Lithuania?

Why don't you smile anymore?

…I'm sorry…

Maybe if you'd like,

I can be your only pawn

This time.

Chapter VI

It didn't take long for him to notice that the warm glow was ebbing away from the beryl orbs.

Often, he would meet Lithuania at his desk and cling to his arm, desperate to let him know he was still there.
But deep inside, Russia found trying to retain that unmistakable warmth was like trying to cup water with broken hands—the pristine liquid would slowly but surely trickle through the immutable cracks.

Lithuania hated war, Russia was sure of this. No doubt mobilizing for it would take this sort of toll on the smaller man. More than once did he ignore his own desire for vengeance to draw the other out of his qualm for the others.

"Toris, you can't go on like this."

Lithuania didn't respond for he was already sleeping with his head lying against the sprawled sheets of both signed and unsigned documents. His cap-less pen was still resting between his fingers, the tip long dried-out.

Disregarding the protest in his bones, Russia took the sleeping nation in his arms, trying not to notice the dark circles beneath the other's eyes.

-x-X-x-

Lithuania reckoned several hours had already passed since he first nodded off.

Augh… the papers… His hand instinctively reached over for his pen but instead, his fingers met with something soft. Puzzled, his blinked, trying to rid his eyes of sleep. He expected to see the surface of his desk instead of the ceiling—the unexpected change in coordination threw off his sense of balance, causing his head to feel dizzy for a moment.

When his vision finally steadied itself, he peered over to see what he had touched.

Russia was lying right next to him, his face half-concealed by the arm he had thrown over Lithuania's chest to keep him in place.

As he tried to sort out his jumbled thoughts, Russia's own eyes slowly opened, his gaze meeting Lithuania's.

He opened his mouth the answer the silent question that hung in the air. "I didn't want you to hurt your head sleeping like that," Ivan explained innocently, "The doctor told you to be careful without a cast, da?"

Toris nodded, momentarily lost for words. It was true—he had been kept at the hospital for a few days before he was finally released a week ago. Aside from the occasional throbbing, he felt perfectly fine— it wasn't too bad, but he supposed falling asleep against something like the desk wasn't the best way to treat his injury.

"Mmf… thank you," he said, sounding softer than he intended. His throat felt so dry and constricted—honey tea sounded nice. Even though he wanted nothing more than to lie there sipping tea for the remainder of the day with Ivan, there was still work to be done…

He made a move to get up but Russia's concerned gaze stopped him. "You're leaving? You must rest, da?"

Lithuania was thinking of saying something along the lines of "I'm fine" but he doubt it would even convince Russia in the very least. Instead, he went with, "I... I'm busy, someone needs to sign the papers…" Someone meaning him, and him alone. Who else, after all?

"I can bring them up and Toris can work in bed," he offered.

Lithuania tried not to blush as he mentally slapped himself for thinking of that. It was totally and completely innocent. Ignoring his wishes, his cheeks flushed up anyways.

"Ah…" He wanted to deny but that look Ivan was giving him was making everything harder than it should be.

"You're all red—is Lithuania sick?" He tilted his head, worried.

Thump – Thump – Thump…

"Just the stress," Toris said. It was a lie and a bad one at that. What was he thinking? Russia always seemed to be able to see through his fibs like a looking glass.

"Oh? Should I make tea then? Black tea would be good for stress, yes?" The last part was more of a statement to himself rather than a question for Lithuania.

….Thump – Thump – Thump…

Unable to hold out any longer, Lithuania buried his face into the covers and inhaled deeply. "O-okay. You can leave the papers downstairs, though," he gave in.

Russia agreed, clearly more than happy to comply.

-x-X-x-

"…And the higher ups want to negotiate a lower price for the oil and steel. This way, production will be… much… is… requirements… also…"

Toris nodded on and off as he tried to focus on the matters at hand. Normally, he had no problem paying attention to others while they rambled on—especially when their rambles happened to concern important issues, but concentrating proved to be increasingly difficult nowadays. He hoped it wasn't anything permanent.

Lithuania knew better than to get used to the peaceful week. Twenty days ago, the border countries declared neutrality in the case of war. "We just don't want anything to spread," they explained; Lithuania wasn't upset nor did he actually care.

Seventeen days ago, he told Poland to secure his borders (his territory held the shortest land route between East Germany and Lithuania after all). He still hated the possibility that Poland might be dragged into the whole mess despite his constant reassurance. "Don't worry, Liet! Let me help you for once."

Ten days ago, he began to properly secure his own borders while mobilizing and clearing both his air and navy space. "Clear the harbors, just in case."

On the same day, he sent a formal message to Prussia warning against any further advancement. There was no return message and Lithuania couldn't help but feel it was all in vain.

He hated war.

Technically, there was no war, but it still felt like it. The rising tension in his gut constantly bothered him – even in his sleep. He wondered if Russia felt the same.

"Sir?" Lithuania's attention was drawn back to the sergeant who was still on the other end of the phone.

"Oh- sorry," he quickly apologized, "I was just considering everything. Fine, fine, just don't push them too hard—money isn't a priority."

"Yes, sir." He hung up and Lithuania set the phone down, sighing in relief.

He was about to return to the peaceful duty of mulling over papers when someone knocked.

"Eh-?"

"Lithuania! It's me, America! Can I come in?"

Bemused, Lithuania resisted the urge to tell Alfred that the door was not in fact, soundproof, so he didn't need to yell. "Yes, go ahead, the door's unlocked."

The French doors practically burst opened and Lithuania found himself locked in a warm bear hug by the other nation.

"A-America!" He stammered.

Alfred let go, grinning. "Sorry for the short notice! The guys told me you were busy but I came anyways. The front door was unlocked so…" He scratched his head. "Shouldn't you have locked it though? Especially with guys like Gilbert lurking around."

This was all too sudden—Lithuania wasn't sure how to respond. "E-er… yeah…"

"Oh!" America held up a finger in thought. "Which reminds me, I totally support your actions right now. You see, Iggy was really worried about how you would handle things—I told him not to worry." His tone turned into something a little more serious as he eyed Lithuania. "I'm glad you chose to do something about all this, though. The big guys here in Europe were being really anal about everything—they thought you wouldn't be able to handle Russia anymore if you couldn't stand up against Prussia or East Germany- whatever."

Lithuania sighed. "Yeah, I heard something about that."

America nodded. "So anyways, I was wondering if you still need my help. The economy's good and running over in North America and you know we have no problem with sending support."

He smiled. "Thank you. You know I appreciate it, but…" He met his gaze, "I don't want this fight to spread, if you know what I mean. Prussia is fighting to invade and if too many countries get involved then he might be tempted to create new goals."

America thought about this. "I suppose you're right. I was just thinking the sooner we end this, the better."

"I suppose so. It's just… Feliks wants to fight with me and there's Estonia and Latvia and Russia." He tried not to bury his face in his hands.

America reached over to place a gloved hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure you guys will figure something out."

Lithuania already knew what he was going to do, but it didn't help matters. He only nodded wordlessly, gazing downward.

America went on, "I don't mean to add on to the pressure or anything, but whatever you do, don't lose this war."

His fixed stare was so intense that Lithuania was forced to look back up. "I know, but why?"

There was urgency in his eyes, Toris saw. "They'll take him away. The bastards don't view Ivan as his own independent nation anymore even though his is. Even I know that."

"…And what if that is against his will?" Lithuania asked, fighting to keep the rising anger in his voice down. He already had an idea about what the answer was.

"They're willing to do anything—it's like he's not even 'human' to them anymore. They'll use drugs, bondage, anything. Worst part is, everyone supports this option except me and maybe England, but he's not being exactly clear about it. Suppose it does come down to this—what am I supposed to do? Beat all of them up and take over Russia? Then I'll be just as bad as them, won't I?

"It just bothers me. I know it's one whole plot to split Russia into many pieces for themselves. If you end up losing the war, then they'll just use that whole 'you're not strong enough' excuse for a cover up because they know you won't have the strength to fight back if they do decide to take over."

"America…"

"Look, you have enough on your own plate. But if your side starts to die out a little bit, they'll probably take action. They won't even wait for the war to actually end because they don't want Prussia marching in there claiming everything. If you need help, Christ, just call for me, okay?"

It was funny how the war hadn't even started and they were talking like it already –has-

But Lithuania couldn't fool himself—he knew the inevitable.

"I… I will." It was all he could manage. There were no words to describe the utter hurt and betrayal he felt.

America looked satisfied if a bit stressed at the same time. "Meanwhile, I'll see if I can change their minds. Just hold on, all right?"

Lithuania only nodded, biting his tongue.

America let go of his shoulder and turned to leave. "Good luck, then." And he was gone.

-x-X-x-

Estonia figured something was wrong when he found Lithuania leaning against the front of his desk, facing him and Latvia.

He swallowed unnervingly. "Toris?"

His dull green eyes seemed to focus at the sound of his name. "Oh, you're here," he pointed out needlessly. "There's something I need to tell you…"

"Are you all right?"

Lithuania blinked, glazing over his eyes. "Of course I am. But that's not the point. As you know, I'm on the brink of war."

He nodded and Latvia remained silent, casting nervous looks between the two.

"I can't lose this battle. Prussia's going to make the first move against me, I know that for sure but no matter what, we have to protect our land—do you know where I'm going with this?"

Estonia nodded again, speaking out this time, "Yes, you want our help as well. It's three countries - or four if you count Russia – against one. We can beat him in no time-"

"Estonia…"

"-also we have plenty of surplus for you if you need it. Our navies and air force have you covered as well. Honestly, Lithuania—you know you don't need to ask us for help-"

"Estonia."

He stopped in mid sentence. "I- what?"

"You and Latvia are released from the union." That was it; blunt and brusque. There were no more words to soften what they heard.

"Released!?" It was Latvia—much to their surprise— who protested angrily after a moment's silence, "What do you mean? We joined the union willingly!"

Estonia was just as shocked and appalled as his younger brother. "What… why?"

Lithuania's depression was evident as he answered, "It's for your own good. If you stay with me, he'll be obliged to drag you two in as well."

Bullshit, Estonia wanted to shout. "Thing's have been going perfectly fine for years! Now you want us to leave—you can't just kick us out!"

"Besides, even if we are in different places, Prussia can still attack us!" Latvia added on.

Lithuania's expression tightened as did his grip on the table. "You'll be safer away from here. As the creator of the union, I can break it apart. This is an order—I want both of you to leave the this place."

The two looked defeated.

"You can't do this," Estonia said quietly.

"I can," he replied, "This is my final decision. I want you gone by tomorrow." His voice was sharp and bitter—very much unlike Lithuania. Estonia thought he could still see the growing cracks behind the green irises. He didn't want this.

"You…"

Lithuania ignored him. "When you're back at your own place, fortify your borders anyways. It's only a suggestion since when you leave, I'll have no more authority over you."

"And what if we try to interfere under our own authority?"

"Then I'll set up a complete embargo."

He was going to leap forward to grab Lithuania by the collar but Latvia stopped him. He had to settle with shouting at him instead. "What!? If you do that, you're going to end up just like him! There's no chance! Alone! You- you…!" He couldn't go on. It wasn't very often he lost his temper like this but Lithuania…

Toris's expression revealed nothing. "You're dismissed."

Estonia felt rigid as he tried to calm himself. Disgusted, he left, slamming the door and taking Latvia with him.

-x-X-x-

The edge of the desk was digging into his spine as Lithuania struggled to take in enough air to calm his nerves. It took all his strength to deny his emotions and force out the other two against their will.

It was useless—he let out a strangled scream as he slid down the wooden front of his desk. He pulled his knees to his chest as he wrapped his arms around himself.

His eyes and nose burned as he sobbed into starched cloth. Pent-up emotions forced themselves out in the form of several fat tears.

He tried so fucking hard…

…yet in the end, it had to turn out like this.

Raw, wet emotion pushed through his heart and invaded his lungs, leaving him to gasp and hiccup for air.

He wasn't sure how long he was left to cry—he didn't even notice the doors had reopened until algid arms wrapped themselves around his shuddering figure.

Russia's arms and hands were cold, but his chest was warm and Lithuania was left with nothing to do but let himself be held by the other. Ivan stroked his hair tenderly while whispering words of comfort into his ear.

"Oh, Toris," he murmured, his voice mournful, "why did you do that?"

Lithuania tasted salt as he swallowed—he wanted to answer, but he couldn't find the right words. What should he say? That he wanted to protect them? That he didn't want them to get hurt? It was for the best, wasn't it…? So then why did it feel like his heart was going to collapse in on itself?

Maybe all this time he wanted everyone to stay together just like back then. But of course it wasn't going to work out—maybe he wasn't strong enough.

Well at least now he can pay for his mistakes alone.

More hot tears poured out and Russia gently kissed them away—his cool lips like ice against his flushed skin.

"I-I'm so sel-selfish," his sentence ended in a sharp gasp as he tried to hold back his sobs.

Ivan only hushed him softly and tightened the embrace, closing the distance between them.

-x-X-x-

Three days later at Gdansk, Poland.

Feliks really didn't like spending his time on Coast Guard duty but Liet told him to watch out for weird things.

"Nine hours and all I got was a stranded fishing ship," he sighed, grabbing a stick of paluszki to chew on. "Liet, be totally glad I'm doing this for you."

Twice he dozed off and twice he woke up, only to find that nothing had shown up, still. He was just about ready to call in someone else to take his place when the radar started beeping. Nothing showed up on the grid.

"Eh, that's strange. Forty kilometers from Hel?" He pressed a few buttons for details but large green letters cascaded across the screen.

JAMMED

Poland smashed the keys in frustration. "Who jammed the radar!?" As he hollered, "NO INPUT" flashed in red across another screen.

"Our UAVs have been shot down, sir. We don't have any signal from Gdansk all the way to Kaliningrad," someone answered. "And we're getting interference from a third party."

Poland cursed. "You have got to be kidding me. I want you to like, contact whoever's out there and send some ships out, whatever. Hurry up!" He snapped his fingers impatiently.

I better tell Liet about this.

He quickly adjusted the microphone before sending a signal to one of Lithuania's ships.

Come on… come on, pick up…!

He almost broke the device in half when no one answered. He tried again desperately.

Finally-

"Hallo, what's up?"

The German accent was unmistakable. His eyes widened. "You-! Like, what the hell do you think you're doing!?"

Prussia chuckled from the other end. "What? You're the one who called. I'm just answering."

"I-I called for one of Liet's ships. What did you do!?"

"Woah, calm down. I only shot down a few of your toys and picked up this neat little destroyer. Awesome, isn't it?"

"Yeah, well I'm totally telling Liet about this and he's going to stop you. You're not welcome here."

Prussia tsk'd. "I didn't think so… Hey, if your friend happens to find out about my plan, I'll just have to shoot the crew won't I?"

Poland's blood ran cold. "A-and what if I don't care? They're not my people."

"I thought about that actually. Well you see, as we're chatting, my guys are in the middle of capturing two Polish ships. That gives me plenty of leverage, don't you think?"

He gripped the microphone tightly. "You're totally bluffing."

"Hardly, if you let me pass to Konigsburg, I'll let one ship go. This is only between me and Lithuania after all, right?"

"Kaliningrad? You can't invade there. The place is already-"

"'Course I can. And I wouldn't be talking, who's the one with the jammed radar?"

"Don't tell me…"

"I can spare a few bombs for you if you don't cooperate, you know."

Poland kicked the side of the wall angrily. This guy wasn't giving him a choice.

I'm sorry, Liet. I'll make it up to you later.

-x-X-x-

"Alfred."

America is sitting in one of the empty rooms of the American Embassy in England.

Arthur is standing not too far from him with a cup of cold tea, a look of utter desolation on his face.

There's a television that has been turned on. The two focus their attention on it for a moment.

"East Germany has officially declared war on Lithuania and Russia. West Germany's sympathies remain unknown."

"…He was mad to have let go of the Baltics like that."

"He didn't want anyone to get hurt from the start."

"So it's self-sacrifice then? Is that what it is? Why in God's name did you withdraw your support?"

"It can't be me who saves Ivan this time."

The two of them are quiet again and England sips his tea.

"… Give me some of your Cognac from the cabinet, will you?" It wasn't exactly a question.

"Like hell I'm wasting good brandy on you."

"It's French."

England waves his hand. "Get it yourself then, lazy git."

America shrugs and does just that. He doesn't bother with taking out a glass as he takes a swig straight from the bottle.

England gives him a disapproving look but doesn't say anything.

Alfred sits back down in his seat, taking the bottle with him. He sets it down on the hardwood table with a sharp clunk.

"He forfeited over half of his potential army," Arthur says.

"Less people to kill. He thinks about others before he thinks about himself—that's why he's in this whole mess to begin with."

"I still don't think you should've withdrawn."

He takes another gulp from the brandy. "Fuck me then."

-x-X-x-

Tell me why it had to end there e-e'

About the confusing chapter last time, Russia was hallucinating. That's why Liet couldn't free him ;C Cause he wasn't real.

Has anyone watched the whole Eurovision thing? I have the guy from Norway's song stuck in my head oTL… (I wish FFnet had some type of journal feature so I wouldn't have to cram all my thoughts in the authors note).

I thought my writer's block was getting better. Now I feel like I'm in the deepest part of it. It's funny how I get awesome ideas for the endings of stories but never for the things in the middle oTL.
Speaking of endings, this story is almost finished. Two or three more chapters are left and it's making me sad when I think about the end. I'm pretty eager to write the "finale" but I mustn't rush x-x'''

That being said, don't you guys think Kaliningrad would make an awesome RusLiet lovechild? xD (It's a piece of Russian land wedged between Poland and Lithuania)

There's more I want to say but I don't want to spam up the word count.