Author's Intro/ Disclaimer: Same as always. Characters aren't mine. Long live Jonathan Larson!
Okay, I give in!
Finally!! I think it's obvious what happened, but I'm going to tell it like a story. Maybe in the future, Collins and I will come back and read this together and have a grand old time. So, here goes nothing.
Collins and I both woke up at eight to see Joanne off. I made sure to strategically dress in a button down shirt that I rolled the sleeves up on. Once she was gone we made a pot of coffee and poured some cereal. We talked about what we wanted to do that day and decided on the ever-so-specific "I don't know, we could just stay home and be lazy." So with that we changed our topic to something that Collins understood and I didn't.
"I'm having a feeling that you're watching my lips again." That was our code language for 'Mark is bored and confused.'
"Sorry Collins, I just don't care about politics."
"Well then I'm going to go to the store and get some beer."
"We're out of beer? I thought Joanne said we had plenty just last night."
"No, we're out. I shouldn't be long."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"No." He was abrupt about it…weird. "I can manage. See you in a half hour." And just like that he left, leaving me alone in the loft. As soon as he left walked over to the fridge and opened it. I counted. We had at least 15 cans of beer. So now I was really wondering what Collins was up too, but for the life of me I couldn't think of anything. I just blew it off and decided I would pretend like I suspected nothing. I could play his little game. So, with nothing else to do, and still a nervous wreck, and in total anticipation of the rest of the day, I made my bed for the first time in three years. I also straightened up the place a bit, don't worry, no candles; that would have been really creepy. I couldn't think of anything else that I could do in a half hour that would help clean the place up so I brushed my teeth and took a shower. Wouldn't want to be smelly now would I? I hoped Collins would be home soon. I sat on the couch and tried to pretend like I was watching TV although really I was waiting to hear Collins come in the door. Finally I heard it drag open.
"Hey cutie, I'm back."
"Oh, hey there."
"I got some beer, you want one?"
"Uh, yeah, sure. Just one though."
"Not in the mood to get wasted?"
"No, not really."
"Did you clean the place?"
"I just straightened up a bit."
"Oh, what are you watching?" I heard the fridge open and close.
"Nothing, there's not really anything on." He walked over and sat down next to me, handing me a beer. I immediately snuggled up next to him and he put his arm around me. I handed him the clicker and opened up my can of beer. He flipped through a couple of channels and then just turned it off. He opened his own can of beer. "It's 10 o'clock in the morning and we're drinking beer. Roger would be so proud."
"He sure would. You know what they'd all be proud of?"
"What?" I said to him, trying to restrain my heart to a normal beating speed and not the noticeable acceleration it takes whenever I'm nervous or anticipating something. But, I'm assuming by now that he already had me totally figured out. Oh well, I would just keep playing along.
"Us."
"Us?"
"Yeah, you and me, together. They'd be happy to know that we were able to find happiness."
"That's a rather perverse way of looking at it," I said to him, trying to figure out if he was going somewhere with this or not.
"Well, I don't think any of them would want us sitting around moping about them, they'd want us to go on. Even Roger understood that after we knocked it into his head that he couldn't mope forever over April."
"Yeah, I guess. But isn't that what we're doing? Sitting around doing nothing."
"Nah, we're doing much more than that."
"We are?"
"Yeah. We're being together. And doesn't that make you happy?" Shit, this was not going in the right direction.
"Yeah, it does."
"Mark?"
"Yeah?" God this was taking forever.
"I love you." Awww, how cute.
"I love you too, Collins."
"No, like, I really really love you. I love everything about you." Oh my God I couldn't take it. What was he trying to say?!
"Well, that only begins to describe how I feel about you." I've found that I'm getting better at playing along.
"I know that's not true. I know you love me, but l'll admit that lately I've been a real ass." I took my head off his shoulder and looked at him.
"Don't say that. That's done with, we're fine now, I'm fine now." He took my hands.
"I know, but I still feel bad. I was confusing, and indecisive and non-direct, and I hurt you."
"Collins stop it, I don't want you to get upset. You've already apologized, it's fine, really, stop."
"I want to make it up to you, "he said it nice and clear. This was it, but I couldn't jump with glee like a three year old.
"What?" I quickly smeared a look of confusion across my face.
"I'm going to make it up to you."
"Um, okay." Playing dumb is not the easiest thing in the world, I bet he could have read me from a mile away.
"Give me that." He stood up and took my beer from my hand and carried it, with his, over to the kitchen table where he put them down and then began to walk back over to me.
"Hey. I was drinking that."
"Don't worry, there's plenty more in the fridge." I stood up as he came back around the side of the couch. I smiled at him and he smiled back just before his mouth crushed onto mine. The force at which he came at me was so strong I was almost knocked off my feet, but he held onto me, one hand on each side of my face. Our tongues found each other almost immediately. Once I was stable on my feet, I let my hands find their place on his hips. At first I was desperate, my lips and tongue almost as swift as his. Then I remembered our rule for pleasure and forced myself to slow up. When I got the chance to breathe, I spoke.
"What happened to our 'take it slow' method?"
"Oh right, darn." We both laughed. He came back at me, this time much more slowly and reserved. First a soft closed mouth kiss on the lips and then as our mouths opened our tongues met once again. Using force from his lips and body he encouraged me to sit on the couch, my back against the couch back and my legs apart. He put himself down on top of me, each of his knees next to my hips. Never once did our mouths leave each other and all the time moving very slowly. He moved his hands so that they were above my shoulders pushing against the back of the couch, supporting himself. It became my job to hold him against me. My hands moved up his back so that they rested firmly behind his shoulder blades. We sat like this, kissing passionately, until he could feel that ever so familiar hardness in my pants, except this time it wasn't his hand; he was hard against me as well.
Using that as his cue he leaned back a little, our mouths parting for the first time since I had spoken. I was breathing heavily, my chest rising up and down. He seemed more controlled. He smiled at me before placing a soft kiss on my forehead. He leaned back a little once more, supporting himself with his legs instead of his arms. He took one hand and put it under my elbow, lifting my arm until it rested on the back of the couch. He did the same with my other arm, leaving my entire chest exposed to him. One by one he slowly began to undo the buttons on my shirt, starting at the top. I rested my head back on the top of the couch. We didn't kiss. Instead he stared into my eyes the entire time, neither of us smiling just watching each other intently. I remained in the position he had put me, waiting for a cue from him. I was still breathing heavily.
When he finished with the last button, rather seductively might I add, he pushed the flaps back. I took this as my cue to lean forward and bring my arms in just enough so that he could slip the shirt off behind me. He moved it to the side out of the way. I was still wearing a thin white t-shirt that I always wear under my button-downs. Instead of moving my arms back to the top of the couch, I rested my arms on his shoulders, crossing my wrists behind his neck. He put his hands on my waist and pulled me against him. Our lips met, both mouths already open. As we kissed, his hands moved slowly up my sides gathering my shirt around my breast bone. I broke the kiss and lifted my arms above my head so that he could lift my shirt off.
My arms moved back to his shoulders and I rested my bare chest against his still clothed one as our lips met and tongues entwined once again. His hands moved so that his elbows were close against my sides and the palms of his hands were flat against my back. Holding me like this he leaned forward, forcing my back up against the back of the couch, and now he was the one sitting upright, his knees still by my hips. He moved his hands back to the position above my shoulders where he could support himself using the back of the couch. I moved my hands to his sides. He was wearing a dark grey hooded sweatshirt. I moved my hands up his sides the same way he had done to me. He had to lean back a little, break the kiss, and move his arms so that I could get the sweatshirt off of him without having to get up. It was harder because he was taller than me and above me. Luckily, the t-shirt he was wearing underneath stuck to the inside of the sweatshirt and came off with it.
He leaned back against me, my bare torso sandwiched between his bare muscular chest and the back of the couch. His lips met mine but instead of supporting himself against the couch his hands were against my chest and his elbows bent in tight. The interesting thing about me and Collins is that we could have stayed like this, partially naked, making out, and we would have both been perfectly happy. But he also probably knew that had he stopped here I would have murdered him in his sleep and Joanne would have helped. And anyway, he wanted this just as much as I did now.
Our tongues swirled slowly around in each other's mouths, a balance of power with neither one of us dominant, rather a shared lust. After a minute or so Collins broke contact and pulled back a little, then returned with the soft torturous kisses that I had yelled at him for earlier, except this time, I knew they were going somewhere. His lips brushed against mine and then slowly up my jaw line until he was able to suck on the very tip of my earlobe. I moaned and breathed heavily as his lips returned to mine and then moved up the opposite jaw, finding my other ear. Once again his lips found mine, but this time in a hard, closed mouth, kiss.
He slid his legs back a little so that his knees were more in front of my hips instead of next to them. This provided for a better angle as he kissed the base of my neck and then my collar bone. He moved my arms back to the position on top of the couch and I leaned my head back as well, leaving my chest entirely exposed to him. He took his time as he slowly covered my body in kisses, tracing what seemed like every line and contour above my waist with his firm lips. The torture was unbearable yet the feeling was amazing at the same time. There was nothing I could do but sit there, breathing heavily, with faint moans escaping every now and then. The lower he moved, the more I began to feel myself throbbing against the constraints of my blue jeans. I wanted more than anything to reach down and undo my belt, but I knew he would get there eventually.
Collins went as low as he could before reaching the waist of my pants. He moved his head back up and met my lips with his. As we kissed, his fingers slowly undid my belt, then the button on my jeans and then the zipper. Now I was really breathing heavily. He took my hands and said "here, stand up." He climbed off of me and stood up and then helped pull me up. He caught me in his arms and kissed me roughly. I was breathing very heavily and I think he noticed. "You okay?
"Yeah."
"You're sure you want this?""
I nodded. Most of my air was being spent on breathing, not much left to talk.
"Okay."
"Okay." I responded and we shared smiles.
As he kissed me, he pushed my hair out of my face, running one soft thumb along my forehead with his palm resting on my cheek. He moved down my body again, his hands dragging down my sides and his mouth placing short kisses straight down the center of my chest. He lowered himself until he was on his knees. He put his hands on either side of my hips, his thumbs moving over the waist of my jeans so that they were up against my bare skin. He slid my pants to ground, watching my face the entire time, looking for clues. I kicked my shoes off and stepped out of the legs of my pants so that he could move them off to the side with our shirts, leaving me standing in front of him with only my light blue checked boxers constraining me. The boxers immediately followed, using the same technique he had used on my jeans and my erection immediately sprung up. Instead of moving his mouth or hands onto me as I had expected, he stood back up and pulled me into a tight kiss, my bare body as close to his as possible.
Still kissing, he led me back to the couch. This time I sat with my back against the arm of the couch and my legs up on the seat, slightly spread. Collins legs were back beneath him so that his bent knees were right around where mine were, but inside my legs. He leaned forward to place one last soft torturous kiss on my lips before running one finger all the way down my chest and wrapping his large hand around the base of my cock. A quiet gasp slipped from my mouth. Then he put his other hand next to my hip to support himself on, while sliding his legs back so that he was lying stomach down on the couch except for his torso and head. He bent his elbow and slowly lowered himself until his lips closed around my head. Another gasp and more heavy breathing.
Now, keep in mind that I am by no means a virgin. Maureen and I did this plenty of times, but this was sooo different. It was amazing, and he hadn't even started yet. It took every speck of energy in my body to keep from coming right there and totally embarrassing myself. Anyway, back to the story, sorry for that interruption.
Slowly he began moving his head up and down on my cock. He stayed near the top, flicking his tongue just on the tip of my head. Then after a couple seconds of that he began to take me farther into his mouth, using his tongue to lick along the length of my shaft. The longer I tried to last the louder my gasps for air and moans became. Finally he started moving faster at a steady rhythm, moving both his hand and his lips until I came in his mouth. He swallowed and then dragged his still partially clothed body along mine and kissing me slowly but passionately on the lips, our tongues swirling around each other. I could taste myself on his tongue and lips.
He leaned back a little, looked me in the eyes and we both smiled. I was finally beginning to calm down and slow my breathing.
"You getting enough oxygen?" We laughed.
"Yeah."
"Okay." He leaned back in and kissed me, but not for long. "You know, we can't do much more with my pants still on."
"No, I didn't know. Wonder what we're going to do about that?"
"Since when did you become so sarcastic and innocent at the same time?"
"I don't know, maybe it transfers."
"Well that still doesn't help our situation."
"No, it doesn't"
"Well, what do you suggest?"
"Me, you know I have no idea what the hell I'm doing."
"Okay, then."
"So?"
"I have an idea."
"Okay."
"Okay. Stay right where you are."
"Alright…" Collins climbed off of me and walked over so that he was standing next to the couch, near my head. You wanna help me with this?" He said, pointing to his belt.
"Sure." I fiddled with his belt buckle until it came undone. I slipped his pants off him like he had done with me. He was erect. I swung my legs off the couch so I was now sitting normally, better positioned to take him in my mouth but he stepped away.
"Not now, later." Okay, I was really confused.
"Okay." I said hesitantly and moved back to my original position. He squatted down and grabbed something out of the back pocket of his pants before climbing back on top of me just like we had before. He leaned and kissed me softly on the lips before sitting back up. He opened the thing he got from his pocket, it was a condom.
"By the way," he said. "We had plenty of beer this morning."
"I know, I was wondering why you went out." He laughed. He unrolled the condom onto me.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa Collins. Shouldn't that be going on you. I have no idea, what I'm doing. I don't want to hurt you, I don't know what to – "
"Mark, chill out. It's okay. I'll still be in control."
"But – what? – oh."
"You're too cute." He leaned in and kissed me but I was still a little tense. "Relax, it's okay. Take some deep breaths." I listened, breathing deeply until my heart slowed down a bit.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah."
"Alright." He smiled and then leaned in and kissed me on the forehead.
I was still sitting on the couch in the position from earlier, my back against the arm and my legs up on the seat. Collins crawled over my legs until his knees were all the way up by the side of my hips. His lips met mine, kissing me hard. One of his hands was on my side, the other wrapped around my cock. He slowly slid himself down onto me, just a little bit. I could feel the muscles in his butt relaxing to make way for the penetration. He only went about a ½ inch down before pulling himself back up and then going down again, this time farther. He continued this process taking me in a little farther each time until when he slid down he took me entirely in. Never once did he break the kiss, me just laying there, him doing all the work. Once he was on he took his hand from the base of my cock and moved it to my waste so that he was holding me on both sides. As he found a steady rhythm he broke the kiss and started kissing along my jaw line. My mouth remained open, breathing heavily. I was in total ecstasy. Soon enough his breathing fell in sync with mine as he sped up the rhythm. He stopped kissing and was just staring at me, his mouth in a pattern of gritted teeth and then opened wide for a gasp of air. I couldn't hold on much longer. Even though I had no idea was I was doing, I reached under him and wrapped my hand around his erect cock. He had not been expecting me to do anything and gasped when he felt contact. I moved my hand steadily up and down his cock trying to match the rhythm of our thrusting. I used the same technique I would have if masturbating myself, keeping a firm but not too tight grip and occasionally allowing for my thumb to brush over the very tip. I exploded into the condom but continued pumping my hand as he slid himself off of my cock. Just seconds later he ejaculated onto my bare chest. I didn't mind, but I didn't really know what to do, I couldn't move without spilling semen on the couch. He looked at me, smiled, then crouched down and began licking his own semen off of me. The touch of his tongue moving in long lines up my chest was torturous and I thought I might actually come again. But, seeing as he wasn't expecting that nor was he prepared, I fought to hold it back. When he finished he swallowed.
He climbed off the couch and then reached down to roll the condom off of my still-erect cock. He was still erect too. He walked over to the kitchen area and threw away the condom and then washed his hands. He came back with our beers that he had put on the kitchen table earlier.
"To us," he said as he handed me mine.
"To us." I responded, smiling.
"Come on, let's go take a cold shower," he said, extending his hand, which I took to help lift myself off the couch. I followed him to the shower. It was the best night ever.
~ Mark
* Much love goes out to Matt, the best consultant on gay sex…ever. That line at the end there is all for you!