Chapter 6: When you cross the line.
Sai was checking out of Konoha hospital after spending weeks recovering from his triple female attackers. He was only slightly down hearted but when he remembered his trusty book he knew that everything will be all right.
Once Sai was back outside in the fresh air he pulled out his book, A Dating Guide for the Mentally Retarded (all rights belong to Tally Mai-chan)
Chapter 6: When you cross the line.
While enjoying your relationship with a woman
it is important to remember
that you must always be careful not to insult them.
Woman take insults very seriously
They will turn on you faster than you can say
"Im sorry"
Even if you say those words woman are very well known
for holding on to grudges
Even when they say they forgive you
they will often bring up any past offense
and use it against you
So always remember to keep on the right side of the line
and never put a toe out of line.
As the saying goes:
"Hell hath no fury like a woman angry"
"That doesn't sound fun." Sai said aloud, he knew that he has made many, many, many woman mad at him and all of them seemed to enjoy hurting him. Maybe there was something wrong with him? Was his whole approach to this all wrong?
He wanted to women to form bonds. What was so wrong with that? What if he meet women just to... meet women. Maybe he shouldn't do this for himself but for the girl.
"Yes!" Sai exclaimed, thinking about Naruto. Naruto didn't have bonds with Sasuke to have bonds, his bond with Sasuke was an after affect of their liking for each other!
Trumpets played by angels fell from the sky, the heavenly spectacle sending the air around Sai into a glorious array of light.
Sai was now enlightened in the art of women.
'I must try out this wonderful new discovery!' Sai thought as he wondered to a heavily populated part of Konoha. He was searching the crowd desperately, finally there she was. A woman who Sai could start forming bonds with.
"Hello Kurenai-sensei!" Sai smiled as he approached the genin teacher.
"Sai!" Kureni exclaimed angry. Ever since the "incident" with Hinata the poor girl faints with fright every time she saw a pale looking male and never talked anymore. And as a result Shino became even more angsty and Kiba follows (coughStalkcough) Hinata everywhere whimpering like a lost puppy.
"May I walk with you?" Sai asked politely.
"Yes..." Kurenai said warily, "Yes you can." She was mentally listing off all the nasty genjutsu's she and put on him.
"You look very beautiful today." Sai smiled.
"I suppose." Kurenai watched Sai's every movement from the corner of her eyes. "Up to anything lately?" She asks politely, a plan of revenge for her pupil already formed in her head.
"I have been busy forming bonds." Sai confessed. "It is much harder than I thought it would be." Sai rubbed the back of his head shyly.
Yes Kurenai has heard of Sai's "bond making". Her pupil had to suffer from one such "bonding". Step one in her plan was already finished. Find Sai. Now for step two.
"Are you hungry?" Kurenai smiles at Sai. The boy's eyes widen, as he stares at Kurenai. "It is lunch time after all." She insisted.
"If you say that..." Sai said carefully. "Then how can I deny your generous offer." He gave her his widest, most flat smile as they walked down the road.
Step two in Kurenai's plan was going perfectly. She had successfully dropped Sai's guard. Even now as he ate his dumplings was was completely unaware of his fate.
"These dumplings are really good." Sai said even though he only had half of one.
"Yes they are" Kurenai had to stop herself from smiling evilly. Time for step 3, the last and final step.
But before she secretly killed the pale vampire boy and burn his body to hide evidence, she just wanted to know one thing.
"Why are you so interested in forming 'bonds'?"
"Well, because bonds look like a special thing that normal people have."
"I see..." That was all Kurenai need to know, now for the killing.
The moment Sai's back was turned Kurenai's hands flew through the hand seals need to form her most nastiest genjutsu. The genjutus' was long and difficult but oh so worth it. She just need to finish it before Sai noticed.
"Hey!" A high pitched annoying voice broke her concentration. It was Konahamaru.
"Hello little friend of Naruto." Sai greeted the tween boy.
"Hey vampire dude!" Konahamaru pointed dramatically at Sai. "The name is Konahamaru! I'll be the seventh Hokage someday so don't you get on my bad side!"
"My bad, my bad." Sai laughed.
"What do you want Konahamaru-chan." Kurenai quickly asked in a fake preppy voice. Konahamaru's eye glinted as if he were just waiting for one of them to ask that very question.
"Naruto-nii-san taught me a new jutsu! Wanna see it?"
"Sure!" Sai had a faint idea of the kind of jutsu Naruto taught the young aging boy.
"Super centerfold jutsu!" Konahamaru screamed as there was a puff of smoke and three naked girls appeared from the smoke and hugged each other.
"Good job." Sai clapped his hands together, smiling.
"I know right?" Konohamaru grinned as he changed back. Kurenai who had just completed her genjutsu cast it on Konahamaru in her rage. She was apart of the female rights to no porn movement after all.
"OH MY GOSH!" Konahamaru screamed as the genjutsu set in. The things he saw were too horribly explit and gross to even be written down. Sai was seriously scared and ran out of the restaurant before he was Kurenai's next victim.
Sai decided to find a... less dangerous woman to form a bond with. And he found Ino....
Sai tried to run but Ino caught his arm.
"Hey Sai!" She greeted, rubbing her check on his arm. "What's up?"
"Um..." Sai gave her his flat smile. "Aren't you mad at me?"
"Well.... I was thinking and maybe I was kinda harsh on you."
"Yes you were." Sai agreed though that was the worse thing he could have done.
"Are you calling me a beeyoch?" Ino pulled away from Sai's arm, her face mad. Sai remembered this from his book and started to panic. He reached for his book and started desperately flipping though it. "Hey!" Ino snarled and threw his book down the street where it landed in a pot of water. "Listen when I speak to you!"
"Oh! Um well... you see..." Sai had no idea what to do without his book, the book never said anything about what to do if you lost the book!
"I can't believe you." Ino jabbed her finger into his chest. "First you made me pay for dinner way back then and when I come crawling back to you, you just kick me back down."
"Um... I think we're being a little irrational here..." Sai said, putting his arms in front of him defensively.
"You're calling me irrational? I don't believe you!" Ino slugged him in the face and stormed off screaming.
Sai was literally a kicked puppy with nowhere to go, he had lost his book and he had yet to form bonds. Sai needed help, and soon. He couldn't depend on his book anymore, he needed a teacher. Someone who knew the ways of the book, someone... someone.
Then it hit Sai, no it really hit him. A gust of wind blew a flier into his face. It took one glance at the flier for Sai to know that fate was giving him a sign. He threw the sign down-shame,shame Sai no littering!- and ran down the streets.
On the sign read:
Need help forming that special bond?
Need a teacher?
Well the Great Jiraiya is here to help
Come down to hot springs for a lesson in
Bonds.
Sai knew that nothing could go wrong.
Me: Omg I finished a chapter! Yeah, yah I know it has been a long time since I updated well thats true for A LOT of my stories. My writing mojo has been off for a bit but I think I'm good for a while now.
REVIEW PLEASE!