Last time, on The Adventures of the Black Knights...
Lelouch was standing over an operation table," Scalpel!"
Rolo reached into a bag and pulled out a sharp knife," Scalpel."
"Tongs!"
"Tongs."
The patient was already dying.
"Come on, live, damn you, LIVE!" Lelouch pounded on her chest, but it was over. C.C. was dead.
"It's over." Rolo went to the fridge," Hey, there;s still one more slice of pizza!"
C.C. woke up, "Really?"
Now back to the Adventure of the- wait a minute, did that actually happen?
At Kallen's prison...
It was getting dark in Kallen's cell. She was getting bored, and she was pretty sure the last one to wear her dress had an STD.
"Come on, Lelouch, where are you?" she wondered," I've been here for weeks!"
Just then, Nunnally walked into the room," Hi, Kali!"
"How many times did I tell you not to call me that, you twerp?"
"Sorry, I was just returning from the BATHROOM. Remember that?" asked Nunnaly, pulling out a photo of a toilet.
"Must...resist!" thought Kallen.
"It's easy to use the toilet, Kali," said Nunnally," Just give me my Ipod, and I'll let you go pee-pee!"
"Never! Besides, I already posted your playlist on MySpace!" Kallen pulled out a laptop," See?"
Nunnaly's Tunes
1. Hey there Villeta
2. Revolution Zero
3. Crank Dat Geass Boy
4. I'm Not OK
5. Brittanian Idiot
6. Give Me Refrain
"Most of these songs don't even exist!" said Kallen.
"Well, excuse me for listening to the Code US Border soundtrack!"
Outside...
The Black Knights were ready to break out Kallen: Tohdoh had the hannah Montana 3D concert in the DVD player, and every cannon was filled with tangy delicious sour Skittles.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," thought Zero inside his Knightmare,"I'm going to KILL C.C.!""
"Ready cannons!" yelled Tohdoh.
Every Knightmare approached the prison, cannons ready.
"Mr. Ohgi, why can't I have my own Knightmare?" asked Rivalz, who was sitting shotgun in Ohgi's Knightmare.
"Becuase, Rivalz," said Oghi," You're only in a few chapters, and why waste money on a homo like you?"
"The Brittanians have spotted us!" yelled Tohdoh
"Start movie," sighed Zero, knowing no one would possibly watch it.
As the movie began, the Brittanain Knightmare frames...they flew down to watch the movie!?"
"This is my best part!" cried one of the Brittanian soldiers," Thank you, Black Knights!"
Zero just froze," I gotta remember to kill whoever's writing this crap."
The Black Knights moved towards the prison wall, and more Brittanains came at them.
"Fire cannons!" ordered Tohdoh.
Zero couldn't bear to watch: the movie worked, but SKITTLES? That's about as retarded as it could get. The cannons fired, and Skittles scattered all over the enemy.
" Oh no, sour Skittles! RUN!" The Brittanians fled, making the way to Kallen clear.
" Oh. My God," Zero slammed his head agains his control panel, stupified.
"Unit Three, break out Kallen! Unit Five, guard the exits! Unit One, get me a cherry Coke!" With Tohdoh's orders, the Black Knights continued to free Kallen.
Inside...
"Skank!"
"Cripple!"
"Silicon!"
"Hair extensions!"
"Why, you-" Nunnaly leaped from her chair and banged on the orange force field," Pink haired hybrid freak!"
Kallen pulled out the laptop and pimp slapped Nunnally with it," You bitch!"
As Nunnaly fell, her head pressed the force field button, and Kallen was free.
" I'm free!" Kallen cried," Now I can take off this dress!"
Outside...
"Tohdoh, how's the mission?' asked Zero.
"It's good, but Kallen's not in her cell!"
"What!?" Zero slammed his fist against the control panel," Find her!"
"Huh? I can't hear you, you're all staticy!"
Zero had hit the panel too many times. Now his Knightmare was falling to the ground!
" Oh, SH-"
CRASH!
Zero limped out of the smashed Knightmare, his head on fire.
"Get it off me!" Zero ran around until he was in a Brittanian children's playground.
"Daddy, what's that?" asked a little girl, pointing at the flaming Zero.
"Just look away, honey, that's a terrorist."
"Oh."
Inside...
Kallen had already escaped the cell, and everyone was busy watching Hannah Montana, so she was safe.
"How do I get out of here? Hey look, a directory!" Kallen went over to the small directory in the corner," All right, my cell was about five stores away from the JC Penny, so now I'm near Yogurt Land and a Forever 21. Hm. I should've brought money."
Kallen walked towards the Target, the way out of the building.
Outside...
"Get it off, get it off!" Zero shook his head in a sandbox until his head stopped smoking.
However, the fire burnt away most of the mask, revealing his face," I've gotta get another mask, fast!"
As Lelouch ran into the building, Rivalz kept on bugging Ohgi about scooters.
"Do you like scooters?"
"No."
"What's your favorite brand?"
"I don't know any!"
"Do you know how to do tricks?"
" For the last time, I don't know how to ride a scooter, or anything involving the word scooter!"
"..."
"..."
"... So, do you like illegal chess gambling?"
Ohgi slammed his head on his control panel, and accidently ejected Rivalz into the air.
"AAAAAH!"
"Well, at least he's quiet from down here."
Inside...
Kallen walked down the hall until she saw the exit," Finally, I'm free!"
When she walked through, she saw that she was in a playground, and it looked like someone stuffed their head in the sandbox, and dragged a burning torch through the grass.
"Wow, Jackass must've been here." she said.
Behind her, she saw that the Black Knights were already there," They came for me!"
However, on the ground was a crashed Shinkiro, which was on fire.
"Lelouch!" By the time Kallen had gone out of sight, Lelouch had run out with a new Zero mask.
" It's a good thing that Hot Topic was having a sale on these things!" he said," Too bad they made me buy those million Zero costumes in bulk. I mean, when will I ever need a million Zeros?"
From up above, Zero saw a falling Knightmare chair...and it was falling on HIM.
THUD!
Zero rose up from the wreckage," Rivalz, what is the meaning of this!?"
"Well, excuse me if your Knights don't admire scooters!" Rivalz got up," Hey, there's a Target!"
Rivalz skipped over, and Zero sweatdropped.
Just then, Tohdoh called him from his helmet," Zero, they brought reinforcements, and the Lancelot's with them!"
" What!?" Zero ran to his Shinkiro," I'll be right there!"
In the sky...
Tohdoh and the others were already running out of energy from the last fight, but the Lancelot was still going strong.
" Take this, ya terrorists!" Suzaku took a broken Knightmare's arm and swung off Ohgi's Knightmare's head.
As the head flew, Anya took a picture of it from her Kightmare," Recorded."
"AAAH!"
CRASH!
Ohgi got out of the wreckage and saw Zero," Zero, you gotta help us, man! That Lancelot guy is CRAZY!"
"Just hold on, I just have to start up my-"
BOOM!!
"-Shinkiro." The Shinkiro's smashed up frame had exploded, and an ash-covered Kallen came out.
"Kallen!" Both Ohgi and Zero leaped at her, but she started strangling them.
"You idiots better have a good reason for being late!"
"Well, you see-" Just before Ohgi could finish, a scooter ran over him.
On it was Rivalz," Hey, guys! I got a great deal on this at a Home Depot! Did you know Brittania is 90% strip malls?"
" No, Rivalz, I didn't know that," said Zero," But first, we have no Knightmare, no plan, and two of the four of us have no balls!"
"What's that supposed to mean!?" cried Rivalz.
"Face it, man. Even Tamaki has more than you!" Zero huddled them all in," Now here's what I'm thinking..."
What's Zero's plan? Will they ever beat the Brittanians? Will Rivalz grow a pair? That's very doubtful, but the other two are possible! Now, a commercial break, with Rakshata's Knightmare frames Co.! Made by Mexicans in India.
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