Chapter Two: Reason For Being Here
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.
Ulquiorra stared at the sleeping little girl for what it seemed to be hours till her eyelids trembled. She slowly opened her pink eyes. Her gaze remained fixed straight ahead of her till it focused on Ulquiorra's white face.
Lilinette blinked.
"Ulquiorra?" She uttered out with her bubbling voice.
The man just stared at her from his sitting position.
The girl rose up in the bed and took a sitting position.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
His penetrating snake eyes remained directed at her.
"How did I get here?" She babbled out in confusion.
Big, green spheres, locked at her, drilling into the core of her mind…
She blinked again and asked in sincere, childish bewilderment:
"Why are you staring at me?"
Ulquiorra's face resembled the expression of a pagan god, hewn into the rocks by an unknown primal tribe. His lips parted as he spoke in his deep, mysterious voice:
"Your chest."
Lilinette stared at the former Espada for half a second before she directed her eyes at the point referrer to of her physique. Her face turned scarlet when she realized that her shirt, which was far too revealing to begin with, was in shreds, offering a lavish visual access to her small bosom. She shrieked in embarrassment and slapped Ulquiorra, sending him flying to the other end of the room. The girl cowered under the blanket and whined out.
Ulquiorra got out of the crack he had made in the wall. He had no idea how he would explain that to the landlord. He brushed the dust off him and spoke with an indignant voice:
"The reason for being so absorbed by that particular part of your body was not because of your apparent nudity, which I gallantly disregarded, but by the fact that you had retained your Hollow hole."
Lilinette took her head out of the blanket. She took a glance at the hole in her body and then looked straight in Ulquiorra's now-expressionless face.
"The hole's on my midriff, not on my chest, you pervert!" The girl protested stubbornly.
"I made a lexical mistake. Please, overlook the possibility of me being a lecher and answer my question."
"But you—"
"It is unthinkable that I can be a pervert." The man stated with the same confidence one would have when stating that water was wet. He repeated his question:
"Why do you still have your Hollow hole?"
Lilinette frowned.
"What do you mean by that?" She scratched her head pensively. "It has never gone anywhere!"
Ulquiorra started unbuttoned his green uniform. Lilinette freaked out:
"What the hell are you doing!?"
"I am asking you…" The garbage man spoke indifferently while taking off the blazer. "…Because four months ago, I woke up in this world…"
He threw it aside and then pulled his shirt up.
"…Like this."
The blonde's eyes widened in surprise.
Ulquiorra's torso was as skinny as always; there were no excessive fats, but there were no muscles either. The skin was the same pale color like the rest of his body. This was where the ordinary ended. There was no way Lilinette couldn't notice the lack of a gaping hole under his neck, where the collar-bones met. The number indicating his rank had also disappeared. Lilinette couldn't prevent herself from pointing out those obvious facts:
"Your hole and your number are—"
"Gone. Yes." He nodded and lowered his shirt. "Four months had passed since I was killed when I was reborn in this world. As a human. It makes no sense."
He sat on the edge of the bed. Lilinette retracted her feet to make more room for the man to sit on.
"Was there any point for that to happen to me?" Ulquiorra pondered while staring at the wall. "My existence here is completely useless. What is the point of living when you are not serving a master?"
"Humans believe in God." Lilinette added helpfully. "This gives them a reason to live."
The former Espada gave her a sidelong glance.
"Dedicating oneself blindly to serving an entity one has never seen, touched or talked to very rarely rationalizes an individual's existence. In most cases, it has the opposite effect: it brings more despair and helplessness in that person's life. Besides, people don't know how to serve God. They only believe in him and those two actions are radically different from each other. Actually, most people don't even know how to believe in God."
He turned himself towards the girl.
"How did you end up here?"
The Arrancar scowled her eyebrows and recalled memories in her head.
"I don't remember exactly…"
"Simply great." Ulquiorra muttered to himself.
"I do remember that someone hit me on the head..."
"I can see that it has completely shattered your mask." Ulquiorra noted.
"I also remember that I spent a lot of time in unconsciousness." She added with a finger on her lower lip.
"How do you know that you have spent a lot of time in unconsciousness when you have been unconscious when that must have happened?" He asked.
Lilinette stared at him in silence for a few seconds, then she let out a confused sound.
"How do you remember that you have been unconscious? When a person's unconscious, he doesn't remember being unconscious."
The girl took a minute to come up with an answer.
"Because I… don't remember it, I guess."
"But you said it yourself that you don't remember much. How can you be certain that you don't remember because you were unconscious?"
"But I remembered being unconscious!"
"There is no way one can remember being unconscious. Not being able to remember does not necessarily have to be a result of unconsciousness."
"Then why don't I remember?"
"Maybe because you… didn't memorize it."
The girl made a desperate expression and groaned out:
"My head is starting to hurt. Can I continue, please?"
"Please, do." Ulquiorra nodded.
When I came by, I saw that big thing with bright lights coming towards me and then you came out of it."
"It's called a garbage truck." The man explained. "You'll probably be seeing it very often, so remember its name."
Lilinette leaned her head forward, her curiosity kindled.
"What does a garbage truck do?"
"It picks trash up."
"Then what does it do with it?"
"It's a long story and I'm not in the mood for explanations right now."
"Come on, tell me!" Lilinette pouted.
"I'll tell you tomorrow." He concluded and stood up. He put his hands in his pockets like he used to do in his past life and spoke out loud:
"So… you aren't certain what happened to you, except for being hit on the head. That must have happened while you were fighting the Gotei 13."
The blonde nodded.
Ulquiorra rubbed his chin and turned his back at her. He stared at the dying sounds of the town outside the window.
"You've been hit on the head, the strike has broken your mask and sent you unconscious for a long period of time, approximately four months. You must have been floating in an area detached from the battlefield; there is no other explanation as to why you haven't been killed when you were out cold."
For the next minute, neither of the two spoke. Ulquiorra was trying to recreate the event of Lilinette's disappearance, while the girl was making efforts to recollect the memories in her head.
"You must have been displaced to the Garganta. Someone, probably Stark, must have opened the Garganta and sent you there, where you could drift in the void unthreatened by the Shinigami."
"Stark would do something like this. He's always overprotective towards me." The girl agreed.
"You've spend those four months inside the Garganta when the portal somehow opened and sent you flying here." Ulquiorra continued, his hand back on his chin. "However, there is no way a phenomenon like that could happen on its own. A person with knowledge of the Garganta has done this, no doubt. The question here is who did this? Only Arrancar can open this portal, with the exception of Urahara Kisuke."
"Maybe he did it?" Lilinette suggested.
"To what merit?" The Espada refuted her. "He would never willingly allow an Arrancar, one of Aizen's minions, to enter the human world and wreak havoc."
He strolled from one end of the room to the other, while thinking out loud:
"It also doesn't make sense that another Espada opened the Garganta and let you fly out of it here. Wouldn't it have been better if he had pulled you back to Hueco Mundo?"
"Unless someone's pulled a bad joke on me." Lilinette added.
"Stupid." Ulquiorra decided. "What is even more stupid is that I was reborn as a human in this world instead of ceasing to exist completely. It would have been far more pleasing to know that I have reached the end of my being."
Lilinette scowled.
"I've never heard of dead Arrancar reincarnating as humans." She said.
"Neither have I." Ulquiorra answered dully. "However, the situation I'm in proves that it is possible."
He placed his hands in his pockets and moved back to the window. He stood there, lost in his thoughts, then he turned around and said:
"Now, I would like to ask you to leave my bed and my apartment."
Lilinette's mouth hung open in dismay.
"I allowed you to lay here till you recuperated. However, I cannot allow you to stay any longer."
"I got hit in the head and you nearly ran me over and now you're kicking me out!?" She exclaimed in indignation. "Can't you show some more hospitality! We're of the same kin!"
"No, we are not. Not any more. Whatever relations I bore to you and the other Arrancar are now gone. My Arrancar part died when my body was turned to dust four months ago. By some strange whim of fate, I have been given a second opportunity to exist, this time as a mortal human being. The only thing I have left from my previous life are my memories. This, however, doesn't change a thing. I am human. My duties to Aizen ended physically and psychologically with my death as an Arrancar. I owe him nothing anymore."
"So you're just going to keep living like this!? Like a filthy, earth-bound human, helpless to resist the laws of the material world, unable to resist his organic urges?! You are willingly choosing this pointless existence over the opportunity of being immortal and all-powerful?" She exclaimed angrily.
"Yes." Ulquiorra answered. "I don't desire power anymore. It is a long, difficult and tiresome path I am not willing to walk again."
"Cut the bullshit! You're an Espada! You can't turn your back on Aizen just like that!" Lilinette shot out and pointed at him.
Ulquiorra sighed in boredom.
"You are not using the correct tense in this situation. I was. I am not. Accept this reality."
The girl snorted in irritation. She turned her head aside disdainfully and murmured:
"If you're throwing me out, then at least give me something to wear. I can't go outside like that."
Ulquiorra stood up and walked to a wardrobe that was probably older than all the captains of the Gotei 13 combined.
"It is not like your clothes in their current conditions are more revealing than they usually are, but you are right." He said sarcastically. "Besides, humans cannot see you."
"Then why the hell can you see me? You're human, too."
"Apparently, I have preserved some of my reiatsu. This also appears to be a memento of my previous life." He answered and turned around. There was an oversized green t-shirt and baggy trousers in his hands. The man tossed them at Lilinette, who caught them rather discontentedly. She scrutinized the clothes and glanced at Ulquiorra with furrowed eyebrows.
"You want me to wear these? I'd rather walk around the way I am now."
"Do as you wish." Ulquiorra answered impartially. "I hope you find a way back to Hueco Mundo soon. It'd be annoying to see you wandering around town."
Lilinette glared at him gloomily. She shuffled the baggy clothes on and walked to the door. Before opening it, the girl threw Ulquiorra a sidelong glance and grumbled:
"Yeah… I wouldn't want you to feel guilty about it."
The door creaked open and the blonde left the room.
Ulquiorra sighed. He took his clothes off, took a quick shower and got in bed.
He lay there for a few minutes, his head resting on the hard pillow, his body covered in a blanket that seemed to heavy for him. He couldn't sleep. It somehow hurt when he closed his eyelids. Why did his head hurt like that? What was that unbearably heavy feeling inside his chest?
Ulquiorra stood up in his bed and stared at the window against his bed.
"Why can't I sleep? I've never felt like that before."
He placed a palm on his forehead and wiped some sweat that had broken out on his pale skin. He stared back at the window.
For the first time in his existence, he felt cold and lonely.
"What is this feeling…"
He lowered his head and stared in front of him.
"Is this what they call 'guilt'? Is this what 'remorse' feels like?"
The man got off his bed. He walked slowly to the window and started at the darkness outside. Tiny lights were flickering in the distance. They felt hundreds of miles away from him and his small, grey, lifeless apartment he had claimed as his home.
"Is this anguish caused by the unwise quirk of some godlike entity? Could there be a creature outside of this universe that is manipulating my emotions?"
He ran his hand through his hair, then he pressed his temples with both hands.
"Maybe if I go out and find this girl, apologize to her and offer her to stay, this annoying feeling will go away?"
He went over to the wardrobe and took out a shirt.
"But where am I going to search for her? She might be miles away from here. Or she might have already found a way to Hueco Mundo?"
Ulquiorra put on a coat and some shoes. He took a flashlight. The man was well-acquainted with the notoriety of the district he lived in, especially at night, so he didn't hesitate taking a pocket knife, as well. He went to the door and turned the handle. The door opened.
When he walked out, he nearly tripped in something lying on his doorstep.
He looked down and saw Lilinette, curled up in a ball and sleeping right in front of his door. The man sighed.
"Hey." He called and started poking her with his finger.
The girl opened her eyes drowsily and stared at the man towering above her.
"What are you doing there?"
The girl rubbed her eyes and uttered in a husky voice:
"I… didn't find a better place to crash down, so… I went back here…"
"You can come in." The man spoke with an even tone. The girl opened her mouth in surprise, but Ulquiorra interrupted while rolling his eyes:
"Don't ask any questions. Just get inside. It's embarrassing having a homeless girl sleeping on my doorstep."
From the Author: That's it for this chapter. See ya soon!