Buffy sat up with a gasp. Beside her Giles gave a small shriek and the book he had been reading went flying. "Buffy!" he exclaimed. "Dear lord!"
"Giles!" Buffy lunged from the bed and threw her arms around her Watcher. Confused, he nevertheless embraced her back. "Oh, my god, I've missed you so much," she said, tears starting in her eyes.
"Um, lovely to see you too," Giles said uncertainly. "Are you sure you're feeling all right?"
"I'm fine," she said, releasing him. "I'm really fine. Ow!" She winced and rubbed the back of her head. "Why does my head hurt?"
"You—ah—hit it yesterday. Quite a blow. Broke the window."
Buffy blinked at him. "Yesterday… Oh!" She climbed out of the hospital bed and began pulling on her clothes. "We have to get back to the house. Now!"
"Buffy, are you certain that's a good idea? You've been unconscious for over a day."
"I have to get back," she said firmly. "Micah and Caddie will be freaking out. This is all new to them and they don't know anyone."
"What are you talking about?" Giles asked plaintively as he trailed behind her.
"Angel finally made it to Revona," Buffy said distractedly. "He managed to bring us back except it's been twelve years for us and only a day for you and the girls are going to be so scared." She completely ignored Giles' confused stuttering and the nurses' protests on her way out of the hospital. She seemed ready to walk home if she had to when Giles caught her arm.
"My car is this way," he said, accepting defeat. She stared at him for a heartbeat.
"Oh, right," she said. "Cars. So we don't have to walk. This is going to take some getting used to."
She barely spoke during the drive except to urge Giles to drive faster. She had thrown open the door even before the car stopped moving and threw open the front door, yelling, "Caddie! Micah! Angel!"
Caddie burst out from the kitchen and skidded to a halt in front of her mother. Buffy wrapped the girl in as tight a hug as she could humanly manage. Micah appeared not far behind and was included in the embrace. Buffy was crying as she set the girls back, touching their faces, their hair, for the first time in twelve years.
Giles edged around the three of them and leaned in to whisper to Doyle. "What is going on?"
"Apparently twelve years passed in the dimension they were in," he whispered back. Giles started in alarm.
"So that means…" he trailed off, pointing at the girls.
"The little one is Caddie. Buffy sort of adopted the other one."
Buffy pulled herself away from her girls and walked over to Angel. She grabbed his face in both hands and pulled him down for a kiss. When they finally broke apart, she hugged Doyle tightly. Oz was absent, gone to wash the blood away. Cordelia got a hug, too.
"Where's Dawn?" Buffy asked. "And Willow?"
"In here," Cordelia led the way to the living room. Willow sat next to the couch on which Dawn was stretched. The teenager was pale and still, her eyes flickering beneath the lids.
"What happened?" Buffy demanded, dropping to her knees beside her sister.
"She opened a portal to the place where you were," Willow explained. "I think it took a lot out of her."
Buffy placed her hand on Dawn's forehead. "Dawn? Can you hear me? Dawn? Dawnie?"
Dawn's eyes fluttered open and she focused on Buffy's face. "Buffy," she whispered. "You're back. So many places. I saw them. Saw everything. Thousands and thousands of doorways all connecting and going into each other and Spike was there. He held my hand and said it was going to be okay."
"He was right," Buffy said with a smile. "Everything's going to be okay."
*****
Micah and Caddie peered up at Buffy from under the covers of Buffy's old bed. Both girls were so exhausted they could barely keep their eyes open but they were too nervous to sleep.
"What is going to be like here?" Caddie asked. "Will we be safe?"
"I don't know," Buffy said honestly. "But we're not going to let anything happen to you. You have me and your father to take care of you, all right?"
"He isn't my father," Micah pointed out bluntly. "My father's dead. Wolfram & Hart killed him."
"Angel can be your new father if you let him," Buffy told her. "You're part of our family now, Micah."
"I'm afraid," Caddie said, cuddling closer to her mother. Buffy stroked her hair.
"I know. So am I. It's going to take a lot of getting used to. For all three of us. But we'll be together, and that's what's important, okay? Get some sleep. We've got lots to do in the morning."
"Will you stay?" Micah asked. She looked sheepish. "Until we fall asleep? It's…different here."
"I'm not going anywhere," Buffy said with a smile. She sat on the edge of the bed and held their hands until their eyes closed and their breathing evened out. Angel watched from the doorway. When he was sure they were asleep, he ventured in to stand by the bed.
"Are they going to make it?" he asked softly.
"They're strong girls," she replied. Angel put his hand on his wife's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, beloved," he said quietly. "I should have kept this from ever happening."
She sighed heavily. "Twelve years is a long time, Angel. I didn't know what you were doing or why you never came. I almost gave up hope you ever would. I spent twelve years alone, unable to touch my children, unable to interact with anything physical." She looked up, her hazel-green eyes haunted. "I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to get over that."
Angel stepped backwards, feeling as if he had been slapped. "I'm sorry," he said again, and turned to leave. He heard the bed creak as Buffy got up and she grabbed his arm.
"Come here," she instructed, and led him into their bedroom. She turned to face him. "Twelve years without touching anything," she said in an odd tone.
She gave him a little push until he sat down on the bed and she settled on his lap. Very gently, she brushed her lips against his forehead and across each cheekbone as if relearning his features. She touched her lips against his, first lightly, and then more passionately.
"Touch me," she begged him, taking his face in her hands. "Make me feel again. Oh God, Angel, I missed you so much!"
Suddenly it felt as if there was too much separating them and they couldn't be rid of their clothing fast enough. But even when it was skin against bare skin and they held each other in their arms, there was a barrier that couldn't be torn down in a single night. For Buffy, it had been the first time her husband had made love to her in twelve years. She had almost forgotten the taste and feel of him, the way he moved and breathed. He hadn't changed, just her. She had twelve years that he would never be able to share. He would never witness their child growing up. It would always stand between them.
When Buffy cried, Angel kissed away the tears and hoped he wasn't the cause.