Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Chapter 3 - Living

I'm finding it hard living without Edward.

It feels like I'm missing a piece of myself.

I'm constantly in a bad mood and to make it worse, it's the time of the month…

Dad is avoiding me at all cost, and Renee's finding great joy in the fact that I now have no friends - at all. "You're too ugly to have any friends. Why would anyone want to be your friend anyway?"

Not only do I have no friends, nobody will talk to me, only Renee – but that's to criticize me.

It's been three weeks now; three horrible horrendous weeks. I'm like a walking zombie. I can't function properly without him.

I see him every day at school, but he doesn't see me. He's now the living God of Forks High. Everybody wants to be his friend. He's always surrounded by people, especially giggly girls in low-cut tops and mini skirts with make-up plastered all over their faces.

I thought he said he hates girls who cover their face with make-up all the time?!

It's Saturday. Usually I'd spend Saturdays with Edward, but now I spend Saturdays in front of the TV watching reruns of 'Romeo and Juliet' and 'Pride and Prejudice'. It never does any good though. Every time the word 'love' comes up, I think about him.

It hurts to know that you can't have a fairytale ending like 'Sleeping Beauty' or 'Cinderella' – my all time favourite Disney movies. It hurts to know that you're so ugly that your ex-best friend doesn't even care about you anymore. It hurts even more to know that your ex-best friend has never liked you, while you spent all your life thinking about the future you'll have together.

He probably was only my friend because he felt sorry for me because I look ugly.

OoOoOoOoOo

Monday.

Yay!…not.

The worst day of the week.

I took the bus to school today as my chauffer for the past couple of years has decided he doesn't like me anymore.

I walked down the long corridor towards my locker, with my head facing down and my hair covering my face. As per usual, every time I walk past a group of girls, I'd hear whispers. I knew they were talking about me. I knew they were talking about how Edward doesn't like me because I'm ugly and fat.

It annoys me so much. Can't they be a bit more discreet when they're talking about me behind my back? Apparently not, as they have brains the size of a pin point.

After putting my books away, and grabbing the books I needed from my locker, I headed towards homeroom. I was the first person in the classroom…again. Now that I don't have Edward to hang around with before school, I can be on time for a change.

But I still miss him.

I have never spent more than a week away from him.

We've always been together, and this sudden distance away from him is tearing my heart apart. I don't think I could live another minute without him.

Just then, Edward walked in the classroom. Alone.

My heart fluttered at the sight of him. Maybe he wants to apologise for being a dickhead and that he hates his 'new' friends and that he wants us to be friends again, but more than just friends. He wants us to be an item and...

My hopefully imagination cut off when he quickly glanced at me and took a seat at the opposite end of the room – far away from me.

I took a deep breath and held it in for a minute to stop myself from crying. I knew he didn't like me, but it didn't stop me from wishing. And every time I see him, my heart will break over and over again.

I didn't realise it, but I was staring at him. And when he turned around, our eyes met. His eyes were still the same. A beautiful green colour that would make any girl melt. But his face completely different. It was more harder and fierce looking. It wasn't the face of the Edward I knew.

Just then, the bell rang, telling all students to go to homeroom. A group of girls, there must have been around half a dozen of them, came in at the same time, and went to surround Edward's table.

I felt the tears brimming.

Once upon a time, I used to be Edward's only girl, and now I'm nobody to him. Not even a friend to him any more. I used to have Edward all to myself - all weekends and weekdays. Now I don't have him at all. It feels weird sharing him. Heck, I'm not even sharing him as we don't speak to each other anymore - at all.

The minute the bell rang, signalling the end of homeroom, I ran straight to the bathroom, tears spilling out of my eyes. But of course, being the clumsy, stupid me, I ran into someone.

"Oops! Sorry! I wasn't watching - "I began, but was cut off by the girl going, "No, it wasn't your fault, it was all my fault. I should have been watching where I was going –"

"No, no, no, no, no. It wasn't your fault. Honestly. I shouldn't have been running," I sniffled. The tears were still streaming down my face as I was still hung over Edward. The girl didn't seem to notice though. She was staring at her feet, embarrassed. (I could tell because her forehead was red! And I could see her forehead because she's pretty short!)

"I swear it was my fault. You shouldn't be apolo –"

"Girls," I stern male voice cut her off, "you shouldn't be chatting in the corridors. That's what lunch is for. Now head to class, the bell's going to go in a few seconds."

The girl looked up and our eyes met. We smiled at each other, coming to a mutual understanding that it was no one's fault.

"Could you please point the direction to the history rooms?" the girl asked politely. I wiped my sore eyes, which were now dry. Nobody's been so polite to me in a while!

"Sure. I'll take you. I have history next too."

"Oh awesome! Do you have Mrs. Gray?"

"Yes."

"Yippee! You're going to be in my class!" She said happily. Wow. Is this girl like...permanently happy or what? "I'm Alice by the way." She said, extending a hand to me.

I took it and shook. "I'm Bella."

"Oh! What a pretty name!" Maybe she's on drugs...

"Uh...thank-you...I guess." I don't like people praising me. It feels as if they're saying it just to be nice. I also feel as if I'm unworthy for praises.

"Would it be a problem if I sit with you at lunch? It's my first day and you're the only person that has been nice to me so far..." Was this girl kidding me?! We were only 15 minutes into school! She couldn't have met very many people! I bet she's going to meet more people throughout the day, who will tell not-so-nice things about me and then she'll hate me anyway and won't want to sit next to me.

"Um. Well, I'd love to sit with you at lunch, but –"

"Oh! Yippee!"

"But I kind of sit alone, so lunch will be pretty boring. Maybe you should sit – "

"That's okay. I don't mind. You're nice. And I bet that we're going to become great friends!"

I smiled. This girl is really sweet. "Aw. Thanks. But how do you know if you're not going to meet other people who are better than me?"

"I just know! I have this feeling that most people here are not very friendly."

"Oh, um, okay..." I was speechless. I really had no idea what to say. Alice was kind of...weird. But that's okay, she's really friendly, and I've been friendless for a couple of weeks now, so having someone to talk to was nice. I had no idea how long she'll be friends with me before the popular people start manipulating her mind, but that's okay. It can't hurt as bad as Edward's betrayal did.