Author's Note: I know it hasn't been long since I posted the previous chapter, but with school starting I wasn't sure how much opportunities I'd have to write and this chapter has been nagging me for a while. I just quickly would like to address a couple of things. First, I'd like to thank everyone for their continued support, really it means a lot. Second, I think it is important to mention how deeply saddened I am for Stephenie Meyer in regards to the illegal release of Midnight Sun. With that said, after Ms. Meyer posted the first twelve chapters on her site, I read it. Now, despite how terrible I feel about the whole situation, Midnight Sun would have been a really good book, I am happy to know that my understanding of Edward's character is so exact. And lastly, I cannot begin to describe how well the ColdPlay album title fits for this chapter.

And as always reviews are highly appreciated!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight...And I owe ColdPlay for having such perfect album titles! Also, at the end of each chapter I include the lyrics of one of the songs on the selected album!

ENJOY!!

Vampire Daddy

Part Three: A Rush of Blood to the Head

"One more day," Bella said, patting her stomach.

I could hear the pain in Jacob's thoughts. I tried to envision the tomorrow that I was hoping would never come. We had a birth plan. This could work. Most humans created birth plans. I was trying to envision myself holding Bella's hand while she was sedated…

I tried to imagine Carlisle effortlessly removing our baby from the womb. I tried to picture my face in his eyes. Tried to see the elation I knew I would never feel. I wanted to be like the fathers on TV and in movies. I wanted to be like the fathers in Carlisle's thoughts; on the days he came home after delivering a baby.

I wanted to be like those fathers; holding their wives' hands as each woman lay screaming in anguish. I wanted to kiss my wife, my eyes glistening with tears, and push her hair off her sweaty face. I wanted to coo to her and tell her what a wonderful job she had done. I wanted to tell her how beautiful our child was. How much it looked like her. I wanted my wife to ask to hold her child to—

The thoughts got to painful. I wanted all of this. I wanted to be like those fathers, but I never could be. I couldn't even hope for Bella to wake up after this. She would wake up of course. And I would still love her, possibly more. But she would not be the same.

She would be cold, red-eyed, graceful and hard as stone. I was going to miss every part she was losing more than she ever would.

I was going to miss the warmth her blood gave her, especially the way her blood pooled in her cheeks when she blushed; those expressive brown eyes, allowing me my only window into her elusive thoughts; her ability to trip over even the smoothest of surfaces was almost graceful in a very Bella-way; and the softness of her skin, how gentle, careful and calculating I had to be when I touched her. I could only hope the first year of her existence as a vampire went quickly. I didn't want to think about Bella losing her mind—choosing the bloodlust over me. I was going to miss everything. And I was going to be useless.

As a vampire Bella wouldn't need protecting. She would be so much stronger…

"All righty, then. Whoops—oh no!"

"Ha ha beat ya!" Rosalie shouted in her thoughts as her hand reached for the spilling cup of blood. Mine and Jacob's hands were on it nearly as fast.

This moment. This instant of vampire speed and friendly sibling banter was insignificant. We hadn't even managed to save the tasty red liquid from sullying the couch. This moment wouldn't have mattered. Shouldn't have mattered. The blood didn't even smell that good—stale. We weren't loosing our heads. And Esme would have the couch replaced…

But this moment did matter. It mattered the most.

It hurt to watch everything go in slow motion. To see my failure happen before my eyes. It hurt to feel. And for the first time in my century of life, I felt old.

I wanted to shout at Bella. To stop her! Through all the craziness I wanted to know what was she thinking?

My body tensed as Bella bent to catch the cup, which was no longer in danger of falling. Rosalie tensed beside me.

"Oh my God, NO!" her thoughts screamed.

Although Jacob was frozen in place his insides seemed to dissolve. It looked like the smallest of shoves could send Jacob into a lump on the floor. If I hadn't been so terrified I might have found this idea very humorous.

And then…I died…

Ha! If only...

As far as I knew vampires couldn't blackout…but in that moment, I did.

I didn't need to see…I couldn't see. My entire world was simply a noise. One great cleaving noise from the center of Bella's body. And a tiny voice cried, "OW!"

"Oh!" Bella gasped.

And then the world ended…

Though I could not be so lucky to end with it.

Every part of me rang with disappoint. I had never failed anything. And yet here I was watching Bella go completely limp. Watching as her heavy body quickly hurdled toward the wood floor. It was in that moment that I knew all was lost. I had failed. Rosalie caught Bella in the same instant, but there was no playfulness to her thoughts now.

I absentmindedly reached my hands out but I was slowly disintegrating. There weren't pieces of me left to really catch Bella. The only thing left was my failure. I had failed to ever protect Bella. I had failed Bella. I knew it was over…

It was Rosalie's thoughts that brought me back to reality.

"NO! The baby! Oh no! Not the baby! Not the little, innocent, defenseless…"

"Bella?" I had meant it to be a shout. An outrage. A plea. I had meant for her to hear my anguish. To know I was dying too…

She screamed. And I knew she heard me. She heard me because that bloodcurdling shriek was for me. I had done this too her. I had finally scared her. I was a monster…

The things that happened next were straight out of a horror film…

Blood. Blood was life, for human and vampire. Blood was everywhere. My instinct was to drink the blood. But that was a waste. It smelled so fusty. The blood that gushed from Bella's mouth wasn't even her own. At that moment I hated blood…

And then the little devil inside Bella started to kill her. To tear her from the inside. I was going to lose everything!

Rosalie thawed first. I forced myself to focus. To think. And then I remembered exactly how we were going to make it through this. Everything was ready. Except me…

"There's no time! Edward we have to get the baby out, now!" Rosalie spoke so fast, even I had a hard time understanding her.

But I followed suit. Rosalie wanted to save the baby. That was neither a thought in my mind nor a priority. I had to save Bella. I had to protect her. I owed her everything I had become. Up until this point I had been starting to feel settled. To feel proud. I had overcome every obstacle that could have killed Bella. I had overcome myself. I was starting to be able to live with myself, knowing that when I made Bella a vampire I was giving her what she wanted. I didn't deserve her. I never deserved her. But I was also no longer the canker sore on her life. She was my life. She had given me a renewed sense of life. My heart metaphorically beat for her. And even though her scream had answered me—telling me I was a monster—I know her heart beat for me too. And her heart still beat. I could save her! Yes, Bella deserved that much.

"Morphine!" I yelled at Rosalie.

"I KNOW!" Rosalie scathingly shouted at me in my head. "Alice—get Carlisle on the phone!"

I could hear Alice dialing Carlisle as she kept her eyes on the future. I watched idly for a moment as I stabbed Bella with the syringe, but there was nothing discernable within the murky images.

Rosalie was in a complete panic now. I tried not to get sucked into it. I was focused. I would stay focused. I could almost hear my thoughts chanting, Bella's heart beats. Bella's heart beats. Bella's heart beats. It began to sound like the rhythmic thumping of that powerful organ. Thump. Thump. Thump...

"What's happening, Edward?"

"He's suffocating!"

Rosalie's thoughts suddenly became a rush of, "Save the baby!"

"The placenta must have detached!" I explained.

But Rosalie was far from hearing me. She was trying to keep her focus. I hated her focus. Even in a crisis Rosalie was just as self-centered as ever. What did she care if Bella…

"Get him OUT!" Bella screamed. "He can't BREATHE! Do it NOW!"

As Bella screamed again, I tried not to wonder about what she was thinking. What she had seen or sensed should not have been my concern at the moment. But I couldn't help myself…I could never help myself…I was helpless…

I took in a deep, useless breath, and brought back my mantra. My beating heart. And Bella's kept beating.

"The morphine—" I growled at Rosalie again.

"NO! NOW—!" Her stomach expunged more blood. Instantly my hands were holding her, hoping to clear her mouth. Silently willing her to continue to breathe.

I did not see Alice—as she ran into the room, giving Rosalie the earpiece that had Carlisle with all the answers on the other end—I only heard her thoughts which were—ironically—for my knowing, only.

"Edward, no one will be able to tolerate you if she dies. And I'd miss Bella so much…" Her 'voice' quivered for a moment as she deliberated if she should let me know her next thought. Her decision had an instantaneous effect. "Edward, I don't think I could forgive you." I looked at her then as she backed out of the room. Her large gold eyes were wide and burning. She meant it.

I made the drumming in my head thump louder, trying to keep my mind where it should have never left. On Bella. But the thought of losing Bella and Alice was too much.

Without Bella I was heartless and lonely. Without Alice I was alone. Alice was always that blip of illumination in my gloom. I loved her like the little sister I never had. And she looked to me as an older brother. There was immense respect between the two of us. She understood me in a way that no one else could and visa versa. Alice was little and annoying. But she was also passionate and dangerous. I didn't need to see one of her visions to know that if Bella died I would never see Alice again and it wouldn't be because my limbs were being torched.

I tried to focus on what Rosalie was saying but I knew the directions Carlisle was giving her. I wasn't sure why I wasn't acting on them myself. But the warmth—that was quickly fading—in my hands was explanation enough. I didn't want to let Bella go. Holding her seemed to help me keep her with me—keep her heart beating. And when I held her, the sound of her real heart was loud in my ears. It was musical. But it fluttered often. And each time it fluttered the sound grew softer. Like the sound of a decrescendo; booming at first with life and vibrancy and then slowly becoming nothing more than a single, soft note. The melody of her heartbeat was replaced by only one instrument. A soft bass, the most basic of heartbeat sounds was all that even I could hear.

She was beginning to bleed internally. Her blood. Her precious blood was being spilled. Inside her. My instinct was to think how wasteful that was. But I knew better. I tried to contain the venom that was attempting to creep its way into my mouth. Now that would be a waste. I wasn't sure I had enough venom…

Rosalie's hand came up with a scalpel. I knew what was coming. But I would be okay. I could handle this. I had been practicing for this moment since I had met Bella. It had cost me so much to be able to be with Bella the way we'd been together. Everything with her had taken practice. We still had so much more to practice. So much unfinished, unsaid. Did she really know how much I loved her?

I knew there wasn't time to stall and yet I didn't want this to hurt Bella more than it already had. "Let the morphine spread!" I snarled at Rosalie.

"There's not time," Rosalie hissed. "He's dying!"

It bothered me immensely that Rosalie had said 'he's dying!' We never really got along but was she really so selfish? So cruel? Did she really not care as long as she got her precious baby? Did she really think she could go gallivanting around with this baby while my Bella was dead? Did she think that she could raise my child and be a family with Emmett while I tore myself to shreds? Did she really think I would let this child exist if Bella didn't? I internally shuddered. Rosalie just had to have everything!

I wasn't going to let her have it. I wasn't going to give up that easily. This was my family!

The scalpel ripped through Bella's skin effortlessly. And then her blood gushed. I could smell it all over the place like that first day in biology. She was delicious. But I had no appetite. And I simply stopped breathing through my nose. The situation was just easier to handle that way. It was easier to keep my head clear. To keep my head on her beating heart. I was used to not breathing around Bella. It seemed almost natural.

But Rosalie could not help herself. She always wanted everything. It was the first time I noticed Rosalie's black eyes. She was thirsty. Bella was delicious and now brimming with blood..."No, Rose!"

Then I noticed Jacob…had he been standing there the entire time? I hadn't heard any of his thoughts…But I was thankful for his presence…And then instincts of my own kicked in…A more human kind.

I didn't see the scuffle that followed, but I heard Alice come to the door and remove Rosalie all the while pleading to me mentally, "SAVE HER EDWARD! SAVE HER!"

"Alice, get her out of here!" I hoped Alice could hear the warning in my voice for her to get away as well. I didn't want her to loss herself too. Plus it would hinder my mission. "Take her to Jasper and keep her there! Jacob, I need you!"

In spite of everything I was proud of myself. I was officially in control of everything, now! I was proud the way Carlisle was always proud of me. Proud of what I was capable of in a way I thought I never could be. Ha! I was about to be a proud father…though not in the way it's typically considered.

I watched as Bella started turning blue. No more thinking! I admonished myself. I looked at Jacob. My face was set. "CPR?" I demanded.

"Yes!"

I could see Jacob's thoughts now as he recalled the class he'd attended at school. I was confident we could get through this!

"Get her breathing! I've got to get him out before—"

The crack that resonated from Bella's body was so loud in my ears it was almost painful. The force of the noise was like that of large, healthy tree suddenly keeling to the ground and then bursting into flames. Jacob and I froze with shock. I watched as Bella's body became much like the lump I had imagined Jacob's body to be not so long ago…

It had broken her spine. No matter what she would never be the same. This time instead of creating my own heartbeat I listened for hers. It was there. Slight…Even slighter than before. But it was there. There was no going back from this point. Nothing would fix Bella but me!

"Her spine," I chocked, trying to keep the utter terror out of my voice.

Jacob heard it anyway; I could see myself in his thoughts. He had no idea what this meant I now had to do! Jacob's thoughts were a snarl; similar to his real voice at that moment.

"Get it out of her!" he growled. In the next moment the scalpel came whirling at me. "She won't feel anything now!"

I caught the scalpel and watched distractedly as Jacob began CPR. Jacob's thoughts kept me on track. I could hear Bella's faint heart in my ears with no trouble. The sound of the noise doubled when I heard it again through Jacob's thoughts. This healthy sounding heart gave me my resolve.

"Keep it going." Jacob thought fiercely. I took that as a direct order for myself. I cut. Bella's blood spilled everywhere. The crimson liquid begged to me. But I didn't care for it. I wasn't going to be a—a lush! The thought was so funny to me I almost laughed. But the heartbeat brought me back and I prepared to remove the hard vampire-skin womb. At that moment I heard Jacob think, "You promised. Keep your heart beating."

And then I began to rip…with my teeth. It was…unnerving. The skin came apart and I used my hands to create a wider opening. I heard Jacob murmuring to Bella but I could not concentrate on his words. I was about to deliver my child…

Quickly I scooped up the pink thing that was killing Bella. As I held the child in my arms my world changed…

A heartbeat. This baby had a heartbeat too! I started at it. It was warm…So warm…And soft…But not too soft. There was a light brown, lone, limp, wet curl at the top of its head. My hair color. My baby opened its eyes to me, and I was shocked to see Bella's eyes. I felt like I knew this child…after everything I loved this child. I wanted to whisper, Hello, it's nice to see you again. But something entirely different came out instead.

"Renesmee," I heard myself murmur.

I had a daughter. I had a daughter with Bella's beautiful expressive eyes! I was a proud father! My moment of awe ended when I heard Bella's weak voice. I didn't know she was conscious…

"Let me…" she croaked. "Give her to me."

I bumped Jacob with the baby as I passed. It wasn't a monster! It wasn't a murderer! I was a father!

"Renes…mee. So…beautiful."

And then she bit her. Crap! I was an idiot. I had been so swept up in the baby being a real baby I hadn't been thinking. "No, Renesmee," I said. I could tell Jacob didn't understand what I was doing nor did he like it. And I didn't like his thoughts.

And then there was silence. Dead silence. The heartbeat…the heartbeat had stopped! This was twice I was thankful Jacob was around. If I kept this up I would never be able to repay him.

"What are you waiting for?" Jacob asked between pumping Bella's heart and blowing breaths into her lungs. I could hear him counting. Damn how I hated counting. It always meant something…bad…to me at least.

"Take the baby," I said urgently hoping if he did Jacob would understand. He would see. He would know. There was no danger from her. She wasn't a…monster. The same way I wasn't a monster. Oh! I wasn't a monster!

But he didn't take her. He said something that if he'd only looked at her he'd have regretted ever even thinking! "Throw it out the window."

Jacob made me sick. I wanted to take Jacob by the collar and smash my hand into—

"Give her to me," Rosalie chimed from the doorway.

Never once did it cross my mind to consider how Rosalie knew it was a girl. How long had she been standing there? How much had she seen? Why was she so intrusive? Why did the two people I liked least in the world have to be involved with everything?

Rosalie really was no better than Jacob! However Jacob was on my side as we snarled at her.

"I've got it under control," Rosalie promised. "Give me the baby, Edward. I'll take care of her until Bella…" I just nodded. I could tell Rosalie meant it. And she wasn't going to keep the baby. She expected Bella to get through this to care for her own daughter. I forgave Rosalie by handing her Renesmee. Rosalie's obvious glee at this honor emanated from her all the way through the house. Then I went to get my venom.

"Move your hands, Jacob."

"What's that?"

I carelessly broke Jacob's pinkie finger as I shoved his hand out of the way. I was focused on my task, though I did manage to consider how I never thought of Jacob as…delicate...

Without any trepidation I shoved my venom into Bella's heart. There was no going back. Human Bella was dead. But we were going to go forward with this. Bella would continue to exist. "My venom," I answered as I pushed the plunger down.

It worked. Bella's heart jolted into action. I had no time then. I had to get to work. "Keep it moving," I ordered Jacob.

I heard Jacob think of me as a machine and I used that to guide me. There was no time to think about anything. Slowly, as I had always done, I pressed my lips to Bella's skin.

I started on the thin epidermis of her throat. She was still tantalizingly warm there. I knew her smell would linger even when her blood was no longer pumping—even slowly as it did now—through her heart. It was so luscious. So strong. And so much apart of her. Her smell would always linger. And I would always love it. It pleased me to know I would always find her delicious. And with that, ever so gently, I pressed my teeth to her throat. Next I moved to her wrists, the crease at the inside of her arm...

I started where pulses were strong. Where her body temperature was still warm. I started where I hoped I could save her the fastest. I never let her bleed for a second and I never let myself enjoy her blood for a second. I let my mouth flood with venom and would then lick the flowing blood. Instantly the bite would heal, colder than the actual temperature of her body, leaving only the mark of my teeth behind.

And everything was fine…And then Jacob started thinking again.

I hated him…again. He was being worse than cynical. He wasn't even trying. And his thoughts were ruining everything for me! I wish I had thought to throw Jacob out the window when he'd suggested it in regards to Renesmee. I wanted him to leave. He was killing Bella for me! I didn't have the energy to shout at him. I didn't want to waste my time telling him…Bella wasn't dead…She couldn't be dead… If he thought I wasting my time—not that it mattered I had all the time in the world—well then he could leave! I wanted him to get out! To stop thinking. To never think near me again! Finally he considered it. "Go, then," I snapped before he could really cause any harm.

I broke three fingers moving him out of the way, but I wished I broke his whole hand. Or maybe his neck. His ears couldn't hear the fine bass, which was life for Bella. But I could. I knew I could. "She's not dead," I growled. "She's going to be fine." I wasn't talking to Jacob anymore. I was saying it out loud for my benefit. I needed to reaffirm it.

Blissfully Jacob left. I didn't care where he went. I didn't care if I never saw him again. I didn't care…As long as he didn't touch my daughter on the way out. And that was a sure thing...

For one thing, there were too many vampires around. For another, he hadn't even looked at her when she was in the room. He hadn't seen what I'd seen. He hadn't seen her. At least he wouldn't be bothering my family any longer. Bothering me. Maybe he would never come back. He'd never know Bella was fine…a vampire…but fine. Whatever. Jacob had lost. And I would save Bella. Better I did anyway…

I always saved Bella! I was her protector. Her vampire angel…Bella's heart had to keep beating. She had promised. She had promised me and Jacob. She had to keep that promise. She had to see our daughter again…

Slowly her heart began to beat on its own. Nothing strong or solid. But a beat nonetheless. Soon the pain would start, but Carlisle had an idea about how to ease that...there was nothing for me to do until he came home. I had done my job. Bella was safe. She was alive. She had to be alive. And when she woke up she would have everything she wanted. She finally would be a vampire. And she'd be a mother…

The danger was past. I wished I could rest. I felt…drained. Like I had lost nearly as much blood as Bella. But everything was finally going to be okay. Smooth sailing into forever.

I took Bella's hand and sat beside her. My mind was swimming. Alice casually walked by the door and without speaking said, "Thank you! Now be patient!" I tuned Alice out. I already knew what Bella looked as a vampire. I didn't want to see it until it was done. Alice had said—or not said—enough.

Downstairs my ears picked up a tiny heart—one that beat faster than most. And I smiled. We all were going to make it through this! My smile broadened and I thought of Renesmee. She was a real baby…never a monster…I wasn't a monster either. I had saved Renesmee and Bella. I was Renesmee's daddy…I was a protector…

Nobody said it was easy,
oh its such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No-one ever said it would be so hard.