Don't Say 'I Told You So' Sis…

Response to Holly Dixon's 'RO and Sister Challenge'

"Oh come on, you know I can do this." Holly Dixon gave her younger brother a fleeting glance that said thousands of words in its simplest form. 'Sure you can'. Robert read the signs right. "I can!" He protested.

Holly frowned. "I don't really have a choice do I?"

It was 1400 on a Saturday afternoon. Holly was needed in town in less than an hour but with no one to look after her younger sister, Kelly, had been forced to call on the last person she'd ever expected to agree to such a task – her baby brother.

Robert made a face. "You're making it sound like I can't even look after my sister for an hour."

"Robbie, you can't even look after yourself for an hour."

Robert crossed his arms across his chest. It only succeeded in making him look less mature however and Holly cracked a smile. He growled and dropped his arms. "Fine, but you have to be in Cairns for your stupid appointment in an hour and you have no one else to call." Robert continued to do what he did best – state the bleeding obvious. "She's seven, not seven-months, we'll be fine."

Holly eventually gave up. "Fi-ine." She replied, dragging the word out into a deep sigh. "But you break anything, you lose her, you allow her to get hurt, you resort to calling any kind of emergency service, you pawn her off to someone else after 20 minutes, you go to sleep and let her wander off, you let her in the kitchen, you…"

"Alright, I get it, you'll kill me."

Holly gave a mean smile, holding up her index finger. "No, no… I'll say 'I told you so'." She grabbed her bag and made for the door. "Don't call me when you realise I'm right and raising a child is so, so much harder than hanging out on a ship all day."

Robert waved her away. "Alright, yes…" he dropped his voice. "Go away." She slammed the door behind her and Robert turned away, expecting to retire to the couch. But, standing right behind him with a huge grin on her face, was Kelly. He took a step back in surprise.

"Can we play dolls now Robbie?"

Robert sighed. This was going to be a long afternoon.

***

"And you're the sad sister okay? The ugly one who does get to go to the ball."

Robert sat in the middle of Kelly's playroom, a section of lounge room just off the dining room, wearing a long curly blonde wig and a garish shade of red blush Kelly had applied from her kid's make-up set. For the last 30 minutes he had been rather content playing dolls with his kid sister, but Kelly soon got bored and decided instead to play 'Cinderella' a play-game that involved dressing Robert up as the ugly step-sister whilst Kelly played the beautiful dashing Cinderella. Robert had twice insisted he play Prince Charming, but apparently he wasn't in this section of the play. Anyway, Kelly pointed out with a pout, Holly always played that part. Robert growled. Even when she wasn't here his big sister was constantly foiling his plans.

"And action!" Kelly yelled like a film director. She pounced in wearing an old grey dress she clearly kept aside for just this performance. "Oh dear step sister, you look so pretty for the ball."

Robert glanced down at the words Kelly had written down for him. Her writing was messy, but legible. "That's right Cinderella, I am going to the ball and you are not. Ha ha ha."

Kelly pouted. "You're a horrible actor Robbie, you have to do a high voice and a mean laugh like 'mwah ha ha'." She did her very own stereotypical, moustache-twirling laugh.

Robert sighed then put on a high voice. "That's right Cinderella, I am going to the ball and you are not. Mwah ha ha ha ha." He looked up from his lines warily as Kelly grinned.

"THE NEXT DAY." She said loudly in a narrator's voice. She sashayed in again. "The Prince has asked me to marry him ugly step-sister. Finally I am free."

Robert looked back at his lines. "How dare you Cinderella? You are the hand-maiden, I am the beautiful one. Cries." He glanced up at Kelly who glared daggers at him. Heaving a deep sigh, Robert put on a squeal and forced tears from his eyes. Kelly beamed.

"AND THE PRINCE AND CINDERELLA LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THE END!" She bowed to the imaginary audience. Robert clapped half-heartedly. She looked at him. "What do you want to do next Robbie?"

"Sleep." Robert muttered with a groan.

Kelly grinned. "No silly, now we're going to play mum and baby. You get to be the baby." She yanked the wig off his head. "Baby go to sleep." She ordered. Robert lay his head down on the floor. Kelly produced a rug and put it over him. "Night night baby."

Robert sighed, wiping the last of the fake tears from his cheeks. A very, very long afternoon.

***

Eventually Kelly agreed to do something he wanted to do. Have some food. Helping himself to a strong cup of coffee and watching Kelly make herself a cheese sandwich with two pieces of bread and a slice of cheese – but not much else – he sat down across from her as she made sure the cheese was lined up perfectly with the bread. Most people would call it OCD, but it was an oddity that passed through all the Dixons and it was good to see Kelly hadn't missed out. She noticed him watching her and grinned.

"I make my own sandwiches. One day, when I'm old enough to be a real mummy, I'm going to make sandwiches all the time for my baby."

Robert gave her a warm smile. "That's a very long way off yet Kell, you're still a baby yourself."

Kelly pouted. "I'm not a baby. I can count to 50! Can babies count to fifty?" She then proceeded to count to fifty at the top of her lungs. Robert let her go, sipping his coffee as he watched her hold up a finger on her hand every time she hit a new number, then shake out her hand and start again when she reached a multiple of ten. At fifty she dropped her hands to the table. "You knew my mummy?"

Robert nodded slowly at the memory of his father's last girlfriend. "Yeah, I knew her."

"Did she make sandwiches?" Kelly asked, holding up the sandwich just in case RO wasn't sure what a sandwich was.

Robert shrugged. "Sometimes. She had this weird combination of mustard, tomato and pickle." Kelly made a face of disgust. "Yeah, that's what I thought too."

"What about your mummy? Did she make sandwiches?"

Robert smiled softly at the memory of his mother. "Yeah, and she cut the crusts off because she knew I didn't like them."

"Holly says my mummy is in Souf Americas." Kelly frowned. "Wherever that is." She shrugged. "Where's your mummy?"

"My mummy is in heaven. She went there when I was your age. She got sick, very sick."

"I'm sorry Robbie." Kelly reached across the table and touched his hand. "But I can be your mummy. I can make you a cheese sandwich and cut all the crusts off for you."

Robert smiled. "It's okay Kell, but thank you." Kelly fell back in her chair, munching her sandwich happily. Robert just looked back at his coffee with a small smile.

***

Holly arrived home twenty minutes later, holding her jaw and groaning. Robert grinned at the sight of her. "How'd the appointment go sis?"

Holly moaned. "Oh shu' u' 'O'ert." She barely managed through a wad of cotton over her back tooth.

Robert laughed. "More fruit, less caramel popcorn big sister and you won't need to have so many fillings."

She ignored that. "Where' 'Elly?"

"Kelly? Oh, she's in the playroom playing with her dolls. They're having a ball tomorrow night and guess who got invited?" He pointed to himself.

Holly gave him a wary eye. "'Ooo are 'u an' wha' 'ave 'u 'un 'oo my bwavva?" She yanked the cotton from her mouth. "Ugh, I hate this stupid thing." Her face crinkled up in pain. "Seriously though, who are you? My brother hates dolls, being friendly, sunshine, puppies and caramel corn."

Robert just raised his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, are you surprised I managed to look after Kelly for two hours?"

"I'm surprised you managed to go two hours without either boring her to tears or burning down the house – yes. As for whether Kelly is fine, that remains to be seen. Hey Kelly!" She called out to her sister and shot Robert a look. He just smiled as Kelly came running out holding up a doll she'd named Cynthia. "Did you have fun with Robbie this afternoon?"

Kelly beamed. "Yeah! We played dolls, and baby and Cinderella. He really cried too. He's an actor." She gave her brother a big smile then dashed off again.

Holly looked at him as Robert just smiled. "Yes Holly?" She shook her head slowly. "What's that? Hmmm?" He leant forward a little as if straining to hear something she wasn't saying. "Sorry, was that?" He leant back and held up a finger. "No, no… oh… 'I told you so!"

"I really don't like you right now." Holly muttered. Robert just grinned.