Disclaimer: I still don't own One Tree Hill.
A/N: Here it is – the fifth chapter! You might be unimpressed with the direction I'm taking it in but just remember that I loathe Peyton with Lucas. I don't think it'd be possible for me to write them together so never fear. I also decided that I'm going to make this story a rewrite in a sense of the atrociousness of season four. I might use some actual storylines from the show, exclude others and make up some of my own as I go! Hope you all enjoy and thanks for the reviews. 3
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There are moments when you wonder how fragile a heart really is. You wonder how much one heart can take. And of course, you wonder if a heart really can break.
Me? I used to go about my life knowing that my heart was indestructible. I was invincible and fearless when it came to the affairs of my heart. Boys walked in and out of my life but my heart never noticed them. My heart was never in those relationships, after all, so it was impossible to get hurt. And it was impossible, then, for my heart to break.
But Lucas suddenly came into my life and changed everything. He broke the barriers to my heart and he made me care, damn it. He made me fall for him so hard and then he wasn't there to break my fall. Instead, he was off lying and hooking up with my best friend - or at least, the girl who used to be my best friend.
They broke me; the two of them broke my heart. And if you've ever known what a broken heart feels like, you can understand why I was so scared to give Lucas a chance again. You can understand why I never fully trusted Peyton again; especially around Lucas.
But I gave Lucas another chance. I took a risk and put my heart out on a metaphorical chopping block. And I found myself falling for Lucas – my boyfriend – more and more as each month slipped by. And somewhere in my relationship with Lucas, I began to lose the fear that one day he would break my heart worse than he did the first time around. If he did that to me again, I didn't know how I could possibly recover. Because you can't die from a broken heart – you only wish you can.
And so, here I stand in the hallway of the hospital watching Peyton and Lucas sharing a long and lingering hug. My heart is in one of the darkest places I've ever known it to be and then I have to watch this scene in front of me – hell, I could practically hear my heart being ripped apart at the seams that Lucas had painstakingly sewn back together.
As Lucas and Peyton broke out of their hug, I limped as quickly as I could out of their view and into a random hospital room and just stood there against the back of the door, trying to breathe; trying to make sense of all the changes that had just happened in my life over the past half hour. And I hid, because the second last thing I felt like doing was facing the two of them. I couldn't even face myself anymore, let alone him because I knew that I wasn't worthy of Lucas. I never was going to be enough. Not after this.
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Rachel opened her eyes to hear gut-wrenching sobs coming from the side of the room.
"Well I know I'm not in heaven because they'd never let Brooke Davis's skanky ass through the gates"
Brooke looked up in shock. "And your ass wouldn't have fit. At least your old one." She replied bitingly with a ghost of a smile gracing her pale face.
"So, why the tears by my bed, slut? Were you that concerned about me?" Rachel then took in the sling and cast on Brooke's arm, as well as all of the dark bruises that covered Brooke's face and body. "Jesus, Brooke, what happened to you? Did you have that throw down with Peyton?"
Brooke snorted with laughter, "I wish. I kind of totaled my car by accident-"
"Are you okay?"
"Not really but I'm fine."
Rachel remembered the last time she had heard those words come out of Brooke's mouth. It had been during Nathan and Haley's wedding and Rachel had accidentally overheard an argument between Brooke and Peyton.
"So this is how it ends," Peyton said, "A ten year friendship that survived two dead moms, three absentee parents, shoplifting, jail time-" at that, Peyton gave Brooke what looked like a friendly nudge but Brooke's jaw tensed even tighter in response. However, Peyton continued undeterred- "and we can't survive one boy?"
"Not one boy, Peyton. My boy."
"And he still is your boy, I told you that." Rachel could feel her own lip curling up at Peyton's response, mirroring Brooke's own expression. There was something about the tone in which Peyton said that which seemed to imply that he wouldn't be for long if Peyton told him her feelings.
And then Peyton pulled an instant 180 degree change in the conversation- "Do you love him?"
It took all of Rachel's restraint not to emerge from the curtains which she was behind at kick Peyton's scrawny ass for her nerve.
Brooke looked over at Peyton astonished, "You are something else. How dare you be so selfish to ask me that about my boyfriend-"
"-How dare I? Okay you know what Brooke; I didn't want it to be this way, okay? I tried tears, alright, I tried apologizing to you, I cried and you know what – you slapped me and you blew me off."
"Oh so you confess that you apparently love my boyfriend and expect me to take it with a smile and go back to being friends like before? No, you know what Peyton, next time you'll be lucky if I don't use my fist."
"I can't believe you're supposed to be the maid of honor" Peyton said disdainfully, "And by the way, none of those words were 'Yes Peyton, I love him'"
With one last contemptuous look, Peyton walked away leaving Brooke, whose façade was beginning to crumble.
Rachel rushed out and placed her hand tentatively on Brooke's shoulder. "I just heard what that troll said to you. Are you okay?"
"Not really but I'm fine."
Rachel couldn't help but sigh – "Cut the crap Brooke, you're definitely not fine."
"You're right, I'm not. I don't think I'm ever going to be again, Rach and you want to know why? I was late for my period, like really late. And then my best friend confessed that she was in love with my boyfriend and like – expected me to be happy for her or something. And then I found out that Lucas and Peyton kissed a couple of months ago when they were hiding in the library during the shooting at school. Oh, and then while I was driving away from the mess that is my life, I crashed my car and ended up in the damn hospital, Rachel. And then after my doctor tells me that I lost my child, I go to find Lucas so that I can cry into his arms and feel as if maybe everything will be okay, he's instead enjoying a nice, long and oh so romantic hug with Peyton. And now I'm here, spilling my soul to a girl who tried to take me down last year." With those last words, Brooke broke down and began sobbing her heart out while Rachel tried to take in Brooke's entire tirade and comfort her.
"It'll be okay. It'll be okay, Brooke."
That was all she could whisper and the truth is – she didn't know if it would be. She didn't know if anything could possibly be okay in this moment.
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