Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!

Note: Back to both Alex and Bobby.

CHAPTER: 4

You son of a bitch, fucking headstrong bastard.

As Bobby lied on the ground, assuming the worst, Alex was reaching for the door handle of his apartment.

She hadn't left him. She never really would. Like him, she too was bullheaded.

What the…

Alex was shocked when the handle turned. She froze momentarily, surprised his door was unlocked. She frowned because she hadn't thought of trying it sooner and grimaced even further because he didn't take the time to lock it.

Careless, Bobby, you're getting too careless.

Before, she was too busy panicking because she'd forgotten the key for his apartment on her desk at home, but she deeply sighed when she found his door to be unlocked.

And then confusion set in.

Her emotions were boiling; she was pissed, but her anger slowly turned into nervousness. She was ready to fight and yell all of those words she rehearsed in her car on the way over, but now she wasn't sure. She really was confused. She wasn't sure what she'd find and that made her apprehensive.

Where is he? What's he doing?

She knew he was home. She saw his vehicle out front and now to find his door unlocked only confirmed it.

Sigh.

Bobby…

She walked through the threshold and into his apartment; she didn't know what to expect. She closed the door behind her, locked it and then stepped further into his apartment. And that's when she smelled it. Not even a foot into the doorway and she knew.

He's been drinking.

"Bobby?" She called out almost angrily, yet unsure.

And then she saw the remains of the broken bottle on the floor and its contents covering the wall and floor. She carefully picked a few pieces of the broken glass up and set them on the counter. She knew it was from him; more than likely out of anger.

Damn.

Alex was about to grab a wash cloth and clean up the alcohol when she heard a whimper come from not far away. She immediately jerked straight up into a standing position and scanned the room.

"Bobby?" She called again. She started to walk further into his apartment as she called his name once again. She was hoping to get a response, but it never came.

And then she saw him; there was no need for her to hear a response any longer.

Bobby was in between a tremble and a convulsion as he lied on the floor next to his couch. She wasn't sure what he was doing; if it were from the alcohol or not, but she was suddenly very happy that she'd gotten there when she did. She didn't know what his intentions were, how his mental stability was, but as long as she was there with him, she knew nothing would happen to him.

Oh god, Bobby, what the hell are you doing? Why, why, god, does this man have to be so miserable?

"Bobby?" She whispered this time as she walked over to him.

She made a beeline for him and bent down next to him to examine him. His head was turned away from her so she couldn't see his eyes.

She didn't leave? Oh god. But…how the hell did she get in? Oh yeah, I gave her a key. He deduced in his drunken stupor. Oh wait, I think I left the door unlocked…

But he didn't care. He was just happy she was here with him even if he didn't show it. He couldn't. Not yet.

It isn't over yet, is it?

And for the first time, he suddenly prayed that it wasn't.

"E-Eames?" He whispered softly, so softly that it frightened her. It sounded so weak, so hoarse; nothing like the normal Bobby she knew.

He's been crying. And for a while by the sound of his voice.

But there was something else. She felt something else.

His voice.

Even though it sounded weak, oddly enough it calmed her.

"I'm here, Bobby."

And oddly enough, her voice calmed him, too.

He weakly turned his head to look at her. It took almost all the energy he had, but he wanted to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

"Why?" He asked after he had successfully turned his head to look at her. He looked into her eyes in confusion and something else she wasn't quite sure of.

She could smell the alcohol on his breath. She became distressed. She wanted to ask him what the hell he was doing. What the hell his problem was. Why was he on the ground? And then she stood up and briefly turned away to look at the coffee table he was lying next to. She saw the empty bottles stacked high and dry along with his gun, cell phone, and badge and all of a sudden, all those questions didn't matter.

"Bobby, what's wrong?" She asked. It was such an open-ended question. There could be so many ways for him to answer this question. She ignored his question for the time being. It was her turn to get some answers.

When she didn't hear a response, she looked down to meet his eyes once more. He just shook his head and managed to somehow roll his entire body so that he lied on his right side. He was still facing her, but his forehead was resting partially on the ground with his eyes darting towards the ground

"Come on, Bobby. Let's get you off the ground." She said exasperated as she took in his limp form. He looked so weak as she continued to gaze at him. And somehow, she expected him to yell and scream at her to get the fuck out. That it was his apartment and that she had no right. She wouldn't doubt him doing that, he was more than capable of it, but he didn't. He just continued to silently cry. "Please, Bobby, for me?" She murmured. "Or c-can you not get up?" She asked, wondering if that was part of the problem.

"I…I can get up…I just don't…don't want to." He quietly answered her and then whispered, "I don't care."

I just want to lay here…lay here and not feel a thing.

"Ok then…" She said as she continued to survey him. She decided to try another approach. "Then I'll lay down with you."

"But…" He swallowed hard. "Why?" And he almost stopped there. He almost challenged her to answer. Bobby was on the verge of begging her to stay. Almost. But he couldn't, so he added, "Eames, you…you don't have to. Just…go home." And he truly hated himself for saying it. "I c-can take care of myself." He murmured and he immediately felt as though he had just kicked himself in the gut. His one last shot with her, his one last shot for her to be here with him as a friend and he blew it.

Can't hurt anyone, remember? I can't let anyone get too close.

He thought he heard her snort at his last statement but he wasn't sure. He wasn't going to question her on it either because, as always, she was right. He can't take care of himself.

Damn. She kept thinking. I knew it was coming, but it was colder than I had expected… I knew he'd reject me, but it wasn't in the form of yelling; not by any means. It sounded more like…pleading? Like he was begging me to stay? No, no…

She shook her head. She figured she was just reading him wrong.

God, we're so off. I don't know how to help this man. He's going to shut me out…again.

"Bobby…" She started but quickly stopped when she saw the look in his eyes. It was just a quick glimpse of his dark pools but it was enough.

He's doing it for my own good. She deduced. She understood now.

Alex re-examined the man lying on the ground. She wanted to leave him to sulk in his own tears; his own misery. She was close to doing it; so close in fact that she even turned on her heels and took a few steps towards the door. She figured he'd work it out on his own. In that time, however, she swore his sobbing engulf him even further. As if he was crying out to her now.

He wasn't holding back. He felt so vulnerable, but he all of a sudden didn't care.

I can't. And then she finally got it. He does need me. He just won't let anyone close. He won't allow himself to say it…

"Now it's over…" Bobby whispered to himself.

It is. His mind mocked him.

And that's when Alex turned around and really looked at him. She saw the six foot four inch man crumbled to pieces on the ground. The tremors had returned and she watched him as they uncontrollably overtook his body.

What does he mean by, 'now it's over?' She thought as she slowly walked over towards him.

There was no way she could leave him in the state he was in. As softly and quietly as she could, she lied down next to him. She saw him immediately glance up towards her.

She's still here? And…she's going to lie next to me?

He looked at her in awe and she looked back into his eyes. She knew then that he wasn't going to tell her to leave again. Alex scooted up against him. She was so close to him that she could feel the heat radiating off of his body. Their legs and arms touched each other and it sent a quick jolt through her body. She knew she had to ignore that for now.

Let go.

"I'll lay with you, Bobby."

"I…but y-you shouldn't." He mumbled though he wasn't at all convincing this time. He wasn't telling her to leave; he didn't want her to. He was thinking about her career now. The fuzziness was retreating somewhat, but he was still far from sober.

"And why is that?" She asked him. When she didn't get a response, she added, "Give me a reason, Bobby. Just give me one good reason." And when she felt him shake, when she watched him as he broke eye contact with her, she knew he couldn't.

Somehow she managed to suppress a sob and hold it together as she reached up with her right hand to wipe away a few of the tears that were falling from his cheek. She was surprised how steady her hand was. She'd never touched him before, not like that. Bobby shivered immediately following her touch and Alex instantly pulled back at the movement and reaction that coursed through his body.

He's going to reject you. You went too far… You're seeing something that's not there.

"P-Please d-don't…" He stuttered.

"I'm sorry…" She quickly began to apologize.

"Please don't, just, d-don't stop." He finished with his eyes tightly closed.

Oh god.

He was ashamed. He needed to be touched and caressed. He needed to know that someone was still out there in the open water with him; continuously pushing life rings towards him. He never allowed himself to reach out for one until now.

At that moment, Alex felt that she too was close to crying. So close in fact that she had to quickly rub at her own eyes.

God, I never knew it was this bad…

And she couldn't help but wonder if this is how his life had always been.

Had he always been this depressed? Was thing a regular occurrence for him?

"It's ok, Bobby. It'll be ok." She said as she caressed his face. "Just relax. Forget about everything else right now." She said.

She decided to take a chance and swiftly scooted right up against him. This time there was nothing separating the two of them. Their bodies were touching at all parts and she couldn't help but wrap her right arm around his waist to pull him to her even further.

He didn't resist.

Bobby shivered at the contact briefly, but then straightened up slightly to face her, to push himself closer to her, into her. His body was telling him to get off the ground and get into a comfortable bed, but his mind was telling him to stay with Alex for this might be the only time he'd get a chance to be this close to her. Bobby had wanted, for so long now, to be this close to her and his heart begun to heal slightly because of the physical contact she was giving him. It wasn't sexual; it was just enough to let him know that he still had someone.

My angel. My guardian. My Eames.

And not a minute later, it all came pouring out. Drunk or not, it was all from the heart.

"I'm sorry, Alex. I'm so sorry."

"Easy, Bobby. Just rest, ok? You need your sleep. We'll talk in the morning." She said and somehow managed to pull him into her ever more. She was on her left side facing him and Bobby couldn't help but drape his left arm over her. He wanted to pull her closer to him, but he resisted and just let it hang there, dangling over her waist instead.

"We will?" He blinked. In the morning? "You're going to s-stay? I mean, you'll be here in the morning?"

"I promise." She whispered.

She saw the desperation in his eyes.

I won't lie to you, Bobby.

And he saw that in her eyes.

She won't lie, not to me.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want to…" He whispered, though his eyes were telling her a whole other story.

And then he fell asleep in her arms because for once, he finally felt safe enough to sleep.

Alex waited, exactly a minute as she watched his breathing even out and then softly whispered, "I love you, Bobby. I wish I had the courage to tell you. No matter what you do, I'll always love you."

Alex managed to fall asleep a half an hour later with Bobby still curled up in her arms like a baby.

A/N: Sorry this took me a week to update. I've been really busy so I wasn't able to proof-read this as much as I'd like to. All the errors are my own! More to come. Hope you're still enjoying this. Let me know either way…

-Snyder-