A/N: Next chapter will be longer, I promise!

9. Choice


Even after Lockdown had delivered Skyfire to Megatron, the bond still nagged at me. It just wasn't fair; I no longer wanted the shuttle in my Spark, interfering with my emotions. Why couldn't he simply be gone? Why was this so difficult?!

"We made out," Lockdown crowed, looking through the accounts. "Megatron paid even more for Skyfire than he would have for the human. And it was a cube of high-grade!" He looked expectantly at me, obviously hoping for some sort of reaction. I managed a smirk, but he saw through it.

"So," he said. His tone put me immediately on guard… it was the tone of Lockdown with an unanswered question. "Who is that bot, really?"

"Skyfire, scientist, Autobot. All things you already knew."

He smiled insidiously. "Riiiight. You've been acting way too weird for that. So what's that shuttle to you, hmm?"

I shifted, uncomfortable. "I knew him, once. On Cybertron. He was… a colleague. Nothing more."

"Uh-huh." He sat back and surveyed me. His optics missed nothing. "You know, Void, you're not the first partner I've had."

"Is that a threat?"

"Nope. Just a tip. I know the signs. I know how to read mechs… wouldn't last a cycle in the business if I didn't. So if this mech was just an old colleague of yours, why've you suddenly got a guilty conscience?"

"I'm not guilty!" I snarled. "I'm a professional bounty hunter, just like you. And I was a Decepticon, remember? I have no conscience! Whoever Skyfire used to be to me, now he's just a mark. I don't feel anything but satisfied that we earned some credits. Understand?"

Lockdown didn't flinch. A maddeningly knowing smirk crept onto his face. "I know the signs," he repeated. "First they get guilty… then I lose me a partner."

"I'm not going to give it all up for him," I asserted emphatically. "Why would I?"

He shrugged. "All right, then."

Why would I? This ship was my sanctuary, this occupation was safety. Anonymity. Energon. A stable existence. Whatever had happened once upon a time between Skyfire and me was done, finished. He was gone from my life. I would no longer think about my bondm— about Skyfire in Megatron's clutches, locked away in a cramped cell, tortured, screaming… no! He was gone! Gone, and I had ensured it as well as if I'd terminated him myself…

Unbidden, the memory of warmth arose in my Spark and just for a moment I remembered the joy that Skyfire had brought into my life.

To Nova's life. That time was long past.

And yet. And yet my Spark still yearned to feel such happiness again. Skyfire was the only one who had ever made me feel that way. My time with him, as tragically short as it was, had been the best of my entire existence.

And I wanted to give all of that up for this cold routine of hunt, destroy, earn credits, refuel, recharge, repeat?

I didn't have to go back to him… this life, as harsh and cruel as it was, suited me. But I couldn't leave him to die.

I made my choice.

"Lockdown," I said, and he glanced up without concern. "Have I ever asked you for anything?"

After a moment's consideration, he shook his head. "Not really, no."

"Well, I need something now. Something you might not like." He just looked at me, suspicion beginning to form in his expression. I cycled an intake before going on, tearing down all of the barriers that I had so carefully constructed around my past, laying my Spark bare.

"I'm going to rescue Skyfire."

Lockdown's reaction wasn't immediate. His optics shutters flickered once. Then comprehension dawned. "All that work we went through and now you want to kidnap him right back?"

I nodded. "I'm going to try it with or without your help, but I'd think after all this time that you could do this for me."

"Primus, Void…" He leaned back, passing an exasperated hand over his optics. Then he sat forward again. "Why?"

This was it. Time to reveal myself as the truly twisted mech I was. "Because he was my friend…" I could leave it at that. Lockdown didn't need to know. "Before I was Void… before I was Starscream. When I was in the Autobot Elite Guard."

That made him stare. "You?! You were an Autobot?! Of all the mechs, I'd never have guessed… Primus, you're more screwed up than anyone thought!"

"Yes, me. I know. Will you help me?"

"What's in it for me?" Typical Lockdown.

"You can't just call it a favor?"

"I'm a professional bounty hunter," he answered, smirking."I never do anything unless it's for a profit. Especially if my partner's gonna run out on me for some huge spacefaring goody-two-shoes and leave me all alone."

"I don't plan on running off with anyone," I answered, beating down the tendril of longing in my Spark. "I'm not even going to tell him who I am. He doesn't need to know why I'm doing it. I just can't leave him there."

Primus knew I couldn't. I was familiar enough with Megatron's tender mercies to inflict them on my bondmate… and this line of thought led to a sudden realization: My past was tangling with itself – my first life crashing into my second, Nova's bondmate suffering under Starscream's hated lord and master, and it seemed that my third life was set on a collision course for both. It was inevitable… I hadn't left it all behind as cleanly as I'd thought. There was only one life – there was no Void, there was no Starscream, there was not even a Nova; all of those mechs were one and the same. There was just… me, whoever that was.

Lockdown cycled a long intake.

"Fine," he said at last, "but only because I want to watch the show. When the slag hits the turbine I'm out, and if I have to drag you by the wings I'm taking you with me, you register? You owe me big for this. One condition: you've gotta tell me your designation. Your real one."

Never in my wildest dreams had I thought that I could feel such affection for a creature like Lockdown. "It's Nova," I said. "But it's been so long that I wouldn't answer if you called."

"All righty, then, Nova, or Starscream, or Void, or whatever… what's the plan?"