Sorry for the long wait folks! But never fear! Due to a (cough) request (cough) from a reviewer a certain kunoichi (coughcoughhinatacoughcough) Ack sorry I've had a sore throat for the past three days. It's been driving me crazy. Well I'm going to shut up right now and let you get on with your life- I mean get on with the story! Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I only own A Dating Guide for the Mentally Retarded.

Chapter 3: What a woman REALLY wants.

Sai walked down the busy streets of Konoha as he read his trust book. A Dating Guide for the Mentally Retarded. He read chapter 3 very carefully. He didn't want to misunderstand anything.

Chapter 3: What a woman REALLY wants

'What could a woman really want?' Sai thought curiously.

We all ready know from chapter three

that woman love money and romance.

But what a woman REALLY wants is a

unanswered question of Life.

I however

Have discovered what

a woman REALLY wants.

A woman wants…

The more he read the more enlightened he became. In fact he was so caught up in the enlighten-ness that he didn't realize that he was strolling right in front of the Hyuuga compound. He also didn't see the purple haired girl calling his name.

"Sai-kun!" The girl called shyly at him. Sai heard her this time and looked up. He found himself staring at pale eye wonder Hinata. The shy girl that acted like a wall flower all the time.

"Oh hello Hinata-san!" Sai chirped happily from behind his fake smile. Little did Hinata know that she was his next "forming bonds" victim-I mean choice.

"H-hello Sai-kun" She twirled her thumbs and stared at the ground.

Now Hinata, under normal circumstances, would have never ever called out to a scary person such as Sai but today she was following the instructions in the self-help book Neji got her for her birthday that year.

Step one was greet someone new, someone you don't normally talk to.

"Hinata-san" Sai started to follow the direction in his book. First he was supposed to grab her around the waist and pull her really close. Then he was to whisper seductive words into her ear. He felt a little odd going through with it but he already has his arms around her waist so he couldn't just stop now.

"S-SAI-KUN!" Hinata screamed in surprise. She was just going to start up a pleasant conversation, Step two, when Sai grabbed her out of the blue. Her face was redder than a tomato.

Now if Sai remembered right then the next thing he was supposed to do was set her down on a bed and…but how could he? He was in the middle of the street in front of the Hyuuga compound.

"P-P-P-Please L-let- g-g-g-go" Hinata just could say a gosh darned thing. She was just too embarrassed. Her self-help book ever said anything about this kind of thing. With a jolt Hinata remembered what her "What to do when pale vampire looking guys grab you around your waist and hold you there" book her father got her for her birthday three years ago.

Step one: YELL RAPE!

"R-RAPE!" She screamed as loud as she could.

Every Hyuuga, including Neji, within a five mile radius came running right towards the very spot, saw Sai and attacked him all at once.

(Later that day)

"Hinata-sama are you alright!" Neji held his dear cousin in his arms. "Did that freak of nature hurt you?"

"N-no…"

"Good."

Meanwhile Sai was currently being chased around Konoha by the entire Hyuuga clan. Sai decided that chapter 3 was a waste of time and that he should move on to chapter 4… as soon as he lose all the ticked off Hyuugas' chasing him.