A/N: Still living in complete denial about what actually happened to Addison and Derek.

Disclaimer: The song used for the title, which reminds me heavily of Addek, is 'All We Are' by OneRepublic. And if I owned Grey's Anatomy, so many things would be different.

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"You're not serious. This has to be some kind of joke."

"Addie…"

"No. No. Stop. You don't get to do this. You don't love me. You don't know what love is. You can't just come here and tell me you love me and expect me to fall down into your arms and forget what you've put me through." Addison moved towards the door to leave, but Derek grabbed her wrists and held on.

"And you don't get to just run away. You don't get to just leave."

"And why not? You did."

"Because I'm telling the truth."

"So all it took was a divorce and Meredith to dump you before you decide you love me."

"All it took was for me to let go of the past."

"Stop trying to be philosophical."

"I mean, let go of Mark. Of you and Mark."

"Really? You let go of Mark? Of the fact that I had an affair with your best friend, and then proceeded to stay with him until he dumped me and it was only then I bothered to look for my husband?"

"I let go of the fact that that had to be the determining point in our relationship."

"We have no relationship. None. All we have are things of the past. I signed those divorce papers, twelve years exactly after I said "I do" and whatever we had was then in the past. There is no future for us. No future relationship, no future anything."

"But I know you love me."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"Really?"

"It means that I'm not over you. That maybe I'll always love you…love the person you were. That I loved what we had and loved my hopes for our shared future. But there is no shared future and I don't trust you. I don't trust you, and I don't want you."

"You don't want me," Derek said incredulously.

"I thought maybe if this moment came up, only in my wildest dreams, I would take advantage of it for just…one more time. But now, that it's here? I want nothing to do with you. I am trying to move on. I made friends with Parker, who you completely ambushed. I've stopped crying every night. I am moving back to my favorite city in the entire world. I am moving on."

"But Add-"

Addison raised her arms up and slipped out of Derek's grasp. "Moving on."

Derek watched her stalk down the hallway. "I'm not letting her get away that easily," he murmured to himself.

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She was seated next to a sixteen year-old reading. Reading quietly. Addison happened to catch the book title; it was a mystery by Elizabeth George. The girl wasn't listening to loud music; make that any music at all. She was just reading. It was maddening. Addison had never seen a girl so focused on her book.

Addison didn't have anything. Sure, she had a newspaper in her carry-on, and her still unfinished copy of Pride and Prejudice, but she didn't want to read about Mr. Darcy. She was too preoccupied. Derek had told her he loved her. The nerve. The complete nerve. Six weeks after he had divorced her, he told her he loved her. Addison hadn't told anyone. She could've mentioned something to Callie or Miranda, but she didn't. She didn't believe it. Maybe she was dreaming. Maybe it was some kind of sick joke. Derek's idea of humor. Maybe it was a mistake.

Addison decided that it wasn't important. She didn't have to worry about. So maybe it was real and he meant all of it. It still didn't matter. She was leaving. He was staying. She was done with him.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

The girl reading looked at Addison. "Are you talking to me?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, I do."

"Has he told you he loves you?"

"We've only been dating for a month."

"But he didn't tell you he loved you before you started dating?"

The girl, clearly wanting nothing more than to get back to her book, shook her head. "We were friends. He asked me out to dinner."

"And it took off from there?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Sorry to bother you."

The girl shrugged and turned back to her book.

"It's just that, he's Derek. I mean, he tells me he loves me and it's after everything and can it still work?"

The girl looked up again. "I don't really know what you're talking about."

"Right, of course not." Addison was talking too much. "See, I was married for 12 years to Derek. And then I cheated on him with his best friend and Derek found…us…and he ran away to Seattle. So I went out to Seattle after a little while and found out he had a girlfriend. And so he didn't sign the divorce papers and we 'tried' fixing our marriage. It wasn't successful. He slept with his girlfriend at the hospital prom and I knew and we got divorced. And for the past six weeks I've been avoiding him and then today, the day I'm moving back to New York, he comes in and tells me he loves me."

The girl sighed and put down her book. "Look, I'd love to help you. It's just…I'm sixteen. I just finished my sophomore year of high school. I haven't ever been married. I can't really…relate this at all. I mean, my parents are divorced, but they got divorced right after I turned two. Divorce is all I've known. And I really don't think my father has claimed to love my mother since their divorce."

"Well, do you watch television?"

"Sure."

"So just pretend my situation is like a television show. What do you think I should do then?"

"See if he does anything else. I mean, if he really loves you, then won't he do something more than just coming to you once when you when you were easily reached?"

"But how long do I wait?"

"I couldn't tell you that. Just don't wait for forever."

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Addison met Savvy at the airport at two-thirty in the morning. Addison was so happy to see her friend and so confused and disoriented that she broke into tears as Savvy hugged her.

"Oh, Addison. I've missed you so much."

Addison shook her head. "I've missed you more. I've needed you more."

"I can't argue with that. Come on. Welcome home." Savvy spread her arms out, as Addison looked out the window. The buildings. The hubbub. New York City. "Weiss is making dinner."

"Dinner?"

"A really early breakfast? We figured you'd be hungry and I wanted to come see you. So he offered to stay back and cook something."

"Are you guys…okay?"

Savvy nodded. "Yeah, we're good. It was…really…it was you and...well, we wouldn't be where we are if we hadn't gone to Seattle to get the operation done. If you hadn't done it" Savvy gestured to her chest and Addison smiled. "Are you okay?"

"I have a lot to tell you."

"I talked to you this morning. At…nine, Seattle time. What could've possibly happened?"

"You have no idea."

"I take it you're not telling me now?"

"I can't talk about it right now. I'm not ready to think about it anymore."

"Well, don't keep me in anticipation too long."

Evasive techniques allowed Addison and Savvy to get back to Weiss and Savvy's apartment without a single mention of Derek. Addison was greeted warmly by Weiss, who was working on grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup.

"Oh, God, you're such a man. Do you have beers chilling in the fridge?" Savvy teased gently.

"I was thinking more of a 'Mr. Mom' type. You know all the commercials with tomato soup and goldfish crackers and whatnot? And all the smiling children and soccer games?"

Weiss laughed. "You both tease. Fine. But this is not canned tomato soup. I bought the tomatoes and made it. Right after growing the wheat to make the bread." He pushed the two cans off the counter into the trash. "And there are beers in the fridge. But they're not for tonight. Addison has a meeting tomorrow."

"With a man who's known me for eight years. Yeah, I'm pretty nervous." Addison laughed.

"Still. We're not getting drunk at three-thirty in the morning. I put the line down there. It's not like the four of us are-"

"The three of us," Savvy threw in quietly. The room had changed.

"I can handle it," Addison said. "Derek was my husband for a long time. He's been your friend for a long time too. You can talk about him. Talk to him."

Nothing was said as Savvy slowly got out yellow plates. Addison sat in a chair, exhausted. Today had been too long of a day. Too much. But Addison was happy to be back in New York. In a city where time was merely a number, not a factor in sleeping and waking. Where there was no Meredith. Where there was no Derek.

"So, Weiss, how's work?" They were eating, Addison starving.

"Fine. I mean…people hire me to plan elaborate buildings. I plan them. You should see the one I'm working on right now…it's almost as big as the hospital I did five years ago."

"But a lot more details," Savvy contributed. "I wake up to an 'Oh my God, the closet' or something of the sort."

Addison laughed. "And you how's the office life?"

"I prefer my official title, financial advisor," Savvy replied with a grin, "and it's great. I tell the office how to spend their money. And I get paid for it."

"It's a win-win."

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Weiss went back to sleep after their meal and Savvy made hot chocolate. She poured a mug for Addison and sat down at the table.

"What happened today?"

Addison blew on the cocoa while Savvy tapped her foot impatiently. "You have to promise me you won't do anything rash."

"Like what?"

"Just promise me."

"Fine. I promise."

"Derek told me today he loved me."

"What?!" Savvy was on her feet in seconds. "He didn't. He was serious?"

"Sit down. He said he was serious. I can't decide if I believe him or not."

"Why? Why would he do that?"

"I don't know!"

"Addison. I'm trying to take this information in too."

"But he didn't tell you that."

"I know. But it's still…it's still there. I've known you guys for fifteen years. So your lives have become second to my own. And so…this is still something for me to take in."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just can't do this right now."

"I know that. But maybe…maybe he really loves you."

"Yeah, okay."

"I'm being serious. What if he really did realize how much he loved you?"

"Then it's too late."

"Addison, don't say that."

"Savvy, he ruined me. I hate admitting that fact, because it means admitting a man ruined me. Which completely takes away from everything I'm trying to be. And I don't know if I can ever trust him again. Which means it might be too late. Besides, what does he expect me to do? Realize I love him just as much again and run back out to Seattle?"

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That was exactly what Derek had expected. He had waited all afternoon, all night. He had thought that maybe she'd get all the way to New York and realize it, and that consoled him until the next morning. But when she didn't show up, he realized that she wasn't coming back. She was gone. She was doing what she said she was. But Derek had really expected her to come back. He had figured that she'd realize he was telling the truth, and that she loved him so much still it wouldn't matter. But it was going to be much harder than he anticipated.

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Kirsten Farleigh was firm and strict. Addison knew and appreciated it. Sometimes, nothing more needed to happen than work. She was a wonderful chief of surgery, regardless of what others opinions were. She had Addison in her office and was laying down the rules, yet again.

"Dr. Montgomery, I can't have you taking off again. I need you on my staff. I'm giving this job to you because you're the best, but I'll take second-best if you're not reliable. I know you had personal issues. But I don't excuse personal issues."

"Understood."

"You will retake the hours you had last time. Surgeries, as you know, can be planned at any hour. Your salary will remain the same as it was." She scanned the sheet, and finding nothing else, looked up. "I'm pleased to have you back. And I am sorry about you and Derek. He was a wonderful asset to this hospital."

Addison couldn't help but smile. Of course she thought first of her hospital.

"You'll start again tomorrow. Eight o'clock, sharp. Don't be late."

"Thank you."

Addison picked up her purse and left the room. She stood outside the door, looking at all the hubbub below her. She knew this hospital. Every closet, every secret room. The quietest corners. Even the doctors she knew all by name. She had worked with each of them at least once in her career. So much of her life was here.

"Addison."

"Mark." There he was. It's like he knew. He always could find her.

"You're coming back here?"

"Yes. I'm sure you knew that."

"I did. I just didn't know if you'd want to work…here. At this hospital. There's a lot of memories, here, you know."

"There are memories all over this city. I'm going to have to face them."

"Well, you're standing in front of great memory that could become reality."

"Not again, Mark."

"I could be what you need."

"I'm starting over."

"So start over with me."

"Mark, no."

"Please, Addie."

"Mark, no. I can't. I won't."

"Can we at least try friendship?"

"I honestly don't know."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know if I can."

"And why not?"

"Because we'd never be the same friends. There'd always be the hint of something more. I don't want anything more."

"We could be the same. You don't know that."

"I don't. But you do."

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His mother. His mother would know what to do. It might be horrible to call her now. But she'd know what to do. She'd know. She always knew. She had this uncanny knack of knowing.

It was already ten in New Jersey, but she would be up. His hands shook as he dialed the number that had once been second-nature to him. Back when he had called his mother weekly. Back when Addison had teased him for calling his mother so much, but when he knew she was merely longing for the same familial relationship. Back when he and Addison had been happily married. When work balanced out play.

"Emily Shepherd."

"Mom."

"Oh, Derek. It's been so long."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Emily Shepherd wanted nothing more than to hug her son right now. Of course, the entire country between them made it difficult. "Don't be. Please."

"I have a lot more to be sorry for. My marriage…"

"That's in the past. You both seem to be better."

Derek shamefully realized how little he had actually told his mother. "We're…divorced."

Silence. Derek vaguely remembered his Catholic lessons as a child. Divorce was unacceptable. His mother was still quite strict in her Catholicism. Enough that divorce shook her.

"But, Mom, I love her. I'm still…I still love her. I need you to…I need you help me. Please. Don't judge me, because if I could take back the divorce right now, I would."

"But you can't."

"I need you to help me. She's moved back to New York. She's not who she once was. And yesterday, before she left, I told her I loved her."

"What about Meredith?"

"She broke up with me three weeks after the divorce. She said she knew I still loved Addison."

"Three weeks? You've been divorced for three weeks and you didn't tell me?"

"Six," Derek said quietly.

"Six weeks! When did you get divorced?"

"June fourth."

"Oh, Derek. Your anniversary? You divorced your wife on your anniversary? I have nothing I can say to you right now. I'll...we'll talk later."

The dial tone rang in Derek's ear. His mother had just hung up on him. His own mother.

He was truly on the bottom of the heap.

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A/N: Eh, it ends and I'm not completely pleased. Alas, c'est la vie! Updates will be way more sporadic over the rest of the summer, but they will come, believe me.