Author's Intro/ Disclaimer: Same as always. Characters aren't mine. Long live Jonathan Larson!
I need to stop going to Joanne for help. She really doesn't help. First, she just laughed at me and told me how cute Collins and I were together. Thank you Captain Obvious. She's getting way too much joy out of a relationship she's not even in. Oh well. I asked her what she thought I should do. She thinks I should just make it known to him that I'm willing to go farther and then let him decide whether or not we do. Well, how the hell am I supposed to do that. Nope, I can't do it. I'm too shy. It would be way too weird. Besides the fact that he doesn't know what I'm thinking, Joanne thinks that maybe he's not ready to share something physical like he did with angel. And then it hit. A light bulb went off in both of our heads. The HIV. He doesn't want to hurt me. He's afraid that something might transfer and then I would be sick as well and he doesn't want to bring me down with him. But then again, with all these new medicines and things that have been coming out lately, there is a very good chance that we could both live pretty long lives. He was able to hold out longer than all the others because he was careful and took his AZT and never got sick, and now he might actually live. I do need to talk to him. Tell him I'm not afraid of the disease and that we can battle it together. Oh god, but what if that's not the reason. Ahh, I really hope he does something or says something before I have to.
~ Mark