Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I only own "A Dating Guide for the Mentally Retarded"
Chapter 2: What a woman wants.
Sai was scratching his head. He walked down the busy streets of Konoha aimlessly. He was still trying to figure out when he did wrong in chapter one. Quickly he pulled his book from his pocket and started to read.
Chapter 2: What a woman wants.
Women want love and attention. They love
it when you shower them with gifts.
Woman also like thoughtful things.
Like a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates.
Woman also love sensitive men
who will listen to them.
They love to talk about themselves or
about their life.
They're not interested in you.
Never count on them to be interested in you
Women love romantic things like sunset walks
or dinners by candle light
Never stop doing this until you're married to them.
Then you can be the slob you really are.
Wow that's a lot' was Sai's first thought. 'Well better get started. Now where can I find a woman?'
"Sai!"
'Where does one find woman.'
"Sai!!!"
'Where to find a woman…'
"SAI!"
"Oh?" Sai turned around bewildered; he smiled when he recognized who was calling his name. "Hello Ino-chan." He flashed a fake smile.
"Are you out of it today Sai?" She asked leaning closer to her. It was then that Sai got an idea.
'Ino's a woman right? She also had bonds with Sakura. I should have bonds with her as well.' Referring back too his memory of the second chapter he carefully asked.
"Ino-chan would you like to have dinner with me?" Ino's eye got big and wide when he finished.
"Of course!" She practically screamed while hugging him to death. "I know the perfect place too!" With that she grabbed his wrist and dragged him off.
Things couldn't have worked out better for Sai. Ino had dragged him to the most romantic restaurant in all of Konoha. They got a table for two that had one tall, slender candle.
He was doing everything his book told him so far. He had already decided on the main topic of their conversation. Ino.
"So tell be about your day?"
"Y-you want to know about me day?" She gasped. He nodded. "Then I'll tell you everything!"
Ino went into an incredibly fast narration of her entire day. I do mean ENTIRE day. Second by second narration. She said "like", "Totally" and "frubular" ever five seconds. Sometimes saying "like" twice. She also gave her opinion on EVERYTHING. From her parents to her side job to the fashion wannabe that buys flowers every other day. Ino thought that half the town should be arrested by the fashion police.
"But you should see the shoes Sakura got they were like the bomb. I bought like five frubular pairs for my self live totally."
"You bought five pairs of the same shoe?" Sai had toned Ino until now. Giving a nod or a "Oh yeah" or "I agree"
"Well yeah?" Ino said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "A pair in each color."
"Oh I see…."
"So as I was saying…"
Blah, blah, blah was all Sai heard after that. She even talked when the food arrived. Not that she had any food to eat. All she ordered was a small salad. Nothing else. Although she did go rather heavy on the salad dressing.
"O-M-G I had a blast! Thank you so much for dinner Sai!" Ino giggled as they left the restaurant. Ino made him pay for the bill. Sai learned an important lesson today. Romance equals money.
"I don't understand why you had to make me pay Ino-chan. I'm not loaded you know."
"You're the guy. The guy pays for everything."
"Um…"
"In fact you're taking me shopping tomorrow!" Sai opened his small black wallet. It was completely empty. And he wasn't getting paid until the end of the week.
"I don't have the money." he said simply. Ino's face fell.
"Why don't you!" She suddenly screamed at him. He stepped back.
"I'm just a humble Shinobi!"
"But you're a guy! Guys always pay! I can't believe you were going to make me pay! You're such a jerk! Get out of my sight!" Ino gave him the beeyoch slap of justice and stormed off. Growling at little children as she went.
Sai did the only thing he could do. Look to his book for advice. And as it turned out there was a little bit more to the second chapter.
Of everything mentioned so far
the only thing that a woman wants
more than romance is
a rich guy.
Poor equals no girl.
You need money to keep a date.
Not always though. Many women aren't for that type of thing.
Just the super sexy pretty beeyoch ones.
Sai wished he read that sooner. Ino wasn't super sexy or anything but she sure as heak was a beeyoch. Sai walked home sad and depressed that another attempt at making bonds had failed. He didn't loss hope though. There was always chapter 3.
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH(reveiw)AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(what are you waiting for?)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(reveiw gosh dangit!)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH