8. Past: Bonding


Skyfire's large hands, usually so steady when he was working on an experiment or examining some tiny alien creature, were shaking. It was small, almost unnoticeable, but I noticed because those hands were currently holding me.

"Are you… sure about this?" he asked. It was the same question he asked before I did something particularly daring or reckless or stupid, but this time he wasn't asking out of disapproval. I leaned up to nuzzle his faceplates.

"I'm sure," I answered, and to my surprise I found that my voice was shaking just like his hands were.

"You won't… regret, later?"

"I could never regret this, Sky." I hesitated. What if this… thing we had, this beautiful, amazing 'thing,' was only temporary? What if we were wrong, what if we weren't compatible enough to last? "Are you sure?"

"Nova…"

"You deserve the best, Sky, and I'm not… I'm not the best mech there is."

"This coming from you?"

I managed a half-Sparked smile. "I'm being serious. Are you sure you don't want someone… better? Someone nicer or more patient or more serious? Maybe we're not meant to be together… together together… forever. Maybe we're lying to ourselves. Maybe it's not love. Maybe…"

He kissed me gently to halt my tangential rambling. His hands, steadier now, slipped up to my face.

"I don't know the chemical formula for it," he said. "I don't know its state of matter. I can't recite the coding that makes it happen. I like to be able to pin things down, that's why I'm a scientist. I trust my processor more than my Spark, usually. But I know that this is love, Nova. I know it. Even if it's not permanent, we can make whatever time we have 'forever.' And one more thing." He kissed me again, slower, lingering. "I don't love someone patient or serious or nice. I love you. There's no 'better' mech. There's no one I'd rather spend forever with, however long that forever turns out to be."

My Spark warmed in its casing and for once in my life, I found myself speechless. There was nothing I could say to that. No words could express the emotions swelling in my Spark.

No words were needed.

I laid my hands on the warm metal of Skyfire's chest, just above his cockpit. His arms surrounded me, holding me close in a protective embrace, and the plating beneath my hands split without hesitation, sliding apart to bare his transparent Spark casing. His Spark was gold, like a miniature sun. A little sigh of wonder escaped me— no scientist could fully uncover all of the Spark's mysteries. It was the only part of the Cybertronian body that we didn't fully understand; the mystery intrigued me, excited me. I unlocked my own chestplates, feeling my Spark fluctuating, pulling closer to his.

Skyfire was the first to open his casing, his Spark already reaching out little tendrils of light towards me. In any other situation, with any other mech, I'd have shied away from such a display of trust, such an intimate action, but this was Skyfire, and this was what we were going to do. I opened my casing without delay. Skyfire's optics glowed softly… they were the same color as my Spark, I realized.

"I love you," he whispered. "Nova… bond with me."

I nodded, not trusting my vocalizer to speak. His large hands were warm on my wings as he carefully pulled me closer. I moved the rest of the way on my own, bringing our Sparks into contact. For a moment they brushed, and then, in one dizzying rush, they merged joyfully.

It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Everything that made up who I was was laid bare for Skyfire to see, my very life force open to him, mingling with his. Skyfire was similarly accommodating, and I could feel the essence of him surrounding me, the core principles that made up that being known as Skyfire, and it felt wonderful. He hugged me close as we basked in our combined warmth, our Sparks exchanging information that couldn't be translated for our processors to comprehend, and I knew that even when Skyfire and I separated, part of each Spark would dwell within the other.

"I love you," I finally managed to gasp out. He didn't need to speak; his Spark pulsed his feelings like an open-channel broadcast.

Huge white arms kept the world at bay; I allowed myself to drown in Skyfire.