ROGUE
CHAPTER ONE: GoodBye
I was always told that I was special, that this thing, this burden that I had been born with was a gift. Apparently I would learn to appreciate it, eventually. Well, eventually hasn't come for eighteen years, so screw eventually. I spent so much of my childhood leading a double life that it plunged me deep within a black hole of inner conflict, struggling to swim to the surface before another dark, unforgiving wave engulfed me. Unable to explore and find myself, I had grown distant from all I was. No longer would I accept the stranger in the mirror; it was time to find out who she was. It was time to end my duplicitous destiny, so I broke out, I ran away.
[---]
The dimly lit halls began to flood with hormone crazed teenagers, chaos and noise bursting in my ears as their diet of Red Bull and fast food gave them a temporary case of ADD. Their sneaker's screeched and yelped like animals in pain as they raced along the vinyl floor. She shut her locker door, pressed her books against her chest and sighed.
"Damn, kids. I'm only a senior and already I feel senile..." she moaned.
I smiled awkwardly as I realised now could be my last chance to tell her I was leaving, that I might not see her again for a long time.
"So, anyway, I was thinking we could catch a movie this Friday? We haven't been out in a while," she suggested.
"Yeah, I don't know about that, Jules, "
"Or we can always just chill at my place? You know, watch movies, talk and eat our weight in junk food. I know the perfect horror—"
"Listen, Jules. I just wanted to warn you, I'm not going to be around much longer," I interrupted.
"Why, you got a 'doctor's appointment'," she joked as we slowly made our way down the hall.
"Not exactly, Jules. I have to, ehm, stay with my Aunt Carol. Yeah, she's really sick and lives alone, and I was volunteered to help. So, I don't know if I'll be around for the rest of the term."
"I thought your Aunts lived here, in San Francisco?"
"She's from my Dad's side of the family."
"I didn't know you had any Aunts on your Dad's side?"
"Yeah, it's a distant relative sort of situation. Listen, I'm really sorry. I'll call you as often as I can."
I held her for a moment, my dear friend of many years, and quickly made my exit from the building.
"Andie, wait! You're leaving now? Talk to me for..." her words slowly faded into the ambience.
I couldn't look back; I was struggling to fight the tears without having to see her lost, confused expression. I hated seeing her upset, especially when I was the one causing the hurt. Never having spent more than a few days apart, I would miss her, but I knew she would be safer without me. This was a journey I had to take alone.
I made my way around the side of the building, passed the parking lot and the football fields. I stood beneath several oak trees, their amber leaves shading me from view. I tightened the straps of my bag around my shoulders and shut my eyes. I focused on my breathing, muting surrounding sounds and distractions, slowing down my heart rate, preparing myself. An emerald flame slowly began to form beneath my feet, smothering them before it engulfed me rapidly and I vanished from school grounds.
[---]
"Whoa, head rush!" I exclaimed as I flashed dizzily into my room in the Halliwell Manor.
I fell, with great exaggeration, onto my bed in order to rest and regain my vision after the nauseating trip. As the room slowly began to steady its self and come into focus, I sat up and stared at my surroundings. My cream walls that were carpeted in posters and picture frames of fond memories, the delicate rays of light that crept into the room through my sheer drapes and the incessantly cold hardwood floors that matched the furniture surrounding me were home comforts I would miss when I left. My attention, as always, was drawn to a particular photograph that stood idly in a pure silver frame upon my bedside table. I picked it up and traced the delicately engraved flowers with my fingers, before I gently stroked the glass sheet before the photograph inside; a precious memory, probably the most precious of all. A mascara polluted teardrop slowly slid down my cheek before it fell onto the glass sheet of the frame, distorting the image beneath. The lonesome tear was soon joined by several black tinted drops as I fell victim to my emotions, unable to prevent the penetrating signs of sadness.
"You really thought you could get away that easily?" asked a voice resonating from behind me.
"Jules, you shouldn't be here."
I knew it was her. She had spent many years perfecting the art of sneaking in and out of the Halliwell Manor on the many occasions I was grounded. I turned around to see the window open, Jules resting on its ledge. Without a sound, she slipped through the window and onto the brown bean bag beside my bed.
"I had a feeling this might have something to do with him," she sighed as she glanced at the photograph in my hands.
I looked down at the photograph once more; a summer's day spent climbing an oak tree by the football field. I was hanging from a thick branch, swinging back and forth as I figured out my next step in trying to climb down. He was gazing at me with those captivating eyes, ready to act on any mishap I may have, ready to catch me if I fell, ready to save me. If only I could have saved him. I threw the photograph back on the bedside table and lay back in my bed before my emotions could surface again.
"Andie, you have got to stop beating yourself up about this. Those demons were super strong; there is nothing you could have done, even if you were right there when it happened."
Her attempts at consolation were unsuccessful. Many times I had run through the events of that day and many times I had come up with hundreds of ways I could have changed the outcome.
"So, where are you really going?" she questioned.
I didn't answer. I simply stared blankly at the ceiling, counting sheep in my head, until she began to drum her fingers along the bedpost and play air-drums on her legs, anything to get my attention. She would irritate me half to death if it meant getting an answer.
"I need to get away," I responded eventually.
"And where exactly will you go, Crazy? Live in a box by a downtown dumpster? You've been like this for over a year now, so distant and empty. Why don't you just talk? It could help. What could you possibly find out there, on your own?"
"Answers," I replied as I swiftly jumped off the bed and grabbed my bag off the floor. I emptied the school supplies within and began to restock it with clean clothes, a first aid kit, magic supplies and magic books from my chest of drawers and the photograph.
"I am not letting you leave, Andie," she insisted as she stood up and snatched the bag from my hands.
"What do you need answers for? What do you want to find?" she continued to grill me on the matter.
"I need to find me!" I screamed, instantly regretting it. She released the bag from her clutches as I placed my hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away, her face cold and unforgiving. My eyes filled with tears as I struggled to explain.
"I don't know who I am anymore, Jules. All my life I had this secret to hide, a secret that I kept from you, from everyone for so many years. For as long as I can remember I was hiding part of me, because it was supposed to help people, my gift was supposed to do good. It tore me apart, and it was all for nothing! Chace died because of me, because I couldn't use my gift to save him. I don't know what I am supposed to do, but I cannot go on living like none of this happened. I need to find myself; I need to find a way to keep going."
"Andie, we have been through this before. Finding answers to Chace's disappearance, his death, is not going to magically unlock your soul or save you from this. You need to find a better way. I can't keep trying to help you if you insist on living in this morbidity, this depression."
"Then let me go!" I roared.
I surrendered to the emotions I had kept locked up in the darkest part of me for so long, I could feel them surging through my limbs, in my blood and my veins, energizing every fibre of my being. My eyes flinched and blinked rapidly as a surge of heat raced to my palms. Emerald sparks began to fly from my hands, forming two spheres of raw power. My mouth hung open in shock, my body began to shake as my emotions unleashed a power I had never used before, a power so strong I couldn't control it any longer. The emerald spheres had engulfed my hands and against my will erupted in a rapid succession of energy balls, catapulting towards Julie. She screamed as she was forced across the room and crashing into my mirror. The spheres quickly evaporated, the destruction they caused, however, did not. Julie lay motionless on my floor. I stood, breathing heavily, in shock, unable to believe what I had just caused. I could hear footsteps storming up the stairs and the room began to spin, blurring my vision, my thoughts, clouding my judgement. Everything was moving so quickly, my pulse rapidly increasing. I was lost, confused, scared, so I ran. Without further hesitation, I grabbed my bag and flashed away from the trauma, away from the pain, away from my life.
[---]
Alright, that is it for Chapter One. I know it was kind of short, but it's just this one don't worry. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Other chapters should be up shortly if school and exams don't get in the way too much. Please leave a review/comment etc. Thanks, dudes!