Okay this is my ninth chapter! Yay! This is my first story on fanfiction, please leave a review if you like it thanks! I plan for there to be a few for Chapters then I'm writing a sequel to this. Enjoy! And tell me what you think!

~CarryYourHeartWithMe

James POV

I opened my eyes to the feeling of my stomach tied in a tight knot. What had I done? In one night I had lost my group, no, my best friends, no, my brothers in angst against my ex-girlfriend.

The moment I thought about her my heart felt it had cracked completely in half. How could she have done this to me?! Why?! What had I done to deserve this?! And Snape??!! My archenemy too? She not only broke my heart, but betrayed me.

M alarm clock rang and I hit. Oh no. I'm going to be late for my N.E.W.T.S. Exam! I slide my glasses on and dressed in my robes. It didn't seem like Hogwarts though. Not without my friends. I had to apologize. I mean, so what if I don't have-- her. I was fine before, right? I mean, we only dated for a little bit right? Oh stop thinking about her you baby!!

I climbed through the fat lady and out of the Gryffindor common room. All the way down the halls I found myself thinking about her. That red hair, those brilliant green eyes. Oh shut the bloody hell up James!!! She isn't even worth you! But I knew part of me thought she was was and more.

I walked with my head looking at the floor. I couldn't bare look at anyone right now, not how I was. Suddenly I felt a gush of wind pass me. I looked up to see a boy with shoulder length black, wavy hair and a familiar face.\

"Sirius!" I called after him, but the once visible Sirius disapeared down the hall. As if an instinct, my legs followed him. I knew I couldn't let him go. He was the only one who really knew me.

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I finally found him in the boy's corridor, collapsed on his bed. Out of breath, I sat next to him.

"Sirius," I tried, and I shook him to try to get him to sit up. "What's wrong?" I worried. He only cries when something really terrible happens. He flipped over showing his face, red and puffy.

"What's wrong?" I tried again.

"Why do you want to know?" He spat. I could hear the anger in his voice. I knew what I had to do.

"Look, man I'm sorry. I never should have blamed you for Lily. I was just, so angry. I paused and watched his frown turn into a half-smile.

"And Sirius," I continued. "You aren't like my brother. You are my brother. We have had so many fun times! Remember the time we put a frog in Professor Slughorn's pants?" I laughed at the memory. I felt the knot in my stomach loosen a bit.

"Yeah! I bet its still in there!" He ginned and joined in the laughter. "Oh and we tried to convince Frank Longbottom that his girlfriend Alice was going to dump him. He was on alert for 2 weeks!"

I laughed even harder at that one until Sirius went silent remembering something.

"What?!" I asked as I watched his face fall.

"My cousin, she has been captured by Death Eaters." He started to shake. "She refused to join them, so they just took her. And Tonks, she is forced to work for Bellatrix." He cried. I felt shock waves through my body. Death Eaters, I hate them. This new dark wizard, Voldemort, is becoming a threat. He is killing so many people. He needs to be stopped.

"I'm so sorry Sirius," I tried to comfort. "I know she was your favorite cousin, and Tonks, was your favorite niece."

His face was sunken, I pictured more and more people being killed by Voldemort. Someone needs to stop him. Then the idea hit me.

"I'm joining the Order." I stated. I really was. The thought of more and more people dying everyday. No, he will be defeated. Sirius looked shocked for a moment, then grinned.

"Me too." He agreed. "For my cousins!" I nodded.

"And for everyone who has suffered from Voldemort! I'll convince Remus and Wormtail to join." I assured him. His smile faded towards the end of that sentence.

"What's wrong?" I asked, but before he could answer Remus and Wormtail entered.

"I found Wormtail! He was outside the Great Hall!" Remus told Sirius but stopped talking when he stopped me.

"We made up." explained Sirius, grinning. Remus stared blankly at me. I laughed.

"Come here!" I grinned giving Remus a hug, he looked so relieved.

"Look man, I'm sorry I over reacted. I just--"

"It's okay, I'll forgive you if you forgive me." He interrupted. I didn't mind though, and nodded to let him know.

We both laughed, not that anything was funny, but we were both so happy to have it back to normal. Wormtail looked confused but I ignored it.

"Sirius, I'm really sorry about what happened with your cousin and Tonks." said Remus.

"Don't worry, James and I are going to save him, as soon as school is out we are joining 'The Order of the Phoenix'." Sirius explained. He looked happier then he had in a while.

Remus was shocked. "Are you guys sure? It's really dangerous, you could get hurt."

"But we owe it to all those people. We need to stop Voldemort, before he hurts us anymore." I explained.

"Then I'm joining too." He decided. Wormtail was silent. "Before he hurts someone I love."

I immediately thought of Lily. What if Voldemort hurt her? Wait, what am I saying?! I need to forget her, and I need to pretend I already did.

"I'm over Lily." I tried to convince them. Although I wasn't sure at all if I really was. Remus and Sirius exchanged glances.

"We have to talk to you about Lily." said Remus. I sighed, but nodded for them to go on. If they were trying to prep-talk me, they better forget it. I don't want to hear how there are 'other fish in the sea'.

"Lily didn't kiss Snape, nor did she want to. Snape kissed her and told her he loved her. She doesn't feel the same way and he caught her off guard. Before you came in she was telling him she didn't want to join him. She told him she didn't forgive him. In fact, she has been crying for you all day. She missed you a lot. Give her another chance." explained Remus. So many different things raced through my mind. I couldn't even believe my ears! So she didn't betray me? She didn't kiss me? She still likes me?

"So she still likes me?!" I exclaimed. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Holy Hippagrif! James! Of corse she still likes you!" He pointed out. I saw Sirius wince, and I wasn't sure why, but I didn't bother asking. I felt the knot in my stomach loosen completely, everything seemed great again, then it hit me.

"I need to talk to her!" I raced towards the door when the bell rang indicating to go to our first N.E.W.T.S testing class.

"I'll tell her later," I decided. "Remus, you and I have to head to potions for testing." He nodded as if he was one step ahead of me. I waved good-bye to Wormtail and Sirius who were heading off to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Things felt great again, and they will feel even better later when I talk to Lily. I thought about her kisses the whole way there, excited to be with her, to once more feel the fire works and external flames every time our lips touched.