A/N: You thought I abandoned this, didn't you all? I didn't. I just got lazy and lost direction. I pushed it a few weeks forward because I just couldn't make it work otherwise. Forgive me for taking so long to update.

Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy belongs to ABC and the title of the chapter is the song Liar, Liar by A Fine Frenzy.

*******

It was dark out. Addison sat up in bed, looking around. Oh, God. Oh, God. It all hit her hard. What had happened. Her head spun. She had told him. Told Derek about the abortion.

"Addie, what's wrong? You look so unhappy."

It was early January. They'd been dating for six weeks now, happily. They'd had Christmas together. Derek wanted to move back out to Manhattan. Everything should've been perfect.

"It's nothing."

"I know it's not nothing. What's going on?"

Addison's foot started to shake. Here was her moment. What she had been waiting for. Why she hadn't kissed Derek. This was it. "I...I..." She looked up, trying to stop her tears. "I...Ihadanabortion."

"What?"

"I had an abortion. Last summer. Before I went to Seattle. It was Mark's baby. I found out I was pregnant. And I had an abortion." She stood up to leave. "I'm sorry."

Derek stood there, his mouth open. He stood up. "Wait. Wait." He grabbed Addison's hand. "What? An abortion? You didn't tell me. You never told me. You were pregnant with Mark's baby? Mark's? Never mine, Addie, but the couple of weeks you sleep with Mark you get pregnant with his baby? Dammit. Damn." He looked so angry. Addison cowered, wondering if he'd slap her across the face. She deserved it, but Derek didn't even raise his hand.

"I'm so so sorry. I didn't want to tell you. This is why we haven't kissed. This is why. I didn't want to get physical with you until you knew that. Because now I know it'll be never. And at least I don't have to regret kissing you." She slipped her hand from Derek's and left.

Addison stood up and felt the blood rush all over her body. Her head hurt. She had gone to the bar, to get rid of her thoughts. To forget that Derek was never, ever coming back. She was groggy and disoriented, trying to remember the day. Sunday. She didn't have work today. No work today. Her clock said that it was 2. A glance out the window told her probably two in the afternoon.

So Derek was done. Over. It was okay. It would be okay. One day, five years from now, it would be okay. She had tried. But she had made too many mistakes to hope for redemption.
She'd find someone else. There had to be someone else. To assume Derek was the only one for her was childish. She wasn't 17 anymore, wondering who her "soulmate" was. She was close to 40. She would figure it out. There was someone else. And Manhattan was the perfect place to find him.

*******

Derek was sitting in his hotel room. Addison. His Addison had had an abortion. Mark's baby. The words rattled around his head. They wouldn't leave, no matter how much scotch he drank. He was drinking scotch. How old was he, to be drinking scotch? Fifty? Sixty? Not forty.

He should've expected it. Things were too perfect. Too damn perfect. And nothing, nothing was perfect. Every time, something always, always went wrong. Derek stumbled around, looking for his plane ticket. He located it in his pocket. He'd already missed his flight. He tore the ticket up and dropped the scraps of paper in the trash can. Maybe he'd just stay here in this hotel room until he died. He had no reason to live anymore. His job? He didn't care. His job could go to hell, for all he cared. Maybe he could get back with Meredith. Maybe he could fuck her. Maybe she'd let him. They could both get drunk and he could fuck her and forget Addison.

The more he drank, the more logical all of this sounded. He had a plan. As soon as he could get his act together, he'd get a plane back to Seattle. He'd find Meredith and because he knew he was damn irresistible, he'd sleep with her. And she'd stay with him, screw Finn, because he was Derek Shepherd. Derek Shepherd. No one denied Derek Shepherd.

Derek got up, changed his clothes, and grabbed his bag. He had a damn good plan. Drunk, maybe. But it was a plan. A plan that would help him forget. Derek strolled out of the hotel, after paying, and was walking down Fifth Avenue when a brilliant plan came to him.

He walked up to Mark's apartment, just a few blocks over, and stalked upstairs. He buzzed the doorbell and Mark opened it. Derek sneered, then placed what he thought was a square punch to Mark's head. Mark dodged it, before pulling Derek inside.

"What the hell is your problem?"

Derek laughed. "Like you don't know. Is Addison here?"

"What the hell? No."

"Just wondering. She likes sleeping with you. You're probably a sex god, Mark. That's why she loved fucking you. Loves. I'm sorry, my mistake. She was probably here last night. That's why you get her pregnant in a few weeks whereas I was married to her for years and years and we never had a kid. Never."

Mark sighed. "She told you."

"No, I'm a goddamn psychic. I'm going to make my own television show."

"You're drunk."

"I know. Drunk and happy. For once in my pathetic, miserable life."

"Sit down."

"I don't take orders from you."

"Sit down or I'll knock you out."

"Go ahead." Derek laughed. "Go ahead."

Mark pushed Derek onto the couch. "I'll talk to you when you're sober. But not now. Now, you're going to go to sleep. Sleep off the alcohol. And then we'll talk."

"About how good Addison is in bed."

"If it's what you want."

"She's damn good in bed. Damn good."

Mark said nothing and refocused his eyes on the television.

"Isn't she? Answer me!"

Mark still said nothing.

Derek laughed. "Well, at least she had the abortion. You would've been a father just like yours, a shit father."

"I would not have!"

Derek looked surprised, then laughed. "You actually wanted her to have the baby. Oh, my God," he said, sitting up. "You wanted her to have the baby. I can't believe it."

"I asked her to marry me."

Derek stopped and looked at Mark. "Really?" He wasn't angry, being drunk, just curious.

"She said she wouldn't ever. She said she couldn't ever marry me, date me, or anything. She moved out the next day, and the next time I talk to her I find out she's in Seattle. she's had an abortion, and she's trying her marriage again."

"Yeah. Yeah. We tried. Until I fucked Meredith at prom."

"Bastard," Mark spat. "You're a bastard, you know that?"

"Because sleeping with your best friend's wife isn't the mark of a bastard at all. Haha, Mark. Mark of a bastard."

"You son-of-a-bitch. You know you walked out of that marriage long before I walked in."

"But I never cheated. I came close. But I never cheated. She cheated. She ruined the marriage. It was her."

"It was you."

"She was the straw that broke the camel's back. And I thought I could just leave her alone after fucking Meredith at prom, but I still love her. God, I still love Addison so much."

"But you didn't have to leave her. You could've stayed."

Derek shook his head. "I couldn't have. I know that, better than you do. It shocked me too much. I couldn't have looked at her anymore." Derek's eyelids were getting heavy.

"She loves you."

"I love her. I screwed up too much. She screwed up too much. You're still a bastard, Mark. I'm still going to punch you...soon..."

Mark sighed as Derek fell asleep. Hopefully he would wake up with a clearer mind.

******

Addison wanted her mind to shut off. She didn't want to hear it anymore. She was tired of hearing it. She was tired of reliving what she had already lived once. She didn't know who to call. She couldn't call Savvy. She couldn't call Mark, no, not this time. Not ever again. She couldn't call most people.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end made Addison smile to herself stupidly.

"Parker, it's Addison."

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?"

"To whom, actually."

"To whom, then, do I owe the pleasure?"

"Derek Shepherd."

"Really? What did he do now?"

"More like what I did. Told him about the abortion."

"Oh, Addison."

"He's gone. He's not coming back. Ever."

"Don't say that. You don't know that, you're not God. You don't know what's going to happen as well as he does."

Addison snorted. "God, sure. I really believe a god is behind all this," she paused, looking for the appropriate word, "shit. If there's someone behind this, they're terribly evil."

Parker laughed. "Maybe so. But don't assume what you don't know. Maybe Derek just needed some time to process. I mean, what did you expect?"

Addison thought for a moment. "I guess I expected him to tell me it wasn't a big deal, that he was sorry I had to experience that, and that he loved me. Which I guess, now that I'm hearing it, sounds selfish and stupid."

"See," Parker said.

"I still don't think he's coming back though. Ever."

"Twenty bucks and dinner on me says he does."

"You're on."

Parker laughed. "How are you otherwise?"

"Good. Work is good, Savvy and Weiss are good, everything else is perfect. I just have a terrible love life. High highs and low lows and I'd rather be steady. Steady and sure of everything."

"I don't have a great work life."

"Why?"

"I'm getting sick of my assistant. He's nervous and awkward and I can't deal with it. But I can't fire him, he's got a year contract."

Addison groaned in sympathy. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"How's your love life?"

"I'm dating this girl, her name is Julie. We've been dating for only two weeks. But I like her, she's really funny and a little wild."

Addison laughed. "Just what you like, eh, Parker?"

"I just like the danger," he said, laughing. "A bit of mystery."

Addison paused, deciding whether or not to ask the question on the tip of her tongue. "Parker," she said slowly.

"Addison," he said, just as slowly.

"Why didn't you date me? Or try? Am I not your type?"

"Addison, I knew from that first night that you still loved Derek. And that I didn't have a chance. If Derek wasn't in the picture, I would've tried to date you. You're beautiful, Addison, and you're smart and funny too. But as to type, I don't know. Am I your type? Would you have wanted to date me?"

"I would've wanted to try. At least go out to dinner, I guess."

"See, my point exactly. I don't know. I'm glad we're friends, though. This way we still talk, whereas if we dated we might have never spoken after we stopped dating."

"Yeah."

"Listen, Addison, I have to go. Sorry. But call me later this week, okay? Or I'll call you. I know that you love Derek, and I'd bet he loves you."

"You are betting. Twenty bucks and dinner."

Parker laughed. "This is true. But so are you."

"One of us will win."

"And I'm betting it's you."

"Whatever you say, Parker."

"Bye, Addison. Stay strong. Don't worry, he'll be back."

"Bye, Parker."

********

Derek stepped off his plane, back in Seattle. He was still angry. He was still frustrated. He still didn't know what to do.

It was pouring out. A typical Monday night. He got a cab to take him through the streets. He had the cab stop in front of a house that had invaded his dreams last year. He paid the cabbie and walked up to the house, knocking on the front door.

Meredith looked surprised to see him, to say the least.

********

A/N: I can promise that I will not wait so long to update ever again. Sorry. Don't tar and feather me.