Rebellion

Chapter 5: Laughter of Tears

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Memories are painful, but they teach a lesson.

Now to make up my own history of Vanadeil for the sake of insanity…

Sake in both pronunciations, of course.

Note: The last part of this was completed a long time after the first and middle section, but that is probably noticeable.

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Vendisioh coughed loudly to get an undivided attention. "You are all probably wondering why I named the opposing team Weiß instead of something like black or something else…" Vendisioh explained, "I said Weiß because it is the Deutsch word for white, you see, Deutsch was the original language of the Hume, though most of the International language was influence by Deutsch, but it was also heavily altered thanks to the Galka language of L337." He then rubbed his chin in thought and said, "You see, without the Galka, or rather, without the Galka proving they were equal to the Hume, most of International would be Deutsch words, such as Weiß. In actuality it was nothing more than a metaphor!"

"No one cares Vendisioh!" Baji yelled out, "Now shut up and turn off your moronic time freeze and get Dervask off of us!"

"There is no spoon…" Dervask mumbled, still sleeping.

"Number one…" Vendisioh began stating, "I already put time back into its normal rhythm. Number two; I am way too lazy to even try to do that. And number three; why do that when your father could easily do it for me?"

Soltreb then looked at the pile that was his children and sighed, "You really need to learn not to put them into a pile like that, Vendisioh…" Soltreb then crouched down slightly and poke Dervask just below his bottom left rib. Dervask instantly rolled over and continued to sleep. Soltreb then smirked and said, "I believe that's twenty points for me."

"FREEDOM!!!" Baji yelled when she had been relinquished, "Sweet Altana, yes!"

After everyone had gotten to their feet, except Dervask who was still asleep, Habaki let out a loud yawn and stated, "You know, freedom goes best with a side of sleep…"

Soltreb blinked as the comment was said, mumbling, "Strange, I could have sworn freedom went best with alcohol and cookies…" He then thought for a moment and mumbled, "Wait a second, if they are asleep then that mean I might have a chance to…" He then looked around and said, "Well if you're all that tired, then I guess you can sleep for now and go hunt later today or maybe even tomorrow…"

Dervask then yelled out in his sleepy stupor, "WooT! Sleep!" He then yawned and went back to sleep on the floor.

The yawn seemed contagious. First Habaki, then Nausi, then Baji, and finally Kagi yawned loudly. Habaki then smirked and said, "You may have the upper hand now, but you shall never get me to sleep so easily…"

"If you go to sleep now I will bake you cookies tomorrow." Soltreb said with a grin, "But you have to get Dervask back into his bed…"

Habaki looked around to everyone and then finally said, "You win this day old man, but you have not won the … ummm … cookies?" She then thought for a moment and then yelled out, "They better be damn good cookies!" Habaki then grabbed one of Dervask's legs and began to drag him away.

A sleepy "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" could be heard from Dervask, that is, until they got to the stairs in which it was replaced with, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,ow!"

The rest of them slowly followed, continuing to keep the yawn alive by passing it back and forth.

Soltreb looked back and forth, making sure that no one was around. He then grinned mischievously and slowly slinked out of the room.

Inside the next room:

Vendisioh, who had left the previous room several minutes before, coughed and stated, "In lack of better words, all your children are messed up, Nausi has huge self esteem issues, Baji is a funny talking psychopath, Dervask is a controlled narcoleptic, Habaki has some form of split personalities, and Kagi apparently wishes to be some kind of shield for everyone." Vendisioh then coughed and continued, "All and all, your entire family is fucked up in the head, I blame this on Soltreb, and I think you should too…"

Daida sighed and said, "Is there anything you can't blame on someone else?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"The alcohol and cookie incident?"

"That was completely Morvagor's fault for suggesting it, how was I suppose to know Soltreb was such a light weight?"

"You drugged his drink so you could win the drinking contest…"

"He worked in a bar! How was I supposed to know he couldn't take it?"

"Because at the beginning of the entire thing he said he never drank alcohol before…"

"That was a ploy, I knew he could have even beat Morvagor if he wanted, he was just waiting for the right moment, I had to take him out!"

"What in the name of Altana are you talking about!? Morvagor is a Galka who owned the bar Soltreb worked in!"

"Exactly, it would be the last thing you'd expect, but I am too good for that, I knew he was hiding his true power, like the thief he is!"

"But he's a bard."

"Oh… well… … My bad?"

"Just leave now before I stab you."

"Fine." Vendisioh then spread his wings and took flight. He stopped himself midair after leaving and said out loud, "Wait a second, what does that have to do with my blaming things on other people?"

With a loud sigh, Daida sat down and looked up to the ceiling, thinking to herself, 'What if I never did return Soltreb's flute to him? What if we never returned to Windurst?' She then looked to the floor and mumbled, "If anyone here finds out he has a class we could be in so much…" Daida was quickly cut off as Soltreb tackle hugged her to the ground.

"I don't even want to know what you're doing, so just get off of me…" Daida complained.

"No one is going to find out, and even if they do, no one will be able to do anything about it, after all, I am the brother of my sister…" Soltreb said softly into her ear trying to calm her of her previous concern.

"That has to be the vaguest sentence I have ever heard you say since the first thing you said to me…"

"I am somebody?" Soltreb questioned, "Are you sure I didn't say something vaguer? I'm pretty sure I once said that I was something, that is a little vaguer, isn't it?"

"Did you say it when I was around?"

"No, not really…"

"Then how would I know about it?"

"Magic?"

"Do I look like a mage to you?"

"Well if you turn your head a little and squint really hard, yes…"

Daida almost chuckled, but was cut off by to Soltreb caressing her ears.

"S…stop!" Daida stuttered, "W…What if the children…"

"They're asleep…" Soltreb reassured, "Don't worry…"

Somewhere in a bar in Bastok:

A small twelve-year-old, half-Elvaan half-Hume looked around and his right ear twitched as he yelled out, "I sense perversion!"

A Galka behind the bar looked at the kid, and then looked to an Elvaan, whom he was previously talking to, and said, "What in the name of all things good have you done to your son, Valminic?"

The Elvaan smiled and said, "Well, Morvagor, I have taught him the most important thing in life, how to be perverse!"

Morvagor looked to the child, then back to Valminic. Morvagor then picked up a beer mug and proceeded to chuck it at the child's head. The child fell to the ground, his eyes wide from the shocking blow to the head. After the loud thump vibrated through the floor the child did not move, but a somewhat tall, female Hume walked into the room from a back room. "Okay, Morvagor, I'm done with checking the stock, everything is…" She said looking from a list, only to look towards the child and asked, "Why is Tricay on the floor?"

"Because Morvagor threw a mug at him!" Valminic answered.

"I was only trying to save him from Valminic's teachings!" Morvagor said in his defense.

The woman blinked only once before she pulled out a knife, jumped at Morvagor, and held the knife point blank to his throat while mumbling, "You dare touch my son again and I'll kill you!" Without a moment's hesitation she jumped over the counter towards Tricay. She then knelt down and supported his head up while saying, "Are you okay, honey?"
The child blinked like as if he had just regained consciousness and stated happily, "I had a vision! I saw all the Yagudo, they were doing naughty, sexual things!"

Morvagor blinked at the boy strangely and then said, "That's impossible, the Yagudo breeding season has been over with for a month and the only time they breed outside of that is when they're going to war!" Everyone's face turned grim, except Morvagor who had yet to grasp the obvious. "What!?" Morvagor said, looking at everyone strangely, "All I said was when Yagudo breed like that they're going to w…5H17!"

Somewhere inside Dervask's dream:

Dervask laid and stood, amazingly at the same time, on the floor of the dreamscape. A large circular shaped figure then appeared and yelled out, "Bright yellow justice is for me, the Waffle King, for I am Lord of Gelatin!"

Dervask blinked in confusion and said, "How can you be both the Lord of Gelatin and king of Waffles?"

The giant gelatin waffle then grinned and said plainly, "Because I have the power of smeg-a-mix…"

"Smeg … a … mix?"

"It is the jelly filling of a crouton, but without the power of monkey fandango…"

"Do you mean super crouton? But that is only a legend!"

"Legends are to be flogged by the power of my magic pants…"

"But using the magical pink pants could destroy the world!"

"I need back up, I'm going delicatessen!"

"Fool! Only true masters can go delicatessen!"

"I am fool to none!" The giant gelatin waffle then yelled out, "Go Meat Magic!" And in that instant he turned into a giant gelatin waffle salami. Dervask's amazement did not last long, for a large light then appeared around the gelatin waffle salami. The light seemed to possess the being's words as he said, "N0085 R 0N 73H W4Y 2 PWN J00, 8U7 J00 MU57 PWN D3M W17 L337 H4XORZ5 4 6R347 JU57IC3…"

"Is this a part of going delicatessen? Because how am I suppose to give you back up if I can't understand you!"

"73H L4663R5 C4N7 C 73H 71M35 CH4N63D, 7H3Y N33D 2 637 0FF 73H 56k…"

"What the hell are you talking about!?" Dervask yelled at the top of his lungs, "You make no sense, and what the hell is fifty-six kay!?"

"D0N7 9ULL 0FF 50M3 L3R0Y J1NK1N5 5H17!" The gelatin waffle salami said as he began to disappear into golden rings, the same ones that were used by Vendisioh. In an instant the world began to rumble violently, forcing Dervask back into the real world.

Back in the real world:

The ground shook violently, the floor shattered and a cloud of dirt and wood blinded all. Screams were heard, muffled by the rubble that surrounded the children. Though Dervask did not realize it at the time, the loudest of the screams were his own, but these screams were not in the name of fear, but in the name of something not even he knew of.

Some distance away, new soldiers ran about in a panic while their superiors tried to bring order to their discord. With an unnoticed path, two beings clad in shadows made their way past the closing gates of the Windurstian walls and to the outside. This hellish field made even pandemonium look welcoming. The army that stood before them was not that of the Yagudo, it was something much more vile than that. Black iron covered their bodies completely, like soulless puppets they held no faces under their masks, just glowing red eyes and an insignia painted on their chests. A bleeding rook from a chessboard being impaled by a saber was this insignia; something that was quite memorable to the two in shadows, for this was the army of Saberrook, a man from a land too far away for normal people to know of. The shadows then removed themselves to reveal Soltreb and Daida holding unorthodox weaponry. Daida was covered with iron like the warrior she was, but holding a silver hilt without a blade or hand guard. Soltreb was dressed in a generic bard's garb with his flute tied around his neck, but he held onto an electric guitar, something that seemed far out of place in this realm. Each of the warriors slowly removed heavy plated tower shields from their backs and in unison, attached them to their left forearm. From the back of those shields they brought forth the most misplaced items of all on the field, submachine guns. Without a moment's passing they aimed and fired upon the two as well as any archer foolish enough to get on the walls. With demon's aim each bullet hit the archers on the wall, one bullet for each of them, all in their heads without a single miss. Though a different outcome came to the two with the unorthodox weaponry. From Daida's bladeless hilt came an intense yellow glow. With a stroke of her hand and a great amount of finesse, the blade intercepted and burned away each bullet directed at her. Soltreb did not even move from his position, instead he played a single note on his guitar; this in turn spawned a large amplifier in front of him, the object taking the bullet for him. In an instant Soltreb began to play a single chord rapidly again and again, spawning thousands of amplifiers until a huge wall stood before him. A gold, glowing wire then appeared from the guitar and hooked itself into one of the amplifiers and from that amplifier more golden wires appeared. Each wire hooked into another amplifier and soon they were all hooked into one another. A pedal then appeared in front of him and he stepped on it while mumbling, "Distortion makes everything sound better." He then put his finger in between two strings and dragged his finger up the neck of the guitar and at the end struck a single note creating a loud boom, shattering the iron creatures. Daida was covering her ears with her free arm at the time. As soon as the sound stopped ringing out she then uncovered her ears and charged forward towards the armored fiends. Her yellow blade of light cut through them as if they were air. The armored creatures began to fire almost randomly at the speeding yellow blade, hitting their allies far more than even getting close to hitting her. Soltreb soon began to play his guitar again, but this time his devastating notes seemed to be targeted to specific areas away from Daida. He then pointed his guitar to the sky and in an instant his hands and his guitar were encased in a torrent of blue fire. He then began to play an extremely fast song, causing golden rings to appear next to each of the soldiers. Daida then began to flee for her life as Soltreb stepped down on his pedal again and played an extremely loud chord, shattering every last soldier, except one. This one did not hold a gun and shield like all the others, instead he held a weapon much like Daida's, except its blade was a dark red, as well as the fact that this man wore no helmet, instead he showed his pale skin and Hume form.

"Guten tag, Mädchen!" spoke the man, "It's been so long and I see you've grown weak, but at least not as weak as those creatures." He then pointed to a horde of Yagudo charging towards the man. "Amazing, aren't they, they cast away their plans to take back their land to try and defeat me…" continued the man, "They must sense the force in me and foolishly see me a great threat." He then held out an open hand towards the charging force.

"Don't you dare!" Yelled Daida as she threw her saber at the man, "They have nothing to do with this!" As the blade spun across the field at the man he simple motioned his other hand at the blade, throwing it back at the Mithra woman with an unseen force. As the Yagudo closed in on the man he then quickly clasped his hand and in an instant all the feathered men fell to the ground, blood gushing from their mouths.

"Do you like it, Mädchen?" Asked the man, "I call it mass force death!"

"You monster!" Yelled Daida as she got her hands on her saber again. The man smiled and opened his mouth as if to say something, but a wall of amplifiers appearing around him cut him off. Soltreb then struck one last chord as loud as he could, trying to obliterate the man, but he quickly sliced open every last amplifier, freeing himself from the wall.

"Annoying." Stated the man as he pointed an open hand at Soltreb. With as much haste as she could use, Daida sped towards the man in hopes to kill him before he could kill her beloved with his force death. With a smirk the man spun round and sliced Daida in half, his ploy worked without a flaw. As Soltreb looked on at the sight of his wife being killed he could not help but be enraged, pure rage, a bloodlust that would never be quenched, and a fire in his eyes that would never be doused. He charged forth at the man with a speed unlike any other, his guitar being held in both hand and being flailed about as if it were a mace. With a loud crack the guitar broke at the neck and the Mithra man grabbed the strings and began to choke the man, crushing his weak neck with the guitar strings. The man would never breathe again, but that did not mean he could not kill one more. He lifted his free hand and with an unseen force, crushed Soltreb's lungs and heart in a single move. In the few moments were Soltreb's mind was still active his thoughts wondered to his wife and his children and how he felt that he failed them. Amazingly enough, Daida's glowing blade was still extended and as the man fell backwards, he was impaled on the blade through the heart. It would not take long for this battlefield to be discovered, but the military figures that did find this place had a much different story to tell of it.

Daida was claimed as a hero that defeated an army on her own and Soltreb went down in history as a worthless creature that merely got in her way. Daida's children were held as celebrities, except for Dervask who was only pitied as a poor child that lost his parents. Although all of the children's pain was great, Dervask's pain was far greater, for he was watching the events of the battle unfold for he had climbed on top of one of the walls before the battle and hid as well as he could as archers' bodies piled up around him. "This sexist society must pay for its stupidity!" Thought Dervask in his mind, "My father was not a worthless creature that deserves such a thankless status of a being that could do nothing to help!"

End Prolog.

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Next Chapter: Ten Years Later

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Side Notes: Now, you may be thinking to yourself, is Daida a Jedi, or is Soltreb a Guitar Hero? Well, the answer is yes. Of course the fact that you're now thinking to yourself, that makes no god damn sense! Well, it does, but you have to wait for the explanation!

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Hate me for killing off their parents? Hate me for not killing of Vendisioh? Hate me for thinking about killing Vendisioh? Then review, or die trying!

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I would like to thank everyone who is reading this, for without you, I would be very lonely…

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Squeenix owns all rites to FFXI. I own all characters and storyline so far.