A Very Hammersley Christmas…

Nav snorted as once again he tried to hang a bauble from her ponytail. She whipped it off quickly. "I swear to god, one more time, one more time and I'll kill you."

His eyes went wide before Nav laughed and he relaxed a little. He held up a small handful of tinsel. "Tinsel ma'am?" She gave him a sour look. His expression fell. "No?" She didn't respond, just aiming the bauble at his head. He ducked and it hit the back of RO's chair. Naturally RO, who everyone was now calling 'The Grinch' in representation of the time of the year, didn't have any Christmas stuff on his desk. No one had even tried.

The bauble shattered and RO glanced down at it with a cold smile. "One down, 349 to go." He muttered.

Nearby the X chuckled. "What's next? Christmas lights on the railings?" The man's eyes lit up and the X turned to him. "Don't even think about it. I believe there are serious safety issues with that."

"But ma'am, they have solar powered ones now. We just tie the solar panel to the railing too. They turn themselves on and off and everything."

"And there goes our strategy of sneaking up on illegal fishermen. Turn out all the lights and wait till it gets dark then – flash, flash – here's the Hammersley." Charge laughed from nearby, raising his hands in flashing motions as he said 'flash flash'.

The man gave them all a sour look. "You have no Christmas spirit." He basically stomped off the bridge. The three watching him go just laughed. RO shook his head.

***

Bomber ignored him as he reached the galley, tinsel draped over his shoulders and carrying a small inflatable Santa with him. Without looking up from chopping carrots she answered his unspoken question. "That is NOT going in here."

He deflated as soon as he walked through the door. "Oh, come on Bomber, it's Christmas."

"And I hate Christmas. Hence why I'm glad that, unlike Sydney-based ships, I don't have to go home for Christmas."

He frowned. "What?"

"Aunts, uncles, cousins I hate. My sister always fighting with mum. It's an on-going battle. My aunt is such a snob. She hates my job, thinks I'm useless. She can talk – she worked in the tax office. Now there's a bunch of useless people!"

He chuckled. "Aunts! My aunt was a nosey old busybody who, every Christmas, had a new tale about the neighbour's horrible rebellious daughter."

Bomber turned on him. "See, THAT is why I hate Christmas. Now, if that Santa stays here I will pop him with a kebab stick and bake him into a pie especially for you."

He held up his hands. "Point taken. I guess he can always go in the dining room or the junior sailor's mess."

"Does the CO know about this?" Bomber asked, turning back to her carrots.

"He gave me permission to decorate."

"Did he give you permission to turn this into 'Santa's Patrol Boat Wonderland'? What's next, you dress up like Santa and invite everyone to sit on your knee and ask for presents?"

"Would you sit on my knee and ask for a present?" He teased.

Bomber rolled her eyes. "Yeah, totally. 'Dear Santa, there's this guy on my ship who's all like totally cool, except he's a sleazebag!'" She turned on him with her knife.

"Point taken." He rushed from the galley quickly, moving on to set Santa up in the junior sailor's mess.

***

The next morning Christmas came and everyone awoke to a strange sensation. Opening their eyes they found candy canes hanging in front of them with a little note pinned to them. Everyone grabbed their candy cane (Nav opening hers and taking a very exaggerated nibble) and went out onto the deck. There a large table had been set up and they were shocked to see it covered in all things great and necessary for the perfect Christmas breakfast. They looked to Bomber but she just shrugged.

"Don't look at me, it was all him." She turned to the man. "That said, stay out of my galley!"

The X laughed. "This is fantastic."

The man behind the table just grinned and opened his arms wide. "A merry Christmas to you all."

They grinned and chorused back a slightly muddled 'Merry Christmas'.

Then the man took it to a new cheesy level. "A Very Merry Hammersley Christmas."

Most of them groaned, but some threw their candy canes at him and he ducked them quickly. As he stood up he grinned again. He gave a shrug as once again a chorus met his ears. "Oh Buffer!"

Buffer just smiled, proud of what he'd achieved. The perfect Hammersley Christmas…