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Ch.3 Summary: Set during episode 4x20 The Rapture. Heaven isn't always heaven for angels.

Angel Interrupted

Ch. 3 "It's Called Doubt"

Angels received their strength from their faith, wings being but a manifestation of that faith. Angels fell when their doubt outweighed their faith and their wings became too weak to sustain them in heaven. It was simply the divine way of keeping heavens army strong. At least that was what Castiel had always been told.

Falling was not a punishment. Being born anew, into a humans body was a second chance to find faith. Obviously it came with struggles Angels were exempt from, but it also came with glorious possibilities Angels were not afforded. No matter, Castiel did not want to fall.

Castiel sat on the floor of a dark enclosure. Heaven was luxurious and joyful for the humans who made it, but heaven could go either way for an angel. He had no idea how long he had been imprisoned, it seemed like a very, very long time. He hadn't moved since they shoved him into the darkness. He simply sat where he had landed as he had resolved not to show any weakness, any fear. He would sit perfectly still and calm until he was released. He wanted to prove that an angel need only faith to sustain, but he now realized that his faith was damaged and was not quelling the terrifying emotion of panic that was growing stronger by the second.

Castiel had become used to his former vessels appearance and had chosen to keep its form while in Heaven, retaining only the aesthetic properties of a human being. In the old days, most Angels preferred to exist in their natural form, an inner core of pulsating bright blue light surrounded in an even brighter mantel of white light. They were all beautiful back then, uninterested in mimicking the fleshy appearance of humans.

Castiel held his hand to his face and squinted into the darkness trying to see the shape, but it was no use. He couldn't see anything, could only hear his own voice and could barely feel. His human form was so different in sensation then his human vessel. Had he been with Jimmy, he would be able to feel a variety of physical sensations compared to his current form so deprived that every touch was only experienced as varying degrees of pressure.

How long had they kept him in this darkness now? Castiel began to wonder if they planned to leave him be until the war had started and they needed all of the remaining angels to fight.

How long had he been in silence? He had never been so alone. He wondered if Zachariah had deafened him to his brothers and sisters? Or were the other angels just refusing to talk to him?

Why hadn't Zachariah come for him yet? Perhaps the war was over and heaven had lost? A sharp stab of panic welled up within him, and Castiel jumped to his feet though he knew there would be no way to get out on his own.

Was this his punishment? What if Heaven had won the war and Zachariah had decided to keep him imprisoned for eternity?

Though he knew escape was impossible, he began slowly feeling each invisible wall of his enclosure. It seemed there was an infinite number of strange angled walls twisting one way and turning the other, but there were no breaks, no seems of any kind that indicated an opening.

His searching grew more frantic until he began pounding at the walls with open palms, still searching for an opening. A half dozen walls later, Castiels hands passed through the darkness and he fell forward onto his hands and knees. Confused but sensing the presence of other angels, he got to his feet immediately.

Bright, everything was so bright...and white. Stereotypical.

Zachariah appeared beside him and smiled warmly. "Congratulations Castiel, you found your way out of the dark. That is the first right choice you've made recently."

Castiel stared at Zachariah in confusion. "Your saying I could have walked out at any time?"

Before Zachariah could answer, an angel setting at the far end of a huge marble table spoke up. "Castiel, you don't listen well!"

He ignored the other angel and in a voice so low Zachariah strained to hear him he began to say "I was told..."

Zachariah grinned at Castiel and interrupted "Castiel, we told you, you would be released when we felt you were ready to listen, and THAT was completely up to you."

Castiel looked over at the other angel and back at Zachariah. He turned around to look at the black rectangle he had emerged from only seconds earlier, but saw in its place only a small silver coffer with his name inscribed on the side. For a split moment, Castiel was lost in a blanket of terror. They had put him in a nether coffer! There were only a handful of such objects in existence. Once they were sealed, only God could release the angel inside. He looked back at Zachariah unable to keep the shock from his face, but said nothing.

Zachariah nodded and said "Yes, well you ruffled a lot of feathers Castiel. Many were ready to seal it. If it weren't for Deans bad attitude....Well that doesn't matter, it does seem you are willing to listen now, doesn't it?"

Castiel couldn't stop the glare from darkening his features, but said nothing.

Zachariah smiled and patted Castiels shoulder. "Thats good Castiel. You've learned to bite your tongue, but I'm afraid your emotions are showing. No matter, we'll purge those soon enough."

Castiel shrugged Zacharias hand away and took a step back. He was angry and Zachariah wasn't even making sense. He hadn't bit his tongue.

Zacharias eyebrow arched and he said "Well then, lets take a seat. We have much to discuss before your next contact with Dean."

Castiel almost let the smirk he felt show on his face. Dean Winchester had a rather bleak opinion of angels at the moment and barely took Castiels instruction. A new angel would not stand a chance with Dean. That's why they did not seal the coffer, and that is why they would send him back to sent a silent thank you down to Dean.

He set down across from Zachariah, with the other angel to their side at the end of the table. As he waited for the other two angels to begin talking, Castiel studied Charoum. It was immediately obvious that Charoum was using a vessel, as angels in human form radiated a soft luminosity and usually failed to recreate imperfections such as wrinkles and scars.

Castiel wondered why Charoum even took took a vessel, as he had not been to earth in centuries and had no use for one. The vessel he had chosen was particularly disquieting. Obviously an older human, tall and slender, pale skin and silver hair. Small green eyes and thin lips made the abnormally large nose look even more ridiculous, or sinister then it would have on a well proportioned face. Charoum was quite unsettling, and Castiel looked away concerning himself with the the swirls of gray in the thick white marble surface..

Zachariah spoke first. "Castiel."

Castiel looked up at Zachariah.

Zachariah stared at Castiel for a moment, and then began. "I understand you may be disorientated yet. Your eleven months in reclusion was unfortunate. We never considered it would take so long."

Castiel was suprised that was all it had been. He was over two millenniums old according to mans measurement of time. A year should have been easy.

Zachariah reached across the table and towards him. Castiel had to fight the urge to attack the older Angel. He settled for a pointed glare at the offending hands gripping his in mock sympathy. Zachariah acted as if he didn't notice and crooned. "Don't be too hard on yourself Castiel, being cut off from heaven is a trial indeed. We have a need for our brethren like the human does for food and water. Oh and with those emotions, it must have..."

Castiel had enough of Zachariahs patronizing facade and cut him off in mid sentence. "Get to the point."

Zachariah retracted his hands and looked to the other angel, while Castiel let his glare linger on Zachariah longer then he should have.

The angel at the end of the table began to speak matter of factly, "Castiel, do you know who I am?"

Castiel refocused on the other angel. "You are Charoum."

Charoum nodded. "And do you know what my specialty is Castiel?"

Castiel stated flatly "Inspiring silence in humans. Forcing it on angels."

Zachariahs eyes narrowed as he cut in. " Charoum only teaches angels what they should already know."

Castiels voice lowered "You're here...to teach me?"

Charoum said with faint disinterest "You will teach yourself Castiel."

Castiel leaned back and folded his hand together on top of the table.

Charoum nodded and began "The night you were collected, you killed two angels and attempted to get information to your charges that would have prevented paradise on earth. Castiel, do you acknowledge these statements as truth?"

Without hesitation Castiel answered "You use the word "paradise", when what you mean is apocalypse. If what is happening now, was Gods will, I could not prevent it and neither could Dean or Sam."

Charoums voice raised an octave. "I asked, do you deny killing two of your brothers Castiel?"

Castiel ducked his head, not able to meet the others eyes and said "No."

Charoum folded his hands. "Do you deny subversion?"

Castiel asked "Subversion to what?"

Charoum answered "To Gods Will of course."

Castiel jerked his head up, staring straight into the other angels eyes and answered loudly. "YES. Do you acknowledge your subversion to gods will?"

A smile distorted Charoums features. "So much talk about God and his Will Castiel. Tell me, how would you know what the will of God is?"

Castiels eyes narrowed. "Revelations."

Charoum shrugged. "Was written by a human."

Castiel corrected. "A prophet."

Charoum leaned forward and hissed "Who heard the whispers of angels."

Castiel shook his head. "Prophecies are words from God."

Charoum leaned back and with humor. "And was it God or an angel who told you that?"

Castiel stared at the other angel, remembering Kakabel before she fell. She had been his steward as well as a mentor. Castiel heard her voice...no her new voice, Annas voice. "It's called doubt."

Charoum nodded. "Everything you know about God and his will is second hand information at best."

Castiel was becoming increasingly annoyed with the conversation. He opened his mouth to say so, but was cut off by Zachariah. "Castiel, when one learns silence, one also learns to listen."

Castiel pressed his lips together, and waved Zachariah on.

Zachariah continued. "Charoum has been listening since the dawn of creation. You shall be of the lucky few, that hear his secrets!"

Charoums voice became strangely animated as he began talking. "The humans knew him as God. We knew him as father, and they knew us as the sons of God. In the beginning he was among us always. We felt love in his presence and joy in his words."

Castiel began to open his mouth again, but caught himself.

Charoum understood Castiels unasked question. "Thats right Castiel. Angels are created with the ability to feel emotions, our father wouldn't deny us such gifts. It just takes more to illicit ours then objects and words. It makes us stronger. An angel who feels too easily and too strongly becomes impaired by emotions and turns into a liability." Charoum paused for emphasis.

Castiel looked down at the table considering Charoums words. He had been reprimanded for emotional sensitivity not long after receiving Dean as a charge. It had set him apart from the other angels.

Pleased at Castiels reaction, Charoum continued his story. "And then, a powerful Angel grew jealous for our fathers attention. Lucifer was soon joined by others who resented the humans, as well as our father. A great battle ensued. Of course our father won, and Lucifer was banished to the pit of hell taking a third of our army with him. This is when the great war began and Lucifers following began corrupting man. Humanity became ugly and evil, growing further from our fathers original creation. When the corruption was complete, our father cleansed the earth. We all know this, as do the humans. But what few know....."

Charoum drew a great breath and let it out in a slow sigh "...is that is when heaven also changed. Our father no longer walked among us, and only spoke directly to the highest ranking celestials. Soon only Michael received word from our father. Then came the moment of the last word, Michael vanished and heaven grew silent. Like the adoring and obedient dogs we were, we waited for an order. We have yet to hear even a whisper."

Charoum paused, studying Casitels reaction to his story. It was obvious he didn't believe. Charoum stood abruptly and his voice grew louder as he continued. "The second wave of humans once again, chose the side of darkness, unknowingly conjuring evil spirits of every kind and drawing demons to the physical realm. As time continued they poisoned their selves, tainting their very souls so deeply that some changed into monsters. Without a leader to command us, we knew not what to do. We watched from heaven as humanity destroyed itself."

Charoum shook his head and sneered. "Castiel, they were ripping apart everything God had created and increasing Lucifers forces in the process. We organized. We began giving orders and taking action in Gods name. We did what we thought he would have us do, but it was too late."

Charoum began to walk around the room as he continued his story. "Monsters and demons plagued earth and spread like locusts. Listen Castiel, for this is the point you requested!"

Whether he believed him or not, Castiel was so deeply entrenched in the story Charoum was telling that he jerked forward when Charoums voice rang out behind him. "Though we failed to prevent the decay of mankind, we did slow it ...even saved clusters here and there. It was the first time an angel left heaven without Gods order! We sent angels down to earth..."

Sensing Charoum too close behind him, Castiel refused to listen to anymore blasphemy. He began to shake his head and speak in protest, but was abruptly cut off when Charoum grabbed his head and bent it to the side. Infuriated, Castiel tried to stand up, tried to wrench his head out of Charoums grasp, but he couldn't move. It was as if the air had frozen around him.

Charoum dipped his head against the side of Castiels and when his lips were against Castiels ear he finished his story in a soft, hushed tone. "....to whisper into your prophets ears. The gospels gave them hope and the apostles established the rules. And Revelations, well that was ours too. "

Castiel began to feel something sharp and icey push against his mind. He fought it, throwing up mental and spiritual barracades, but it sliced through each one. His vision began to blurr. Formless spread through out his being in violent bursts. The intrusion continued, deeper and deeper. Castiel tried to force it out, to close himself off, anything to stop the ethereal invasion. He knew on some basic level that if it would damage, perhaps destroy him and then he felt it touch the inneffable substance that was the very core of his soul.

Charoum drug his hands through Castiels hair, giving him a slight pet as he silently dissapeared. Castiel still processing the assault, began to panick as he felt Charoums presence fade, leaving him frozen in place. His eyes rolled from side to side, looking for something, anything that could help him, but found Zachariah smiling from across the table.

Zachariah looked at Castiel in mock affection and stated "Charoum does have a flair for drama, doesn't he? Well, there you have it. God is gone, and until recently you have carried out our orders, and our will obediently and without fail."

Zachariah stood up and pushed his chair in. Before he turned to walk away he smiled at Castiels frozen form and said "Oh, and what you just felt, that was a preview of what is to come if you do not cooperate. I'll just leave you to think on that for a while."

If Castiel had been able to talk, he may have begged Zachariah to release him. He may have sworn obediance. He may have said and done anything to prevent another session with Charoum.

Instead Castiel was left alone, thought being his only freedom, and only one word for all his thought...doubt.

...NOTES...

Charoum is supposed to be the angel of silence. He teaches his subject to be silent, to keep secrets and to listen.

*Angels really are named as the sons of God and humans are but children. Warning...Bible Quote! "....when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God [angels] shouted for joy?" (Job 38:4-7)

*Also according to the bible, between the time when Adam and Eve were ordered out of Eden and the second testament God and Lucifer decided on one rule to their war. That one rule was free will for humans to chose their side. Adam and Eve actually chose the side of evil. My interpretation of this is that the more humans chose evil, the stronger Lucifers forces become....hence why in my story the angels begin combating Lucifer indirectly by converting humans back to the side of God.

Ok...thats all the bible lesson I'll go into for now;) And no, I'm not obsessively religious nor do I know the bible inside and out. In fact, I do not subscribe to catholicism at all. But when I started researching angel names, I started learning the story of the Christian bible...and it's pretty darned interesting reading!