And sanity."
"No kidding."
Derek and Meredith entered through the main doors, holding hands while Derek pushing Meredith's hair from her face gently. Addison quickly excused herself, murmuring something about a patient. Richard suddenly envisioned a fifty pound anvil dropping on Derek's head.
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"Yang, you're with me today."
Cristina groaned. "Vagina squad?"
Addison glared at Cristina. "We could make it scut, if you like."
"No, Dr. Montgomery, I'm good."
"Fantastic. Let's go."
Cristina tracked behind Addison and followed her into a room containing a woman with her six-week premature baby.
"Miss Delana Williams. Age 25. She had her baby Friday at four in the afternoon, six weeks premature. No problems are visible but the baby is in an incubator for the time being." Cristina recited the chart snidely.
Addison nodded. "Miss Williams we're-"
"Please, call me Delana."
"Delana. We're going to keep you here for a few weeks, just because your baby is so premature."
Delana nodded. "That's fine."
"We may have to do surgery."
"But not yet?"
"No, not yet."
"That's good."
Addison nodded and signaled to have Cristina follow her out of the room. Cristina rolled her eyes. Addison turned around in the hallway and narrowed her eyes at Cristina.
"Look, I know you're Meredith's friend and all, but don't openly mock me in front of my patients. Actually, you have no reason to anymore. Meredith won. She got her 'McDreamy.' So whatever the hell your problem is, drop it."
"With all due respect, Dr. Montgomery, it's not you. I just don't really want to look at babies all day."
"Rather be on cardio?"
Cristina nodded.
"Well, you're stuck with me. So make the best of it."
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Derek watched Addison eat lunch alone. "Why is she still wearing her wedding rings?"
"I don't know," Meredith said. "Maybe she's just having a hard time getting over the marriage."
Derek shook his head. "That's not it. She's keeping them on to spite me, I think."
"Maybe." Meredith took at bite of her salad. Derek shook his head and looked back at Meredith.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For focusing on her. I just can't believe she won't take her rings off."
"It's only been a day."
"I guess so." Derek kissed Meredith on the cheek. "I missed the way you smelled."
Meredith laughed. "Isn't that a bit odd?"
Derek shrugged. "Just a tad. But it's true. You smell so good. Lavender. And whatnot."
"General flowers." Meredith's pager rang and she looked down at it. "I have to go."
Derek kissed her again. "See you later."
Meredith smiled. "Yeah."
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Addison flipped to the next page of the magazine. She wasn't really reading it, but she couldn't just sit alone. A shadow cast over the article about Italian leather and she looked up.
"Dr. Torres."
"Dr. Torres? You can call me Callie. We don't have to be formal. Anyway, can I sit here?"
Addison nodded tentatively. "Sure."
"I just don't like sitting alone. And the only other people eating are the asshole of the century, who I hate, and Dr. Smithe, who seems to dislike me."
Addison smiled. "Well, Dr. Smithe likes no one."
"Very true."
"Listen, this is all I'll say about it, but I really am sorry you had such a bastard of a husband the other night."
Addison shrugged. "Yeah."
"Anyway. Do you have any good surgeries today?"
"I have a C-Section later, but nothing else. I had one this morning, though. What about you?"
Callie shook her head. "Nothing. It's so dull. Not the hospital, because they have a lot going on with Denny Duquette and all. But the actual work aspect."
"Yeah, that's insane. Richard doesn't know who did it."
"I'm sure he has some guesses."
"He's got about four guesses. And one more prominent than others, as I'm sure you can guess, but still."
"Yeah. That must be hard."
"For Dr. Stevens I'm sure it is as well. Last I heard she's moping on the floor of the bathroom."
"Who'd you hear that from?"
"Yang was speaking to O'Malley."
Callie nodded. "Interesting. Will she come back?"
Addison shrugged. "Maybe. She'd be a darn good obstetrician though."
"She must have really loved Denny."
"Or really not loved him."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, Denny might've died had she not cut the LVAD wire, but he might have lived. She took too big of a risk by cutting it. She risked his life and her own career."
"Well, it's hard to say. Seattle Grace has turned into a soap opera set."
"Derek and I contributed a lot of that."
Callie blushed. "That's not what I-I mean well-"
"We did. I know it. He probably does too. I mean, where else do you get a cheating wife arriving out of nowhere to break up McDreamy and his one-night-stand-turned-girlfriend?"
Callie shrugged.
"Days of Our Lives."
"Well…"
"It's true."
Callie nodded. "I guess, if you put it like that."
Addison sighed. "I have to go though."
"Alright. Bye."
"See you around."
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Savvy looked puzzled at her phone as she heard a recorded message telling her that Addison's phone was out of order. Addison never let her phone go out of order, and if she did she had a new one within a few hours. Addison hated being unreachable. Savvy sat down and pushed a few more buttons, trying again and again, as she had been for the past day. It had been Addison and Derek's anniversary yesterday and Savvy had wanted to wish them well.
Except now that Addison wasn't picking up her phone, Savvy was concerned. Addison should've called back by now. This was unlike her. What had happened?
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A/N: I know, I know, Derek's still just horrible, if anything he's worse now, but it's a day later. Just a day. My radar is…radaring? Searching? Whatever it's doing, it's doing its job. Just trust me.