Pardon the switch from present to past tense but the muse refused to continue in present tense because it just wouldn't work. To be honest, I'm not liking this chapter all that much. It's got humor, it's got Mello, it's got Potter and it's got Matt. It's just a bitch to write, I think is the problem. Trying to get it to flow properly and feel smooth instead of choppy and forced, as it turns out, is not what this chapter wanted to do.

So, uhm. I apologize if this feels forced and choppy and totally not cool (that's how it feels to me, maybe I'm just picky?). But I'm not giving up on this baby just yet. I've got all sorts of plans for Hogwarts, and Hermione and Ron and Death Eaters and Draco. -vague hand flails in direction of chapter- Yeah, please ignore my ramblings and read on. I'll try harder, I swear. (Keep an eye out for Another Note reference, by the way. )

As a sidenote, this fic has been fondly termed "Mellomort", for those of you who want to giggle about it.

Harry Potter was, without a doubt, the most infuriating eleven year old Mello had ever had the misfortune to raise.

He had been at least ten times less annoying during their initial meeting during Potter's infancy, where he'd wailed like a banshee for a solid three hours before Mello had calmed him down.

Of course, the reason he'd been wailing in the first place had been because Mello had just driven both of his parents into insanity with an overuse of the Cruciatus Curse, first because James had drunkenly spilled Fire Whiskey all over his favorite leather pants and then because Lily Potter had not taken the news that her husband was insane with much grace.

Mello didn't handle women screaming at him very well. (He didn't count sex, because women usually screamed pleasant things at him during sex, not "You're a heartless monster and you deserve to be in Azkaban," etc, etc.)

Harry still hadn't forgiven him for that mishap either. (He knew about his parents because Mello had taken him to see them every weekend since the day he'd taken him in. Harry never failed to be an utter brat immediately after every visit, either.) Mello couldn't wait until Harry had received his Hogwarts letter and he could send the brat off to school and only have to see him a few months out of every year for the next seven years.

xxxxx

The day Harry's letter arrived, Mello was more excited than the boy in question.

"You're finally going to Hogwarts!" he crowed excitedly, dragging poor Harry around the house to pack things Mello deemed necessary for schooling. "You're going to need quills and parchment, I have those all over the place... And here's some books for evening reading because you'll probably get bored." He piled books into Harry's arms, grinning like a maniac.

"I'm finally free of you! Not that you can't come back during holidays and summer of course, but please for the love of Merlin make some friends so that I can be free of you for the majority of the year? Your sulking gets on my nerves."

"Uh, right then..."

"Excellent. We'll go to Diagon Alley tomorrow after breakfast to get the school supplies that I can't scrounge up for you already. Let me see that list."

Harry handed it over before wandering off to find something to do, leaving Mello alone to see what Harry would need.

xxxxx

It was decided the next day that Harry would not need to buy a cauldron, scales or other such things needed for Potions classes, as Mello had some of his own school things, which were still usable. Harry could have those. The rest, such as schoolbooks and a new owl (the owl they'd had before had been hit by lightening the other week during a delivery and Mello had yet to replace it, so he had told Harry that since they were going to get a new owl anyway he might as well get one for Harry too.), and other things would be bought in Diagon Alley.

Mello had never taken Harry to Diagon alley before as he'd done most of his shopping in Muggle stores or by owl-post, so Harry's initial impression of Diagon Alley was marked by crowds, loud noises and excessive swearing from Mello when a wizard had mistaken the blond in Muggle clothing for an actual Muggle and had almost wiped his memory of Diagon Alley.

He was saved from a memory wipe by a quick sidestep, a schoolbook and Harry kicking the poor wizard in the shin. When he'd realized it was Mello he'd been about to use magic on, the poor man nearly had a heart attack and scrambled off, spouting apologies and my deepest regrets my good sir, please forgive me, I didn't mean anything by it, good day!

It was around lunchtime that Harry and Mello ran into one of Mello's old classmates, Matt. They'd been standing at a pet shop with an owl display, trying to decide which two of the owls they would buy when the door swung open, catching Mello in the side and sending him stumbling for three steps. The building rage had died when he'd spotted the redhead in goggles wearing an apron with the shop logo, and he'd actually laughed.

"Matt, really? I didn't think I'd ever see your Hufflepuff ass again."

"Funny. I could say the same about your Slytherin ass."

Mello waved a hand. "Yes, well. I had other things to do," he answered, glancing down when Harry coughed. "Oh, right. This is Harry Potter. My sort of ward."

Matt raised an eyebrow, holding the door for the two as they moved inside. "Sort of ward?"

"Yeah. I cursed his parents insane-"

"I'm still mad at you for that."

"So I've been raising him the past eleven years."

"Somehow, I'm not surprised. I heard you were running all over the country cursing people left and right, then there was just silence with only an occasional curse. Was wondering what happened." He moved behind the counter as Harry went to inspect the owls. Mello leaned on the counter.

"Trying to make a baby stop screaming like a banshee makes it rather hard to 'run around the country cursing people left and right'. And I wasn't cursing them left and right. I was cursing idiots who fucked with me."

"And Dumbledore?"

"..The old badger had it coming. Sending me back to that Wammy's every summer and on holidays? I hold grudges, you should know that by now."

Matt snorted. "I know. Considering you held a grudge for me for four years over some silly prank."

"I got you back for it-Harry stop poking the owls and pick one."

"I am picking one," he snapped back. "I don't want a stupid owl. I want a smart one."

"If it's a smart one you're after, try the white one on the left. She's a bitch, but she can spell with magnets, which is more than the rest of them can do. I think she might know a few tricks too, if you offer some treats."

"I'll take her then."

Matt rang up the price for the owl, then a price for a second when Mello chose one for himself and after a few more moments of idle conversation, Harry and Mello left the shop. Harry named both owls on their way to lunch; Hedwig for his own, and Backyard Bottomslash for Mello's. He refused to tell Mello why he'd chosen that name for the owl, but Mello wasn't sure he really wanted to know.

xxxxx

Hogwarts was larger than Harry had expected, even after Mello's descriptions and promises that the castle-school was larger than anything Harry had ever seen before.

He couldn't stop staring, even after he'd climbed into the boat with a bunch of other first years following Hagrid's calls of "Firs' years! Firs' years come this way!", and his mouth fell open when they'd gotten closer and he realized that Hogwarts was even larger up close than it was from across the lake.

He couldn't wait to see inside.

IRRELEVANT SIDENOTE THAT IS OPTIONAL TO READ BUT OFFERS GREAT THINGS TO THOSE OF YOU WHO READ AND AGREE. FEEL FREE TO IGNORE: I am currently offering a oneshot-in-return-for-art trade. My friend Contemptus and I have two Death note RP OC's who we ship together so hard, and we really really want fanart of these guys. (Because omfg guys, seriously these boys as a pairing is beyond epic with the way they interact.) So, anyone willing to draw fanart of our boys for us will receive oneshots in return. PM me for more details and to work out the whole trade thing, if you're interested. (If you happen to use dragcave. net, I am totally willing to give you two gold eggs in exchange for fanart if you want.)