A/N: I'm really sorry about the wait…but here's an update. Thanks to everyone who reviewed/read.

Disclaimer: The chapter title comes from the song 'Not Ready to Make Nice' by the Dixie Chicks. Grey's Anatomy comes from Shonda Rhimes.

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Derek had gotten Addison's address from Richard after much coaxing. He hadn't wanted to, but Richard knew how much this meant to Derek. And here it was. An apartment building, it was nice. Posh, as ridiculous as it sounded. Swanky. Derek shook his head and entered the building.

"Sir, do you have a pass?"

Derek shook his head.

"Then I'm going to have to ask you to either ring up to a tenant or leave."

"I'm here for my wife. Ex-wife. Addison Montgomery."

The receptionist's hand hovered over the button.

"But," Derek said quickly, "please don't ring her. She won't let me up. I know that. I've given her plenty of reason not to. I need you to let me up."

The attendant was a woman with short blonde hair, obviously dyed. She was tall, yes, but she was also not skinny. Nor was she fat. She had a few old acne scars covered by light makeup which wasn't really doing its job. No rings on her fingers. A plain shirt and skirt. And Derek was willing to bet that she had a lusty romance novel under the counter. She was a romantic.

"I really can't, sir."

"I have papers. A driver's license. My boss wrote me a reference. I swear, I'm not a murderer. Addison's my wife, well, ex-wife now. We met in med school years ago. I fell in love. We dated and married and these past fourteen years are so precious to me. And then I stopped caring. I stopped coming home. I stopped remembering. And I pushed her to my best friend. One night they slept together. I caught them…she knew I would catch them…and I ran. I high-tailed it across the country and then two nights after I caught my wife with another man I was sleeping with a girl ten years younger than me, completely drunk. And for two months I live like that, with the same girl, who happened to be an intern at the hospital I work at. Meanwhile, my wife was staying with my best friend. And then she came out. She came out for a surgery and handed me divorce papers, but I couldn't sign them. So we tried. She moved out there and gave up what she had here. She lived in a trailer with me and we fought and she tried and once again I didn't. I lusted after the intern. And then our hospital had a prom and I was there with Addison and I slept with Meredith, the intern. Addison knew and I was overjoyed and we divorced the next day, our anniversary. She's in shambles and moved back here to move on. But it took me so long to realize it. Realize that I love her. That I didn't ever really want Meredith. At least not as much as my wife. Not even comparable. And I told Addison I loved her. And she left. She said she couldn't. But I have to try. I won't forgive myself if I don't try. And so I'm here, trying. Trying. Trying harder than I ever have for anything. So please, let me up."

The woman was glancing at Derek. He handed her his driver's license, papers from Richard, hell, his degree from Columbia. She studied them. She nodded. "I might get fired, but I don't give a damn. If you are a killer, I swear to God I will hunt you down if you touch Addison. She talked to me, though. She talked about you one day, waiting for her friend. She gave the same story. I believe you. Go on up. Good luck."

Derek thanked her and headed up to the third floor. He heaved a breath in the elevator, as it clicked. Floor three. 302 was her apartment.

He stood in front of her door for at least ten minutes. Then, someone exited out of 304 and Derek placed his fist on the door center and knocked.

Five seconds, ten seconds, fifteen seconds. And then footsteps near the door. Leaning against the peephole, he assumed. And a slow, slow opening.

"Derek."

Addison had planned this out in her head. She had planned on running into his arms and saying she loved him and letting him kiss her. But she saw him and anger seeped up. She saw him pressed to Meredith. She saw the cruel words flowing out of his mouth. And she was angry.

"Addison."

His mouth went dry. Her hair was curly, and she was wearing a silk robe. Her arms were protectively wrapped around her stomach. She was just as Derek remembered.

"I didn't get buzzed."

"I know. I convinced the receptionist to let me up."

"Without confirming I know you."

"But you do know me."

Addison rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

"I'm sure."

"I did."

"You flew all the way out here to see me. Someone who you hated not four weeks ago."

"I love you. I wasn't going to let this be the end."

"You don't love me. God, Derek. You're in love with what we had. You're in love with the comfort. But for God's sakes, you don't love me."

"No, Addie, I'm in love with you. I love you. It took me an affair and a divorce to realize it, dammit, but it's true. I love you."

"Just go."

"No."

"Go. Now. You've done it again. I think I'm moving on and then you show up and drag me back down. Go."

Derek noticed the fire in her eyes and realized that he was a fool. To think she'd just come back. It wasn't going to be that easy. He turned around. "I'm still in love with you, you know."

Addison shook her head and shut the door.

Derek tromped back downstairs. He shook his head as the receptionist looked up hopefully. She sighed. "Maybe another time."

"Maybe."

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Addison slammed her head against the couch and sat down. That was not what she had planned. She had let him go, again. He had come all the way out here, regardless of if it was only for her, and she had let him go. She was a damn idiot. But she was angry. She saw him and felt anger. That wasn't how love was supposed to work. That was how hate worked.

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Mark Sloane sat alone in front of his television. He pondered on the fact that he didn't have a date, a girl, anything. It had been a few months since this had happened. He didn't even have work. Having sufficiently irritated Kirsten enough, she had banned him from working overtime. And here he was, watching sports.

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Derek passed through the lobby of Mark's apartment easily. The doorman commented on the lack of Derek's visits over the past year, but Derek was so easily recognized by the people at Mark's complex that none of his papers were necessary. They didn't buzz up to him either, assuming that Mark already knew. Derek had realized, after walking around for a while, that he may as well try to repair the relationships he had broken after running away. Mark was one of them. He ran up seven flights to Mark's apartment, figuring that some of his energy and nerve may escape if he walked. He knocked on the door before he could stop himself.

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Mark heard the door and was surprised he hadn't been buzzed. There were only a few people the doorman knew well enough to let up without a buzz. One of them was a redhead who might be willing to make amends.

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The door opened quicker than Derek would've imagined.

"Mark, I-"

"You bastard."

The door slammed in his face. Derek took a step back and tried not to laugh. He wasn't sure why he was laughing. Maybe it was his bad luck. Maybe it was the complete failure of what he was trying to do. The two people who had once meant everything to him now both hated him. Maybe it was that irony.

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Derek. Derek had come. The bastard had shown up. He had thought he could just talk to Mark after everything. After Derek's affair, after Derek's divorce, after pushing one of the only women Mark had ever truly loved to a breaking point. Derek thought he could waltz back in. This was more than irritating. It was wrong. Screw their friendship. It had dissolved the second Addison had asked Mark to bed with her. Mark had broken it. And he wasn't sorry. He wasn't sorry at all. Especially not with the way Derek had handled it.

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Derek stood at the front door of his mother's house, standing only with a shred of dignity and a soaked jacket. She might hate him too. But this was his mother. Her genetic code required her to love him. She had forgiven him before, she could do it again. Derek needed her to. He needed some form of acceptance. He rang the bell, failing to notice that it was now eleven. Funny to think that a mere four hours ago he had been sitting in the airport, his hopes higher than he'd ever admit. Nancy opened the door. Derek cursed his luck, smiling faintly as a wave of disgust flew over Nancy's face. She opened the door and sighed. "Enter if you must."

Derek thanked her and wiped off his feet on the mat. He strode past Nancy as quickly as he could and entered the kitchen. Emily Shepherd stood there, reading the remains of her paper.

"Mom…"

She looked up. "Derek." Her tone was guarded. "What brings you out to New Jersey?"

"I wanted to talk to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about my divorce until after. I'm sorry I disappointed you. I'm sorry about the affair…I'm sorry my marriage is over. Really, really sorry. Right now, I'd do anything to have it back."

Her eyes were shiny and the corners of them held tears. "I've missed you." And then she stood up and hugged him tightly. Derek rested his head in the crook of her neck, surprised at his own emotion. His nose began to run and he started crying. "I know you're sorry. I know you miss Addison. I also know that she misses you too."

"I don't think so."

"Derek, she moved back to New York because she couldn't stand being around you. She couldn't stand being around you because she loves you, and you weren't loving her back. She just needs a little time."

"I just saw her tonight, Mom. I went to her apartment. I tried once again to convince her that I loved her."

"It's going to take more than that."

"I know."

"It's going to take time. It's going to be bad. She's going to hate you for a while. But if you really love her, if you really want her as badly as you say you do; she'll come to terms. She's never stopped loving you. She just needs to stop hating you."

"She has reason to hate me."

"You both made mistakes," Emily said firmly. "Have you gotten over her affair? Because, Derek, that's a part of your history. It's going to come up."

"I'm trying. I'm trying to talk to Mark again. I think that the second Addison lets me into her life will be the second I can forgive her once and for all."

"Just don't rely on that. Forgive her before she lets you in."

Derek nodded. "Would I be able to stay here tonight?"

"Of course."

Derek turned up to go upstairs.

"Derek?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for coming out here to talk."

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A/N: Reviews are lovely. Which means you should press the little button on the left side and give me one. Please and thank you.